When my eyes slowly opened revealing Juice's bedroom it took me a moment to remember the previous nights events. My stomach dropped again knowing Donna was still gone, Opie was still in pain and I was wrapped up in Juice's arms his deep breathing ringing in my ear as he slept soundly beside me. I tried to close my eyes and force myself to fall back asleep hoping to avoid the feelings,and memories running through my head but Opie's deep voice called out to me over and over.

I finally gave up on sleep and slowly slipped out of the bed holding Juice's arms as I moved hoping not to wake him. We had both fallen asleep in our clothes from the night before his SOA cut the only piece of clothing slung over a chair near the end of the bed.

I made my way into his kitchen and pulled open the covers looking for some sort of coffee, hoping for a caffeine boost when I heard foot steps.

"Top shelf, third cupboard down theres some instant" he called out seeming to be reading my mind.

I lifted up on my tippy toes grabbing the coffee and quickly fell into the motion of making the two of us each a cup hoping the mundane task would distract me.

"Holly, I am really sorry that happened last night. I cant believe I brought you into all of that" he muttered leaning against a nearby counter.

"It's not your fault Juice how were you supposed to know that was going to happen. I just cant get over it, it's so awful. She was so young and those poor kids. The whole thing breaks my heart" I mumbled avoiding his gaze knowing if my eyes met his I might break down again.

"I know I still feel like shit about everything. I completely left you last night when we should of been together"

"You had to be with the club it's okay we ended up together which is what matters" I said flashing him a quick smile before I slipped him the hot coffee hoping he knew I meant those words.

"Where did you end up when you left the party?"

"No where, I just walked around I needed a bit of time to process it all I guess" I said not sure why I just lied to Juice. I could have told him the truth, told him about Opie but I just couldn't not yet at lest.

Before either of us could say another word just like every other time we were together his phone rang. It only took a moment of the phone to his ear before he glanced back at me, I knew then he would be leaving. He kissed me quickly mentioning that I could stay as long as I wanted and he would be back as soon as the club was done with him before running back to grab his cut and taking off out the door leaving me in a silent room I had only been in once before.

I finished my coffee slowly walking around Juice's home taking advantage of the fact he wasn't there. I ran my hand along a pile of pictures he had scattered on a table most of the rest of the SOA crew some of girls flung over their laps, more bikes then I could count and a close up of Opie in the middle of a deep laugh. I cringed at the thought of him. At the rush of feelings I forced myself to leave Juice's place, slipping on my flip flops as I rushed for the fresh air and the streets of Charming.

I hadn't even had a chance to push Opie out of my mind when my cell rang. I pulled it to my ear quickly not thinking before I spoke "Juice" I mumbled assuming he would be the only one trying to check up on me today.

"It's Opie. Juice is at the club house they are having some sort of meeting I'm not sure I'm sitting this one out." I heard him say, his voice sounded rougher then normal.

"Oh Opie hunny how are you?"

"As good as I could be. Honestly Holly at this point I am hoping the feds lock me up. There is that whole case with Bobby right now and they've hinted to Clay I might be going back. I cant stay here, I cant look at my kids, I cant look at myself, the house has Donna's stuff everywhere I cant escape it" he mumbled.

"Is your mom there?"

"Yeah she showed up this morning, she's feeding the kids"

"Ask her to stay and come meet me" I said knowing I shouldn't be doing this but I wanted to see him and he wanted a break.

"Our place?" he asked sending a shiver down my back.

"Our place in ten minutes" I said softly before hanging up the phone and slipping it into my pocket.

When Opie and were together we would spend most of our free time together in the back of his pick up truck, laying in the bed of the truck either starring up at the stars or making love in the abandoned local Drive in that had closed long before we were old enough to drive in.

It didn't take me long to grab a taxi and confirm with the driver multiple times yes I knew the drive in was closed. When we pulled up to the abandoned field with a large broken screen with more then a few holes scattered across it and graffiti covering the blank sections that could be reached from the ground I noticed the black truck beside the old snack stand. I handed the driver a few bills and slipped out of back of the car. As my feet hit the grass and I breathed in the fresh air I saw Opie climb out of his truck, his hair tucked up in a hat, still wearing his clothes from last night. I could see his eyes were swollen even from the distance between us. Before I knew what I was doing I started off in a run towards him. He held out his arms and pulled me to him as I reached him. Just like all those time when I had snuck out of my house as a teenager he lifted me up our arms wrapped around each other. I held on to him, my face buried in his neck as I felt his grip tighten on me.

"Holly" he whispered as he kissed my cheek.

"Opie" was all I managed to say as my breathing grew heavy and tears slid down my cheeks. I had been over come with emotions. I had missed this, the deep passion and love I had only felt for him. I had missed holding him, feeling the scruff of his beard scratch across my face and the way his heavy arms seemed to fit just right around my waist.

We stayed like that for what seemed to be a long time before he took my hand and silently lead me up to the bed of his truck like he always used to. He pulled down the back and lent me his arm to balance myself on as I pulled myself into the large cab of the truck and without though laid down my eyes looking up at the sky well my hand held on to his beside me.

