I know, I know. Way too long since I've posted...I won't even try to defend myself. LOL! This chapter is really uneventful but it needed to be written to bridge some other chapters I have in mind. I kind of like it, hope you do too. XOXO
Chapter Fourteen
Naomi was in a glorious mood when she got off the elevator Monday morning. Walking to her office, she couldn't help smiling as she reminisced about her weekend. She didn't know what to be more excited about; the endless possibilities with Jake or the ceasefire that had been called between her and Sam. For the first time in a long time, she felt free; there were no battles to fight or secrets to hide. After being emotionally weighed down, Naomi felt so light she was practically floating. She didn't even notice the usual evil glares from Violet and Amelia or the fact that Addison was in the office that that morning. Nothing could drag her down today. Beaming, she entered her office and went straight to her desk.
"Wow, you're practically glowing" Charlotte exclaimed, walking into the office behind her. She'd seen Naomi's blinding smile from the elevator. "I take it this weekend wasn't as nearly bad as you'd feared".
"No, it was the exact opposite. It was the best weekend I've had in a long time" Naomi gushed.
"What happened"?
Sitting down behind her desk, Naomi motioned for Charlotte to take a seat too. "Well…" she started coyly; "I took you and Pete's advice".
"You called Jake" Charlotte nearly shouted; she automatically covered her mouth so her voice wouldn't carry.
Naomi laughed. "Yes, I did. Initially, I wasn't going to but after Sam picked up Isaiah, it was barely noon and I was already starting to lose my mind. I was desperate so I asked Jake out for coffee".
"And…." Charlotte prompted, trying hard not to bounce in her seat; she was so excited for Naomi. She hadn't seen Naomi look so relaxed since she'd moved back to California.
"And…it was perfect, just perfect. Jake has to be from a different planet because despite all the drama in my life, he managed to look past it and just see me. It didn't bother him that I had a son nor did it freak him out that I not only work with Isaiah's father, but that he's my ex-husband. It didn't even faze him that I was using him to distract myself from missing Isaiah. Everything I threw at him, he handled with grace. Instead of getting offended, he actually volunteered to spend the whole day with me".
"Oh my God, that's great! Did you take him up on his offer? I'm assuming yes by that crazy smile on your face".
"You would be right again. As usual, I was going to say no but I decided to let go and go with the flow. We didn't make any plans, just jumped in his convertible, let the top down and started driving. It was so spontaneous and carefree. We wound up driving up the California coast and stopping by different beaches and little antique shops all day. On the way back, we kept finding reasons to stay gone a little longer; first he suggested dinner and then I proposed a movie. If it wasn't for Isaiah, I might not have come back home at all".
Charlotte chuckled. "I'm sure you would have come home eventually. I'm so happy you had a good time. It sounds like you really like him".
"I do, he's a breath of fresh air. But more than that, he represents so many possibilities. Jake reminds me of all the things I used to enjoy, things I had forgotten about; he made me remember another side of myself".
"Like being a woman instead of just a mother" Charlotte asked.
"Exactly".
"What made you forget in the first place" Charlotte wondered.
Naomi paused, her smile shrinking a little. That was a loaded question with a complicated answer; Charlotte's question had unknowingly revealed some truths about herself that Naomi had previously ignored. After spending years in turmoil wanting Sam back, it had taken every ounce of strength Naomi could muster to get over him. When she finally did move on, a piece of her had been put under lock and key and buried; not just any piece, her heart. Men no longer interested Naomi because the pain that came with being involved with a man was something she couldn't bear to go through again. As much as she loved sex and loved love, it wasn't worth it. Isaiah had been a blessing and a distraction. Naomi had convinced herself that being a mom was all the happiness she needed, that being single made her content. And while she did find fulfillment in the life she led now, Jake had reopened her eyes, awakened the part of her that had been dormant. He made her feel alive and it wasn't all together romantic. Even if they never progressed any further, just being his friend reminded Naomi there was more to life. But how could she share her epiphany with Charlotte without confessing her feelings for Sam? She couldn't. Shrugging, Naomi gave a partial answer. "You basically already said it. I love Isaiah so much and I love being his mom. I just think somewhere along the way, I lost myself in him. I gave up my identity as Naomi and resigned myself to being just his mom. I don't regret it for a minute but now it's time for me to get back out there".
Charlotte nodded, intrigued by Naomi's answer. The way she hesitated and the momentary daze in her eyes led Charlotte to believe that Naomi wasn't telling the whole story. What was she trying to hide? She wasn't holding it against Naomi, but if she could hide her son, the possibilities of what else she could be hiding were endless. However, Charlotte wasn't going to push. As a person who wasn't comfortable sharing her own emotions, she would never force someone else to do it. Instead, she decided to concentrate on Naomi's growth. "It is time; you deserve to be happy".
