John Ross and Pamela S E 11 - Christopher

John Ross woke up to find Pamela had gone to the restaurant and that he had a voicemail from Cristopher that said, "Hey John Ross, I know you said not to talk to anybody about your being in St. Kitts, but Emma has been talking about how much she misses Pamela, so can I tell her where you guys are?"

Pacing around the patio, he dialed Christopher's number immediately. Manipulative little bitch. He'd have to tell Christopher the truth about Emma.

"What's going on John Ross?" the voice on the other end of the line asked.

"I've got stuff to tell you. But first off, I gotta say, watch out for Emma. Under no circumstances let her get anywhere near your phone or your computer."

"Hey man. What's that about?"

"Emma's obsessed with Pamela. As in, romantically obsessed. She's threatened some stuff. This was one of the reasons I had to take Pamela away from Dallas."

"For real?"

"Now, don't get into it with her. It's not worth it and it will only make her more dangerous."

"Wish you'd told me this before. It explains why she's been cozying up to me. It's been kind of weird."

"Yeah, well, she's got a purpose." John Ross finished. "Christopher, I gotta ask you, what's going on with the investigation of Doctor Macnamara?"

"Well, Bum looked into him, all the way back to his college days, trying to find dirt on him. He found nothing. So I went to the detective, remember the one that helped us with the Harris Ryland investigation? He says he's going to look into it, but he'd need an official affidavit from Pamela to stop this guy and get him arrested."

John Ross exploded. "No way, Pamela's not going anywhere near that psycho."

"She wouldn't have to-"

"No! The victim should not be responsible for bringing the criminal to justice! Up till last week we couldn't even talk to her about it, because she didn't know what had happened to her. And now that she does, she's dealing with worse stuff."

Christopher paused, cautious, "Like what?"

"Like, the possibility that she might be carrying his child."

"Christ!"

The fact he had a beautiful ocean view before him did nothing to assuage his angst. "And then, she might have to decide- To decide on an abortion. You should see what she's like around babies. It's like she's drawn to them like a magnet."

"And she needs to know about the babies she's lost. We might have to tell her...ah man... I can't do this alone Christopher, you're going to have to come. If we tell her about the twin babies, she's going to suffer that loss all over again. I can't watch her go through that."

When they hung up it was with the promise that Christopher would fly out the very next day. And that he would cover his tracks so no one could trace his itinerary. The Ewing boys weren't taking any chances. They were closing ranks and circling the wagons.

John Ross also specified, that Christopher would be silent on certain subjects, unless and until he was needed.

He now went to the restaurant to pick up Pamela so they could go to the to the St. Kitts hospital where the OB/GYN was on staff.

"You okay?" He asked as he drove her across the island.

"No."

"Hey. It's gonna be alright, I'm with you. All the way, Pammie."

She didn't say another word. The silent Pamela was the one that worried him.

"What did Mama Joy say?" he asked.

"Nothing. She doesn't know."

"Bet you could talk to her about it."

"Maybe, I will."

At the hospital, they met Dr. Anika, an Indian looking woman, originally from Trinidad.

"How do you do? Tell me what I can do for you?"

Pamela spoke, "We need you to do a...a pregnancy test, and...to tell us how long I've been pregnant. If I am pregnant, that is."

"Very well, let's start with the date of your last period."

"I can't say. I don't remember."

The doctor looked puzzled. But she did not pry.

"I see. That is not so unusual. When is the date of your last intercourse?"

"Two months ago."

"Do you have any children?"

"No."

"Have you ever been pregnant before?"

"No."

John Ross was very uncomfortable. When Dr. Anika sent Pamela out to an examining room he hastened to tell her, "My wife was pregnant before, with twins. She lost them. She doesn't know this. It's...suppressed."

He hastened to add, "If she is pregnant now, if it's older than two months it would be a result of rape."

"I see. Dr. Gina did tell me there were difficult circumstances. I had no idea they were this delicate. What was the reason she lost your babies?"

"She was in an explosion."

"Oh my goodness, how awful."

"There was an aneurism. They repaired it but the babies still died."

"And you say she's unaware of all this?"

"She knows she was raped. The rest, well, Dr. Gina is helping us bring it back to her memory."

She left him there, and he took long deep breaths to calm himself. But he felt a grenade was about to explode in his chest.

The following day they gathered in Dr. Gina's office.

"I received some of your results," Dr. Gina said. "Not all of them, but some, and we can begin with those. We'll take this little by little, okay?"

"Remember, Pamela, nothing's going to happen to you that you don't want it to. You will be in control of making the decisions from now on. But in order to do so you might need some information that is hidden in your mind. And there may be some discomfort in going to get that information. But whatever happened in the past didn't kill you, you survived it. Now we just have to help you process it."

"Focus on what you have in your life now. Hang onto that, Pamela."

John Ross now said, "That's right, you always got me baby. I'll be with you through it all."

