Title: The Theory of Useless Brothers I

Author: Rea Treoni

Rating: T

Characters: Damian Wayne, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Maps Mizoguchi.

WARNINGS: small language, age up, mentions of sex and stuff.

Requested by: Pixie07

Note: A lil bit shippy on MapsDami Ship? Sorry about that, it just happened, but is nothing major, pretty light. Also, the ages are a little up: Damian 15, Tim 24, Jay 29, Dick 31. (Remember, not canonically correct, just my best guess)

Disclaimer: I don't own any Batman related character. They are DC Comics's.

Jason Todd was just passing through, okay?

It was totally not his intention to catch a glimpse of his baby brother's room through the small gap the half open door made and see his fifteen years old brother on the floor, talking animatedly with an unknown human form besides him (definitely not Titus, because the small form didn't had a tail). If the small mysterious extra person in Damian's room wasn't enough to spark Jason's curiosity, the fact that Damian was smiling and laughing along with it definitely did the trick for him.

It can be said that he literally bolt from the hallway straight towards the Batcave, where he knew his other two brothers were currently training. Without a single warning the antihero burst into the training room, making both heroes to jump in surprise.

"Guys, Damian – He was – with someone – SMILING, GUYS!" Jason rambled on, waving his hands around not knowing what to do with them, while Tim and Dick just shared a concerned glace between them before focusing on their brother.

"Damian what, Jay?" asks Dick carefully, eyeing his brother with an arched eyebrow.

Jason rolled his eyes and grabs both of their wrists, pulling them and guising them upstairs.

"You need to see this."

Ten minutes later, the three brothers where pushing each other so they could see a better view of the inside of their baby brother's room through the small gap in the door.

"Jason, your knee is digging up to my waist." Complains Tim, trying to shuffle a little and escape his brother's knee.

"My knee? Your bony elbow is digging on my back, Replacement, try eating something else than coffee." Shots back Jason, sending him a dirty glare from his place on the ground.

"Guys, hush! You're going to blew our cover." Hisses Dick on the side, the only one smart enough, and flexible enough, to fit perfectly in the knot his brothers made.

After a few more grunts and kicks, three pairs of eyes stared at the scene in front of them. They watched as Damian, their grumpy, scowling, angry, sarcastic baby brother, laughed and smiled brightly at something the figure next to him just said.

"Is it a Pokemon?" Asks Jason, narrowing his eyes, searching for anything on the small girl short haired that might prove his theory.

"Maybe it's a new pet? A really big pony?" suggests Tim, shrugging.

"Maybe it's just Colin? He hasn't been in the Manor for a while." Whispers Dick, not really that convinced.

Damian's visitor had their back on them but that changed when Damian shoved it on the shoulder, making the figure to go backwards and landing on its back. Three pairs of eyes widen at the revelation that the School Uniform of Gotham Academy revealed on the chest area.

"You are kidding me…" gasps Tim, jaw open in shock.

"A girl. I mean, that's close enough to prove my Pokemon Theory, but a real life girl?" Jason hisses, rubbing both of his eyes in attempt to make his vision clear.

"When did Bruce adopted a girl?" Wonders Dick, frowning in thought; the thought of having another little sister wasn't that bad, and Cass would love to have another female presence.

Their throw and back of theories went for a few seconds until Damian's female visitor shoved him back and hugged him on his side. The trio froze.

"Is she hugging him?"

"Is she willingly hugging him?"

"Is he blushing?"

Jason and Tim's eyes widen at their eldest observation, and gaped in shock as Damian made a face but a clear soft blush covered his cheeks, letting out a small weak 'tt'. Their jaws drop even more when the girl just giggled and leaned forward.

"Wait, is she getting close to his cheek?"

"Is she trying to kiss him?"

"Oh my gosh, these kids want to get pregnant!"

As soon as the girl's lips as much touched their brother's cheek, the three of them were on their feet.

"Woah, woah, woah, woah!" exclaims Jason, as he burst into the room, waving his arms around. Both teenagers jumped at the sudden interruption.

"Todd, what the hell are you doing?" exclaims Damian, this time red with rage.

"Preventing you of making a mistake, Demon! Your hormones are getting the best of you!"

Damian just got redder.

"What –!"

"Honestly, kid! I'm all into the sex and all that stuff, but I'm pretty sure you don't even have condoms! Now if you could just ask, I may be able to spare one I have on my walle –"

"TODD!"

"What Jason is trying to say!" interrupts Dick, placing himself between the two brothers before Damian jumped at the antihero "Is that we haven't meet this lovely young lady over here! Why, hello there, Miss…"

The short haired girl blinked at the extended hand the older man was offering her and after glancing at Damian in a quick motion, she shook it softly with a firm hand.

"Mizoguchi, Maps." She says with a small soft smile on her face. "Nice to meet you, Mister …"

"Grayson, Richard Grayson Wayne, if you want to be exact but please, call me Dick, no need of formalities!" he says, flashing her a bright smile that Maps was quick to return. "I'm Dami's oldest brother, the best one and the favorite."

Jason snorted behind him. "No need to rub it on out faces, Dickhead."

Dick just grinned at his brother. "It almost sounds like you are jealous, Jay."

"Shut your face, Pixie Boots."

"Hi, I'm Tim, I'm the least favorite." Said Tim nonchalantly, waving slightly. Maps frowned at that while Damian just nodded, crossing his arms.

"You got something right for once, Drake."

Tim flipped him the finger as an answer.

"And over there we have, Jason!" Points Dick, passing a arm over Map's shoulders, ignoring Damian's sharp inhale of breath. "He's the brooding dramatic sheep of the family but don't let the pout fool you, I have caught him singing Disney songs in the shower."

"You're running my image, Dick!"

"And of course, you have met Damian who is –"

"Incredibly close in killing you right now unless you explain yourself on why you three imbeciles are still in my room." Cuts off Damian, scowling as hard as Bruce does when one of them played a prank on him, his arm hanging a little bit too close to his favorite katana on the desk besides him.

Dick shrugged, unfazed by the deathly glare. "Well, Dami –"

"Stop calling me that."

The former Robin ignored him. " –We were just curious about what you guys were doing."

"Also wondering if we were going to be uncles anytime soon."

Both teenagers' faces burned in embarrassment as Dick sent his brother a flat look and Tim face-palmed himself.

"Jason!"

"Well, at least I was!"

"As I was saying –" pressed Dick, changing the subject smoothly "We just wanted to know if you guys needed anything for your …uh."

"Study session, Grayson." Supplied helpfully Damian through gritted teeth as he rubbed his temple in exasperation.

Dick nodded happily "Yes! Study session, yup! Anything you guys need? Some more books? Notebooks? Snacks?"

Jason fake coughed behind him "Condoms."

Several knives went flying.

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM, NOW!"

"I didn't even do anything!" exclaims Tim offended as he ducked some of the knives on his way.

"We will be near if you guys need anything!" rushes Dick, jumping and ducking the weapons "Like, really, really near, literally next door!" he emphasizes carefully, sending a warning glance at his baby brother, who glared darkly at him.

"Remember, kid, the first time is always the hardest and the penetra – UGH!" Jason's yell was cut off as Dick successfully tackled him on the floor in the hallway.

"You're trying to get us killed, Jason." Sighed Tim, catching his breath against the wall.

Hope you liked it!