The third week of med school was almost over and her life had been a whirlwind of sorts.

Twice, on the first day of school, she nearly broke down and called Jack. Kate had never felt less like herself, a new feeling of being completely overwhelmed by … everything and she found herself desperately needing to hear his reassuring voice. Needing for him to tell her that she would adjust and that everything would come together. The course load was daunting and beyond what she expected.

And Jack managed to finish med school in three years?

Why wasn't here? Everyday, she asked herself that question. And it was met with the same answer: Because you left him.

Every waking hour was spent in the library or in a lecture hall. She lived on her own now, Nikki went to grad school down south with her boyfriend Paulo, her other friends had started their careers. Kate wasn't in the mood to live with strangers, so she decided to be by herself and rent a tiny studio apartment in one of the school's student housing developments. Her home was small, but equipped with what she needed. She spent most of her waking hours at school anyway and every Sunday she would meet up with Sam.

Each night Kate would flick on the TV and channel surf. With a pang in her heart she would usually think of Jack laying in bed, imagining his head resting on his ivory colored pillowcase, his eyes closed, jaw slack in relaxation. And usually after about twenty minutes or so, Kate would take the remote, drop the volume to a purr and fall asleep.

Slowly, because it had taken a long time, but she had become accustomed to the emotional pain that wracked her stomach and the rest of her internal organs. She missed him in an unbearable way. There were times she was actually barreled over by the force of it.

Her life now: Sleep, shower, school, and the library. It was her new existence - monastic in a sense.

One Saturday afternoon, exhausted from sleep deprivation, Kate dropped her face onto the library desk, so the pages of her textbook now pressed to her cheeks. She remained like that for a long time while trying to wait for that pins and needles feeling to disappear. There was so much to learn. Too much.

"I hear it gets better."

Lifting her head and trying to locate the source of the voice, Kate's eyes stopped looking when her eyes were met with a pair of pale blue ones. Kate gave a puzzled look that read: what are you talking about?

The woman paused. "Med School. I was told it gets better. But then again, they're probably full of shit." She released an airy laugh that made Kate laugh too.

Kate looked at the open textbook sitting on the woman's adjoining desk, it was the same as hers. She tipped her chin at the book, "Scintillating reading, right?"

"Oh yeah." The blonde chuckled. They were quiet for a second, clearly empathizing with one another in their mutual torture.

"My name's Kate by the way, " she said as she extended her hand for a shake.

"I'm Juliet. Nice to meet you Kate."

Jack stepped into the crowded and loud restaurant, and as he made his way towards Marc who was sitting at the expansive bar, he awkwardly ran his fingers through his slightly longer hair. He didn't look at anyone, or attempt to make eye contact before sliding into the barstool next to his friend.

Marc yanked his head back in surprise, "Whoa, dude. I see you went all out to doll yourself up for me tonight." Marc was clearly referring to Jack's five day beard that made him look older and exceedingly tired. The wrinkled jeans and t-shirt didn't help either.

Jack didn't need to hear it from Marc. He knew what he looked like. He looked like shit.

All the countless hours spent at the hospital or in the hospital library had taken its toll. Over the past few months he had dropped nearly twenty pounds and deep shadows had formed under his eyes.

Irked by Marc's ribbing, Jack leaned on his reluctance to even be there in the first place, so he huffed, "I can leave, I almost canceled anyway." He had no desire to be at a bar, the only reason he came out was because Marc practically begged him. And his father had essentially forced him to take a vacation, so he had no valid excuse to shoot him down.

"Fine," Marc said, and mimed a shrug, a gesture that said who's he to judge? But Marc was worried nonetheless. He had noticed that Jack hasn't been the same since Kate broke up with him. Marc slid over the beer that he had ready waiting for his friend.