Pamela had drifted off and now John Ross was calling her back to the present. She'd noticed he had checked his cell phone several times. Now he was asking, "Pammie, did you hear me?"

"No."

"Christopher's outside."

"Christopher's here?"

"Yes. He's here. Well, he's here 'cause I asked him to come. Do you mind if he comes in?"

"I guess it's okay." She looked at Gina. John Ross must've cleared it with Gina ahead of time. She was sure he had a reason for this.

When Christopher came in, he gave her a very gentle hug. But then he squeezed her tight. "I'm so sorry Pamela," he said.

Christopher had always had the most expressive eyes. While John Ross' were hard to read, Christopher's gave everything away and she could see deep caring in them. She felt comforted even though she didn't know what was about to happen.

As they all sat down again Gina opened the test results and said, "Are you ready?"

John Ross squeezed her hand and she nodded.

"Dr Anika says the results of the test are positive. But she was not able to determine the age of the fetus yet. It's very difficult at this stage."

"So it could be mine," John Ross said, and then corrected himself, "I mean, ours."

"No matter what, it IS mine, John Ross," Pamela said.

"I didn't mean that, Baby. It could still be ours, even if...if it's his."

"There is another issue that Dr. Anika wants you to know," she said, "that this is likely to be a very high risk pregnancy, because of your medical history."

"What history?" Pamela asked.

Dr. Gina cleared her throat. "Pamela, Christopher is here because he constitutes a significant part of your past that is relevant to your future."

Pamela turned to Christopher as he said, "Pamela, when you and I were married before, you were pregnant." At her pulling back in horror, "Yeah Pamela, you were pregnant with twins, our twin babies."

"Where are they, where are my babies?"

"I'm so sorry to tell you this. Our babies didn't make it to term, you lost them."

"No! That is awful, you are lying. How could you say such a thing? I don't remember any of this. I would NEVER forget my babies."

"It's true Baby. I was there when it happened," John Ross said.

"Then why didn't you tell me this? Why am I the last one to know? Who stole this from me? I would NEVER forget my babies. I want to remember them. Right now."

"Pamela, it may be for the best-" Dr. Gina began.

"No! It's not for the best! You take this, this block out of my brain right now! Right now! I want to remember them."

"Alright, take a deep breath. Relax. Listen to the sound of my voice. You will remember from the first moment you were aware of them, of being pregnant." She counted backwards. "Now tell me what you feel as the memories come back. Talk to me."

It was a two hour ordeal, her reliving of it all. She spoke about her love for the baby from the very first moment she knew she was pregnant. Then, of finding out they were two and not one. Her humiliation at having a DNA test done, because Christopher didn't believe they were his. The pregnancy had changed her, and she no longer wanted to follow through with the plan. But Tommy wouldn't desist, and became violent. She remembered getting a gun from the bank vault to protect herself. Trying to get him to leave and when he came for her, she remembered pulling the trigger to keep him from beating her and hurting her babies.

Then came the months of disputing with Christopher over the annulment, how that made her feel so alone. And during that time, her daddy was still pressuring her to get the shares of Ewing Energies, when all she wanted was a father like Christopher, that would pay attention to his babies. She didn't want to do anything to jeopardize that.

When she started to remember about the explosion on the rig and being taken to the hospital it became overwhelming. She cried through the telling of it.
The ordeal in the hospital, the operation, the excruciating pain, the fetal monitors running out the clock. The terrible shooting pain of losing her babies.

Then, came the void. Trying to come to grips with the loss. Feeling strangely disembodied and empty.

Her father never came to see her, until he took over Ewing Energies. Now she started wailing, and became nearly incoherent as she recounted finding out that her father had been behind the rig explosion, and later, getting the confirmation that he had known she was on board, that he had knowingly endangered her babies.

"Aaaaaoow oooh," she wailed, hands and hair covering her face.

John Ross started begging the doctor. "That's enough. For God's sake bring her out of this."

"Pamela, listen to me, try to calm yourself, take deep breaths." Doctor Gina woke her from the hypnosis but the moment she was conscious she took in a great breath of air and started crying again, "My babies, he took my babies, oh, oh, oh. Why did he kill my babies? Oh Christopher, he killed our babies."

John Ross was holding her because she seemed to have lost all physical coherence and couldn't even sit upright. He kept saying, "Shshh Baby, don't, it's going to be alright, don't take on like this."

Christopher had hold of her hand, "Pamela, listen. The babies are buried at Southfork. You can visit their graves."

He moved out of the way now, as the assistant came in with a sedative the doctor had ordered for Pamela.

After the shot had been administered the doctor said, "Jonh Ross listen, I'm going to have her admitted. I'm going to need to have her under observation twenty four seven, both for her own sake and for the sake of the baby."

"What's going to happen now?" he asked.

"Now, we wait and see. Either she can bear it or she can't. Time will tell."