I woke up the next day with a slight headache. I remembered I had drank for the first time ever the night prior and figured that was the cause. I remembered having fun but a lot of the specifics of what had happened last night escaped me. I had school today and I had never been more tempted to skip in my entire life. I looked over at the clock to discover I had woken up a half hour later than I usually did. I could make it to school still, but it would be cutting it close.

As I hurry to get ready I get lost in thought as I recall what happened last night. I glance behind my bed and check to see if the thong is still there. I had decided last night that I needed to keep better track of them so I had stuffed them under my mattress behind my bed. I was relieved that in my drunken state I had left them where I intended to. I had such a great time with Clyde and the other kids. I would not even consider the few time I had to kiss girls to be too bad, and making out with Clyde more than made up for it. Looking back on the strip spin the bottle game we played I could not help but imagine if I had been forced to strip down to my thong in front of all those people. The thought excited my perverted little mind as I fantasized about Clyde catching me such a naughty thing. I was somewhat worried about Alexis seeing Clyde and me going in for an embrace. Maybe she thought nothing of it but if she did then she could easily spread rumors due to her popularity. From what I heard she usually left sophomores and freshmen alone when it came to shit talking and I just had to hoped she stayed true to that.

I went downstairs after preparing for school and went to eat the breakfast my mom had prepared when I hear a honking outside. I realized I was going to have to eat breakfast at school as I waved goodbye to my mother and brother and went outside to catch my ride to school. Once I got into Token's limo I noticed Stan looking more awake than usual and Token was sleeping by the look of things.

"Hey," Stan greeted.

"Hey," I said back.

"I noticed you have not read any of my messages since yesterday,"Stan pointed out,"What were you doing?"

Stan's sudden question caught me off guard. I was not used to being interrogated so early and I was still recovering from the partying I had done last night. Once I had decided to go to the party I put my phone on mute so I would not notice if Kenny messaged me, I guess I forgot that I would be unaware if anyone else tried messaging me as well. I perhaps got a little too caught up in expressing my opposition to Kenny that I failed to realize that I was cutting myself off from everyone else at that moment.

It had been worth it, though. I still remember watching the fireworks with Clyde fondly last night. Honestly, if I had not decided to go to school today I might have stayed at the party longer, but even I had my limits and skipping school was a no go. Clyde seemed slightly upset at me leaving but seemed to understand. It was the kind of feelings I wish Stan would convey to me. Although, he did seem like he wanted to see me yesterday so maybe I should not be so tough on Stan for not behaving like a love interest, and instead just accept him as my best friend and leave it at that.

"Oh sorry I went to a party," I answered honestly.

"Really," Stan said surprised.

"yep," I confirm.

"Whose party," Stan questioned.

Stan and I went back and forth for a while as I explained to him that I had gone to Alexis's party and had fun with the people there. I did not feel comfortable with telling Stan I had drunk last night. He had asked me to drink with him in the past and I had turned him down adamantly so I did not want him to feel jealous that I just went out and did it on a whim. I also left most of the parts about Clyde out only mentioning that he was there as well. I told him I watched some fireworks and that was it. Judging by the way he reacted to the conversation he was mostly ok, but he did seem a little jealous and I could not help but feel like I had betrayed him in a way. I did not want to be mean but just like me, when he ditched me for Wendy, he would have to move past it. Stan did seem contempt and stopped asking me questions as we neared the school.

Suddenly I received a text message from Kenny and I immediately knew what it was going to be about. I also realized that Kenny had sent me an entire series of messages last night along with Stan. I decided to check the old messages first to gauge how he was feeling. The oldest one that went unreceived by myself I opened first.

Hurry up and head on over

I knew it was only going to get worst as I read the messages in order.

It's eleven and you aren't here sucking my dick, what's going on?

I could not believe how arrogant Kenny was as I read on.

Ok it says you aren't even gettin these u better not be ignoring me

Seriously where the fuck are you Kyle?

Ok bitch do what you want tonight, I got your number, and to think I was going to start easing up on you.

I seriously doubted Kenny had any intention of 'easing up' on me. He was getting way to much joy out of my torment. I continued reading the last few messages he had sent me.

