Adaptations

Trust Me

"I want to help you destroy human life."

Zim's smile slowly curved upwards. "Well that's something, Dib-worm. Or… Invader Dib, I should say."

Zim was about to happily walk away from the classroom when Dib grabbed onto his arm. "What, is there something else?"

"I'm not that easy," Dib said. "I just told you that I want to destroy my entire race with an alien that I've only known for a year. Did you think it was going to be this easy?"

"You're not a very bright human," Zim said. "Yes, Zim thought it was going to be that easy."

"Well, it's not."

"Why not?"

"Because I still don't trust you 100%."

"You don't?" Zim asked, cocking his head to the side. "Why not?"

Dib sighed. "Zim, you're an invader. One of your main goals on this planet is to be deceitful. You could easily leave me here on Earth while you execute a plan to destroy it all."

Zim thought for a moment, placing a hand on his chin. "Hm… you have a point. What do you suggest, stupid human?"

Dib thought for a moment, turning away from Zim. After a couple of seconds, he turned back around and told Zim the first thing that popped into his head. "I want to meet your Tallest."

"Almighty Tallest Red and Purple?" Zim asked, a bit hesitant. "I…. don't think they would appreciate it very much if I brought a human onto an irken transmission. Which brings me to my next thought."

Zim walked up into Dib's face. "How can I trust you? How do I know your stupid big-head won't waltz onto an irken battleship and destroy it from the inside?"

Dib smiled, pushing Zim back. "Because I've had some to think."

"Stop playing games with me, stupid Dib-worm," Zim growled. "What kind of thinking? You've been doing too much of it."

"Well, I know a lot more about Earth than you do," Dib said. "Let's face it, you need information from a human who's lived here his entire life."

Zim thought for a moment. "I guess you are right. But I still don't exactly trust you. In fact, now that I think about it, I find it stupid that you have been spending all of a year trying to defeat me, and now you're suddenly on my side." He bonked his head up against Dib's. "Highly suspicious, stupid human."

Dib pushed Zim away from him. "It's complicated."

"No, Zim thinks it's pretty simple," he said, crossing his arms.

"Then, why don't you explain it to me?" Dib asked. "Explain it to me. Because, I swear I DO NOT know what I am doing right now." He began to break down a bit. A bunch of thoughts were rushing at him all at once.

"Dib, calm down," Zim said, ironically. "You won't get anywhere with you yelling like that in the middle of Skool. Geez, have some decency."

Dib blinked. He had a strong urge to make fun of Zim for saying that, but he didn't have the 'decency' to do so. Though, he did have one question for Zim. "Zim… if all of the irkens decided that you were stupid and not worth your time, and it was like that all of your life, would you ever consider going against them?"

"Not even a little," Zim said immediately. "Why would you even consider that a possibility?"

Dib gave Zim a look, reminding him that he was doing just that.

"Oh," Zim said, backing off a bit. "Listen, Dib-worm. I'm going to give you some genuine Irken advice, so listen closely. As much as I do enjoy that you want to join the side of the winners, I understand it if you want to stick with your stupid human race and die in a pit of hot lava when we destroy this place."

Dib blinked. "I-I…"

Zim turned around. He tried a more dominant approach, much like the approach the Almighty Tallest would go for with him. "I'm waiting, Dib. Zim doesn't have all day."

Dib grunted in frustration. "Ooooh. Fine!"

Zim turned around and cocked his head to the side. "Fine? Fine, what?!"

"Fine, I'll join you and the aliens to destroy the Earth. Officially this time!"

Zim smiled, bringing his hands together. "Hehehe. Excellent! Success! I am Zim!" Zim shot his hands up in the air and waved them around a bit.

Dib blinked. "Fine, but bring me to your leaders. I want to talk to them still."

Zim sighed. "Oh, alright, you persistent little human. Though, if they don't trust you in any way, they'll probably kill you, so my problem is solved no matter what."

"They'll kill me?" Dib asked, shocked.

"Only if you prove to be an actual threat to the irken empire," Zim said. "But so far with your incompetence, I'm certain that the Tallest would be most accepting of you since you can't seem to get anything accomplished."

"You have accomplished anything, either!" Dib exclaimed.

"Yes, but I am Zim!" he exclaimed, feeling dignified. "That makes me okay."

Dib sighed. "Maybe I can side with some other alien whose ego isn't as big as this planet."

Zim chuckled as he led him back to his base. "Heh, stupid Dib-human. Not possible. ALL of our egos are huge."

