A/N - Hope you enjoy this chapter... If you do like it, please review! Also thank you for the reviews so far! I really love to know that people are enjoying my story it always makes me happy :3

Did you ever think I might wanna be with anyone else for just one day?

Effie's POV

I didn't feel like I could deal with it any longer. I hated myself so much now. Why did I have to be such a pathetic excuse for a person? I wanted to tell Haymitch, Katniss and Peeta everything but I couldn't. Katniss and Peeta would probably think I was an even worse person than before and that I had no 'real' problems and Haymitch just didn't care. I didn't need their help, did I? I will reach perfection and I won't let anyone stop me.

It often seemed like I would be on this train forever, and in a way I guess I would. We only had a few more districts to visit until we arrived back at twelve. This year I was still going to call the names at the reaping. I'm not sure I'll be able to do it.

"Not talking much, are you Trinket?" Asked Haymitch. Why was he always out to get me? I wish he had some kind of idea about how I felt but no. All he seemed to care about was alcohol and of course he hated anyone who was from the Capitol. I wish I wasn't one of 'them', everyone always assumes I'm just a fake person with no real emotions. I do wear a lot of makeup but that's because of all the pressure they put on you. I had to be flawless or no one would accept me.

"I was just planning our schedule!" I pretended.

"So typical of a Capitol girl like you, Trinkie.." I had put on an act and faked a smile so much it became natural, although I was dying inside.

"You shouldn't always make assumptions about everyone. We're not all the same." I told him truthfully.

"Yes, but I know you Effie." Haymitch laughed. The less he knows, I thought.

"Wait a minute.. What's that all up your arm?" I had completely forgot tapplied makeup to the fresh cuts from this morning and the ones from last night. Now it was time to think of an excuse. Quick.

"I fell over!" I covered the scars with my hand. I was going to have to keep making up new excuses.

"I was.. Worried for a second.. But then you wouldn't be that type." Haymitch said. That type? I hope he doesn't mean what I think he means... But then I guess I am 'that type'.

"What type?" I asked, faking curiosity.

"You know what I mean, Trinket. That you did it yourself. I mean, I know you're crazy but you wouldn't do that!" I'm not crazy. I'm just... I don't know what I am.. Maybe I should just tell him. Maybe later. But he would judge me for it, I know he would.

"Oh right." I replied quickly. There was no way that my scars could be accidental.

"I just hope you're alright. I always knew you were not just another Capitol clone, really.." Haymitch spoke. That was the nicest thing he'd ever said to me, scratch that, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me. I get compliments all the time in the Capitol but they have no meaning or emotion behind them, they're just thrown around like nothing.

"I am alright." I said.

"That's good. I just hope you're telling the truth." I could tell he wasn't the slightest bit convinced. I was pretty sure he knew what those cuts were.

"Haymitch, trust me! I am telling the truth." I told him.

"I sure hope so, sweetheart." That was the first time he had ever called me that. He usually just referred to me by my last name.

I felt the urge to tell him but I couldn't. I knew he would try to stop me and I wasn't ready to stop. I did deserve it and it was an addiction, I couldn't just stop if someone told me to stop and I wouldn't be able to cope. Just like starving myself, no one could stop me. I was fat, and I needed to reach perfection.

Just then Peeta appeared from the door.

"Hi Effie! I was just looking for Kat- oh wait here she is."

Katniss's POV

"We need to talk." Said Peeta grabbing my arm and dragging me into his cabin. I was pretty sure I knew what this was about.

"Yes?" I asked as I sat down on the soft bed covered in light purple fabric.

"I'm sure you know what this is about."

"It's about Effie again, isn't it?" I questioned him.

"Well yeah.. It is.. You know about all those cuts on her arms, I'm not sure they are ad accidental as she says and she's obviously not eating. You know she could be depressed or something. I care for her and I want her to be okay."

"Look Peeta, you might just be imagining this stuff because you're worried about her. She's probably telling the truth about her arms and she has eaten some things. It is Effie!" I told him. Secretly I couldn't help but fear all the things he said were right.

"Just keep an eye out for her?" Peeta asked.

"Of course!" I smiled as we left the room.

Effie's POV

"Are you alright, Effie?" Asked Katniss. I don't know why people kept asking me these questions. I wasn't alright, but the answer was always yes. I didn't want to be another thing for them to worry about, not that they really did worry about me.

"Yes I'm great thank you!" I gave her a smile.

"Good, good! Would you like me to get you something to eat?" Asked Peeta. I didn't know it was that obvious I wasn't eating. I guess I'd just have to throw it up after.

"Sure!" I answered.

Peeta handed me a small cake. I couldn't stand eating anything in front of people. I was always paranoid thinking they were looking at me and thinking 'She is so fat and disgusting' which is true.

"Thank you so much." I took a small bite, feeling the urge to throw up straight away. I can't remember what it was like to eat food normally without feeling guilty.

"You're welcome!" Said Peeta.

More coming soon :D