I heard you went to a party, probably sucked a lot of cock there huh princess.

Yea I probably done got you addicted and you needed more

Fucking gay ass slut

Fuck it im gonna go to bed if you don't answer me tomorrow I guess I will stop by school and give you another snack.

I was now done with all the messages he had sent me last night now I just had to read the one he had just sent me. I was honestly regretting going to the party a little. Not because I actually believed Kenny would lighten up, but rather I had no idea he would take such heavy offense to me no showing up to his place. I guess he had a sense of pride or at least disliked not getting to nut inside someone. With baited breath, I read Kenny's most recent message.

Feel like answering me now?

Before I could even think about the question another message popped up.

I see you have finally gotten my messages you fucking whore how many guys were sticking it up your ass?

I honestly considered ignoring Kenny once more, but out of fear of him showing up in school in person I decided to respond.

I did not have sex last night Kenny that's your thing.

Oh please I know that the only reason you would turn me down was for more cocks Kenny responded

You do not fucking know me I respond

Oh are you sure about that, when you were on my bed moaning as I grinded against you, you were pretty honest with me Kenny responded

I immediately felt shame from my behavior when I was at Kenny's house. I do not know what came over me when I head confessed all those embarrassing things to Kenny, but I knew eventually Kenny would use it against me. He knew who I had crushes on and it concerned me.

Leave me the fuck alone Kenny, I don't wanna play these games with you anymore I replied

Your the one who fucked up Kyle, When I tell you to come over to my place you come over to my place, you made me look bad Kenny replied

How did I make you look bad I respond

It doesn't matter, I will set you straight will soon kay cocksucker Kenny replied

I am done I respond

I am not sure if I should be scared of Kenny or proud of myself for sticking up for myself. It was really confusing and I hoped that Kenny would not show the video he had of me to everyone, but I was growing increasingly confident Kenny would not do so. It was weird that he had not done it immediately, but I guess there was something keeping him from ruining my life. Maybe he did not want to be called a fag for taking a video of another guy jerking off or something, or maybe he preferred using me for sex although I had no idea why. It sickened me that deep down I enjoyed being looked at as an object and used by Kenny. Someone deep down it turned me on that Kenny treated me like some skanky girl he just met and it scared me. Kenny did not respond for a bit and as we neared our school Stan spoke to me.

"Are you alright," Stan asked with a worried look.

"Yeah, why," I ask back.

"You just look a little one edge," Stan says.

"I am fine, just thinking about having to deal with debate club later," I lie as I exit the Limo.

As I eat breakfast with Stan and Wendy part of me wonders what Kenny meant before he stopped responding to me. I could come up with a few ideas for what Kenny had in mind in order to 'set me straight' and none of them were appealing. It was super weird and troubling how he just stopped responding after leaving such a vague text. I worried that he might show up to my stall during gym class again.

Wendy did not even bring up the fact that I did not show up after the Thanksgiving event was over to help her out. I wondered if she even noticed I was not there, and if she did why did it seem that she did not care in the least. I was unsure how to feel about this, but for now, I just wrote it off as it being too early for Wendy to really address anything. For now, I focused my anxiety on what Kenny had planned.

I made it through my morning classes while considering my options about what to do during gym class. Kenny had already invaded my privacy several times and when it came time to go to gym class I decided to change in a different stall then I normally did. This would not guarantee anything, but it would make me feel safer.

As I walked through the locker room towards the stalls I realized there was an extreme lack of senior and juniors here today, in fact, all throughout today I have noticed that they seemed to have chosen to ditch school today. This was likely due to thanksgiving and Alexis's huge party last night.

I changed quickly in the foreign and turned around and let out a relief to see that Kenny had not appeared. I walked out of the stall and made my way through the locker roomer relieved that Kenny had not shown up today. I was still worried about what Kenny had planned, but for now, I felt resecured. I did not want to acknowledge it but the part of me that was a cock hungry slut kind of was disappointed. I don't know why I felt two different feelings towards what was happening between Kenny and me, but I had to choose the one that was best for me. It may be nice to just give into my lust, but it was way to risky to do so with Kenny because I could not trust him. That was basically what it boiled down to.

