Hey, I'm back. Sorry, this chapter is a little on the short side. It was actually longer but I cut almost three thousand words because I didn't like the way the chapter was flowing. The portion I cut will actually be used for the next chapter. As I stated last chapter, I am very aware how crazy and erratic Naomi has been lately. I have to say, it will probably get worse before it gets better. Thank you to anyone still reading this story for sticking with me. When I feel like giving up on it, I stick with it not only for myself but for anyone who might still be interested. Hope all is well. MUAH! XOXO
Chapter Twenty Eight
"So, what is our game plan for Mrs. Donovan? She keeps insisting that we implant all four eggs at once, but I don't feel comfortable with that" Naomi said as she and Jake reviewed the files of the patients they would be seeing that day.
Several seconds went by without Jake responding. Naomi finally looked up from the file and was startled to see Jake staring dead at her. But his eyes had a faraway look. It felt more like he was staring straight through her than actually at her. "Jake".
Jake shook his head and came back to the present. "I'm sorry. What were you saying"?
Momentarily forgetting their patient, Naomi set the file down. Something was wrong with her friend. "Are you okay"?
"I'm fine. I just have a few things on my mind".
"Like what" Naomi asked nervously. The last time Jake had had things on his mind, they'd ended their romantic relationship.
Jake didn't know where to start. It was a sensitive subject and he didn't want to seem like the jealous ex-boyfriend. Instead of answering Naomi's question, he asked one of his own. "After we broke up, we promised we'd stay friends. So, are we? Would you consider me a friend"?
"Yes, Jake" Naomi answered emphatically. "In the short time we've known each other you've become one of my closest, dearest, and most trusted friends".
Taking a deep breath, Jake asked "then why didn't you tell me about you and Sam? Were you afraid I couldn't handle it? Because, that's not the case Naomi. If you and Sam are truly happy together, then I'm happy for you; for both of you". Jake's words were sincere. Deep down, he had always known Naomi and Sam would find their way back to each other. Everyone who knew them had reached that conclusion. That's what had ultimately made him decide to end things with Naomi. But Jake still wished he'd had more time to prepare. He didn't consider himself jealous per say, but fantasies of what he and Naomi could have shared in another life still played around the edges of his mind. And the fact that she hadn't felt comfortable enough to confide in him hurt. Jake didn't want Naomi to feel she had to keep anything from him or spare his feelings.
"There is no me and Sam" Naomi said cautiously, fidgeting on the inside. Where had this come from? Had Sam been running his mouth? Was the whole practice about to come swooping in on her and ask the same questions?
Jake offered up a wry smile. "You tried to cover it up but the hickey on your neck is telling a different story; that and the fact that I saw you and Sam coming out of the women's restroom yesterday".
Naomi immediately reached for her neck. She was cold busted. There was no point in denying it. But it was still important to Naomi that Jake didn't misconstrue what had happened. "Jake, it's not what you think. Sam and I are not back together".
"Then what is it"?
Taking a deep breath, Naomi confessed. "It was just sex". Holding up her hand, she continued. "I know how hypocritical that sounds considering the hard time I gave you when we broke up but I promise Jake, I didn't plan it. It just happened. No woman in her right mind plans to have sex with her ex-husband in a bathroom where she works. It was a huge mistake and if I could take it back, I would. It didn't mean anything".
Jake carefully considered Naomi's explanation. He wasn't sure she was being completely truthful; but it seemed like she was lying to herself more than him. "Speaking from experience as a man who used to date you, you're not one for casual sex".
"It wasn't casual; it was accidental".
"So, it happened only once" Jake asked skeptically. Suddenly, her odd behavior all week made complete sense to him.
Naomi broke eye contact and looked down. "Why do I have the feeling you already know the answer"?
"Because you know I do. What happened, Naomi? It sounds like more than an accident".
Naomi hesitated.
"You know what, never mind. I was just asking as a concerned friend but I can understand if you don't feel comfortable talking to me about your private life anymore. I wasn't trying to pry".
"No Jake, it's not that. It's just…I don't know; I don't know what happened" Naomi exclaimed, shaking her head in frustration. "Sam has the uncanny ability to continuously drive me crazy. Half the time, I can't stand to be near him. But lately, every time he comes around, my brain shuts down".
Jake noticed how jittery and frantic Naomi had become. "Why do you think that is"?
"The man is an expert at throwing a wrench in my life. I know Sam is not a malicious person and that most of the time he has good intentions, but everything he does creates more drama and strife. I have enough problems without him adding to it. He needs to figure out his own life and stop interfering in mine".
Jake was confused. What had Sam said to her to make her so panicky and defensive he wondered. Backing up, Jake tried a different line of questioning. "What is Sam's version of what happened"?
