Chapter Nineteen
I think I like you.
That sentence was still echoing inside the ears of both Gaara and Sakura. They stared at one another, their faces red and expressions the same while they absorbed each others shock. Both were waiting for the other to speak, to drown out the sentence that rang in their ears that the young lord had dared to reveal. Everything seemed to freeze in the room, including the two. The only thing that was unfazed by this sudden revelation was the small pile of sand that continued to dance and swim around Sakura's hands. The ticking of a clock could also be heard, and the rain tapping on the windows ever so lightly. As the minutes passed, Sakura decided to speak first.
"W-What did you just say?"
Even though she had heard the source correctly, doubt was heavy in her mind like a sinking rock. Gaara liked her? Didn't she just spend a good amount of time on the training grounds reasoning why he couldn't, and wouldn't, have affections for her? It was going to take a lot more from him for her to be convinced to toss those explanations out the window, even though a part of her was cheering that a guy she liked might, for once, share the same feelings.
When Sakura asked him to repeat himself, Gaara felt his face heat up. What had this pink-haired wonder done to him? When he had his mind set on telling someone something, their presence never deterred his thoughts. Never did he blabber out confessions he was uncertain about. Her emerald eyes had tricked him once more, devised him into thinking he held fondness for her. When his gaze set upon her, he was reminded once again of the night before. Especially their kiss. His first. He was also informed of the unconditional kindness she had showed him so quickly. He expected nothing but ill will towards him from her from the start. How could she not, he had tried to kill her at one time? How could she easily show him her sweet smile, and uplifting thinking, when he brought nothing but pain to her in the past? How could she look at him with sparkling eyes when he deserved less than her dull gaze?
He deserved nothing from her but hate. It was surprising to him that she was so readily to help him, and offer him her friendship, when he could not return the same help and had a hard time showing the same friendly relationship back. He was beginning to feel guilt. He had surely soured their friendship now, and Sakura was certainly upset with him with how much he had pressured her last night. To hear this confession was also probably scaring her away. Once again, his graceless upbringing had lost him another precious person. She would definitely run away from him now, and he would only be remembered by her as some freak.
With this sudden realization, Gaara stood himself quickly. He had to flee from her once more. As much as she deserved it, he couldn't bring himself to answer her. She was confused, but so was he. He didn't understand this attraction he was having towards Sakura. He wanted her by his side always, but at the same time feared her judgment of him. He wanted to be as beautiful in her mind half as much as she was in his, yet he trembled at the thought of telling her these words. In the past, things as confusing as her were crushed in his sand so he no longer had to dwell on the thought of them. The idea of Sakura disappearing forever scared him though.
"I have somewhere I need to be." He finally managed out.
"Please excuse me."
To his sudden departure, Sakura dropped her eyes to the ground below her. Before Gaara could fall victim to her solemn looking expression, he forced his eyes away from her and rushed towards the door. Opening the threshold, he was about to leave her, but stopped when a soft whisper reached his ears.
"I think I like you too."
Her voice had been so soft, so quiet, that Gaara doubted he had heard her correctly. The grip he had on the door's handle tightened, and from the damage Gaara had done to it earlier, the knob threatened to break off completely. Luckily, the redhead was so anxious for Sakura to repeat what she had just said that he let go of the entryway and turned to face her. He stared at her while her back was turned to him and she was focusing her attention to the grains that danced in her hand. His eyes were round and his mouth had dropped slightly again before he asked.
"What did you just say?"
To his question, Sakura slightly smirked.
'Brat.' She thought.
She had half a mind to just walk past him and excuse herself instead of answering him. Like he did to her just now, she should just reply to him that she had somewhere to be when they both knew she didn't. As much as she wanted to, she knew doing just that would just make this confusing situation all the more perplexing. Plus, she didn't think that would go over well with Gaara. The last thing she wanted was to be stepping on the Kazekage's toes. So instead she turned to face him. When her eyes locked with his, she had hoped a smile would come, but instead the corners of her mouth simply twitched nervously to his anxious stare.
