Waking up the next morning was one of the weirdest moments of my life. The memory of me sucking Kenny's dick resurfaced quickly and I felt shame like I had never felt before. I could not believe Kenny actually got me to suck him off and I immediately feared that he had let my secret out anyway. My paranoia got the best of me and I looked at my phone to see if anyone had messaged me. To my relief, no one had which slightly eased my fears. I was so caught up in my first sexual experience that I let Kenny do practically whatever he wanted to me. It was my fault that I was such a stupid slut and I should have fought and protested more than I did. I can tell myself that I wanted the process to be over with as soon as possible, but I knew how these things worked and Kenny would keep fucking with me until I found a way out of this. I hated that at the time part of me was actually wanting to suck his dick and now he knew that as well. I had thoroughly humiliated myself in front of Kenny because I could not keep my feelings under control. Luckily Kenny had not messaged me so I clung on to the hope that he was done with me, and I would not have to worry about behaving like some whore in front of him ever again.
I got ready for school like I normally did. I felt an unusual amount of depression and shame throughout my early morning preparations. I think yesterday had to have been the most regretful thing I have ever done in my life, and it did not help that Kenny was the one who had caused and witnessed it. I almost felt like I could not breathe at certain moments. I tried to keep my emotions hidden like I usually did, but I felt myself slipping and feared I would break down in tears or have a fit of anger at any moment. I was mad at Kenny for what he had made me do, and myself for actually doing it. While I ate breakfast with my mom and brother I tried to calm down and not think about what happened yesterday so I would not be asked any questions. I failed though because my mom seemingly took notice of my mood.
"Are you okay bubala," My mom asked with her voice filled with concerned.
"Yea," I reply meekly,"I am fine."
"Are you sure," My mother asks caringly.
"Yea,"Ike interjects after taking notice of my mood," You sound like someone you loved just died."
"I'm fine,"I insist fighting back the waves of emotions I am feeling,"I just had trouble sleeping."
"Ok baby," My mom says clearly not entirely convinced of what I just told her.
Ike just gives me a look I do not understand when I notice Token's limo pull up. I bid my family farewell as I leave the kitchen. I feel some paranoia resurface as I fear either Token or Stan had been tipped off about what I had done with Kenny yesterday. My fears dissipate as I get into the limo and the ride proceeds as it usually did. I thought after my secret had been discovered by someone that life going on as it usually did was weird, but this was a whole new level of fucked up. It almost felt like the universe itself was taunting me. I had sucked another guy off and had him blow his load on my face and my life was still just going on like it normally did. I always imagined the second I gave into my desires in any form that my life would be over. I thought that if my secret got out my life would just end, but here I was riding to school like I normally did. It almost made me feel angry that no one seemed to know or care about what I was going through. The ride went on for a bit and Stan suddenly started talking.
"So what do you guys have planned for thanksgiving," Stan asked.
"I'm going over to visit my girlfriends family for thanksgiving," Token responded in an exhausted voice.
"Ummm," I say unsure of what I plan to do," Not sure yet."
"Well Wendy is going to be busy with the school Thanksgiving event all day," Stan added as he yawned,"you're on the committee as well so are you going to be busy with it all day as well?"
"Probably not," I respond.
I feel a lot more comfortable now that Stan and Token are just chatting with me like they usually do. I keep trying to forget about what I did yesterday, but it is extremely difficult. Before we can continue our conversation we pull up into the school's driveway and depart from the Limo. I already ate breakfast at home today so I do not go to eat with Wendy and Stan this morning. I mostly just sit around in the schools center area where they have some seats for people to sit on during the morning all around. I look around reluctantly and am relieved to see that I can not spot Kenny anywhere. It appears he has chosen not to come to school today, or at least not on time. I usually do not like being by myself but in my current mindstate, I definitely want some time to my own thoughts. Although hearing the usual tone of conversation with Stan was nice, it was still very uncomfortable to be around a guy I have had feelings towards for so long now that I have given a guy head before. I try to stop thinking like some slut but I can not help it. Now that I have had some sexual experience I can not help but think way more about how Stan would feel in my mouth. I was so ashamed for having these thoughts so blatantly. In the past, I had only thought about it with a sense of bashfulness and now I felt so dirty.