"Thank you Charlotte".
"You're welcome. So what happened on Sunday? Did you automatically fall back into mommy mode" Charlotte teased.
"Yes and no" Naomi answered. "You know the saying 'when it rains, it pours'"?
"Of course I do".
"Well, the exact opposite is true too. When the sun comes out, it stays for days. Would you believe that when Sam dropped off Isaiah, he actually apologized"?!
Charlotte's mouth dropped open. "He WHAT?! After all the hell he's been giving you, he just decided to apologize out of the blue"?!
"Yes! He says having Isaiah for the weekend finally gave him some clarity. We wound up having this really deep and insightful conversation and laid some things out on the table. It was really cathartic. And for Isaiah's sake, we decided to put the past behind us and start over. I think we both know it won't be the same, but maybe this new friendship between Sam and I will be a stronger one in the future".
"Do you really believe that" Charlotte asked bluntly. "Let's face it; you and Sam don't have the easiest past or the brightest present".
"I know, but that's the whole point; to make things better".
"And you can forgive him just like that, after the way he treated you"?
"I can do anything for my son. Besides, it's not like I'm an innocent bystander. I played my role. At the end of the day, Isaiah needs both of us; you should see him with Sam. They absolutely adore each other. As a matter of fact, when Sam was at my house yesterday, I had to step away and take a phone call, so I handed Isaiah over to him. By the time I came back, Isaiah was lying across Sam's chest and they were both asleep. They were even breathing in sync. It was the cutest thing ever" Naomi gushed. "They must've slept for almost four hours. I had almost finished cooking dinner before they woke up".
Naomi's eyes were a little too bright and her smile was a little too wide when she began talking about Sam. It rivaled the smile she had had when she was talking about Jake. Charlotte would've loved to give Naomi the benefit of the doubt, but she suddenly felt like guessing Naomi's secret wouldn't be so hard. And it would explain some of Naomi's motives behind keeping Isaiah a secret. Did she still have feelings for Sam? "That's quite a nap. Weren't you afraid Isaiah would be up all night" Charlotte responded, keeping her silent musings to herself.
"Normally, but Isaiah was still so tired, he barely made it through dinner. By the time Sam and I put him to bed, he was asleep within less than five minutes".
Charlotte couldn't prevent her eyes from slightly bulging. How had they gone from not talking to each other to acting like a married couple so quickly? "You both put Isaiah to bed? Meaning, Sam stayed for dinner? Ya'll sound like quite the family unit already. Maybe this new friendship will work out". There was a little bit of sarcasm in her tone that Charlotte couldn't mask.
Naomi shook her head, aware of what Charlotte was subtly implying. And for some odd reason her cheeks began burning, her palms turned sweaty, and her heart started to race; an irrational feeling of guilt swept over her. For the slightest second, she briefly remembered Sam's thumb grazing her breast. However, she played it cool. "Don't go there".
"Go where" Charlotte said, raising her hand and feigning innocence.
"Don't go reading into things that simply aren't there. There's nothing going on between me and Sam. If it seems like we're too comfortable around each other, it's because we were married once. Even when we're ready to rip each other's throats out, it's easy to slip back into that comfort zone sometimes. But Sam and I are far from being best friends or anything else and have a long way to go to repair our relationship".
Charlotte couldn't help but notice how defensive Naomi had gotten; it only served to validate her suspicions. At the same time, Charlotte didn't want to damage their newly formed friendship; she wanted them to have a solid foundation. Trust had to be built and patience had to be practiced. If Naomi wasn't ready to admit something to herself, how could Charlotte expect for Naomi to admit it to her? …If there was something to admit. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply anything. The turn of events just happened so quickly, my brain is having a hard time catching up".
Naomi took a deep breath and relaxed, working the tension out of her body. She hadn't realized how stiff she'd become. "It's fine Charlotte. I'm sorry for taking that tone with you; I know you were just being a good friend. And I suppose it would sound a little strange to me too if I was in your shoes".
"It's fine. Trial and error, right? We're still getting to know each other so we're bound to have a few misunderstandings from time to time".
"True" Naomi agreed, her smile returning. She was still in too good of a mood to let even a little disagreement between her and Charlotte ruin her jubilation. However, when she looked over Charlotte's shoulder and through the window, she saw something that might put a dent in her glee. Addison was staring daggers at her. Naomi's smile dipped a little. "Addison's in the office today"?
Charlotte glanced back. "Yep, I think she will be all week. I didn't see her name on the surgery schedule at St. Ambrose at all this week". Turning around, she asked tentatively "How do you think Addison reacted to Sam spending so much time with you yesterday"?