Sakura took a moment to study him, trying to remember when and why it was these familiar feelings she had for Sasuke were focused towards Gaara. There was always common ground between her and Gaara. When he spoke, she listened. When she spoke, he listened. It was rare for Sakura to find anyone who invested themselves like he had with her. He also had a mature level that matched with hers, perhaps even more so. The rosette admitted she enjoyed the company of his intellect conversations. It also seemed like from day one he was looking out for her. He had taken her shopping her first day here while later on protecting her from the sandstorm. Despite the rocky nights when he would take his sleeping pills and attack, Sakura could see the concern he held for her even before they had become friends. It would never leave her mind how Gaara would set plates of food inside her room when she would be too tired to show up for a meal, just to ask her later how she felt and if there was anything on his part he could do to make her more comfortable. She knew those things were more than just hospitality on his part.
The night he trusted her became the first night of their friendship. He allowed her to touch him, and he trusted her now as much as she trusted him. It was surprising for her to think how short of time her feelings had grown for him. She remembered being fearful at the formal event when women surrounded Gaara, she was ready to admit now that she had been jealous and wanted to tear him away from them to claim him as her own. Even though she stayed quiet about it, and sat by her lonesome, she felt giddy knowing he sought her out and came to her. Though it may be thinking too deep on it, it was nice and content knowing the Kazekage pushed everyone else aside just to come sit next to her. He had come to her, and with cake, that was always a plus in her book. It was also another fine example of how much he listened and took to heart her words. How many other people could remember her love of the sweet treat?
When he sat with her, she could see his concern for her again when she hinted the night hadn't been as fun as she had anticipated. To her surprise, he again went out of his way to make her happy, offering his hand to her for a dance. It was a dance she would never forget. While he twirled her around the room, his compliments were never ending. He spoke of the kindness she had inside of her, and how lucky he was that she even noticed his existence.
'Funny.' Sakura thought.
'I've always wanted his recognition as well.'
She remembered how his words had sent her into a euphoric high, never had any man spoken those gracious things to her. How could she not grow close to someone who treated her like no man had treated her before? Since chasing her precious Sasuke, she wondered if all men, like him, simply ignored the fondness woman, like her, tried to show. She had grown accustom to thinking that Sasuke's ignorance was the only type of warmheartedness she was ever going to get. Yet, Gaara was here proving all that wrong. He was even going that extra step and admitting to her first how he was growing attracted to her. She was suddenly reminded how she had tried to kiss him during their dance, how her inelegant act had all lead up to this point.
'Maybe that attempt wasn't all in vain.' Sakura thought.
It was then Sakura found that smile she wanted to show him. Her twitching lips ceased and they instead curled up, and her eyes had grown brighter the more she thought of Gaara and all the good he had show her. It was then she realized, and could admit, that yes; she did indeed have feelings for Gaara. She didn't mind that her first kiss had been with him, and in fact, at that moment felt herself wanting another. There was no more, I think, to what she had just told Gaara. She was confident enough tell him now, no matter what consequences would ensue if any.
"I like you." Sakura said.
She studied Gaara carefully for his reaction. The shock from before only intensified in his face, and minutes passed as he stood frozen in his spot. Sakura was kind enough to let that information sink in, no doubt it surprised him too when her face lit up and her smile grew.
"Though last night wasn't what I would call romantic, I really did appreciate your apology and..." Sakura said before stopping herself.
She was still a little nervous to readily admit that the kiss they shared yesterday had been amazing. That when he had suddenly become possessive of her, she felt the butterflies in her stomach dance. Her only wish was that Gaara's feelings towards her from yesterday were still as strong today. She hoped the alcohol hadn't deterred any of his thinking. Sakura took a deep breath in and sighed, trying to ease her nerves and finish her sentence.
"And," she began again, "I'm really happy my first kiss was with you."