I went through my morning classes like I usually did. A couple of my teachers noticed my drastic change in mood and had asked me privately what was wrong. Normally I was one of the first kids to ask questions and was always aware of what was going on, but now I was spaced out and only half paying attention to what the teachers were saying. It only bothered me that much more that what happened between me and Kenny was now affecting how I behaved in class, which in turn only got me to think about what happened even more. I told the teachers I was not feeling well and left it at that. Luckily none of the teachers felt like pressing the topic any further. I hoped Stan and Token had not noticed how I was feeling earlier. I did not need everyone having some form of intervention. I was fine I just needed some time to process what had just happened and try to avoid Kenny for the rest of my life.
Gym was unusually awkward for me. I have always been uncomfortable around other guys when they were changing, but with what happened yesterday I was feeling even more uncomfortable. I hated that part of me wanted to do more stuff like I did yesterday and felt ashamed. I had to fight back blushing as I made my way to the stalls and quickly changed. I hurried out of the locker room not bothering to talk, look, or acknowledge anyone else. I did not want to make how I was apparent to the guys in the locker room. I could not give into my desires ever again if I wanted to keep my dignity and emotions under control. I began to loathe Kenny and myself even more after I finally escaped the locker room.
After Coach made sure no one was still playing around in the locker room he made us do some stretches. Afterwards, he took us outside and explained we were playing football outside. For the most part, I was alieved because Stan would be preoccupied taking the game a little too seriously with his football team buddies he was with, but part of me wished he would console me and ask what was wrong. I knew I would not be able to handle it if Stan began prodding at what was wrong with me, so it was just wishful thinking that he could make me feel any better by talking to me.
The football game was pretty boring and ill-advised. Instead of dividing us up into teams the coach just kept two teams of people going against each other while everyone else walked around the football field. Occasionally he would swap it up and let a few people into one of the teams and force a few out, but for the most part, he had his dream teams going against each other. The students who were on the football team never were called off one of the teams to start walking, and that did include Stan. I noticed occasionally Clyde would stare at me for a bit when I glance at him. He was kept in the game about half of the time, but even when he was playing I would still catch him glancing at me. I should be feeling dirty for thinking about what I would like to do to guys, but for some reason, Clyde felt different. I actually did not feel ashamed and I did not know if it was because he was the one staring at me or if it was because I was just accepting who I was, but I could not do what I did with Kenny with anyone else. I had to stop caring about the possibility of Clyde, Stan, or anyone ever being into me, because if I did not then I would have to feel this way all over again would I not? Gym ended and I was in and out of the locker room before anyone really took notice.
I then headed towards the cafeteria for lunch and was relieved to see that Kenny still was not there. I did not know how I would feel seeing Kenny in a public place after what had happened and I did not want to figure out. I sat down after preparing my food and began eating. I was trying my best to just focus on eating when someone approached me.
"Hey Kyle," he said.
I looked up to see Craig Tucker standing to my right side. I remembered he and Kenny hung out sometimes and immediately feared that Kenny had told him about me.
"What do you want," I ask.
"What is going on with you and Kenny," Craig asks his with expression unchanging.
"What do you mean," I counter fearfully.
"Well one you got him lunch yesterday," Craig pointed out," and two he texted me that you two were catching up on old times when I called him yesterday."
I felt my skin grow cold. I was relieved that Craig's knowledge seemed limited, but the fact that Kenny felt confident enough to tell someone he and I were hanging out worried me. Everyone knew how Kenny and I were so it would definitely appear strange to anyone to hear the two of us were hanging out, and I had gotten lunch for him.
"Umm,"I say trying to come up with a response,"We were just hanging out is all," I lie.
"Yeah right," Craig says skeptically,"You two have not gotten along in forever."
I just roll my shoulders and get back to eating hoping he will leave me alone.
"Seriously Kenny almost missed work yesterday and I had to call to remind him," Craig added," What were you two up to that had Kenny pissed at me for interrupting."