Naomi laughed harshly. "He says that we want each other; that the reason our relationship has been so up and down lately is because we've been denying our real feelings for each other. Clearly, the man has lost his mind".
Jake nodded but didn't comment. Silently, he started to put some of the puzzle pieces together. So Sam had finally stopped running from his feelings but Naomi was still running at full speed. The picture was starting to become clear.
"Wait, you don't agree with him, do you" Naomi asked.
"I'm not agreeing with anyone" Jake said diplomatically. "I'm just processing information. However, I will play devil's advocate and say this. If you weren't so emotionally invested in this, the logical side of you would admit Sam's explanation is very plausible. You two were married for over a decade; you have two children together. Why are you so quick to dismiss his theory"?
"Because we're over; we've been over and there's no going back. That's the only truth I know and accept. It was just sex. And last time I checked, sex and love were not the same thing" Naomi retorted, a little on the defensive.
"You're absolutely right. Love and sex are two different things. But your answer still begs one question. Out of all the men that I'm sure would kill for the opportunity to sleep with you, why revisit your past? Why was Sam the chosen one"?
"He wasn't chosen. It just happened" Naomi nearly shouted. Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm down. She didn't want to take out her frustrations on Jake; especially when she knew he was only trying to help. "Look, I'll admit this much. As much as I can't stand Sam, our history works in his favor. He still knows me well enough to push the right buttons to get certain reactions out of me. Also, during a previous encounter, I mistakenly let it slip how long it had been since I'd last had sex. And in my opinion, he caught me in a weak moment and took advantage of it. But past satisfying a physical need, it meant nothing to me".
"If memory serves, I caught you in a few weak moments myself and you never caved" Jake said mischievously.
"I guess you didn't push the right buttons" Naomi said, teasing Jake right back.
"Touché" Jake smiled before getting serious again. "But your statement further proves my point. There must have been part of you that wanted to sleep with Sam. If you really wanted to avoid having sex with him, you would have".
"Jake…." Naomi cautioned, growing weary of her of Jake's well-intended but annoying inquisition. Her patience was growing dangerously thin.
Jake threw his hands up. "Okay, Okay; I'll stop interrogating you. But let me just say one last thing. Let's just assume you're right. Despite Sam saying otherwise, let's just say it's only sex. I have to say, so what? What is the big deal? You're two grown consenting adults who made a spur of the moment decision. There's nothing wrong with that. And if you want to keep sleeping with him, there's nothing wrong with that either"
Naomi's eyes nearly bugged out of her head. "Are you kidding me? I am not about to be some rebound for him while he tries to get over Addison. He can spit all the crap he wants about wanting me but everyone knows he's still in love with her. Watching them fall in love was bad enough. Being his plaything until he moves on or convinces Addison to take him back would be seven levels of hell. I don't care how good the sex is". Naomi was practically breathing fire by the time she finished her rant.
There it was; the source of Naomi's real problem with truly considering what was happening between her and her ex-husband. Naomi wouldn't allow herself to be put any position that would compromise her heart again. Plus, part of her was still angry, scared, hurt, and pissed off. But Jake also instinctively knew that Naomi would never be truly happy again until she was ready to take the risk. Sitting quietly with her for a few moments, Jake gently grabbed her hand and finally said "If you don't want have sex with Sam again, that's completely fine. I'm not trying to encourage you one way or the other. As a matter of fact, if I let my ego speak for me, I would tell you to stay the hell away from Sam. But that would be selfish. What I was simply trying to express is that you shouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed about what happened. At the end of day, I just want you to be happy Naomi. I want you to do what makes you happy, no matter how scared you are".
Naomi sighed. "I don't know what to think or do anymore. I just don't know, Jake".
"Then take the time to figure it out. And whenever you need me, I'll be right here. You're my friend and I love and care about you".
"I love you too Jake" Naomi said, her anger leaving her. "And I take everything you say to heart. I promise to think about the advice you gave me. Thank you for being a shoulder to lean on even though it probably wasn't easy for you. But Jake, I can't handle this conversation anymore. Can we switch back to work mode"?
Jake squeezed her hand. "Okay. Back to Mrs. Donovan it is".
…
Naomi opened the front door that Friday evening and couldn't help but smile. Sam was kneeling in front of Isaiah and they were engaged in a tickling fight. Isaiah's squeals of laughter made Naomi's heart swell. Nothing made her happier than when her children were happy. No matter how many knocks she had against Sam, Naomi could never accuse him of being a bad father. Both of their children idolized him. "Looks like you two had a lot of fun" she said, a little stiffly. She hadn't seen Sam since the bathroom incident.
At hearing his mother's voice, Isaiah immediately looked up and pointed. "MAMA" he shouted with glee. He grabbed Sam's arm. "Dada…look…mama" he said, making sure his father saw Naomi.