At her age, Sakura had done her best to rid herself of her young school-girl antics she use to show when Sasuke was around her; but as she made that sudden confession, she to hide her red face from Gaara. She had no idea a confession like this would be so nerve racking, yet she knew as the adults they were, feelings like these needed to be open and addressed. She was not so ready to be chasing after another like she was with Sasuke and needed Gaara to know how she felt. However, when she saw his jaw close and his eyes become more serious, Sakura had to tear her eyes away. She was just too bashful, and also worried that Gaara would not feel the same as she. Maybe he thought their kiss awkward.
"That kiss," Gaara finally spoke, "was also my first."
To his words, Sakura brought her sheepish eyes back to Gaara, she watched him step closer to her with a small blush on her face. Sakura had a hunch that it had also been Gaara's first kiss, but was still happy to hear it straight from his mouth. Something inside of her became a little possessive him, the thought of him sharing a kiss or these feelings with someone else made her want to shield him away from the world. Was this why he kept calling her his yesterday night, had these emotions been running heavy in him too?
Gaara's steps came to halt in front of the bashful rosette. Wavering, her eyes returned to him while trying to read his expression. The shock and anxiety etched on his features earlier were now unraveled. He looked calm, collected, and his eyes shone with what she could easily recognize as happiness. There was even a small smile daring to lace up his face that made Sakura all the more self-assured. He stood tall in front of her, and as she continued to stare into his beautiful eyes, the more her mind grew dizzy and throat voiceless. What had this young lord done to her? She had never been the shy type, yet while staring up at him, she wasn't sure whether to grin or puke. Her nerves were rattling inside of her.
"This is new to me." Gaara confessed.
"Never have I looked at someone like I do you."
Bringing his finger up, Sakura was surprised by Gaara's boldness as he brushed a strand of her hair behind her ear. Even that small act made her knees shake and her eyes avert from his.
"Does that mean everything that happened yesterday..." Sakura had to pause, still timid at the thought of how intimate they were last night.
Before she could finish her sentence, Gaara took another step towards her and Sakura's eyes returned to his. She could almost feel herself drowning in his beautiful, teal gaze. Usually they held no emotion as he carried on in his passive ways, yet she was able to see a sparkle of hidden feeling in his pupils while he lost himself in her emerald look.
"I don't know anything about romance, but I agree yesterday was inelegant on my part, and for that, I'm sorry."
Sakura opened her mouth to speak, to tell him he needn't worry and that alcohol was to blame for that role. She was just happy to hear his truthful, and sober, words now. However, she fell short and shut her mouth when the back of Gaara's hand gently swept across her blushing cheek.
'What the hell?' Inner Sakura trembled.
'When did he suddenly become so bold? He's barely touched you on his own accord before! If he keeps this up, it's going to be last night all over again!'
"However," Gaara continued to speak, "I do not regret anything from yesterday."
Sakura's eyes widened and wavered, studying Gaara's face hard and only finding sincerity in his look.
"Gaara." Sakura whispered.
Gaara's mouth dropped lightly to the call of his name. He had to admit, he felt his body tingle every time he heard her speak his name, and wondered what it all meant.
"I know I like you." Gaara finally admitted, making Sakura's heart flutter.
"However, I'm not sure what this attraction towards you is, or where it will lead to."
Gaara brought his eyes down, narrowing his brow bones as the confusion he spoke of washed over him. He knew of the love two people could share with one another for the rest of their lives, but always doubted his capability of finding, and actually feeling, that sort of love. He knew of the caring love everyone had deep inside them from his people of this village. He knew of the accepting love from his family, Temari and Kankuro had shown him that. From Naruto, he learned what forgiving and teaching love was from their friendship. In time, he had grown excited to know Sakura was offering that same patient love that Naruto had given him. Yet, as he stood here, he admitted deep down that he wanted more than that from her now, but still unsure what love that was.
"I want you to be something more to me." Gaara spoke, his eyes still on the ground.
"There's something inside of me that wants to learn new things with you, but I don't know what those things are."
Sakura watched as Gaara's eyes narrowed, perhaps anger was building inside of him from all this confusion. She felt for him while she watched him struggle for the answer in his mind, and she had to wonder.