For some reason, Clyde felt different than Kenny. Do not get me wrong deep down I really wanted him to fuck my brains out, and I was less ashamed to admit that since Clyde was not a total asshole like Kenny. Clyde also seemed to actually like me back which is something I have never seen before. It was so nice having someone who actually wanted me and I actually enjoyed seeing him. It was not some hopeless unrequited romance like what I had with Stan. It was not some heartless face fucking like it was with Kenny. It was something I had never gone through before and it made me happy, or at least felt like it did.

As we went through are warm ups I was disappointed to see that Clyde was also not here today. He likely stayed up late at Alexis's and ditched school today like the seniors and juniors did. I realized I had begun to become attached to Clyde and felt disappointed with myself for never getting to know him as much as I could of in the past. The most I knew about Clyde was that he was on the basketball team and was super sweet. Right now I needed to get to know Clyde if I wanted our relationship to be something more than heartless lust like mine and Kenny's relationship. It hurt to even think about what Kenny and I had as a relationship. I am sure Kenny no way in hell viewed it that way himself.

School had let out and I found myself in debate club. The club met every other Friday and only consisted of around twelve to thirteen students. The only ones I really knew were Wendy and Cartman. Cartman was insufferable as hell, especially during debate club. A lot of students had left and I considered joining them, but I could not let my pride go and Cartman was not going to force me out of a club I liked. Wendy and I both could not stand him, and luckily for me, Wendy took on the most debates with Cartman. Today though I had a debate scheduled with him and as if I did not have enough shit to deal with already.

Cartman had chosen a particularly retarded debate subject, which was whether or not the earth was flat. I, of course, was on the side of the earth being round. The fact that Cartman was arguing that the earth was flat would be funny to me if he was not actually successfully getting two members of the club actually questioning if the earth was round. I knew cartman did not actually think that the earth was flat or even cared either way, but he did enjoy making me suffer through such a moronic debate. He did it the same way he did all of his debates. He made any argument possible in order to win debates even the most retarded illogical nonsense. He also got some enjoyment out of convincing people of his bullshit, and sometimes I seriously worried about what would happen if Cartman got his words inside the heads of some impressionable poor people.

I was grateful when the club was finally over and Cartman was the first one out the door. I grabbed my bag and prepared to go outside and meet up with Stan and Token who are outside waiting for me. Wendy suddenly approaches me with a purposeful look on her face.

"Hey Kyle," Wendy said in a questioning tone.

"What's up," I reply.

"What happened to you yesterday," Wendy asked.

I was expecting Wendy to ask me why I did not stay after the event to get on the principal's good side. It was kind of surprising that she waited until the end of the day to bring it up.

"Sorry I just had other plans," I answer simply.

Wendy gives me a questioning look. Clearly, she wanted a longer explanation than that, but I guess she relented and decided to not pry any further.

"Yea the principal did not show up," Wendy said with a chuckle,"So I guess it did not matter much anyway."

"That's too bad," I say,"You definitely deserve to be of SPFAC."

"Thanks, Kyle," Wendy says,"I will just have to wait like everyone else it seems."

Wendy and I bid farewell to one another as I made my way to the front of the school.

The ride home was uneventful but I was relieved that Kenny had not shown up during school. I was always so overwhelmed whenever he and I were together in person. I do not know exactly why but when I get home I feel so much safer. I feel as though Kenny can not do anything to me while I'm at my home. Which is obviously not entirely true considering that he had broken through my window with ease, but maybe it is because I felt more empowered in my own home. Whatever the case is it was just comforting that I was done with having to worry about Kenny ambushing me at school now that the weekend was starting. I was also excited about what all I could go out and do with Clyde. I was not sure if Clyde would want to hang out tonight, but knowing him he would probably go to Bebe's on Friday. I checked the phone and was sort of disappointed that Clyde had not messaged me as of yet. Stan was not going to be able to hang out tonight because he and Token had a football game tomorrow night. They wanted to be fully prepared and their coach wanted them to swing by the school early on Saturday for some reason.