"Charlotte…" Naomi started.
"I'm not implying anything, truly this time. But it doesn't matter how innocent it was, she still couldn't have liked it".
Naomi knew Charlotte was right but there was no way in hell she could feel even an ounce of sympathy for Addison. "Well, that's Sam's concern, not mine".
As if hearing his name, Sam appeared in the doorway. Knocking on the open door, he asked "Hey, I don't mean to interrupt but can we talk for a minute? I wanted to run something by you".
Charlotte was still silently reeling. A few days ago, Sam could barely bear to look at Naomi and now he was casually dropping by her office like it was no big deal. It made her wonder if he had some repressed feelings too. Shaking her head, Charlotte stood. "You have perfect timing Sam, I was just leaving. My first patient should be here any minute. Naomi, we'll just finish talking later, lunch perhaps"?
"Oh no, I have plans for lunch, but I'll stop by your office later today" Naomi smiled slyly.
"Jake" Charlotte mouthed excitedly, making sure she had passed Sam first, on her way out the door.
Naomi nodded.
"I look forward to you stopping by" Charlotte said, loud enough for Sam to hear this time. She couldn't wait to get the scoop on Naomi's lunch date with Jake. And she felt more assured that even if Naomi still had feelings for Sam, she wasn't putting her life on hold for him. As Charlotte reached the office door, she turned back and winked before leaving the office.
Naomi smiled and turned her attention to Sam, who had made himself comfortable in the chair Charlotte had just unoccupied. "What's up".
"What kind of plans do you have" Sam asked casually, leaning back in the chair.
Naomi tried to mirror Sam's casualness, but she couldn't stop her legs from bouncing under the table; "Just meeting a friend for lunch to catch up". Though she hadn't lied, Naomi felt compelled to keep her lunch date with Jake from Sam. Instinct told her it wouldn't be a good idea to share it with him. Naomi rationalized that if history was any indication, Sam wouldn't take it well. He'd claimed to be looking out for her, but Sam's disapproval of Jake asking her out a few months ago had seemed been apparent. Now that they were building a new relationship, it was probably best that they stay out of each other's personal lives anyway. "So what did you want to talk about" Naomi asked, steering the conversation back into the right direction.
"Well, uh…" Sam sat up straight again. "Here's the thing. I know this friendship of ours is brand new and I don't want to disrupt it but…"
"Sam, what is it? You're making me nervous. Just spit it out".
"I want more time with Isaiah" Sam whooshed out on a breath of air he had been holding. "I'm not trying to step on your toes or steal him away from you or even start an argument. I just want time with my son. After this weekend and last night, seeing him for a couple hours a day is not enough".
Naomi studied Sam intently, seeing his nervousness. Did he really think she would deny him more time with Isaiah? She sighed. "Sam, I'm sorry if I've given you the impression that I would be against this or fight you on this subject. But that's not the case. When Isaiah was in the hospital, I told you we would make out a schedule when he was feeling better and I meant that".
"I know you did and I believe you when you say you won't keep me away from him. I guess I just wouldn't blame you if you did. Up until yesterday, our communication had been strained at best. I haven't been very nice to you lately".
"And I didn't tell you about Isaiah for six months. We both played our parts. However, as of yesterday, that's water under the bridge, remember? I'm actually glad you brought this up because I was thinking about it last night after you left". Naomi took a deep breath. "This is really hard, I'm not used to being away from him but this is what I propose; if you're willing to give me one weekend a month, I'll agree to you taking Isaiah on all other weekends and Wednesday nights".
"Seriously?! That would be great Naomi! Are you sure? I don't want you to feel pressured like you did this past week" Sam rambled, in slight shock.
Naomi inhaled shakily. "I'm sure. It might be hard for me but it's what best for Isaiah. He needs to get to know you as much as you need to get to know him. So I guess we're in agreement then".
"We certainly are. I can't tell you how much this means to me. Thanks again".
"No thanks needed. I'll make a list of contact information you might need like Isaiah's doctor, his babysitter, and so on and give it to you later; just to make sure we're on the same page". Naomi looked down and started shuffling papers on her desk. She suddenly felt the strong urge to cry; she already missed the time she wasn't going to get to spend with her son.
Sam reached over the desk and placed his hand on top of Naomi's. He waited until they made eye contact again to speak. "I know this is even harder than you're letting on. So I don't care if you don't want one…thank you Naomi".
"Thank you Sam".
"For what"?
"For being such a wonderful father; no matter what our differences have been, I've never doubted your love for Isaiah. From the moment you found out about him, you stepped in and became the father he needed. If there is one thing that makes this easier, it is knowing that I don't have to worry when he's with you".
"And I don't have to worry with you. Parenting was never our problem. We rarely had any problems that I can recall".