"Look I don't have time to deal with a hundred questions leave me alone Craig," I snap.
Suddenly I feel myself being yanked up by Craig's strong arms and he grips me and turns me around until we are face to face.
"Listen I don't care if you and Kenny are sucking each other's dick like homo's,"Craig snarls,"But Kenny has been through a lot and does not need some spoiled brat distracting him from his job."
I feel fear with being handled so roughly. Craig looks like he really is pissed at me and I just close my eyes and flinch up.
"Alright just let me go," I plead.
Suddenly a teacher notice and threatens Craig to let me go or else. Craig lets me go and walks away. The teacher asks if I am alright and I tell him I am fine. The students at the nearby table are staring and whispering to each other. Craig just goes back to where his usual spot is and sits down. I notice Tweek looking like he is about to have a panic attack before Craig calms him down. I feel like Craig actually believes me and Kenny are fucking and he does not want someone he associates himself to be labeled a fag. I feel ashamed and insulted that Craig feels like I would be a bad influence on Kenny when one, he is the one forcing me to suck his dick, and two, I was doing much better than he was in far as live decisions were concerned. I had no idea Craig hated gays so much but seeing how he just talked to me it was apparent. It was weird considering he and Tweek were once in a form of relationship back in elementary school. Maybe he hated being forced into a relationship with another guy but adults in the town and has just manifested to hatred towards gay people altogether. Whatever the case I had to be sure to avoid Craig in the future. I hated him just as much as he hated me for what I could not control.
I went through the rest of my classes until I made it to the afterschool South Park High Thanksgiving Dinner Committee meeting. Wendy and a few others were already in the chairs waiting to discuss who would be doing what during the event. The meeting was about as normal as it always was and I had my thoughts on much more pressing issues then who would greet the families at the door. By the time the meeting was wrapping up I had been assigned to manage the sitting arrangement of the family's and Students who showed up with two other Committee members. Wendy would be supervising the whole thing and would probably spend all evening cleaning up afterwards and taking stock of what food was leftover. The survey would be mandatorily taken by classes tomorrow morning to see who was the meeting concluded and I went to walk out I was stopped by Wendy.
"Hey, Kyle on Thursday there will be only two or three kids helping me clean up and I was wondering if you could help," Wendy asked politely.
My mind was worried about something else entirely but I decided to answer Wendy's question.
"I do not know," I answer loosely as I go to walk out again.
"Well are you busy on Thursday," Wendy persisted.
"I might be,"I say as I walk out into the hallway only to be continuously followed by Wendy.
"Well I need to know this so I know whether or not to try and get someone else to help me," Wendy says in a slightly irritated voice.
"I don't know if I want to spend all Thanksgiving cleaning up after a bunch of people," I state.
"Look, Kyle," Wendy tells me in a super serious tone," The principal will be there later on to check on how the even went, and I have heard that those she sees helping with clean up after the events usually have an increased chance of joining the SPFAC."
I pause for a moment. The SPFAC or South Park Faculty Assistants Club are a group chosen by the principal who gets certain privileges that other students do not. Not only does it look good for colleges it also gives you other perks with certain teachers. Some teachers will not care if you come in a little late so long as you get good grades, and other teachers are more likely to take interest in your plans for your future. I knew I would be a part of that group eventually during my time at this school but to be hearing about it so soon made me ecstatic.
"You know what,"I say,"I will go unless something comes up."
"Good," Wendy says smiling brightly,"See you later Kyle."
I was happy that Wendy cared enough about me to let me in on this plan of hers. I was so hopeful that the both of us would be accepted into the SPFAC and was happy to have her as a friend. Even if she did have Stans' heart I did care for her. I was so glad that I was able to forget about Kenny if only for a moment. I just hoped he continued his trend and did not come to school on Wednesday.
