Title: Duel Monsters Next Top Model (3/?)
Author: Mishiko Shinsei
Rating: NC-17 (eventually)
Pairing (s): Various
Beta: None
Spoilers: Minor for the series
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in Yu-gi-Oh, just the cracked-out stories I write about them.
Summary: Pegasus is crazy. He draws two other crazies with him, Dartz and Siegfried von Schroeder. Together the three make our beloved duelists an offer they can't refuse. Warnings for crack! and slight OOC-ness.
Week 0 – Part 1
Kaiba looks around the hotel banquet hall, glaring at almost everyone present.
'I can't believe this many fools showed up for this crap,' he smirks to himself.
In his scan, he spots Yami, Yugi, Jounouchi and Honda standing together near the far-right wall. His eyes narrow in annoyance as he remembers that the four men kept him locked up in the game shop's residence for two days.
"Yami even used shadow magic on me to keep me asleep! Asshole!" he grumbles, though more than a little half-heartedly.
After all, had those four not kept him there that day, he'd eventually have fallen asleep behind the wheel and crashed his car. With that thought comes the memory of Yami telling him that he'd allowed the Mutt to drive his new 95,000.00 Mercedes and he's pissed all over again. Forget that it didn't have a scratch; the blonde should never have been allowed to drive his car! Fuming, he glares harder in their direction, a part of him finding amusement in the Mutt and his pointy-haired sidekick trying to hide behind the defiant Pharaoh and his shorter look-alike.
Dismissing them with another sneer, he goes back to surveying the small crowd of duelists who seem intent on participating in this event. Just by knowing the prizes, he's sure that he can predict practically everyone's reason for competing.
'Bandit Keith, Mako Tsunami, that dinosaur twerp Ryuzaki and probably the former Thief King Bakura are all here for the prize money; and maybe bragging rights. Knowing how crazy Bakura is, he probably figures he can also wreak some havoc while he's here.'
'That and Ryou probably threatened him.'
Kaiba smiles to himself at that thought. Few people knew that the seemingly benign Ryou could turn into an icy voiced tyrant when he didn't get his way.
'Probably rub off from Bakura,' Kaiba muses.
Back to his scanning, he catches an unlikely set of four sitting together.
'Humph, that insect freak Haga probably just wants the bragging rights,' Kaiba frowns in thought. 'Then again, he might be shrewd enough to pick two percent of Industrial Illusions stock instead of the two million dollars in prize money.'
'Those DOMA losers are probably here because whoever is their new boss ordered them,' he scoffs to himself. 'Though that major flamer Amelda is probably here to ogle all the men and maybe to win the supposed wardrobe from a famous Japanese designer. Clothes hog.'
'That Valon was never good at taking orders, even from a man who could steal his soul, so I'm guessing that he has an ulterior motive as well. As cocky as he is, he's probably thinking about being on that calendar to show of his "good looks". Still, he can be just a crazy as Bakura, so he's probably here just to see what kind of crap he can pull,' the CEO surmises, his intense gaze moving between the redhead, and the armor duelist, all but ignoring the huge blonde, Raphael.
'Seig's little brother Leon is here for the same reason that he was at the KC Grand Prix; because his demented older brother told him to come. He's a spineless wimp, but I have to admire his loyalty to his brother, even if the pink-haired menace is a murdering, kidnapping, psychotic scumbag,' Kaiba nods in acceptance at the wide-eyed, younger von Schroeder.
'I don't know why that blue-haired, cheating freak Esper Roba even showed up. Pegasus couldn't have been desperate enough to invite him. He must have snuck in,' he snorts to himself.
His eyes land on the last two groups of men in the room and conclude that they're all forced participants like himself and the four idiots from the game shop.
'Rashid and Shadi are probably supporting Malik and Marik who are probably only here because Ishizu was snatched. Ryou and Otogi are probably here for those losers around Yami. Though Otogi probably wants the Industrial Illusions stock and the clothes too. He's just as much a parasite as Pegasus, but he hides it better,' the brunet assesses.
