It felt like she was standing at his entryway for an eternity, but in reality, it was probably less than a minute. She looked at the sleek and modern espresso colored door that led into apartment 23B. His apartment. Her eyes grew blurry as she stared into the subtle rings of the door's wood grain almost as if she were under an hypnotic spell. She was acutely conscious of how frantically her heart was beating.
She knew why she came here, she was always meant to come here - to him.
Her courage was waning though, she cursed at herself for not letting the doorman announce her visit, then perhaps she wouldn't be standing here debating whether to leave or comply with what her heart and body were demanding her to do.
So... she knocked. Four quiet knocks, but loud enough to be heard. She sucked in her breath and waited….
The door swung open and there he was, her fantasy dressed in a faded grey t-shirt and blue jeans. Her eyes averted downward as she nervously fidgeted with her fingers before she had the strength to raise her face to meet his.
Jack was surprised to see her and all he could utter was one syllable, "Kate?" Without speaking, she determinedly walked through the doorway, past him and into his apartment.
Now it was Jack's turn to feel his heart race. He took one step out and scanned the hallway, whether he did this to make sure she was alone or because he didn't want anyone to see her go into his apartment was unclear even to him.
Kate was here, in his apartment.
He rubbed the back of his head, stepped back in and gently closed the door behind him. He walked into his living room and saw her standing in the center of it with her back to him. He couldn't imagine why she was standing a few feet away, but he knew that he wanted her here.
For a full thirty seconds he studied her.
This was crazy. She shouldn't be here. It was … wrong.
His shoulders sagged as he sighed, long and deep. Hesitantly, he approached her and lightly touched the back of her shoulder before asking, "Kate? Hey, is everyth-"
But his question was interrupted by her moist lips recklessly pressing onto his.
His eyebrows rose in shock, this was so unexpected - it was insanity. He knew he should tell her to stop, but was too afraid that she actually would. And who was he kidding? Hadn't he already set the wheels in motion when he offered himself to her? He knew he couldn't keep denying the growing excitement and attraction he felt each time he saw her. From the beginning he had been drawn to the physical perfection she presented to him, but there was more too, her intelligence, grace and self-possession - she was a breath of fresh air. She was simply … Kate.
The heat of her small frame forced his eyes shut and rendered him unthinking.
Kate sighed, his tongue felt warm and tasted so good - she responded to it, silently begging for more. Instinctually, like she'd kissed him a dozen times before, she stood on her toes to better cup his face in the palms of her hands and draw him further into her mouth. Her thumbs rubbed in small circles along his stubbled cheeks and she opened her mouth wider, erasing any trace of innocence from it.
She had no idea where this sudden surge of strength came from as she pressed herself against him. But she was going to go with it. For the first time in her life, she was going to break the rules.
Jack surrendered.
His arms slid down to her hips, allowing her tongue full reign to explore his mouth.
Months and months of mental turmoil were all due to the petite figure flushed against him, but it still couldn't stop him from drawing her closer and allowing his right hand to curl around her back and trace that hint of bare flesh above her belt.
They stood there and kissed until they felt heady, chests heaving and in need of air. They paused, their foreheads touching as they looked into each other's eyes. Jack's expression was oh so vulnerable, yet mixed with raw desire.
How often had he thought of this moment. Of her willingly coming to him … wanting him.
He almost pulled away. He knew that this was nothing short of recklessness. He still could stop it. He should.
But instead his eyebrows lifted in painful question, laden with hope.
She tipped her chin and nodded her silent response to that invitation he made in the kitchen two days ago - YES.
Wordlessly, he gently took her hand in his and slowly led her towards his bedroom.
Kate's eyes darted all over the room before resting on his bed. Heat bloomed all over her body but seemed to concentrate in the hand that was held by his. Jack tugged at it, urging her to take a seat on the edge of his mattress.
He didn't want to want her. But he did - more than anything. He angled himself so he could face her, noticing that she looked apprehensive and as if she was not allowing herself to breathe.
Trying not to hyperventilate, Kate placed her small hands on her lap and looked downward as she nervously played with her knuckles.
She wanted him, she wanted it to be him.
