A/N - Thank you so much, anonymous Hayffie reviewer, your review made me so happy :) keep on reviewing guys! And I promise the next chapter will be a little more interesting :D

Did you ever think it might be your fault, and never promised anymore?

Effie's POV

The reaping had been hard and painful. But it was over. I was now on a train on my way to the Capitol with Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch. I couldn't believe they were going back into the games, it was all too much for me and after the reaping I had cut my arm so deep I passed out. Luckily no one found me or I might've had to confess what I had done.

I knew there was no hope for Katniss and Peeta now, they would have to fight against the other victors, who were probably much more experienced. And it's all your fault you pathetic bitch it should be you dying, not them, the voices kept returning and every time I felt the urge to cut or throw up.

"Effie. We need to talk." I heard Haymitch's voice from behind me. He had only started addressing me by my first name since he suspected I was cutting myself. I knew what this would be about, he had seen my most recent cut.

"Yes?"

"Okay.." He said, once we had entered my cabin "You can't keep on lying to me! I know what you're doing! I don't want you ending your life this soon..."

"For the last time. I do not cut myself if that's what you're thinking!" I said, a lump forming in my throat. How much longer could I convince him? Not that he was convinced anyway.

"If you're not going to admit it to me then you won't get any help." He told me.

"I have nothing to admit to! I wish you would just leave me alone. Some things are nothing to do with you... I have a personal life you know!"

"Please tell the truth." He said, worried. I couldn't tell him. He would tell Katniss and Peeta.. They would tell me I had nothing wrong with my life and I was doing it for attention. Haymitch might try to get me to stop, but I couldn't just stop, it was an addiction.

"I am telling the truth! What do you want me to say? I am cutting myself? I'm not!" I cried. I couldn't hold in the tears anymore.

"Then please explain where the cuts came from.."

"I already told you this... I fell over.." I replied. I wasn't able to think of a better excuse, I couldn't say it was a cat because Haymitch knew I didn't have a cat.

"I guess I'll have to believe you. If you won't confess." Haymitch sighed, leaving the room.

He doesn't care! Just cut yourself now, you're so pathetic, fat and worthless, I had to now, to get the voices to stop. I scratched my arms with my long nails as I didn't want to go to the bathroom. That was one of the good things about wearing fake nails.

I felt like I was about to faint for a second, then I remembered I haven't eaten anything for the last two days, and I hadn't kept anything down for the last three weeks. That was great, I was on my way to perfection, although I was still too fat. Do I have an eating disorder? I don't know... But if it's helping me get thinner then it's obviously a good thing.

I walked out of the room, after re-applying my heavy makeup.

"I've had a thought.." I announced.

"You don't say.." Smirked Haymitch. He always acted different whenever there were other people around, which irritated me.

"Well I have my hair and Katniss has her pin.. I'm going to get you two boys something gold to show them we are a team." I smiled. I wish the gamedissent have to get in the way of everything. I couldn't cope with losing Katniss and Peeta...

Haymitch noticed how upset I was and reached out his hand to hold onto mine.

Haymitch's POV

I didn't care about Effie... Did I? Well I thought I didn't, why am I suddenly so bothered by all of this? If it was last year I wouldn't be so concerned about her. No! I haven't got any feelings for Effie.. She's from the Capitol! She supports the games! But I knew she wasn't really like that.

But I couldn't just let Effie destroy herself like this... Yeah, she was Effie Trinket, the snobby escort, but she was hurting herself. I was almost one-hundred percent sure...

Effie's POV

After explaining the basics of the new training centre and the Quarter Quell, I left the room. I knew they were all blaming me in their head and so would I if I were one of them. It was all my fault.

When I reached the bathroom, I grabbed my razor and pulled it across my wrist to numb the pain of knowing I was about to lose two of the people I cared for most.

I could see my reflection in the mirror and it wasn't me. I was a fake person now, I was hidden under layers of makeup. My legs were huge and I would never reach the Capitol standards.. I had to keep on starving.

If only I was flawless and perfect like all those models in the Capitol. But I was disgusting..

"Effie! Are you alright?" Haymitch asked as soon as I left the bathroom.

"Of course I'm alright.."

"You were half an hour in there!"

"I was having a shower." I lied. If this was Katniss or Peeta, he wouldn't be asking these questions.

*Later that day*

We had finally arrived at the Capitol. Our room was so beautiful and the room was amazing, but I wish I was happy enough to care. It was now time for the tribute parade, if only I was happy enough to appreciate it. Not that it's a good thing. Not that anything related to the games was a good thing.

Cinna had designed more amazing costumes for Katniss and Peeta, and the parade was about to begin.

At least in the Capitol people were more unassuming and fell for anything.. I wouldn't get any questions about the marks on my arm from the heavily made-up people around me.

The parade began, and as usual all the tributes costumes looked beautiful and Katniss and Peeta looked even better than last year. But I kept feeling as if I was about to pass out.

"Effie have I told you how bad you look today?" Joked Haymitch who was sitting next to me in the audience. If only he knew the damage comments like that did to me. I had changed out of my gold themed outfit and now was wearing a purple dress.

"No. But I didn't need to know that either."

"Aww.. Sorry sweetheart, didn't mean to hurt your feelings." Looks like he had gone back to his usual self.

"That's fine." I said, gritting my teeth.

"I was just saying you would look a lot better with all the makeup."

"You say that a lot but ever thought that I might be insecure about the way I look?" I admitted.

Haymitch's POV

I like Effie. I can't stop thinking about her. I should be focusing on the tribute parade but she was distracting me.. If only I could let her know about the rebellion. But would she be against it? I don't know..

I can't like Trinket. But I do.

Effie's POV

It was 7:00 pm and we were just served dinner. I couldn't remember the last time I ate food normally without feeling guilty or throwing up after. I only picked up a leaf of lettuce, I hated all food, but eating something 'healthy' didn't make me feel as bad.

Most people think that people in the Capitol never went hungry and ate whatever food they wanted. Maybe that was the case for other people, but I guess I'm an exception.

"Wow Effie.. That's not much." Stated Haymitch.

"I'm just feeling nauseous from the train ride." I replied. If only that was the truth. If only I could eat whatever I wanted and stay stick thin.. But no, I had to be fat.

"Yeah so was I." Said Katniss. That may convince him.. For now.

"So we've got yet another big day scheduled for tomorrow! You will begin training at 7:30 am so be prepared!" I told Katniss and Peeta with a fake smile on my face

"Yeah." That was the last thing I heard before my vision became blurry and I blacked out.