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Shay boarded the Hogwarts Express with a heart full of fear and anxiety. He was going home to a neglectful, substance addicted mother, an abusive father, and a long list of beatings, chores, and other tortures to endure.

He sat by his window and did nothing but stare at the passing scenery as the train rumbled along on the tracks- back towards King's Cross and Seamus's personal hell.

Shaking his head, Shay knew he couldn't think about this anymore. He retrieved his pocket journal from his jacket and clicked the Muggle pen. Then, he began to write.

My name is Shay

I live down the street from you

I tell you I'm okay

When really, I wish that you knew

My name is Shay

I live in a house of stone and brick

I sit at crossroads, unsure of which is the right way

I sit here, listening to the clock go tick, tick, tick

My name is Shay

I am fading fast

Wondering if I will make it to my eighteenth birthday

Can I keep up this act?

My name is Shay

I am afraid

Living in a world where I can't even pray

All that's left is to pick up the blade

My name is Shay

The poem was not the most depressing he'd written, but it was up there. It exposed everything- from his feelings of unsure of whether or not to tell to his recent suicidal thoughts.

Shay wasn't going to fool himself. Suicide was selfish, but then again, he'd been selfless for as long as he could remember, so didn't he deserve to be selfish just this once? It's not like anyone would miss him...

What about Dean? A voice whispered in the back of his mind.

He doesn't care. At least not anymore, Seamus thought.

His life was crumbling all around him and he couldn't stop it. Besides, even if he didn't off himself, his dad would kill him before he turned eighteen, so what was the point in fighting when he knew he would lose the battle?

"Seamus!" A female voice suddenly gasped from the doorway and Shay snapped the book shut, turning to face the person.

It was Hermione Granger, her hair pinned under a winter hat and an electric blue coat hung over her arm.

"What are you doing here?" She blushed, seemingly realizing how stupid that sounded before amending, "I thought you were staying at Hogwarts."

"Changed my mind," Shay lied. "My uncle's visiting and I wanted to see him. Now, I thought you and the others weren't talking to me."

Hermione shook her head. "Okay, Dean wasn't talking to you. Ron waved you over a couple of times, but you ignored him and that kind of drove a wedge between you two. Harry tried to chase you down, but he could never find you and I really only saw you in the library, but I didn't want another detention with Madame Pince if we caused another spectacle in the library."

Shay nodded in agreement with a small smile.

'She's lying. They just don't like you. She's too nice to just walk away without saying hello. It's not because she likes you. Idiot."

Seamus immediately frowned, unsure of whether or not to believe the voice. After all, it did usually help him out and it rarely lied, but sometimes it got in the way of his concentration and always hurt his feelings. And his Aunt Helen, who died in a car crash three years ago, always told him, 'Don't trust the voices in your head, sweetheart. They're usually just lying scumbags.' But then again, Aunt Helen was kind of... out there, I guess, so it all really boiled down to should he trust the voice or his peculiar aunt's advice?

"Seamus? Earth to Seamus?" Snap! Hermione clicked her fingers in front of her face.

Seamus blushed. He'd been so wrapped up in his own thoughts, he'd totally forgotten Hermione was there.

"Sorry. Well, nonetheless, it's nice to talk to you again," Shay said with a fake smile. It was nice to talk to her again, but did she want to talk to him? Probably not.

"You, too. Could I sit here?" Hermione asked, gesturing to the seat across from him.

Shay was honestly shocked. Didn't she want to leave and go back to her better friends? "Sure... if you want to."

"I do," she stated with a kind smile, seating herself.

"Where's Harry and Ron?" He asked. "Usually you're all connected at the hip."

Hermione giggled. "They're staying at Hogwarts. The Weasleys are visiting their son, Charlie, over the summer, so Ron and his siblings are staying at Hogwarts."

Seamus nodded.

"So how's your year so far?" Hermione asked suddenly.

"Great. I'm excited to be going home though to see my mom and my Uncle Carson," Seamus stated, quickly weaving together a foolproof reply. "What about you?"

"Oh, it's been great!" Hermione gushed. "I love all the new classes, especially Magical Theory and..." Hermione continued to speak and Shay tried to keep up with all her words.

"What's your favorite class?" She suddenly asked him after she'd finished telling him about all the work that was required for arithmacy and Ancient Runes.

"Journalism," Shay replied, gesturing with his journal.

"Really? I never pegged you as a writer."

Shay shrugged. "Neither did I until this year. Do you have any plans for winter break?"

"I'm going skiing with my parents again, but this time we're going to Switzerland. We've only ever been to Colorado, so this is really exciting," she said.

"I can imagine," Shay stated.

Hermione looked out the window. "We should be there any time now, so I better go get ready and say goodbye to Neville, Luna, and Dean."

Shay went rigid at the mention of Dean, but Hermione either didn't notice or pretended not to.

"See you after break, Shay," she called as she exited.

Sure enough, the train pulled into the station less than ten minutes later and Shay hopped off.

He flooed home and stumbled out of the fireplace, coughing up ash and cinder.

As he looked up, he immediately froze at the sight before him.

His father, looking frighteningly enraged, was seated in the armchair while his mother sat on the couch, pouring tea into four cups.

And on the couch beside her was the boy from Seamus's dream.

Shay tried to convince himself that that wasn't possible, but the boy had the same shaggy brown hair and thin, short frame like Seamus. He wore a gray shirt that was way too big on him and dark sweatpants that desperately needed a wash.

"Riley," his father snarled. "Why don't you introduce them?"

"Oh, um, Seamus, we never told you this, but your father had a twin brother, who married and had a child. During November, he and his wife passed away in a car accident, leaving their only child to Sean. Seamus, meet James, your cousin and now, legally, your brother. James, meet our son, Seamus," Riley explained.

"Call me Shay," Seamus said. He didn't know why but he felt very comfortable around James, almost as much as he did with Dean and someday, maybe their bond would be just as strong, or stronger, than his bond with Dean.

"Call me Jamie," the boy repied, shyly.

"I need a smoke," his father suddenly growled, practically leaping out of his seat to retrieve a pack of cigarettes from the counter. "You two, go to Seamus's room and don't come out until I call you," he barked and Shay grabbed Jamie's wrist, leading him up the stairs, dragging his trunk behind him.

Shutting the door behind him, he faced a very nervous looking James.

"Is he always like that?"

Shay smiled, grimly. "Yeah. Welcome to hell, Jamie, but don't worry, I'll protect you from the devil."