'Is Gaara even capable of deeply loving another?'
It hit her hard once again realizing all that he was robbed from learning and experiencing in his youth, and she couldn't stop herself when she reached out to cup his cheek. At her sudden touch, his eyes widened and slowly she gently guided his gaze to hers.
"Hey," She gently cooed, "everything will be alright. I'm confused about certain things too, but I think we both know for certain that there's something more to us than just friends."
Gaara's eyes went round to Sakura's words of wisdom. He was grateful he had discovered this new found feeling in the rosette. Where he was new and confused to the concept of certain feelings, she was there to guide him. Even if he disliked not being in control with situations, he was satisfied knowing Sakura was there to show him the way. He was comforted too in knowing that she was somewhat just as lost, like him, with these new feelings. It made him feel all the more normal, even when he was reminded everyday that he was not born to have that sort of life.
She made him feel all the more normal. She made him happy.
"Sakura." Gaara whispered, bringing his hand to cup her cheek in the same way she did his.
They stared into one another eyes, silently admitting to themselves how beautiful the other was and how lucky they suddenly were. They took a moment to swim in the pools of each others gaze before Gaara could no longer hold back and made the first move. From her cheek, he brushed the back of his finger to the back of Sakura's ear and head. The young woman watched as his mouth parted slightly and his head tilted while he began to close the gap between them.
"Kiss me." He murmured with eyes glazed.
Understanding his notion before he even spoke it, Sakura tilted her head and dropped her mouth in the same fashion. She closed her eyes and waited for Gaara to connect them. She couldn't help but shiver at the way he was whispering her name, or how urgent his demand sounded as he told her to kiss him. When she felt the redhead's lips meet hers, her body relaxed and melted with his. Where she had her hands on his cheeks, they slowly began to wrap themselves around his neck, pulling him closer.
Gaara let their kiss linger for some time, savoring the taste of the rosette while feeling a new euphoric wash over him. While he admitted his first kiss had been exhilarating, there was something very gratifying knowing they kissed now because their feelings were strong for one another. That, and the fact neither of them could blame all this on alcohol. Thus, Gaara felt this kiss crashing down as a wave of new high all over him. He could feel his body trembling lightly at this new elated feeling he was experiencing. It was also making his heart race in a way he only experienced in a battle, and in time, reluctantly pulled back from Sakura's lips. Though he didn't want to end the kiss, it made him both scared, and curious, what new things he would feel deep inside him if he allowed her lips to intoxicate him more.
Without saying a word to the other, both of them settled their foreheads against the other. Their breathing was short and heavy while they tried to catch their breaths, and both shook lightly as they continued to ride on this new high. Their eyes were shut as Gaara focused on the way Sakura's arms were laced around his neck. She was gently rubbing her finger against his warm skin, and he wondered if this was her silent way of coaxing him to relax, or showing affection. Either case, he admitted enjoying her physical interactions with him, and in turn wanted to run his hands on her too, but held back in fear of chasing her away.
"Gaara."
Gaara's eyes flew open to her small call, and he felt his breath caught in his throat when he stared into her half-lidded eyes. There was something suddenly dreamy about her look, and the craving that twinkled in her eyes made him almost completely lose the fear he had of running his hands up and down her body. Before he could reply, he watched as her juicy, plump lips inched for his again. He was transfixed as she made her way to his buds and studied her for a second when their mouths met. He wanted to try to read her expression as she drowned herself to his taste, but after that second found it impossible to do so. That high was returning, and slowly he shut his eyes to ride on this natural ecstasy.
'Damn.' Was all Sakura think as Gaara pressed his lips a little harder into hers.