Dib sighed again.

Zim brought Dib down to the bottom of the base and showed him the large screen where he would send a transmission to the Tallest.

"I'm surprised you actually allowed me to come down here," Dib said. "I thought you didn't trust me."

"I don't," Zim said. "I just know that if you do anything weird, I can just have the house pummel you in a couple of seconds. So I suggest you choose your motives wisely."

"You won't have to worry about me," Dib said. "Once I do this… I guess there's no turning back, is there?"

"Well, there is a turning back after this," Zim explained. "But the result generally ends with you being destroyed, so either turn back now or grow a pair of human balls and stick to your original word."

Dib blinked. "Are you experimenting with human phrases again?"

"… Yes. Did I do it right?"

"Yeah, you did," Dib said, rolling his eyes.

"Okay, good," Zim said. "What's it going to be, Dib-worm?"

"I'm… set. Let's do this before my body realizes how much of an idiot I am."

"Oh, don't worry," Zim said. "That feeling goes away." He hit a button on his console and the transmission was sent to the Tallest. Zim and Dib waited patiently until Red and Purple popped up on the screen.

"Greetings, my Tallest," Zim said, saluting.

Dib looked at him and figured that he should follow his lead. He turned to the screen again and said, "Greetings… my Tallest," he said in a faltering voice, doing a faint salute.

Purple blinked. "Zim… did you create a robot that looks and sounds like the human that keeps chasing you around and ruining your plans?"

Zim shook his head. "No, sir. Believe it or not, this is the real Dib-human. He has requested to talk to you."

Red grunted. "Zim, I'm going to avoid calling you an idiot for bringing a human to your base because you should already know that by now. My one question is why a human thinks he can talk to an Almighty Tallest."

Dib pushed Zim out of the way. "Because I have a way to end the Earth… my Tallest."

The Tallest looked at each other. Purple blinked and said, "That seems like…"

"A total hoax," Red finished. "You're a human. Why would you want to destroy your own planet?"

"Because I… because I… it's a really, really long story," Dib said.

"Well, we actually have an hour," Purple said. "We've been waiting for doughnuts, and we've just been sitting here since no one's been calling us. So we can use a good story."

"Really?" Red asked, turning to Purple.

"Come on, Red. I'm bored."

Red sighed. "Fine." He turned back to Dib. "You have 15 minutes to explain yourself and we'll let you know if we trust you or not. Otherwise, we have weapons installed in Zim's base. We'll be sure to get rid of you as soon as possible, especially since you know far too much information from the Irken Civilization. Your time starts… now."

Dib gulped. He gave them the watered-down version of the events that had been happening in the past couple of weeks. He also threw in some details of his childhood to show why he is so begrudging of the humans now. As he said all of this, he felt a little ridiculous talking about all of this with aliens, but… he felt like he could trust them.

And if he didn't trust them, he was going to be dead in a few minutes anyways.

No turning back now.

After Dib was finished speaking, he had used up a little over 14 minutes of his 15 minute time limit. The Almighty Tallest had to admit that they were impressed with Dib's intellect and his independent motives. Though, it all really came down to if he trusted him.

Red cleared his throat after giving Dib's words some thought. "Dib, you're not as stupid as Zim cuts you out to be."

"Um… thank you?" Dib said.

"But there's probably one thing you should know before you decide to destroy your own planet, or we decide to pummel you," Purple said.

Dib gulped, afraid that the pummeling was still on the table for him. "What is that?"

Red looked over at Zim and said, "Zim, exit the room."

"But, my Tallest," Zim pleaded.

"Zim… exit the room," Red said, sighing.

Zim sighed. He took the elevator back up to the main room and waited patiently for Dib and the Tallest to finish their conversation.

Red looked at Dib, and Dib confirmed that Zim was officially gone. "Dib, I'm going to be blunt. You're wasting your time."

"What, why?" Dib asked.

"Earth isn't even a part of the operation," Red explained. "We just sent Zim there to get rid of him. Whether he destroys Earth or not doesn't matter to us."

Dib blinked. "So all of that was true? Zim's here for nothing?"

Purple nodded. "Yeah," he said bluntly. "Zim's supposed to be banished for destroying our first operation and a portion of our planet. This was the next best plan."

Dib shook his head. "B-but," he mumbled.

"Forget about it, Dib," Red said, grimacing. "You're wasting your time."

Red was about to shut off the transmission, but then Dib got up closer to the screen and yelled, "Wait!"

