11
On the second day of RoI, my true love gave to me:
Two brand new knives!
Zavala walked into the war room with his coffee... to find Cayde-6, Shiro-4, Tevis Larsen, and Andal Brask weeping at Brask's corner of the table. He spit-took.
Tevis swooned against Cayde tragically, while Shiro hummed a solemn requiem, one arm around Brask's shoulders. The Hunter Vanguard was cradling something - two something's - in his arms while crying uncontrollably.
"What the hell is going on here!?" he demanded striding up to the four weeping Guardians.
"GONE! SOILED! RUINED FOREVER! GOOOOOOOONNNNE!" Brask wailed, holding out two melted forms, which seemed to once have been his knives. His heavily-carved, very ornate knives. He dropped them, covered his eyes with one arm, and pointed at the nonchalant Ikora. "It's her fault! She burned them! She BURNED THEM DEEEEEAAAAAD!"
"It would not have happened it you had taken my word for it." She replied calmly. Cayde-6's wailing hitched in response before renewing at a louder decibel. Suddenly, Tevis seemed to collapse in on himself, falling to the floor, where he rocked himself back and forth on his bum, sniffling and blinking and whimpering with his thumb in his mouth. OH FOR GOODNESS SAKES! IT'S JUST A PAIR OF KNIVES!
"You can buy new knives, Andal." he said, taking a deep breath through his nose, drinking in the scent of his coffee-which was getting colder by the second, by the way.
"But not THESE ONES!" the Gunslinger waved the twisted forms in front of Zavala's face. Meanwhile, Tevis fell over, curled up in the fetal position, still sucking his thumb. Cayde threw himself limply onto the table, going 'boneless'. He slowly slid off again, looking up at Zavala silently with pathetic blue optics.
"I can cry for all the world, yet never shed a tear!" he lamented. "So I've decided to just give up crying, and look as pathetic as possible instead."
Shiro-4 patted his fellow exo on the head. "I hear you buddy. I hear ya."
Zavala raised an eyebrow in Ikora's direction skeptically. The Warlock calmly lifted the cloth off of the small pedestal on her end of the table, and blue fire surged up out of it.
"He wished to prove that Gunslinger fire was better than any artificial flame a Warlock could create. I warned him against this, and he refused to believe. Therefor, his knives melted the moment they touched the flames." she explained calmly. Brask let out a strained whimper, which Zavala ignored.
"Guys, guys!" a new Hunter rushed in, carrying a long package.
"OHMYGOSHTHETORTUREISOVER!" Tevis exclaimed suddenly. Cayde seemed to melt completely with a sigh of relief, and Shiro forcefully turned Brask around by the shoulders to face the newcomer, who held out the small box. Shiro tore the lid off, snatched the two new knives from the wrapping, and waved them in Brask's face.
"Dude, these are EXACTLY LIKE YOUR OLD ONES. It's like they never left." he insisted. Brask took the knives up in his hands, and, after a few moments, broke down in tears again.
"THEY LOOK LIKE THE ONE'S I HAD SINCE I WAS REVIVED! THE ONES SHE MELTED!" Ugh, they're just being purposefully ridiculous now. he thought as the Hunter pointed at Ikora accusingly again. Tevis made a frustrated noise, and Shiro-4 facepalmed, while Cayde banged his forehead against the edge of the table, and the new hunter just backed away slowly.
"You know what?" Shiro said suddenly, clapping his hands together. "let's just all go outside and take a breather, right? A quick little walk around the City, maybe a drink of water, perhaps some elephant tranquilizer to top it all off, eh?
"Yea." Tevis and Cayde both chorused, raising their hands, Cayde allowing his own to fall back down limply onto the table with a bang. Shiro gripped Brask by the shoulders firmly, and began to lead the Hunter Vanguard away.
"Right! That's a plan! See you later, Commander, we gotta split." he said hastily, pushing past the Titan Awoken with his friend up front. He leant in close to whisper in his ear as he passed. "Trust me, you know it's for the best for all of us."
Tevis and Cayde left behind them. On his way past Zavala, Cayde pat him on the shoulder cheerily. "See ya' round, papa smurf."
"What did you just call me?" he growled menacingly, leaning his face in so that he was none-to-nose with the Exo.
"N-nothing! Nothing! Ha ha!" he backed away, hands raised innocently. "Yeeeeaah... goodbye."
Zavala grumbled under his breath as the Exo dashed away after his fellow Hunters.
Shiro-4 fist-bumped the two Hunters on either side of him, Tevis smirking smugly, and Cayde pulling his hood up in what was meant as a rougish-looking manor. Brask turned and glared at them all.
"THAT," he said slowly,"was the most self-degrading thing I've ever done in my ENTIRE. LIFE."
"Ugh, speak for yourself!" Tevis protested. "I was the one who had to curl up like a baby!"
"Pretending to feel sorry for your fake knives, THAT was self-degrading!" Cayde agreed.
"This had better be worth it." Brask growled begrudgingly, though they could all see the gratefulness in his eyes. Cayde vaulted over the pilot seat, ans snuggled into it. He looked over his shoulder playfully.
"Well, then, captain; where to first?"
BE FREE, BRASK!
I was listening to "Dirty Paws" for a majority of writing this; it just fits Hunters so well for some reason!
*clutches heart*
Someone REVIEWED my fanfiction!? That NEVER happens!
Keep em' coming, folks! I will be thanking you, yes?
Read and REVIEW! *might as well make that my sign-off*