Title: Not Surprise Attack I

Author: Rea Treoni

Rating: T

Characters: Damian Wayne, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, brief Bruce Wayne and Alfred Pennyworth.

WARNINGS: Swear words around, as always.

Headcannon: Jason and Tim are partway through mapping out a plan where they can believably splash Damian with Holy Water, and make it look like an accident. For science reasons. (By incogneat-oh)

Requested by: PinkBat7941 (Don't worry, the good stuff comes in the next chap)

Disclaimer: I don't own any Batman related character. They are DC Comics's.

Both middle siblings stood there: crouching on the floor, hiding behind the wall, popping their heads out from time to time to watch their prey and its movement. Jason looks at Tim and raises a, recently filled with holy water, spray bottle.

"Okay, this is the moment of truth" the young man whispers conspiratorially, lips twitching from trying to contain his excitement "Are you ready, Replacement?"

The teen grins at him and nods, taking the offering spray bottle from his brother's hand. Jason grins back and takes out his own bottle, swinging it professionally in the air.

"Remember the plan: spray and run" he indicates in low voice, gesturing the elaborated plan with his hands "Also, the beast has teeth so stay away from the mouth and you should be fine" reminds Jason firmly.

Tim suppressed a snort "It also has knifes"

Jason paused and blinked "Huh, true. Just run, okay?"

"And if it catches me?" Tim inquires with an arched brow.

Jason shrugs "It wasn't that nice knowing you"

He shoved his brother on the shoulder while snickering. Jason grins at him playfully for a second before shushing him and gestures him to follow him, standing up from the floor. Both siblings turns their necks just enough to look once again at the beast, glad that it hasn't discovered their plan.

There was Damian, just a few feet away from their hiding place. The ten years old was in the library and despite all the comfortable cushions and sofas around the room, the kid decided to sit on the floor, leaning against his loyal sleeping Great Dane. Damian was currently reading one of the books Alfred had basically ordered him to read, 'the classics' as the old butler proudly declared when he shoved them into the kid's arms a few weeks back. The cover of the book on the kid's hands read The Little Prince, and every five seconds the brothers watches amused as Damian hummed approvingly at the book.

They tell themselves that there was no way he could be expecting their surprise attack. They had been planning this for a long time: they had had their failures when they tried to make it look like an accident, and most of their tries ended up with them being reproached by Alfred and the almighty eye brow. The idea was formed a few months back, when they were just throwing a plastic ball back and forward in the living room on a Sunday afternoon until Jason asked if Damian would be burned if they sprayed Holy Water on him.

They both reassure themselves that they're doing it for science reasons and maybe saving the humanity from the actual demon, who knows. It was a win-win situation, unless they ended up dead after this, of course.

Jason held up three fingers and started the count down. When the last finger went down, not at all surprising that Jason left his middle finger to go down last, Jason and Tim opened their mouths to let out their battle cry before a voice behind them interrupted them.

"What're you guys doing?" asks Dick, raising his eye brow, both hands on his hips and looking curiously at his brothers.

Both men froze and slowly turned their heads towards their eldest brother, hiding their spray bottle behind their backs. They sent Dick a charming innocent smile, which only seemed to raise their brother's suspicion.

"Nothing" they said in union as another voice answered behind them.

"Being imbeciles"

Jason and Tim look surprised and slowly turned back their head to look at their little brother, looking at them unimpressed until his eyes focused on the spray bottle on their hands and glared at them dirty.

"You blew our cover, you Dickhead" complains Jason waving his hands annoyed. Dick looked more confused.

"What did I do?"

"You know what, fuck it" declares Jason and sharing a glance with Tim before they raised their own bottle, pointed them at Damian and sprayed him a good dose of holy water on him before running away.

"Is he burning?" yells Jason, not bothering to look back.

"I don't know! Just keep running!" shouts Tim back, running by his side.

Dick watches amused as his brothers disappear behind a corner at the end of the hall before turning to his youngest brother, who was wiping the water out of his face and grunting irritated.

"Count to ten, Dami" reminds Dick softly, placing his hand over Damian's shoulder. The ten years old clicked his tongue annoyed but closed his eyes either way.

After ten seconds, Damian shrugged off Dick's hand off his shoulder and head out to Bruce's studio.

"'They're your brothers, Damian' they said" murmurs darkly Damian stomping along the way, a happy Titus trotting close behind "'You can't kill them' they said. Just you watch me" Damian scoffs "Father! I demand to execution plan for Todd and Drake for insulting my honor!"

"No, Damian" answers Bruce's flat voice, still inside his studio.

"But Father –!" objects Damian instantly and was cut off as he entered the studio and closed the door behind him, blocking the rest of the conversation.

Dick looked both of his sides in the middle of the hallway where his three brothers had disappeared to before heading down the path Jason and Tim had run off to. The man ended up facing the Lodge, the place Jason and Tim went into hiding and stood outside the half open door, listening the laughs and snickers coming from the inside.

"Did you see his face?" laughs Jason from the floor, holding his stomach.

"No" answers Tim, laughing equally loud.

"Me neither!" shouts Jason, cackling "I was too sacred to do so"

"Me too!"

Dick smiles to himself content because at least his brothers are bonding, at dispense of their youngest' annoyance, but it was something. As Dick hears his brothers laughing and sharing comments between themselves, the man suddenly realizes that it had been a long time since he had heard Tim laugh so genuinely and freely.

Dick knew he shouldn't, that it was irrational to feel jealous because of his brothers' bonding, but he couldn't help it. There was a time when Tim came to him when he had a problem, not Jason. It had been him that helped Tim get through some of his toughest moments, not Jason. It had been him that used to make him laugh like that, not Jason.