But now, suddenly, it felt so real. She snuck in another nervous glance, taking notice of the color of his walls, the chair in the corner with a pair of pants strewn across, the mirror over his dresser - looking at anything but the man sitting inches away from her.
Jack watched her suck in her bottom lip and continue to play with her fingers.
Her state of unease was becoming increasingly apparent. So Jack placed a finger under her chin to tilt it up so he could look reassuringly into her eyes, to let her know that she was in control and that whatever she wanted to do was okay with him.
She released a shudder under his hand that had now slid up to the side of her face. Through his eyes Kate briefly caught her own image and wondered how she appeared to him at that moment.
A waft of maleness infused her nostrils, the smell different from before, edged with a raw intensity that began to envelop her senses. Suddenly her tongue felt thick and dry.
But before she knew it, his mouth was hard on hers, his tongue sweeping and searching. He pressed long, wet kisses down her neck and throat, and her body was responding to every move he made and it scared him.
Jack pulled away, sounding as if the air had been swept out of his lungs, he whispered "Kate." He could barely get out her name.
Jack knew that if they continued like this there was no going back.
He didn't want to turn back.
His hand stroked her side and then, very tentatively, his fingertips brushed the right side of her breast. Kate tore herself away and without breaking eye contact with him, her hands were in front of her striped shirt. With trembling fingers, Kate touched the buttons, undoing them one at a time. Jack was mesmerized, his mouth agape as she exposed new skin inch by slow inch for his eyes to feast on. Her shirt fell open and she shrugged it off her shoulders while Jack's gaze wandered to the lavender lace bra that held her small round and shapely breasts, it took all his strength to force his eyes towards her face again.
The sight of Kate spurred him on and Jack could feel his arousal strain against the front of his jeans, he couldn't remember ever getting so hard by something as modest as the sight of a woman in a bra. But she wasn't just any woman. She was the one that has been front and center of his sexual fantasies for the past seven months.
He hiked his shirt over his head and tossed it off to the side. He leaned towards her and gently pushed her back onto the covers while nudging them up to the middle of the bed. He lay down beside her and his breath was warm to her cheek as his lips moved from the corner of her mouth to the pulse of her neck. His hands roamed the length of her body in search of her curves and hollows before resting on her breasts.
"You're so sweet and soft," Kate heard him murmur as he nuzzled and pressed kisses along the top edge of her bra. His hand moved to unhook the front clasp of her bra and he relished in slowly slipping it away from her torso.
Jack released a deep exhale when he saw her breasts freed. He admired their perfection and palmed the softness before dipping his head to take a quivering pink tip into his mouth. She moaned at the contact. Immersed in them, Jack sucked and teased her nipples while adjusting his body so he was now fully above her. He nudged her thighs apart and rested his pelvis there. She groaned more loudly now and arched her back in encouragement while savoring the newfound sensations he was giving her. She could feel the prickly hairs of his chest tickling her while he rubbed his hot erection against her molten center.
Kate tentatively moved her hand down in between their bodies and reached for the button of his jeans. Jack sprung into action, raising his hips to enable her access while his hand immediately went to the buckle of her belt as he deftly unfastened it. Excited, they both unzipped each other's jeans and pushed them down and off their legs. Jack paused to take in the sight of her, at her freckles sprinkled across her cheeks, her swollen lips, her stomach and long legs.
"You are so beautiful," he whispered.
Kate's eyes watered as she replied in earnest, "So are you."
Jack moved his face to hers and gave her a kiss so deep it took her breath away. Kate released a muffled moan and her hands roamed from his shoulders down to his backside and finally give a firm squeeze. This was the final bit of encouragement Jack needed before reaching for the elastic of her matching panties. He cupped the palm of his hand over the thin fabric and pressed down. As her heat and dampness soaked through, he sucked in a deep breath and moved his head down to kiss her taut and quivering stomach. He looked up at her face and her eyes went wide with hesitation.
He shook his head and tried to keep in the light chuckle that was fighting to escape his lips. "Kate, I know you're nervous, but you need to know how amazing I think you are. I've never wanted anyone like I want you right now," he said reassuringly.