"I see her buddy" Sam responded as Isaiah abandoned him on the doorstep and waddled into Naomi's waiting arms. He was feeling equally uncomfortable and unsure.
Naomi scooped him up in a motherly bear hug. "Hello, my precious Zay-Zay. How is mommy's baby boy? I missed you".
Isaiah hugged her back and gave her a big sloppy kiss on the lips.
Sam stood up and hesitantly stepped across the threshold. "Hello, Naomi" he said awkwardly.
Naomi regarded him cautiously. "Hello" she said quietly. "Thank you for getting Isaiah home".
"You're welcome. I can also put him to bed, if you don't mind. It will give us a little more time together since he'll be with you this weekend".
"Let's ask the little guy" Naomi suggested, breaking eye contact. She kissed Isaiah on the cheek. "Do you want mommy or daddy to put you to bed"?
"Uhhh….DADA" Isaiah squealed, clapping his hands together.
Naomi couldn't help but laugh at the way Isaiah actually contemplated his decision before answering. He was getting bigger and smarter every day. "Well, I guess that answers that".
Sam grinned. "I guess it does. Come on buddy, let's go" Sam said, as he reached for Isaiah. He started up the stairs with an overly excited little boy in his hands. "I have a feeling this might take awhile".
Naomi waited several minutes before trailing behind them up the stairs. By the time she reached the top of the stairs, Sam had already closed Isaiah's door but she could still hear laughter as she continued down the hallway to her bedroom. An involuntary smile crossed her face. Those two really were adorable together. It almost made Naomi forget how frustrating Sam could be; almost. Naomi rubbed her forehead, trying to clear her congested head. Between Sam seducing her and Jake advising her, she didn't know what to think anymore. How was she supposed to know what she wanted opposed to what others thought she should do?
Thinking a bath might help clear the stress of the week away, Naomi walked into the bathroom and filled the bathtub with hot water and aromatic bath salts. She dimmed the lights and lit candles all around. Slowly undressing and pulling her hair into a messy bun, she stepped into the steaming water and settled in, resting her head on a rolled up towel. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and exhaled. The heat and the softness of the bubbles instantly soothed her. Turning on the jets, Naomi let the water massage her skin and knead the tension out of her muscles. Feeling completely relaxed, she began drifting into a deeper state of consciousness as she contemplated what to do with her life.
…
Naomi opened her eyes with a start. She had no idea how much time had passed but the water was noticeable cooler. Leisurely, she rose and stepped from the tub, wrapping a fluffy white towel around her. She drifted back into her bedroom feeling lighter. The bath had managed to serve its purpose; mostly. While she felt more relaxed than she had in months, her situation with Sam wasn't resolved; but Naomi had finally made a decision about what she wanted. The only problem was her decision was dangerous and risky. Was she willing to take the gamble? Thinking about him so heavily, Naomi wasn't surprised when she saw Sam appear in the doorway of her bedroom. She had almost expected him to be there waiting for her. She studied him closely. "Is Isaiah asleep"?
It took all of Sam's concentration to keep his jaw from hitting the floor. Naomi was just so damn beautiful; he could all but imagine what was underneath her towel. His fingers began to actually itch with the desire to put his hands on her. But he used his self-restraint to stop himself from going to her and wrapping her in his arms. Because as much as he wanted her, as much as he had accepted that he still loved her, Naomi was not ready to acknowledge or reciprocate those feelings. Sam realized that if he kept pushing, Naomi's stubborn nature would only prevent her from figuring out her feelings. Though it severely pained him, Sam had decided to take a step back. Even if it took days, week, months or years, he was determined to wait patiently for Naomi to come to him. So he pushed his desires aside and answered her question. "Yes, he fought like hell but he finally fell asleep about five minutes ago".
Feeling nervous, Naomi grabbed a bottle of scented lotion off her dresser and sat down on the bed. Taking her time she rubbed and massaged lotion into every inch of her skin that the towel didn't cover. She needed more time before she made eye contact with Sam again. "Great. Thank you for putting him down".
Was it his imagination or was Naomi teasing him Sam thought. Whatever she was doing, it was messing with Sam's newly formed resolve. He had to get out of there. "No problem. I just wanted to say goodbye before leaving. So…uhhh…bye" he said nervously, before turning around to leave. But something deep inside him stopped him from going. He couldn't leave without telling Naomi that he was backing off, that he was going to respect her space. Sam also wanted to tell her how much he loved her but knew she wasn't ready to hear it. He turned back around. "Wait. I know this has been a rough couple of weeks for us; and for that I'm sorry Naomi. I don't want you to hate me".