The original Robin frowns as he realizes that he doesn't remember the last time he had spent time alone with Tim. Sure, sometimes they get together but only because Tim needs information about a case and always hangs out more with his computer than Dick himself and even then, he usually stays for half an hour, tops.

Suddenly, Dick feels sad and ashamed of himself, because he can't believe that he has dismissed his bond with Tim for so long and worries that it may be too late to mend it. As he backed away from the lodge where his brothers where still laughing among themselves, Dick starts to brain storming ideas that could help him regain his bond with Tim, something fun and brotherly like they used to do when Tim was Robin. As Dick walked, scratching his chin thoughtfully, an angry tiny voice started to yell from downstairs, followed by the sound of metal clashing.

"Todd! Drake! Come out from your coward cupboard and face your execution like the half men you are!" screams Damian, still clashing his swords against each other.

"Damian Wayne! You put those swords back from where you got them!" came Bruce's exasperated voice close behind.

Alfred's came up next "Master Damian, if you could please stop swinging those lethal things around, breaking antique vases and ruining the couch, it would be very much appreciated"

"But, Pennyworth, the execution!"

"There will be no execution, young man!"

"'tt' Fine! No execution or anything that involves blood" Damian complies grumpily, his swords clanging against the floor as he threw them carelessly. There was a moments of silence before "Collect the wood, Pennyworth! We're building a pyre!"

"Damian!"

Dick rubbed his face, already heading towards the chaos downstairs when Damian's next words made him pause.

"Fine! Exile, then! Let's drop them on the deepest part of the forest and let them be eaten by wild animals!"

'Forest' Dick repeats on his head and with the idea already forming on his head, the man quickly run down the stairs grinning maniacally. As he rushed pass the arguing trio, Dick picked up Damian from the floor and spun him around.

"You're a genius, Dami!" he declares proudly, dropping a small kiss on the kid's forehead, making Damian to squeal indignant, before dashing towards the kitchen. The confused trio left behind stood there in silence before the youngest broke it.

"See, Father? Even Grayson agrees that exile it's a good idea!"

Bruce just groans, pressing his hands on his face.

"Why am I here?" asks Jason bored, leaning against a trunk.

"Because you saw me packing a donut and proceed to hide on the car's trunk until we arrived at our destination" reminds Dick, not turning back from the map on his hands.

"Okay, then, why's Demon here?" Jason asks again, pointing with his thump at Damian, who was crouching in front of a bunny. At the mention of him, Damian quickly stood up and put on his blank face, hiding the carrot on his hand behind his back.

"Because he wanted to see the animals" answers Dick, still eyeing the massive map concentrated "And Damian, I promised Bruce that you wouldn't bring home more animals. Sorry buddy" he adds, pointing at the bunny that pushed itself between Damian's legs.

Damian pouted as he extended the carrot to the waiting bunny "'tt'"

"Final question: Why's Replacement here?" inquires once again Jason, this time pointing at Tim, who was wrestling with one of the tents a few feet from them.

"Because I invited him. In fact, he was the only person I actually invited voluntarily" responds Dick, this time raising his head from the map, facing his brother. Jason opens his mouth as if he was letting out a silent gasp and placed his hand over his chest.

"You hurt me, Dickiebird" he says, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye "The demon and I are hurt"

"Uh, no, I'm not" objects Damian from the side, now with a bunch of bunnies near his feet sniffing him. The older brothers stared at the scene for a second before Dick spoke up.

"You and Damian were supposed to be away on a mission during these days" says Dick, putting away the map on his back pocket "That's why you weren't considered in this trip"

"It's not my fault the dumb fuck of a criminal we were supposed to be spying on decided to do something stupid that ended up on killing him" defends Jason shrugging nonchalantly. Damian snorted by his side. "But do no fret, Golden Boy, Demon and I actually have our own schedule for this trip" he declares proudly.

Damian arched his eye brow and crossed his arms, looking up at his brother "We do?" he asks skeptical, not really liking the idea.

"We do" affirms Jason, nodding his head firmly "I saw some cool caves on our way here, I bet we can find some batmen there"

Damian shot him an unimpressed look "We literally have a cave back in the Manor, you moron" he scoffs "Why would I be interested in going to some sticky humid cave?"

"There's no Tim there"

A pause before "To the cave it is"

Dick rolled his eyes throughout the exchange, shaking his head, not really knowing if he should feel amused or bemused.

"Guys, just be careful, please" he practically pleads, as his brother's took some backpacks from the car's trunk and started to walk away.

"Yeah yeah, Mother Hen" waved off Jason, not bothering to look back "We'll be fine"

"If Todd is found dead on a river, if was not my fault!" shouts Damian, turning his head over his shoulder to look at his brother.

"Damian Wayne" reprimands Dick, crossing his arms.

"Fine! But revenge shall be mine at one point!"

"Kid! That happened like three weeks ago! Let it go!"

"Never!"

Dick just sighs exasperated while his brothers kept arguing as they faded away in the ocean of trees. A moment later, Tim stood by his side, some strings and rope decorating his black hair.

"Remember when you invited me to come camping with you like the good old days?" inquires Tim calmly, Dick nods confused.

"And remember when I instantly agreed and declared that I totally remembered everything about camping?" Dick nods once again, this time a grin forming in his lips.

"I lied, I don't remember shit" Tim deadpanned, a small pout on his face as he wiped some strings away from his face. Dick chuckles before stepping forward to help his brother.

Maybe it wasn't too late to mend their bond.

Hope you liked it!