Hard, ready and feeling a little more than impatient, he gently tugged her underwear down and moved his hands in between her thighs to push them apart. He sucked in his breath, at the sight of her so intimately exposed to him and knowing that it was completely new to her. He gently stroked her soft inner skin and she gave an instinctive purring sigh as his fingers worked their way through the patch of brown curls to find her source of pleasure. He moved his fingers but now with more insistent pressure and felt her seep wetness onto them while she rode the build up of sensations. Kate's pelvis strained upward against the strokes of his hand and she was overcome with an aching need for release.
Jack leaned over to kiss her stomach, laying a trail of kisses while his mouth moved lower, finding the indentation of her navel, then traveling lower just before feeling her tense up and quickly draw her thighs together with instinctive shyness. He seemed to catch himself, and his body slid slowly and reluctantly upward over hers.
Maybe he was moving too fast, but it was hard to remember that she hadn't done any of this before. And … he was so tired of only imagining what she tasted like. It was time to finally find out.
Wearing the softest of expressions, Jack pleaded, "Kate, can you please trust me and let me do this? It will feel good, I promise… and I have to admit that I've been dying to try this with you since the day I first laid eyes on you. Kate, please…"
Kate's center nearly erupted in reaction to his sensual and indecent confession. She nodded, aware that with his knowledge and skill, he probably knew more about her body than she did. But it didn't make her feel less bare and open, but she closed her eyes and drew a deep breath letting him slide his hands under her backside and push apart her legs.
He pressed tiny, tender kisses along her inner thigh before settling his tongue deeply into her softness. She jolted at the sensation and Jack easily held her hips in place as he pressed and dragged his tongue against her searching for more of her taste. She rested the top of her forearm across her eyes and let the thoughtless emotions take over. The sensation was wild and exquisite, nothing she had ever experienced could compare to this. When his teeth grazed, sucked and nibbled at the swollen bundle of nerves, her tense hips arched and she released an incoherent cry before going limp.
He rose on his elbows to better look at her. Her face was flushed and her chest heaved enticingly to meet her shallow breaths. This was amazing, she thought, and her breath was wet when she sighed, "Oh my god, I had no idea, that was so..."
Her response made him smile, but he paused a second, the question on the verge of his lips. He needed to be sure. Slightly hoarse, he asked carefully, "Do you want to make love?"
Her eyes softened along with a smile, "Yes."
Jack didn't need to ask twice and he moved towards the nightstand and rummaged through its contents. His movements perhaps betraying his eagerness more than he would have preferred. Kate watched him stand next to the bed and kick off his boxers. She stared at him and couldn't believe how perfect looking he was - everywhere.
Smiling, Jack kneeled on the mattress and made his way towards her. He followed the direction of her gaze.
"Kate, do you want to touch me?" He asked, his voice tender.
Kate squeezed her eyes shut and threw her head back into the pillows and let out an uncontrollable nervous giggle before she could face him again. Leaning back on her elbows she shyly told him, "I do, but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do, I haven't done that before… I don't want to ruin this."
"Kate, you're not going to ruin anything."
Kate's admission reminded him, again, that despite her gorgeous looks, she was very innocent; how no one had managed yet to get her into bed was a mystery. He told himself, to take it slow with her, even though the throbbing and aching pressure below his waist was telling him to do the opposite. He reached for her small hand and wrapped it around him. The contact made his breath hitch.
Bringing her hand along with his, he began to teach her the stroking motion. They worked together and the idea that her untaught hand could inspire such excitement from him, someone much more experienced than her, aroused her senses. His eyes fluttered shut and his breathing became erratic before he abruptly stopped her movements. He was approaching too quickly and he couldn't remember how long ago since the last time, but knew it was long enough.
Kate raised her eyebrow and looked at him questioningly.
"Yeah Kate, I think we need to stop now. That was really good, too good, actually," he laughed with a slight squint in his eyes.
Jack gave a quick peck to her temple and gestured for her to lean back on the pillows so he could place himself between her bent legs. He rested his hands on her knees before reaching over for the condom and tearing the wrapper. With unblinking eyes, she watched him roll it on. Her nervous anticipation was increasing.
This was really going to happen.
Jack softly stroked her knees and inner thighs, "This might hurt a little. I'll try to be slow and gentle, but I promise that it'll feel better next time and even better after that. But if it's too much now, just tell me and we can stop and take a break, okay?"
