6

On the seventh day of Rise of Iron, my true love gave to me;

Seven levels of stupid!

"This," Alex said, "is the single most stupid thing I've ever done."

"You said that about the last stupid thing we did." Carlton reasoned, raising an eyebrow in his direction. Sierra adjusted the goggles on her head.

"Re-lax." she told them smoothly, patting a terrified Variks on the shoulder. "I've done this a million times!"

"I do not know how you convinced me to do this..." the scribe shuttered. Following the campaign against the House of Wolves, he'd been permitted into the Tower for a brief celebration. Conveniently... it also happened to snow on this particular day. And it had snowed heavily. And somehow, Sierra had thought it would be a good idea to introduce him to the age-old human tradition of doing dumb stuff in snow.

"Um, you've done this never, Sierra, in all the time we've known you." Carlton said. Alex nodded fearfully.

"We're seven stories up! That's seven levels of stupid that we're engaging in right now!" he told them. He tried to get up, but Sierra gripped his shoulders and shoved him back down into his seat.

"Oh, no you don't! I spent all day making this, you're sledding down it." she declared fiercely.

"Oh, sure; makeshift bobsled path hundreds of feet in the air; that sound like such a perfect idea!" Alex snorted with fearful sarcasm, peering down. They were on a section of roof on the Tower, and, down below, a bobsled path had been carved in the snow in the main plaza. He gripped the rails of his sled tightly.

"Alright, Three, two..." Sierra began, kicking Alex and Carlton's sled over the edge before getting up behind Variks. The scribe suddenly decided that this was a really bad idea, and tried to get out.

"Perhaps I should-"

"ONE!" she pushed the led forwards, jumping onto it as it went over the edge, and Variks gripped the edges of the sled with all four hands.

Meanwhile, Alex screamed as he and Carlton were dropped off the edge. Oh, no no no no no!

"I'M GOING TO BE SICK!" Carlton exclaimed as they hit the ground with a bang and sped along the makeshift track. Several guardians on the sidelines whooped and cheered, while Alex shut his eyes tight, still screaming.

Oh, please not spirals! Why did it have to be spirals!?

He opened his eye just a crack... and instantly regretted it. The Vanguard and Reef visitors had come out into the plaza, and a confused looking Uldren had wondered onto the track.

"OUT OF THE WAAAYY!" Carlton screeched.

Too late.

The Queen whirled around as her brother was carried off by a red blur speeding along the ground, the Guardians on board it screaming.

Alex covered his eyes, screeching. Uldren clung to the front of the bobsled, rage and shock apparent in his face.

"WHAT THE #%* DO YOU IDIOTS THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" The Prince roared.

"SEVEN LEVELS OF STUPID!"

"THE HUNTER MADE US DO IT!"

Alex opened his eyes again... and again, he regretted it. He pointed screaming, at the edge of the Tower, an ice ramp set up over the railing.

"I'm gonna vomit! I'm gonna vomit!" Carlton yelled frantically as they sped towards the ramp.

Don't you dare!" Uldren snarled, before turning his head to see what Alex was screaming at. His eyes widened, and he pushing himself off of the sled, getting thrown, rolling, into the snow as the Guardians flew. Carlton threw up over the edge of the bobsled, and far down below, some unlucky citizen was rained upon by puke.

Alex clung, still screaming, to the sides of the sled as they began their descent. So distracted was he by his terror, he didn't even notice as the sled bounced off the rooftops, nor as they slammed into a pile of snow at the bottom, until he realized he couldn't breath, as he was buried in the white fluff. he broke through the surface gasping with terror, desperate for air, heart pounding so hard and fast, he thought he might go into cardiac arrest.

Suddenly, he noticed that there was more than one sled half-buried in the snow, and Variks surfaced nearby, shaking snow off himself. Sierra burst up beside him, fists in the air.

"WHOOOHOOO!" she slugged Variks in the shoulder. "LETS DO THAT AGAIN!"

"Never!" Variks said quickly, rising up out of the snow heap completely.

"Now, don't pretend you didn't have fun!" Sierra insisted cheekily.

"Fun!" Carlton shouted from where he'd just been revived, beside Alex. "I just broke my neck! I broke, my neck. My NECK!"

"Dude, you jump off the Tower just for the fun of it! Even when Zavala insists on no recreational Tower jumping!" she argued slyly, one eyebrow raised.

"That was... seven levels of stupid, that I will not be repeating, yes?" the Fallen scribe said, working his way away from them through the thick snow pile they had all landed in. Sierra shrugged.

"You lot do what you will; I'm going again!"

So, I've used these Guardians roughly three times now. Alex screams like a girl. Carlot hit the wall at break-neck speed(pun totally intended). Sierra's an adrenaline junkie. Variks... Variks is probably just glad he's alive.

I think Uldren's having an aneurism, he's so angry.

In my head, the look on the Queen's face was priceless.

Next stop is another semi-feels town. Enjoy.

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