Sighing, Naomi finally looked at him again. "I don't hate you Sam". It was impossible to hate him; not when he was the world's best father; not when she had spent half her life loving him. The love might've been gone, but she could never replace it with hate. Things would be so much simpler if she could; keeping her distance from him wouldn't require so much energy. The memories of having sex with him wouldn't be so potent and have her itching to feel him inside her again. Just thinking that made her feel like a hypocrite all over again. She had denied wanting to have sex with Sam, had claimed it was a mistake, and yet her body yearned for more. And now her brain had finally caught up. Just looking at him standing tall and strong in the doorway had the inside of her thighs heating up.
Not having any idea what Naomi was thinking, he breathed a sigh of relief. "You don't know how happy that makes me Nae. And I just want you to know that I promise to respect your space and wishes from now on. I won't put you in any uncomfortable situations anymore. You have my word. Have a good night" Sam said, turning to leave for real this time.
"Sam" Naomi abruptly called out, not wanting him to leave. She couldn't help but be surprised at his new attitude. Why hadn't he come closer, or attempted to touch or kiss her? "Please come back. I want to tell you something". It was more like ask something, a proposition. She had been doing a lot of thinking since her conversation with Jake earlier that day. Though she had given Jake every possible reason she could think of to deny wanting to sleep with Sam again, that's all she could think about afterwards. And after spending time in a hot bubble bath, it occurred to her that having a purely sexual relationship with Sam might not the disaster she thought it would be. Sam being on the rebound from Addison actually played to her advantage and not her detriment. Because while he was using her, she would be using him for her own needs too; and what she needed was sex with no strings attached. After having amazing sex, she couldn't go back to being celibate. She wasn't interested in dating and casual sex with strangers wasn't her thing. While Sam could be a pain in the ass, he was also familiar and he made her feel safe. Plus, the fact that he was still hung up on Addison meant she wouldn't have to deal with emotions getting involved. Sure, Sam was claiming that there was more going on between them, but as soon as she assured him that she didn't need love or feelings to have sex with him, Naomi was confident Sam would realize he was just projecting his feelings for Addison on to her. It was the perfect set up. The only immediate problem ahead was how to bring up the idea to Sam; she still couldn't help but feel a little nervous and anxious. It was still a dicey game and the stakes were still high.
"What is it" Sam asked, a little weary.
"I….I…I…" Naomi stuttered. She didn't know what to say. Well, actions spoke louder than words. And since he still hadn't come to her, she was going to have to go to him. So, Naomi took a deep breath and loosened her towel. She watched it drop to the ground before she looked back up at Sam.
Sam's body instantly responded to seeing Naomi in all her Nubian glory. But what the hell was she doing? He was finally backing off and now she was trying to seduce him? Why could they never get on the same page? "Naomi, this is not a good idea" he choked out, trying not to pant from wanting her so badly.
Naomi could see the desire in his eyes. It gave her courage. Swaying her curvy hips, she sauntered up to him, pressed her naked body against his. "Sam, you were right. I've been giving you mixed signals and a lot of things I've said this past week, I didn't mean. But after doing a lot of thinking, I know what I want. I want us to keep this little thing we've got going, with no strings attached. Why should we let emotions get in the way when we can just have sex, enjoy each other's company without any complications"?
"Because what I feel for you is more than about sex" Sam answered earnestly. He didn't just want her body; he wanted her heart too. He knew it was selfish after everything he'd put her through, but he wanted it all.
"So you keep saying" Naomi grinned, raking her hands up his chest. "But admit it; doesn't the idea of sex with no complications, no expected promises sound appealing? We can both satisfy each other's needs without the drama".
"Naomi…" Sam panted. He couldn't concentrate. All he could see was her beautiful face, all he could feel was her naked body, and all he could smell was her strawberry scented hair. "Please" Sam begged, not sure what he was begging for. His head was pleading for Naomi to stop distracting him with sex but his body was begging her to put him out of his misery.
Naomi nibbled on his ear, whispered "All you have to do is say yes, Sam. Agree to my terms of sex and only sex and we can get started right now".
This was a bad idea; the worst idea in the universe. It would not end well. Sam knew that. But what was he supposed to do? The love of his life was pressed up him with no clothes, touching him with her feminine, delicate, and soft hands. How was he supposed to find the willpower to say no; especially, when he didn't want to say no? He couldn't do it. Naomi was just too irresistible. Instead of making the smart decision, and waiting for Naomi to finally realize she still loved him too, Sam thought with his other head and gave into her demands. Picking her up off the floor and wrapping her legs around him, Sam drew her mouth to his and kissed her. "Yes" he whispered as he carried her to the bed.
You called it 'The Unnamed Avatar'...Naomi is now using sex as an excuse to avoid dealing. Even though Sam tried to take that option away, he's not strong enough to withstand her seductive powers, LOL. Only time will tell where it ends. I know they (and my writing) will eventually get out of their sex haze, but I don't when yet, LOL. Anyway, like I said at the top, thanks for reading guys! XOXO