We stayed there for longer then I thought when both of our phones seemed to go off. I grabbed my phone first and pulled it open to a text from Juice.

"Hey babe, just a heads up Clay is paying a visit to your pops today. I'm going with don't worry nothings going to happen"

"Opie, do you know why Clay would go see my dad?" I asked him sitting up and looking at him, knowing he would be honest with me.

"It was your sister. Your dad went to Clay not longer after it happened. They found the guy, the clown ass cut his balls off" he said almost like it was nothing, just a normal day.

"Are you fucking serious?, why did no one mention this to me?"

"Hol, calm down. He was a piece of shit ass hole that raped your sister. Do you think he would have stopped with her? What would the cops have done tossed him in jail only to release him years later so he can do it again. He needed to be stopped. You have a crow on your back which means your sister is protected to. Your dad needed help so we helped end of story"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was shocked that after everything we had gone through my dad would go to Clay for help. I couldn't believe I was proud of my dad for this, and I was happy that the man who had stolen my sisters innocence was now most likely six feet under and my ex and boyfriend may have helped that along.

"The funeral is tomorrow are you coming?" he asked looking back at me as he changed the subject.

"Of course I will"

"Can you come before hand and help me with the kids?"

"Opie, I would do that and you know I would but you know thats not a smart idea. It's their mothers funeral they will get confused having another woman in the house so soon. They would resent you for it later if not tomorrow. Plus everyone in town would talk. It wouldn't be right. I will be there with Juice but you will know I'm there"

"Break up with him" he said again so normally like it was no big deal.

"Opie please don't start this cant we just stay here together right now and ignore everything else" I pleaded as I laid back down beside him.

He slipped out his arm and wrapped it around me pulling me closer to him. Just like I had so many times before I laid my head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heart beat.

"I don't like seeing you with him" Opie admitted.

"Op, please lets not do this"

"Do what Holly. We are finally in the situation where we can be back together. After all this time we can be together. All I'm asking is you leave Juice so we can try this"

"Oh is that it?" I said rolling my eyes at the impression that leaving Juice was not a big deal.

"You don't know what your saying Opie. Donna passed away last night and your telling me today we can be together forever now. Why don't you try grieving your wife and taking care of your kids before you ask me to drop my life and come running back to you and step in the place of Donna who doesn't deserve this" I said pushing away from him knowing my words would hurt him.

"I don't need time Holly, I have wanted to be with you since we were teenagers. I loved Donna and she was a damn good woman and mother and she was my wife but now she is dead so why can I not try to be happy" he called back at me.

"It's not right so soon. How do you know we would even work out Op?"

"Because were supposed to be together and be honest with yourself, if I hadn't of cheated we still would be together. Those would be our kids at home and Donna would still be alive" he said so coldly I felt another chill.

"Don't put that on me Opie Winston. Your wife is not dead because I left, hell if I hadn't of left that could have been me last night. We clearly did not work before or you wouldn't have slept with someone else and broke my heart. How do I know thats not going to happen again? Because Opie lets just say this happened if something happened and you broke my heart again I don't know if I could recover from that. Right now I have Juice who loves me truly and would never cheat on more or break my heart and when I should be with him I'm here with you" I said the words hitting me as I said them out loud. What was I doing with a grieving Opie Winston when I should be with Juice.

"Do you know where your precious Juice is?" he spit out at me before continuing. "He's gone to bully your dad into information for Clay. Then they are going out looking to find the witness who might toss me back into jail. Jax has been texting me all day your amazing boyfriend might have killed someone by the end of the day he almost hissed at me.

I quickly sat up and hopped out of the truck and Opie was quick on my heels. When I reached the grass and spun around to spit out a response he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him. He quickly held my waist and kissed me deeply.

I hit my hands on his chest rough at first as I gripped his shirt in my hands, pulling away from the kiss.

"Go home to your kids Opie. I will be there tomorrow to give my respects to your wife and if you need anything you know my number" I said stepping back, his arms still holding me.

"I need you" he groaned.

"I have and alway will love you Opie Winston but sometimes that is not enough" I said running my hand along his cheek.

"It is enough" he said pleading try to change my mind.

"I am so sorry Opie but it's not. I would have fallen you to the end of the world and back but you cheated on me and I left. It's to late for us now"

"Holly don't say that please" he begged.

I leaned up on my tippy toes and touched a soft kiss to his lips. "Your kids need to you" I said in almost a whisper before I pulled away from him for good and heading off in the direction of the drive in exit. Tears poured down my cheek as I forced myself to keep walking and not turn back to the man who had broken my heart once before and who I knew had a broken heart of his own at the moment.

Half way to the exit I stopped. I was convincing myself to turn back to him. I wanted to run to him again, I wanted to take his pain away. I wanted to his again.

Just as I stopped and spun around towards him, I could see a slight smile seem to cross his face. Before I moved another step my phone rang loudly cutting the connection between us. I wanted to ignore it but I forced myself to slip it to me ear.

"Babe I need you" Juice's voice called out from the other end.