Jack sighed as he realized that there was no way he would get Marc to understand that Kate is the first thing he remembered when he woke up, the last thing that drifted through his mind as he fell asleep. That during each day, while making rounds at the hospital, thoughts of Kate intrusively came to him, almost obsessively, and invariably with a jolt of pain. That just moments ago he checked his watch to see what time it was in New York and countless times everyday he would calculate this time difference. That he was always checking the weather app on his iPhone, but was only interested in the temperature in New York.

Five years, to the day …five years…Kate walked into his classroom and changed his life forever. He knows now what he didn't know then. He fell in love with her that very moment he first set eyes on her. He desperately wanted to change things. There wasn't a week that went by that he didn't contemplate boarding a plane to New York and risking everything all over again. But shortly after he would decide that he needed to wait ... for her ... when she was ready.

Suddenly and quickly... Jack then realized that he does want to drink.

The urge hit him like a tidal wave. But he didn't want to drink in a festive, jovial way. No... he wanted to get shit-faced, drink to the point where he could undergo an appendectomy and not feel a fucking thing.

At the bar, they sat quietly for a while, but it was almost too long that they sat in silence. So Marc tried to fill the conversational vacuum, "All those crazy hours you're putting in, you must be kicking surgical ass, huh? I bet you're gonna put your dad out of a job in a few years."

Jack chuckled, but it was done out of habit. He mouthed a thanks and slumped lower in his chair, cradling the now empty beer bottle in his hands.

"A Grey Goose martini, dry with olives," Jack said to the bartender who came to take his order.

They talked for a while. Marc taking special care to not broach any subjects that can lead to the sensitive topic of Kate.

Jack reached for his glass again, but saw that it was empty and looked to the bartender for a re-fill. He then scratched his bearded chin and smiled slightly, "I met Kate for the first time - five years ago - today." Jack said it almost wistfully.

"Oh," Marc responded impartially, before taking another sip of his drink. Marc then added, "Yeah, it's strange, I almost forgot that you were her teacher." Marc never prodded Jack into revealing when his feelings began to develop for Kate. But Marc suspected that Jack had the hots for her pretty early on. And he had a stranger feeling that the two of them were probably getting it on before she graduated. And that whole concept blew Marc's mind away because Jack was always the goody-two shoes out of their group of friends.

"I'll be right back. Gotta use the bathroom." Jack rose unsteadily from the stool, the five drinks visible in his gait as he made for the bathroom, a slight buzz now having taken up residence in his head.

Once finished in the restroom, he carefully, threaded his way back among the noisy tables to find Marc standing at the other side of the bar, talking animatedly with two women, their backs to him.

"Hey, man," Marc cheered looking over his shoulder as he saw Jack approaching them. He aimed Jack at the two attractive blondes standing next to him and made introductions. Jack shook their hands, but his eyes were averted. He forgot their names in a matter of seconds, but he probably wasn't paying much attention in the first place.

Jack downed the last of his drink and planted the glass against the bar counter, "Hey. Uhhh … listen, Marc-"

Knowing what Jack was about to say - that he wanted to go home, Marc interrupted, "How about we head to the place across the street?"

The shorter blonde announced, "I'm drunk."

Marc wiggled his eyebrows, "You hear that, Jack? Stephanie is drunk. As a medical physician, you can't leave her in this state. Wouldn't that violate the hippocratic oath or something?" Marc winked his eye while doing his best to have Jack play along, but judging by the foul expression that came across his friend's face, he was failing miserably.

Shut the fuck up, Jack thought.

Jack eyed Marc with a hint of hostility and in a mocking voice answered, "Yeah, that's the first thing we learned in med school." He shot him another look before finally relenting, "Fine, Marc … one drink."

They closed the tab and began to amble their way up the busy L.A. boulevard when the neon sign caught Jack's eye. He stopped in front of the dingy looking storefront and contemplated.

"Yo, Jack. C'mon," Marc hollered over his shoulder, the sounds of the noisy traffic making him almost inaudible.

Jack didn't bother to shift his gaze, "Go on. I'll catch up with you guys in a few minutes."