I laid down on my comfortable bed as I usually did when I wanted to get lost in fantasies. I imagined what it would be like having a sweet and caring boyfriend. I was not sure if Clyde fit that mold perfectly, but it was still fun to fantasize about. My perfect boyfriend fantasies were almost as bad as my slutty ones. Not only were they super cheesy and unrealistic. It was also melodramatic and overly campy, which made me feel like some prepubescent girl. I did not care at the moment as I imagined me and Clyde going on some romantic date and just as I began to fall into my fantasies my mind was invaded by some dirty thoughts, and not the kind that I was ok with. I imagined being fucked roughly by Kenny as he yanked my hair. I immediately dispelled the fantasy as soon as I started having it. It was not healthy for me to think of someone like Kenny in such a way and would only lead to trouble. I only wished that at least my hard on would not betray how truly turned on I was.

Suddenly there was a knock on my bedroom door, and I quickly hid my arousal.

"Who is it," I asked.

"It's me," I hear Ike respond.

"What do you want," I ask.

Ike is pretty independent and rarely goes out of his way to talk to me. Unless he needs help with his homework or wants me to help him get into an R rated movie, and if my mother ever asked I would deny the latter.

"To talk for a moment," Ike answers with seriousness in his voice.

"Uhh sure come in," I respond accepting his request.

Ike enters my room and looks kind of nervous. He approaches my bed as I sit up to speak to him face to face. He looks like he has something to tell me, but is having trouble coming up with the words. He gives me a sympathetic look for a moment as if he feels sorry for me and I wonder what has gotten into him. He soon finds the courage to begin speaking.

"Kyle um,"Ike says with an uneasy voice,"I know that..."

He stops himself and looks down to the floor as if he can not bring himself to say what he wants. I try to make him feel more comfortable by talking first in the hopes that it will make him calm down and tell me what he needs to tell me. He sits down on the opposite side of my bed and looks me in the eyes. He gives me a look as though he was sorry for some wrong he had inflicted on me. I begin to wonder what has gotten him acting so strange when he just blurts it out.

"I know your gay," He yelps and quickly looks away from me in embarrassment.

I freeze up and feel as though someone has just shot me in the head. It takes me a moment to register what Ike just said. I can not believe that Ike just said he knew I was gay. Surely I had to have misheard him. Judging from his reaction to telling me, though, he had said exactly what I thought he did. I never imagined Ike would just tell me this out of the blue and began wondering if that asshole Kenny had something to do with Ike finding out when Ike continued speaking.

"It has been pretty obvious for a while now," Ike says in a sad voice.

I feel slightly relieved that Kenny seemingly had nothing to do with this as I begin tearing up. Ike looks me in the eyes again. He does not look how I feared he would in this situation. He was not embarrassed by me or disgusted he just looked sympathetic and caring. Despite only being adopted he was a lot like our mother in that way. I would deny it like I alway imagined I would when faced with this situation, but I could not because my brother was doing it in a way I did not expect. He was being nice and trying to come to terms with me, albeit out of the blue, and I could not just throw his emotional outburst in his face by denying it. It felt like a dam inside of me was breaking as emotions I had not felt since realizing I was gay came bubbling up. I let out a cry and began weeping into my pillow not wanting my little brother to see his big brother in such a sad state.

"I am ok with it," Ike said,"You're my brother and always will be and I love you."

Ike gives me a quick hug from behind as I grab him and hold him close. I never imagined it would feel so good to come out to someone I cared about in a platonic way. I let out a nervous laugh as we separated our embrace. It was kind of hard to look Ike in the face after he had just got me to open up about my sexuality but it did make me feel better to see that he was pretty accepting of me.

"Was it really that obvious," I say as I wipe tears from my face.

"Well yeah," Ike said with a nervous laugh," Mom and dad know too."

I was blown away by the fact that mom and dad knew that I was gay. I clearly was not doing a good job of hiding my sexuality at all and wondered if everyone saw through me as easily as my family did. My mother always seemed to assume that I was going to find some and girl in college so I was fairly confused by what Ike was telling me.

"They... do," I say questioningly.

"Well they kind of figured," Ike said honestly.

"But mom told dad if you were gay then you would tell them when you were ready to, and not to push you," Ike informed.

