"Alright, begin!"

Blade digs into the side of the aluminum can.
Beer splashes my hand as I twist the knife to create a circle towards the bottom.
Fold the knife into the handle and stuff it into my pocket.
Kiss the aluminum around the hole and tilt the can upwards. Hand groping the top for the tiny metal tab. Finger digs underneath it, a pop and a hiss as the beer comes flooding down my throat.

"Chug! Chug! Chug!"
they chant in unison.

Sucking down foam, I crush the can on my head and throw the can on the ground. It clinks against the cement and a loud belch escapes my lips.

"Nice, man! That's the fastest I've ever seen anyone drink one of those!"

"Yeah, I know. I'm the shit."

Over the clapping and cheering, somewhere on the other side of the crowd, I hear that all-too-familiar voice. Officer Jenny. Fuck.

Before anyone else can react, I grab the bag of alcoholic beverages off the ground and cheese it. Bottles clinking in the bag with each step. Break for the mouth of the alleyway, and take a right. Cross the street without looking and dart into the adjacent alleyway.

Normally I wouldn't abandon my friends like that, but being caught breaking the law could seriously fuck with my chances of boning Officer Jenny. Have to be careful.

About halfway down the alley, there's another alley that branches off to the right. Make my way over there slowly, and rest against the wall to the left.

Man, I wish I had a cigarette right now. Fuck, I wish I could go buy one right now.
Fucking age restriction.

Sigh.

What's that?
Listen.
Is that someone crying? A vulnerable girl, perhaps? Better check things out.

Slowly make my way towards the sound.

"Hello?"

No response. More sobbing. Sounds like it's coming from behind that dumpster.
Approach.

"Excuse me, miss..." look down, eyes widen, "...ter."

He looks up at me, snot dripping from his nose. Tears raining from his chin. Looks to be about ten, or so. Fuck, dude. Wanted to get laid.

"Are you okay?"

"No," he says, voice breaking as he shields his eyes with his forearms.

Aw, hell, dude. I feel bad. And it's not even because I'm not gonna get laid. Well, it kinda is, but it kinda isn't, you know? Like, I don't know. I feel bad for the little dude, I guess. Normally, I wouldn't get involved, but I dunno.

"What's wrong little bro?"

Kneel in front of him. He starts babbling about a Pikachu and some sort of theatre troop, but I'm not really listening. I think the kid needs a beer. I set the bag down and open it up. Grab a beer and hand it to him. He stops going on about his electric rat and looks at the bottle hesitantly.

"W-what's that?"

"Beer, dude." Chuckle. "Don't you drink beer?"

"No. My mom says I'm not supposed to drink that stuff."

"Nah, dude. You got it all wrong. Alcohol is good for solving any problem."

"But I need to get my Pikachu back!"

"Dude. Are you ever going to get it back if you're a frantic, crying mess?"

"I-"

"The correct answer is no."

"But-"

"No buts, little guy. Drink up."

Twist the cap off for him, and force it into his hand. Force his hand to bring the bottle up to his open mouth, spilling delicious beer down his throat. He coughs, spitting up beer all over his pants.

"That stuff is horrible!"

"Does medicine ever taste good?" I ask, forcing the bottle into his mouth, glass clinking against his teeth, I turn it upward. "Drink up, man. It's for your own good."

"Where are we going?"

"We're going to a party, little guy. We're gonna get you laid."

"I don't feel right. I feel funny."

"That's normal, you're fine."

"What about my Pikachu?!"

"We'll get that tomorrow, kid. Don't worry about it."

"What's 'laid'?"

"Heh. Just keep walking. You'll find out soon enough."

Open the door and walk through. It's basically an open party by now, so many goddamn people that it doesn't matter if you know the owner of the house or not. Foolish bastard wanted a kegger, and by god, he got one."

They probably sell cups, but this isn't a problem. We already got drunk before the party. We're here for drunk, easy chicks.

"W......r...e?"

"WHAT?!"

"WHERE ARE WE?!"

"THE PARTY, DUDE!"

It's so loud in here with the music and everyone speaking so loudly amongst themselves that you have to scream to be heard. It's hard to walk three feet without bumping into someone. Lines around corners, which I suspect are for a shot at the keg or a moment in the bathroom.

"I NEED TO FIND MY PIKACHU!"

I turn around and notice he's crying again. He looks scared, frantically looking around at his surroundings. Turn back around and keep walking.

"DUDE! WE'RE NEVER GOING TO SCORE IF YOU KEEP CRYING LIKE THAT!"

Look behind me, and he's no longer there. A crowd of people stand in the general place where he just was. The fuck? Ah, whatever. Time to score.

After about an hour trying to hit on chicks, I've come to the conclusion that there must be a lot of lesbians in this town. Ah, well. Whatever. Maybe I should see if the kid's around.

Glance around. Don't see him. Just a bunch of blurry figures in a crowd.

Better get home. I'm either going to pass out soon, or puke. Maybe both.

Drunkenly stagger through the house, bumping into people. I've been told to watch it god knows how many times now. Fuck it, I don't even care. I'm afraid that watching it just isn't my style.

Finally finagle my way through the front door, and onto the quiet streets. We got here around sunset, and it's dark, now. The streetlights illuminating the desolate city streets. A little early to call it quits, but I'm long since intoxicated.

Make my way down the sidewalk. My house isn't far from here.

Trip on myself, catch the nearest trash can. Metal. Mesh. Holding myself up, I manage to throw up on a pile of trash. Smell is horrible.

Not gonna make it. I need to lay down.....