A door opens to his left, admitting a lone figure, to the collective shocked gasps of everyone present.
"No. It can't be," Kaiba drops his crossed arms and murmurs incredulously.
Dressed smartly in a dark Armani suit, the older Noa Kaiba smiles politely to all assembled.
"Now that the last of our guests has arrived, we can begin," a familiar, oddly accented voice calls from the panel of three now sitting at the front of the room.
Sheer willpower is the only thing that keeps Seto Kaiba from staggering back in shock at the sight of his DOMA enemy Dartz, sitting at the table between Pegasus and Sieg. His initial surprise is over-ridden by a sudden rage at the collected violators of his person and his company. The unexpected frowning form of Amelda appears in front of him, the redhead's firm grip on the CEO's forearms keeping Kaiba from knocking all bodies out of his way and strangling his enemies.
"As I'm sure you're all tuckered out from your travel here to Los Angeles," the annoyingly fruity tones of Pegasus Crawford lilts, "we will transport you and your luggage to one of my country estates to rest. Transportation will be back to get you at 10:00 am on Wednesday morning for your first photo shoot. Please enjoy your two days of rest."
"Don't be late or you will be immediately disqualified," the German CEO adds.
Kaiba is barely able to breathe through the black haze of rage settling over him.
As the participants head toward the exit, Kaiba finds himself restrained first by Amelda and then by Amelda, Yami and Jounouchi as they gather their belongings and follow the crowd.
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After riding along in the stretch SUV limo for a few minutes, reality catches up with the Kaiba Corp. CEO.
Noa is alive…
Noa Kaiba is alive!
"No, it must be a trick," he murmurs, knowing in his heart that it isn't, but unwilling to believe otherwise.
The other nine occupants look up at Kaiba's unintelligible musing.
"What're you mumblin' about there, mate?" The dark-haired aussie quips.
"It's none of your concern," the brunet sneers.
"I guess it musta been a real kick in the balls to see Dartz up on that platform, huh?" Valon ventures, haphazardly. "It certainly set me back a pace when he showed up at our house last month. I swear I nearly bust a nut when he said how much we could win in this stupid contest!"
"Valon, shut up," Amelda grumbles.
"Eh, make me, ya flamer! You're all cozy back there with the big, bad CEO. Is he your latest butt-buddy?" the rogue duelist grins.
That self-same grin is wiped from his face as the Tomb Robber collars him with a hissed, "Leave the prick alone, asshole! You're upsetting Ryou."
But it's only a temporary reprieve, as Bakura's outburst only seems to fan the flames of the irrepressible aussie.
"You care so much, Bakura." Valon grins slyly. "Maybe Kaiba's really your butt-buddy, hmm?"
"Why you…?" Bakura draws back his fist to punch the grin off of the former DOMA member's face.
He is halted by a gruff, "Enough!" from said CEO who'd been snapped from his mental loop by the escalating scene. "Not that it's any of your business, loser, but I am no one's "butt-buddy." I am only participating in this farce to get my brother back. And if I thought that I could accomplish that by helping Bakura beat you to a pulp, rest assured that I would!"
"Ah! It speaks!" Valon grins, unrepentant as he shakes out the collar of his jacket and shirt from where the now seated Bakura had grabbed him. "You'd been curled up like a wounded puppy for most of the ride. Just wanted to make sure that you were still alive!"
Honda, Yugi, Ryou and Bakura stare at Valon incredulously while Raphael, Amelda, Jounouchi, and Yami shake their heads at the brash duelist's actions.
With barely a pause, Valon launches into his second dangerous topic of the afternoon.
"Hey, wasn't that green-haired bloke, Noa Kaiba? I thought that guy died as a child."
This time it's Kaiba himself that Valon finds bearing down on top of him, the CEO's hand crushing his windpipe as several of the limo's occupants fight to pry him off.