She had always wondered what drove two people to deep intimacy quickly, and why they craved it nonstop day and night. She always thought of herself as being one of those woman who could push her lover aside at any time, to decline a kiss in public, or show affection when only she wanted it. However, as Gaara again deepened the kiss, she realized now why people were so eager to jump and snuggle in bed. She admitted to herself she could keep this going well into the night, if he let her. It too didn't seem to matter anymore if it was in this office, in his room, or out in the pouring rain, she just wanted to have him every second and anywhere. To the thought of kissing Gaara in the rain, Sakura could feel herself shiver. In her imagination, the Kazekage would have forgotten his shirt while droplets traveled down his lean muscle, and he would beckon her for her lips while holding her tight into his wet chest. Sakura smiled into the kiss as her imagination went wild.
It was only when Gaara snaked his arms around her waist, and pulled her roughly into him, did Sakura's fantasy disappear and instead focused at the kiss at hand. While he mashed his body more in to her, their kiss becoming more desperate for the others taste, Sakura was happy to know only she had ever made him this way. It was her who drove these new feelings into him, her that made him take that extra step he had no interest, or was too afraid, to take with anyone else; and it was her who made him wild for her lips. She let out a heavy sigh while suddenly digging her fingers deep into his hair, and this new physical touch made Gaara's high increase.
Pulling his lips back, the redhead mentally grinned when he saw how wet her lips were from his. He studied her for a second, her eyes were shut tight as she let a sigh escape her before she fluttered them open to meet his teal orbs. As their gazes locked, Gaara's eyes went round.
She had that look.
It was a look no one had ever sent his way, and his chest pang for a second as he took in her dreamy orbs. Never had he seen her as beautiful as she was now, and as he drowned himself in her eyes more he began to understand the message they were telling him.
'I want you.'
As if her eyes didn't already work their charm, Sakura slowly dragged her tongue across her lips and he could tell she was savoring the taste he and her could make. That was it, he decided. He wanted, no, needed more.
"Couch." He rasped out into her ear.
Sakura squeaked when, in one swift motion, Gaara picked her up into his arms. She giggled lightly, amazed at how easily Gaara could lift and carry her. She was surprised when, instead of setting her on the soft fabric, he opted to keep her in his lap while nestling himself comfortably onto the couch. She shifted in his lap to make herself more cozy and brought her hand up to his chest before staring up to catch his gaze. She was going to ask him if he was alright with her sitting on him like this. Surely her weight would make him uncomfortable in his seat, but before a peep could escape, his lips came crashing down on hers. The desperation, and intimacy, was still going strong in him even when he broke the kiss to nestle them more comfortably.
It took the rosette a minute to reach the same enthusiasm that he was in, but given how his lips pressed hard against hers, eager to savor in her mouth again, she could feel her heart quickly race and reach its peak. As soon as it hit, she again wrapped her arms around his neck and brought his leaning figure closer to her. She was practically pulling him into the kiss, though he was happy to oblige and grinned in his mind when Sakura shuddered in his lap. At her bold move, and trembling figure, Gaara felt his excitement rising and wanted more still.
Sakura watched as the redhead pulled back, their eyes locking while she tried to catch her breath. When their gaze met, she held her breath as Gaara let out a low, feral growl in his throat. His chin even hitched up a little, yet his eyes remained glued on her. He was still drowning himself in her emerald gaze while she tried to understand what the sound he emitted meant. She was quickly reminded of that time he licked blood off of her when she had brought him lunch. Carnal she had called it then, and found no other fitting word than that to describe him now.
'How carnal.' She thought.
That word for most would scare them away. To think the person that held them in their hands was like a wild animal. Yet for others, like Sakura, it only excited her more. She could also feel her head swelling knowing only she made him this way. Something inside of her wanted to see how wild Gaara could become. With that thought, she nudged her head towards the redhead again, lips puckering and waiting for his reach. She closed her eyes as soon as she saw his mouth drawing towards hers.
Gaara it seemed though had other plans, and Sakura's eyes shot wide open the minute she felt his tongue drag slowly across her buds. Before she could ask, or try to comprehend what the motion meant herself, his head buried itself in the crook of her neck. There, she could feel his lips and tongue brushing against her delicate skin, but what made her begin to slightly panic was the sudden bulge under her. Though, she couldn't blame the young lord. This new touching, and kissing, had made her just as heated and worked up as him. However, she knew there was no way they could give into each other now. This, like yesterday, was all too new and soon.
