So uh... I'm kind of sad that Season Two is over and there will be no more Rebels until fall... What am I saying, I'M VERY SAD! So, I will pay it forward. MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Enjoy.
Summary: When Ezra attempts to open the holocron, he realizes that he is no longer who he once was. Takes place during the holocron scene at the very end of "Twilight of the Apprentice."
Ezra stared at the holocron in his hands, a vacant look in his eyes.
"This is all your fault, you know," a small voice told him.
It was. Everything that had happened happened because he blindly trusted a Sith Lord. A Sith Lord! What was he thinking?
"No one is ever going to forgive you."
Kanan kept telling him that it wasn't his fault. Ezra didn't buy it. If it weren't for him, Ahsoka would still be alive. Kanan would still be able to see. It should have been him. Kanan should have just let go when Vader tried to grab him. He should have just let Vader kill him. Maybe then he could have atoned for what he had done.
"You are a failiure. A mistake."
He once again stared at the pyramid shaped box in his hand. Maul's words echoed in Ezra's head. "To open a Sith Holocron, you must be a Sith...or think like one."
Kanan always told him that once the Dark Side consumed you, the person you once were died, leaving behind a shell.
He was absolutely right.
The Ezra Bridger that everyone knew before Malachor had died. He died alongside Ahsoka, murdered by his guilt and his actions. He was forever changed. He didn't care what happened to him now. He no longer care whether he lived or died. He just wanted to make up for his wrongdoing.
And this was the first step.
Ezra focused on the box in his hand.
He was afraid of who he had become. He was terrified of losing his family. He was afraid of Maul and what he would do to him should he get ahold of him again.
"You're just a sniveling child. Not so brave now are you?"
The box began to float and a cold feeling washed over Ezra's body.
He was angry. Furious even. Why did Kanan have to lose his eyes? Why did Ahsoka have to die? Why did Ezra get out unscathed? Why did everyone have to forgive him? Ezra was angry that he was alive and well. He should have been the one blinded. He should have been the one who died. It was his fault and his alone.
"It should have been you."
The box hovered in front of him. Ezra focused harder.
He hated Yoda for telling him to go to that blasted place. He hated Maul for taking away Kanan's sight and starting all this. He hated Vader for killing Ahsoka. And most of all, he hated himself.
"Your hate towards yourself is justified. You might as well have swung the saber yourself."
The box began to open and Ezra felt colder and colder.
He was suffering, drowning in his guilt. Drowning in who had become. Becoming fully light was impossible. Becoming fully dark was unthinkable. He would have to become both. It was the only way to survive.
Ezra opened his eyes. They flashed red for a moment, before going back to their normal blue.
The holocron opened and a flash of light engulfed the room.
They got the knowledge. Now, Ezra had to atone. No matter what it took, Ezra would make things right.
Kanan didn't need his sight to know Ezra had done it.
He heard the holocron open.
He felt the pain Ezra felt. He felt the darkness inside him.
Kanan turned his head towards where Ezra's presence was faded, tired, muted with sadness and despair. His heart clenched, feeling helpless against Ezra's suffering.
If Kanan's eyes were still in tact, he would have shed a tear.
His shining star had burnt out.
I think I got everyone in the feels. Sorry this is so short. Hopefully the next one will be longer.
Five bread points to whoever can guess where the last sentence came from. (PS. It's in one of my fics). I know the actual terminology is brownie points, but I'm Bread Thief so its going to be bread points. I am going to put a poll up on my profile that will ask which character you want to see featured next. I will gladly welcome suggestions and ideas as I am very prone to writer's block.
Until Next Time!