Purple sighed. "What is it?"

"Earth is more valuable than you both think!"

Red and Purple looked at each other. "Why do you say that?" Red asked. "It's just a stupid planet just like all of the rest."

"Yes, but it has plenty of resources that you guys can use," Dib explained. "We have food, water, fuel, and gems and all of that kind of stuff. Zim's mission doesn't have to be a waste!"

Red blinked a few times. He opened his mouth to say something and then closed it again. Then he finally said, "Human, let's ignore all of that stuff for right now. Why do you care so much about Zim?"

"Yeah, and why are you joining a race of malicious invaders who want to destroy your planet?" Purple asked. "Other than for the fact that we're really awesome and make the best doughnuts in the galaxy."

Dib sighed, ignoring that last comment. "This may sound a little stupid to you guys, but Zim brought a bit of energy to my life. No human has managed to do that ever."

"So… your solution is to turn your back against them?" Red asked.

Dib looked to the ground. "Y-yes."

Red gave Dib a straight face. "Okay, then."

Purple looked at Red. "Okay, then?! You're fine with this."

Red crossed his arms. "Well… I'm not exactly sure what resources Earth has to offer. But… I'll have one of our own to do a diagnostic of Earth's components. We'll see if any of it is useful to us."

"And if the resources are useful?" Dib asked.

Red blinked. "Get Zim back in here."

Dib nodded. "Yes… my Tallest," he said with some hesitation.

"Oh my goodness, stop saying that," Purple said. "It sounds weird when you say it."

"O-okay," Dib said. He walked out of the room and brought Zim back in.

Red and Purple filled Zim in on what he missed from the previous conversation.

"If… if we find that Earth is useful," Red started, "then we'll send you the armada when we're ready."

"Y-you're going to send me the armada?" Zim asked, in awe.

"IF we deem Earth useful," Purple reassured Zim. "Otherwise… your only choices right now is to stay on Earth or go to Foodcourtia. We're not letting you back in the collective right now."

Zim frowned. "B-but."

"No buts," Red said. "You know what you did, and we're tired of sugar coating it for you."

"Be expecting an irken in a couple of days," Purple said. "He will give us a proper assessment of Earth, and we'll let you know if we're going to invade or not."

Zim was saddened with the news, but he still did his salute. If there was something that he was taught at the Academy, it was to be respectful to his Tallest. "Yes, my Tallest," Zim said with a forced dignified tone.

"Fine," Red said. He yawned and said, "I'm going to bed. I can only take so much weirdness in a day."

"I second that," Purple said. He shut off the transmission and the room went a bit dark.

Dib simply stared at the screen for a few moments. So much had just happened in the past 24 hours, and he had just solidified it all in a quick 30 minute conversation with an alien race. It was a lot for it to handle.

And it didn't help that Zim bonked him on the head with his own head.

Dib grabbed his own head and exclaimed, "Hey! Why did you do that, Zim?"

"Thank you, Dib-worm," Zim said, a lot of grimace in his voice. It was almost like he had to strain himself just to say those 2 words.

"Um… you're welcome," Dib said, rubbing his head. "But why did you just hit our heads together?"

"Isn't that the sign to show affection on Earth?" Zim asked.

"No!" Dib exclaimed. "We do things like… hug and kiss and things like that."

Zim scoffed. "Yeah, that sounds all too mushy for me."

"Whatever," Dib said. "And besides, why were you trying to show affection for me?" Dib asked, not really thinking straight since he had a headache.

"Isn't it obvious, stupid human?"

"Well clearly it isn't!" Dib exclaimed. "Stop being so cryptic."

"Dib-human!" Zim exclaimed. "You just convinced my Tallest to allow me to continue being an invader instead of sending me back to Foodcourtia! Zim is now an invader because of you."

"Yeah, but…" Dib thought for a moment. "I was only doing it so I can get revenge on all of the people who made fun of me in the past."

Zim pointed to Dib. "You're lying to Zim! I know that you're still uncomfortable about being an adversary in your own planet's destruction. Why are you lying to me?"

"Because you deserve better than to be banished to a planet where no one can accept you!" Dib exclaimed. "I feel like I'm the alien that was banished here and now no one wants to associate with me! I get it!"

Zim blinked. He then leaned forward and bonked Dib on the head again.

Dib grunted. "Dang it, Zim!" he yelled. "If we're going to do this, we're going to do it right." Dib leaned forward and connected his lips with Zim.