The next day I was sitting in my first class of the day and that was advanced algebra. The rest of the class had gone to take the survey but I did not have to because I was on the committee. I was relieved this morning when there was no sight of Kenny during breakfast. Stan had asked me if I was feeling ok yesterday which made me happy that he cared but worried he would get too nosy. I told him I was feeling sick but now I was better and he left it alone. Soon the students came back and the class resumed. I went through my morning classes feeling better than I did yesterday. Kenny had not made any attempt to contact me and I felt like he had finally moved on. I was still worried about Craig but he had not made any further threat against me.
Once again it was time for me to go to the gym. I had a lot on my mind and as usual, I got to the stall where I changed before the locker room became crowded. I should be happy that I had a chance to join SPFAC so early, but I could not get over Kenny and what had happened. The worst part about it was that I wanted more cock. I knew I was going to have to push back those desires if I wanted to have any future outside of having sex all the time. That was what Kenny had done with his life. I suddenly remembered that he had a job and wondered how he found time to make it to his job with all the fucking he did.
I change into my gym clothes quickly and was exiting the stall when all of the sudden I felt myself being pushed back into the stall. Some guy had pushed me and I fell backwards onto the toilet. I heard him locking the stall door and immediately feared it was someone who wanted to kick my ass for whatever reason. When I looked at this guy I quickly recognized the orange parka and realized Kenny had once again shown up unexpectedly. He looked me in the eyes and gave me a mean spirited smirk as he ruffled my hair. I pulled away from his touch immediately feeling the memories of what had previously happened to me resurfacing. I remembered how it felt when he dry humped against my ass cheeks and how it felt when I crawled on my knees all over his greasy garage just to suck his salty dick. I remembered how it felt when he jizzed all over my face and I immediately started blushing. I hid my face in my arms as I tried to forget Kenny was even there. It stopped working when he began speaking.
"What the hell are you doing," He said chuckling at what I guess he thought was a funny pose.
"What are you a baby,"He said mockingly.
"just leave," I demand.
"If I close my eyes and pretend Kenny isn't there then he will disappear," Kenny said attempting to mimic my voice in a mocking tone.
"I don't want to talk to you right now," I state bitterly as I go to walk past him.
He grabs roughly and pecks my forehead. I look at him for a moment just to see the same mean-spirited mocking smile plastered to his face. I pushed away from him as he laughed at my feeble attempts to escape him. I hated feeling like I did not have control over a situation. It made me feel weak and powerless and embarrassed me. It also made me feel emotions I did not want to acknowledge.
"Look, girl," Kenny said raising his eyebrow," I understand you are coming to terms with being a cock whore, but right now all I want is a quick blowjob and I will be set."
"Hell no," I say in a loud voice,"I am not going through this again."
"Look, Kyle," Kenny says in an irritated voice,"This girl I was supposed to meet here at this damned school flaked on me, and then I remembered that you were an option and decided to give you some more of what I know you love."
"I don't love you," I spit at him in a disgusted tone.
"Yea I know, but you love my meat," Kenny says in a lecherous tone as he grips his crotch suggestively.
"Look I'm not in the mood to blackmail you," Kenny says,"So just blow me so I can leave this shithole."
"No," I say in defiance.
"Fine let's do this the hard way," Kenny grumbles.
I try to struggle as Kenny forces me onto my knees with one hand and fishes his cock out of his pants with the other. He begins rubbing it on my face and I struggle not to fall into a trance, but I know I do want to suck the large rod being presented in front of me. I know I should not give into this again, but his cock is so large and plum that I can not resist. I take the tip of his cock in my mouth and began sucking. I knew I should yell rape or try harder to flee, but I did not want the increasing amount of guys outside to think I was weird. Kenny did have evidence that I was gay so what choice did I really have in the end. I know I was only justifying sucking Kenny off again, and that I was so dick crazy that I would suck off someone like Kenny. I felt ashamed of myself as I heard guys talking in the background. Part of me wished they would all line up to feed me their dicks, but I knew I needed to fight off those desires. I was already giving Kenny head again and from the looks of it, he was enjoying it. I was not sure if Kenny got off more on the sensation of having his dick sucked or the fact that it was someone he despised was doing it. Honestly, it was probably both, knowing how Kenny was, and I just took more of his dick in my mouth.
"There's a good girl," Kenny cooed as he began thrusting.