That honestly did sound like our mom. It felt so much better knowing that my family would have my back even if I was gay. It made me feel like I almost could just come out and everything would be ok. I also felt less worried about Kenny. So what if I was gay and he had a video of me jerking off to gay porn. It would not be so tough living with it. I could move on with my life afterwards. I felt like Kenny had far less power over me as my confidence began growing thanks to Ike and my parents.

"So you pushed me," I joked as Ike hit my shoulder playfully.

"Well your friend Kenny sent me a text message asking me if you have been questioning your sexuality, and I told him if you had come out to him and he just lol'd and told me to tell you to text him later," Ike informed me.

I immediately felt Kenny reasserting control in my mind. I once again feared him telling random people about me. It was odd that he gave my brother such an odd question that would make him question my sexuality if he was not already fairly aware that I was gay. Then Ike just responded asking Kenny if I had come out to him, which is unintentionally just as bad as what Kenny had done. In the end, both of them took and risk of letting some sensitive information slide. I was pissed at Kenny and felt like punching his face in for getting my brother involved. My brother took notice of my change in mood.

"Oh shit," Ike said remorsefully,"Did I just out you to your friend."

"no, no," I said trying to comfort him,"Kenny already knew..."

"Oh thank god," Ike said relieved.

"Just be more careful for now on," I told Ike.

"Yea I will," Ike said punching his fist into his palm, "Let me know if anyone gives you a hard time."

I laughed at Ike's gesture as he left my room. He was tougher than I was at his age and would undoubtfully surpass me in strength in anther year or so. I guess my lack of strength was one of the indicators to him I was gay.

I remembered how Kenny had risked outing me to Ike and felt my rage boil once more. I was going to text him right now and let him know we were finished. He may have a video proving I'm gay and sure I would rather avoid being outed, but now I knew I could deal with it. I was still worried he would out me as something even worst, a slut, but I would just have to deny ever sucking him off or doing anything with him. I was finally going to take back the part of my life I had allowed Kenny to begin taking advantage of. I sent a message to Kenny's phone.

What the fuck did you text my little brother for

I waited a couple minutes for a reply from Kenny. Then my phone buzzed and Kenny had responded to my message.

Relax I only told him, for now

Look I am done with you, stay away from my family and delete that video I don't care if you out me anymore. I responded

Really being outed as gay won't bother you Kenny replied

Not as much as I thought it would I responded

Well shit, power to you princess, but your okay with everyone knowing how you followed me around on your knees sucking me off Kenny replied

That never happened I responded

I had to start denying what Kenny had done to me even in text messages. Kenny could not have an ounce of evidence that I ever did anything with him. It was one thing to be gay, another thing to be a slut and a whole lot of something else to be a slut for Kenny Mccormick.

I see what your doing Kenny replied

What do you mean I respond

You have come to terms with being gay, but don't want to admit to being a little cum slut who sucked the cock of someone like me Kenny responded

Okay, that's cool we are done talking. I reply

With this, I intend to end the conversation. Kenny may have been right about me not wanting people to know I was a slut, but in the end, it would come down to my word versus his. At least that's what I thought before I got the pictures and a new video. The pictures were of me face down in his bed wearing slutty clothing. I really did look like a girl but anyone who knew me would easily recognize me by hair alone. He even had a few pictures of me completely naked. I shudder as I remember how his cell phone had ringed while he was hot dogging me. The video was some shitty camera that Kenny had rigged up in his garage at his workplace. The video clearly showed me sucking him off from various angles. I know got the real purpose as to why Kenny had me moving around. I looked like I was desperate to get Kenny off. I felt dread like I never have before as my plan came crashing down right in front of my eyes.

I guess we have an understanding now? Kenny replied

It only drilled home the message that the dirty slut in the video and pictures is not who I wanted to be. It was not who I could be if I wanted to have any respectable future. I missed how Clyde had kissed me during the party last night and wished I would have just stayed at Bebe's party and kept playing spin the bottle with him originally. Then I never would have ruined Kenny's chances with that preppy chick and in turn have him threaten to ruin my life. That did not matter because now I had to keep him from leaking these pictures and the video if I ever wanted to have a normal relationship with Clyde without him knowing my true slutty self.