"I'm sure some people would disagree with you considering our daughter got pregnant in high school" Naomi joked.
"Hey, we can teach but it's up to them to learn. You were and are a great mother Naomi".
"And like I said, you're a great father" Naomi smiled genuinely. It was at times like this that she felt the most ease around Sam. It was almost hard to believe it used to always be this easy around him, that arguing used to be rare between them. Something bouncing in the corner of her periphery vision brought Naomi out of her thoughts. Through the window, Addison was still sending murderous glares her way. Only this time, she was beat red and looked on the verge of storming into the office. Naomi pulled her hand away from Sam.
"What's wrong" Sam asked, confused as to why Naomi had broken the moment they were sharing. Sam longed for that type of ease to be the norm between them again. They had been forcing it for so many years; he'd almost forgotten what genuine comfort felt like with Naomi. But it was only going to happen if they both worked at it; neither one could hold back.
"Your girlfriend doesn't look too happy. And I don't know about you Sam, but I've had enough drama to last a lifetime. Maybe it's time we get to work before someone starts a scene. Besides, we've already covered what you wanted to talk about".
Sam turned around and looked at Addison; he was a dead man walking. He sighed as he rehashed the argument they'd gotten into last night in his head. She'd been livid. Yes, he should have called and explained where he was but how could Addison really be upset that he was trying to improve the communication lines with Naomi. Months ago, even weeks ago, Addison had wanted to get her friendship with Naomi back on track too. Now she seemed to care less. Granted, she had every reason in the world to be upset; he and Naomi had had sex behind her back. But they were also all adults and adults got over things; and if they couldn't get over things, they at least put on a brave front and kept pushing or at the worst, went their separate ways. The bottom line was Sam had to have a relationship with Naomi for Isaiah's sake; more than that, he just wanted his old friend back. If Addison would get past her pain too, she'd realize she wanted Naomi's friendship back as well. Sam didn't want to sound heartless but those were the facts; he was going to give Addison however much time she needed to grieve but he wouldn't allow her to dictate what he did just to ease her insecurities. They'd never last if they gave into each other's demands like that. He was going to have to earn her trust back and she was going to have to learn to trust again without taking extreme measures like cutting people off. Sam turned back around. "She didn't appreciate me being gone all day yesterday"
Naomi guessed Sam was putting it mildly. "No, I guess she wouldn't like you spending so much time with the other woman" she teased. "No woman would; so why don't you try to go get back in her good graces. Don't let her think something is going on between us when it isn't". Naomi didn't know where it had come from, but she felt a certain liberation regarding Sam and Addison's relationship that she'd never experienced before. Maybe it was coming to terms with the fact that Sam had never loved her or maybe it was because she didn't have to pretend things between her and Addison were okay or maybe it was Jake. Having a man draw her interest gave her less time to care.
"That's what I spent all last night attempting to do. I'm not some unfeeling bastard who doesn't care how she feels but I can only appease her so much. If she had it her way, I would've never apologized or tried to make nice with you. We'd still be ignoring each other. I realize she's hurting but that's not fair or realistic of her to ask. We have a son and I value you as one of my oldest friends".
"We also have a long history that's hard to ignore". Naomi still found it impossible to be sympathetic towards Addison, but from a woman's perspective, she understood.
"So, what are you saying? Should we not be friends? Should I walk away now and never come back"? Sam's heart quickened.
"No" Naomi exclaimed, reach out for Sam's hand without thinking. "I'm just saying that I understand her point of view and if you felt the need to distance yourself, I would understand. I don't want to wreck or interfere in your personal life. But I don't want to lose you either Sam. We've been through too much". Naomi felt her pulse throbbing; she cleared her throat. "And of course, there's Isaiah".
"Right" Sam said, feeling like he could breathe again. Her words had scared him for a moment. "I wish she would understand that".
"Well, if it's that important to you, go make her understand" Naomi urged. "Don't let our friendship come between you two".
"It is important" Sam affirmed, standing up. "You're right; I have to convince her that our friendship won't affect our relationship. She's eventually got to stop being stubborn and realize I love her and want to be with her".
Naomi smiled but didn't respond.
Sam smiled back, shaking his head. He knew exactly what Naomi's silence meant. Addison's stubbornness was impressive, especially when she believed she was right about something. But she wasn't right about this. Sam walked towards the door and stopped right before he crossed over the threshold. "By the way, you could never be the other woman Naomi. You're the type someone marries, not pushes to the side. Trust me, I'm speaking from personal experience".
Naomi had to fight to keep her throat from closing up and tears springing to her eyes. "Thanks Sam. Now go talk to Addison".
"You're welcome Nae, talk to you later".
"Talk to you later".