He forced more and more of his large cock down my throat. I began gagging and trying to back off his cock to catch some air, but Kenny grabbed my head and held it in place as he began thrusting his cock in and out of my mouth. I tried backing up but soon felt the back of my head hit the wall of the stall. Kenny forced his cock deep into my throat despite my gurgled protest as I started to tear up. He was not even looking at me at this point as he fucked my face. He had his legs on either side of my face as he fucked my face against the wall and he was soon moaning and panting. My throat was sore from the constant gagging, but there was no sign of relieve as he sped up and went balls deep down my throat. I felt his plump balls resting on my chin begin to spasm. My nose was pressed into his pubic hair and I got a good whiff of his teenage hormones. Suddenly he came in my throat and I felt it surging through his cock and filling my belly. He began pulling out of my throat only to shoot his last few loads into my mouth.
"Hope you like the taste slut," He moaned into my ear,"I enjoyed feeding ya."
I went to spit his cock out of my mouth only to have him stop me.
"Clean me off first," He demanded.
I licked around his cock head getting all the semen off of it and his shaft as he patted my head almost affectionately. Without thinking, I swallowed the rest of his salty load.
"Oh wow," Kenny said bemused," You like the taste of my cum too huh."
"What no I.,"I say in a flustered voice.
"Relax I already know you're a cock whore and I plan to feed you more often," Kenny said playfully.
"Just leave me the fuck alone," I demand as I begin fighting back tears.
"No," Kenny says bitterly," You always act like your better than me even though your the one who likes to suck cock."
I turn away from Kenny not wanting to look at him.
"You should just be grateful that I don't out you to everyone including your boy crush Stan," Kenny said in a threatening voice.
"Fuck you," I whisper.
I stay frozen in the same spot for a couple moments before suddenly I hear the stall door being pushed against. The weak latch lock snaps off and Clyde comes tumbling into my surprise. I immediately fear that my life is over when I notice that Kenny has vanished. I look and see his shoes in the neighboring stall. I guess he crawled out like he did last time. Clyde looks embarrassed when he sees me hunched over in the opposite corner of the stall.
"Oh shit sorry Kyle," Clyde said,"you're usually gone by now."
I blushed as my eyes met with Clyde's and I quickly got up and hid my arousal between my legs. Clyde seemed to notice how disturbed I looked because his face immediately turned to that of concern.
"Dude are you okay," Clyde asked,"You look like you just got molested."
I could not believe how observant Clyde was and immediately felt embarrassed that it was so obvious what had just happened. I had to lie though because I was too embarrassed by the idea of anyone knowing what Kenny had been doing to me. The fact that I had just had my mouth used by Kenny did not help me feel any more comfortable.
"I'm fine," I say," I just was in a hurry to get out of here."
"Ok man," Clyde said,"Oh yeah and take this."
Clyde handed me a small candy looking thing and I took it reluctantly and gave him a confused look. For a moment I thought he smelled Kenny's loud on my breath and was about to freak out before he explained.
"Your voice sounded a little sore," He said with a shrug.
I was relieved before I realized Kenny's fucking of my throat had made it sore and was filled with embarrassment once more. I blushed and quickly walked out of the stall leaving Clyde to play around with his friends. Clyde had just given me a confused look of his own as he watched how quickly I walked out of the locker room. I heard the coach yelling for the kids to get out of the locker rooms so I hurried along. I put the cough drop in my mouth and hoped it would disguise the smell of cum coming from it so I would not have to suffer any further humiliation. Fortunately, Kenny had seemingly disappeared because I did not see him during the rest of gym class. It felt maddening to have someone just show up and molest my face just to have them disappear as if nothing had happened.
I waited in fear and embarrassment as I went through the rest of my school day. The thought of Kenny popping up out of nowhere asking for another blowjob terrified me, and although I hate to admit it part of me was aroused by the idea. I had to fight these desires off before I make an even bigger fool of myself. I had already given into them again when Kenny showed up in my stall and now I had virtually no confidence that I could turn Kenny down if he asked me to do anything sexually motivated with him. I was a whore and I knew deep down it would come back to bite me in my ass.