"Gaara." Sakura found her voice, her hand pushing his chest away from her.
To her call and touch, Gaara pulled back. As there eyes met, Sakura watched as his gaze wavered with worry. He was always so cautious with her, Sakura thought amused. Quickly, she threw him a gentle smile so he could relax.
"As...fun as this is," Sakura said with a blush.
"Can we maybe slow it down a bit?"
Gaara could only stare at Sakura, trying to bring himself to her same mentality.
"I know I like you," Sakura added, "but this is just day one. It's sort of overwhelming."
Though he wanted nothing more but bury his lips again into Sakura, and maybe convince her otherwise, he had to admit she was right. She was his only guidance anyway, and did not want to hurt or push her into something she'd regret later on. He did not want to make her rue her decision in him, nor lose that beautiful smile of hers. So, he nodded at her.
"You're right." He added.
"I'm sorry."
As Sakura scooted from his lap to a seat next to him, she scoffed at his words.
"Trust me." She murmured.
"There's nothing to be sorry about."
Their gazes met one another again, and Gaara felt his breath escape as she graced him with another of her bright smiles. It took all of his restraint to stop himself from kissing her again.
"I've never felt so energized." Sakura said, wondering if she could work off this new found vigor back into the training grounds.
After her words, silence filled the room, though it was not awkward for either of them. The two were simply happy sitting next to the other while relinquishing on the thought that someone actually liked them. In time, it was Gaara who broke the silence, a small sigh escaping him as stood and turned towards the rosette.
"You should return home now, Sakura." Gaara spoke, offering a hand to help her stand.
Taking his hand, Sakura was about to protest. She was going to argue that she could behave herself, and that they still had lots more to talk about. She couldn't speak for the young lord, but she still had many questions she needed answered. However, as she stood, she peeked past Gaara's shoulder. On his desk, she could see a pile of papers and remembered right away his place here and how much work he seemed to always have. There little romp, yesterday's too, no doubt had put him even more behind in his never ending work as Kazekage. It hit her hard then too.
'The Kazekage likes me… The Lord of Sand literally had me in his lap and kissed me.'
Before Sakura could dwell on the thought, she shook her head. She smiled at Gaara one last time before marching towards the door.
"You're right. I should probably leave you to your work. I know you're busy."
The young woman wanted nothing more than to kiss Gaara goodbye, but held back for fear it would lead them back to the couch. Gaara must have thought the same, or loss his courage, for he nodded acknowledging her departure.
"I will see you later tonight then." He said while sweeping himself over to his desk and chair.
'Ah! That's right. I still have a job to do, don't I?'
Turning back around, Sakura smiled.
"Work always comes first, doesn't it?" She joked lightly.
Staring at Sakura's smile, Gaara simply blinked a few times at the rosette before tilting his passive head to the side.
"Work?" He questioned.
To his dumbfounded look, Sakura became confused. Had he forgotten why she was here?
"Well, yeah." She explained.
"Remember, your insomnia."
Gaara nodded and made a silent o face, recognition washing over him. At that sight, it was Sakura's turn to tilt her head in confusion.
"What were you talking about then? What did you mean by seeing me later tonight?" Sakura asked.
"Something..." Gaara trailed off for minute, searching for the right words.
"Something that definitely would not help with sleeping."
To his words, Sakura's face heated and cheeks turned red.
'He couldn't possibly mean...'
Shocked, and staring at him still, Sakura finally spotted the glint of mischief in his gaze. She could tell a small smirk wanted to lace up his lips as well. He was teasing her again.
"You're right!" She huffed, cheeks deepening in crimson.
"You're not funny at all!"
As Sakura slammed the door behind her, the smirk Gaara stifled slowly etched upwards. She definitely made him happy.
A/N: Again, another big, huge thank you to SakuMiChanNoGaara, who made yet another drawing inspired by this fic. Thank you my friend, your art inspires me to write of these two. Your talent is beautiful darling.