Kate barely registered his words because she had stopped listening after he promised that there would be a next time.
He placed a sweet kiss on her lips and on the tip of her nose. With his knees between her thighs, he slowly lowered and angled himself allowing only his tip to enter. His finger dragged across her crease one more time, finding her dripping wet and seemingly ready. He looked for a final reaction from Kate before he began to slowly move deeper and when he was about halfway in, Kate sucked in her breath and squeaked a tiny, "Owwww."
The feel of him stretching her made her see stars and she fought to remain calm and not bolt out of the bed. She bit her bottom lip and squeezed her eyes shut.
Looking down at her face, Jack saw her obvious distress. "Kate, you need to take it easy and try to relax, we're almost there, okay?" A wave of guilt washed over him, Jack didn't want this to be so uncomfortable for her and he took a quick glance downwards, the way his larger body hovered above, nearly consuming her petite frame and, suddenly, it did seem that he may be overwhelming.
She nodded, signaling to him that she was okay and to keep going and when he pushed in deeper she felt a hot, searing flash of pain. The sting made her clutch his arms just below the elbows. Blinking a few times, she needed a moment to process the burning sensation - she couldn't believe how much that hurt.
Jack noticed a few tears corner in her eyes before pausing to ask, "Kate, do you need me to stop? I promise to stop if that's what you want. Kate?"
She shook her head adamantly, not wanting to prolong this unnecessarily. She quickly breathed, "No … please, don't stop. I'm fine." Taking another deep inhale, she added, "Really."
Jack let out a heady mixture of a sigh and groan of relief. He was so far gone now, from the tight feeling surrounding him, he wasn't sure he actually would be able to stop. He lay motionless for a minute, embedded in her, connected to her, letting her adjust to his thickness. Unexpectedly, he was the one that now felt nervous. Jack had no delusions that he would get her to climax from the act this time, but he certainly didn't think it could be traumatic either. He had never been someone's 'first' before and a new undefined weighty pressure made him feel like he had only one chance to get this right.
It was better to just focus less on his insecurities and more on her, he decided. But still, he really wanted this to be a pleasurable experience for both of them.
Feeling tiny puffs of his breath hitting her cheeks and lying still beneath him, Kate was stunned into silence.
She did it … finally.
Kate rode the discomfort out, until the stinging pain finally yielded to a mild throbbing and then disappeared.
He kissed her, teasing and nipping at her bottom lip, trying to get her body to relax further and no longer struggle against him.
Her muscles started to slacken and the tension seemed to be unwinding, so Jack started to move again, gradually picking up his pace as he slid himself deeper.
His movements became more steady and deliberate in their effort to seek out his own pleasure. His breathing was hard … and she could hear him murmur words into her hair: How much he wanted her, how hot and sexy she was, how good it felt to be inside her.
She blushed.
Soon … and it was about time … almost as if triggered, her body was now suddenly awake, moving beneath him in a rehearsed rhythm, accepting his urgent thrusts while his groans became louder in response.
Kate wondered where her body had stored all this hidden knowledge - because she seemed to be doing something right… and what did that say about her? She opened her eyes again to see that his face was rapt looking, his eyes almost black as his body sought out that final release. Kate's breasts bounced from the force of his lovemaking and she felt lightheaded.
Her thoughts were racing and incoherent. So this is what it's like. This pushing in and pulling out, a collision of hot centers … what it's like to be with a man.
Jack's ragged breathing came faster as he excitedly dipped his mouth to lick and tug at her hard nipples. Even in his fervor, he marveled at the wonder of her, the cute little pleasured moans she released, the wrinkling of her nose, the way she arched her pelvis and gripped his shoulders. He quickly adjusted his arm under the back of her knee so he could drive in deeper and harder. He released a tiny shudder at the familiar feeling of nearing the edge.
"Kate!" He said one last time.
And with three hard final thrusts, he finished his motions and released a low gratified groan as he finally let go. His head dropped to the space just above her shoulder, breathing heavily, he rested lightly on top of her, doing his best not to squish her before rolling onto his side and scooping her into his arms. He dotted tiny kisses along her jawline, ear and finally on her lips. He looked at her expectantly and then his face lit up in reaction to her big warm smile.
"Jack, I always knew it would be you."