"Never, ever mention that subject in my presence again," Kaiba growls dangerously. "Or I will kill you. Do you understand?"
All Valon can manage is a frightened nod, true fear coursing through his veins at the murderous intent swirling in Kaiba's eyes. At the other's affirmation, Kaiba's face flows back into its deceptively stoic mask and he releases the wide-eyed aussie. Shrugging off the uselessly restraining hands and arms of Jounouchi, Amelda and Yami, he calmly goes back to his seat in the rear of the vehicle.
A snicker to his left draws the still shaking spiky-haired brunet's attention.
"And they call me crazy," Bakura smirks.
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Stepping into the spacious front room of Pegasus' country estate, Kaiba reluctantly finds himself suitably impressed. The area is done up in a quiet peach with teal accents, the furniture a tasteful modern style accented by light cherry hardwood flooring that extends up the front double staircase to the second floor landing; definitely not what he'd expected from the demented cartoon duelist.
'Not that most of these barbarians have a clue,' he frowns distastefully. The bulk of the contest participants pour in the door behind him, complaining about the two-hour ride and scrambling up the stairs to find a place to put down their luggage and sleep.
With an irritated huff, Kaiba picks up his medium-sized suitcase and suit bag. Following a hunch and the soft curve of the cherry flooring around a corner to the right, he locates a spacious bedroom done up in dark blue with white and silver accents. A canopied, emperor-king bed adorns the wall closest to a set of large French doors. With two double beds on the opposing wall, a twin bed on the rear, and the three dressers spaced nearby, there is still plenty of room to walk around the room. To the right of the emperor bed Kaiba spots a spacious walk-in closet and next to that the entrance to what he expects is an equally spacious bathroom.
"Trust Moneybags to find the best room in the house," Jounouchi snickers behind him.
Ignoring the Mutt, the brunet strides into the room, noting several sets of footsteps following him. Taking advantage of the large closet, he hangs his suit bag and begins relocating the clothes he'll need in the morning from his suitcase into the built-in drawers. He'll unpack tomorrow if it appears that they'll be staying in that house more than a few days.
Slipping uncomfortable dress shoes from his tired feet, he gathers a set of pajamas and his necessary toiletries and heads to the bathroom for a shower. He'll then sleep off his jet lag and be wide-awake for breakfast in the morning.
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"So, I guess we're all staying in here, huh?" Jounouchi smiles as he drops his suitcase next to one of the double beds.
"I'll take this bed," Yugi chirps, flopping back on the comfortable twin.
"I'd have thought you'd share with Yami," Honda intones, wrestling Jou down onto the bed.
"Humph. Only someone who's never spent a night running from cold feet while simultaneously trying to keep the covers on some part of his body would suggest that," Yugi murmurs sarcastically.
"I'm not that bad," Yami huffs.
"Right. You keep telling yourself that," Yugi grins.
Laughter from the wrestling pair is cut off by a startled yelp in the shower followed by an enraged, "Get out!"
A wet, but gleefully grinning Marik stumbles out the bathroom door, clutching the softly glowing Millennium Ring to his chest.
"Love that invisibility power," he chuckles.
"You asshole!" Jounouchi snarls at him.
"Whatever, Mutt," he smirks, eliciting a low growl from Jounouchi. "He's still as hot as he was in Egypt, Pharaoh," He taunts, flicking a knowing grin at Yami.
At Yami's glower and threatening step forward he ducks out of the room laughing.
"That guy…" Jounouchi grumbles, flopping back on the bed he'd just been wresting on.
"Pay him no mind, Yami," Honda prompts, throwing an arm around the taller tri-colored man's shoulders.
"I'm not the one Marik should be worried about," Yami scoffs as he starts unpacking his bag.
Just then, a polite clearing of his throat draws all eyes to Amelda standing in the doorway.
"Um, it seems that all the other rooms are full. Would you guys mind terribly if I roomed with you?"