As I made it to my last class I was relieved to see Kenny was not there. Luckily Craig had also not gotten into any further altercations with me. So I was feeling somewhat relieved. Deep down though my mind and body were in a frenzy. I kept thinking back to what Kenny had made me do in the locker room. I worried that someone might have seen or heard us and would soon be spreading gossip around about the red headed whore who blew Kenny Mccormick. I hoped Clyde had not noticed anything incriminating when he was pushed through the stall door by one of his 'friends', but part of me almost wanted him to see what a slut I was. It was perverted and humiliating and I had to keep myself under control. I have always believed in mind over matter and I was just gonna have to stand strong against these urges I was having.
Later on in the afternoon, I was at my house winding down after getting home from school. Usually, I would be looking up porn on my computer by now, but recent events had put me out of the mood. I was feeling pent up because I had not ejaculated in a while, but remembering what had been recently happening between me and Kenny immediately shut down any will I had to masturbate.
Tomorrow was thanksgiving and was a big day for me. I could stay with Wendy even after I was done with my assignment and hope to get into the principal's good graces. That would make me happy and hopefully give me something to distract myself with so I could stop thinking about Kenny's cock.
Suddenly my phone vibrated and I picked it up to see I had gotten a message from Stan.
Hey, Wendy won't be showing up to my families or hanging out with me later tomorrow, So I was wondering if you wanted to hang out some?
I felt butterflies in my stomach as I read the message. I was so happy that he finally was asking me to hang out in Wendy's stead. I was kind of upset that it was only because she had turned him down. She had chosen to pursue her furthering her education rather than spending time with Stan, and honestly, I was not sure if I should follow her lead or not. Stan only ever wanted to hang out with me when Wendy was doing something else. Even though my obsession with Stan had grown over the years and even now I love him in so many different ways I am unsure if I even should go to Stan's for thanksgiving. I had waited years of my life for him to take interest in me and he clearly was never going to do so. After what has happened between me and Kenny I was feeling really embarrassed that I ever thought Stan would take interest in me. I was a slut and I am sure Stan would be disgusted by me if he found out about my true nature.
Suddenly my phone once more buzzed letting me know someone else had messaged me. This time, it was from Kenny.
Yo, I need you to come over here tomorrow sweety, I wanna give your ass what it's been cravin ;)
Kenny's message had the opposite effect on me and I felt a mixture of shame, fear, and unfortunately lust. I hated to admit it but part of me was sexually thrilled at the idea of letting Kenny have his way with me again. I think that years of holding back my sexuality was causing my lust to overflow like a water from a dam that just burst. It was weird but me suddenly acting on some of my urges was causing me to see my relationship with Stan differently. Originally I had a typical romantic interest with Stan, but now that I had some sexual experiences with someone, albeit someone I sort of despised, I was beginning to realise how stupid I was to just wait for Stan to suddenly develop a gay side. I did not want to spend thanksgiving with Kenny out of fear of furthering my embarrassment. I had already behaved like a slut for Kenny's enjoyment and I think I needed to put a stop to that. I know Kenny will probably blackmail me, but maybe I could just try to ignore him and not respond to him till he forgets about me and goes back to fucking trashy girls. Honestly, though I was unsure of how I was gonna deal with Kenny.
I then realized I had basically four options for what to do after I was done with the thanksgiving event tomorrow. I could do what would be best for my future and help Wendy pick up after the event. I could spend another day hoping Stan will suddenly develop romantic feelings for me, or maybe it would just be spending time with someone who I considered to be my best friend. I could also go to that party that Clyde had invited me to, although I was unsure of what his feelings were for me I could at least give a relationship that was not tainted by hatred or friendship a chance. Then the option that I was almost sure I was going to be coerced into one way or the other. Which was going to Kenny's house after the event. I may be a cock whore like Kenny described but I think I needed to at least restore some of my dignity. Would ditching Kenny tomorrow do that or would it only push Kenny to ruin my life. Which would fuck up my chances with pretty much everything in life. I guess I would have to wait to see what happens Thanksgiving.