"Jack?"

"I said that I'll be there."

Marc shrugged his shoulders and urged the girls to continue down the sidewalk.

Jack stepped into the tattoo studio and looked around. It was small, there were two artists, a female and a male. It smelled of a combination of cigarettes and a dental office.

The brunette was busy working on a client when the man approached.

"Hey, what can I do you for?"

Jack rubbed the back of his short hair before answering, "I'm thinking of getting a tattoo."

"Do you have something specific in mind?"

"No, not really. I mean, I'm not even sure I understand why I have the urge to do this -"

Another white boy from the 'burbs thinking he can be all badass by getting some ink.

"Well, think hard, man. Cause they're permanent. Or at least a pain in the ass to remove later on. Why don't you look at the pictures on the wall for some ideas."

Jack walked over and began to scan the colorful designs, none really catching his eye. "Uhm, excuse me. What do people usually get?"

"Everything man, you'd be surprised. Why don't you take a seat and we can figure something out."

Jack took the nearby chair, his heart beginning to thump a bit wildly. He could hear his father now. Christian would tell him that he was crazy and begin to list the risks: skin infection, allergic reaction or worse, tetanus, hepatitis B and hepatitis C.

He didn't care.

"My name's Jack." He wasn't even sure why he offered that information.

"I'm Miles. So, this is your first tat, huh?"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Yeah, you're too old to be a drunk fraternity guy. My guess is your old lady left you."

"Thanks." Jack released a harsh laugh, his pathetic emotional state was even obvious to a stranger. He immediately looked away, feeling very much like damaged goods.

"So before we get started, I need you to fill out these waiver forms." Miles then handed the document and a pen for Jack to review and sign.

Jack didn't bother to read them, instead he simply signed the release documents.

Miles looked at Jack, "My only recommendation is to not ink her name. I can't tell you how many times, dudes would have to come back and have me fix it."

Jack began to pull off his shirt and then settled back into his seat. He pointed to his left shoulder and flatly said, "5."

"What did you say, man?"

"I want you to ink the number five on my shoulder."

Miles shrugged, "That's cool and easy enough. You know, since you're getting a tattoo, I can give you a piercing for half price."

"Yeah, I'll pass on that." Jack chuckled.

The initial needle prick stung and for the next ten minutes or so it was painful, gradually giving way to a numbness. But he preferred the pain, enjoying to be able to finally focus on a different type of pain, something manageable. Instead of the torturous agony of all things Kate.

"So why did you pick the number five? If you don't mind me asking." Miles inquired while working the hand-held tattoo machine into the muscled cup of Jack's deltoid.

Miles's question interrupted Jack's distant thoughts and brought him back to the chair, "Huh? Oh, yeah… today is the fifth year anniversary of the day I met her." Jack released a tiny wince just thinking about Kate.

"It gets better man."

"People keep telling me that."

Miles snorted, "I was referring to the pain in the shoulder from the needle. But yeah, that too. That sort of pain gets better."

Jack woke up on the sofa sprawled on his stomach still in his shoes, one arm dangling over the edge. His face was puffy and the ridged pattern from the couch cushions was imprinted on his forehead and stubbled cheek. He gingerly sat up and dropped his face into his hands, wanting aspirin for his headache, but feeling too lazy to go to the bathroom to get it. He winced at the soreness coming from the rounded muscle and the memory flooded back. He carefully lifted the sleeve of his shirt to expose the tender and raw skin of his shoulder emblazoned with the large, swollen, angry looking blue "5".

Jack shook his head, in part, for his act of spontaneity and in part because he was now resigned to the fact that he may never be over her, and that was something he was going to have to learn to live with, the heartache of being in love with someone you couldn't have. The proof of that was now etched on him forever.

Kate slid into an empty booth in the school cafeteria. She was starving and hoping Juliet would be there soon. She began to remove her jacket when a tall male form assumed the empty seat in front of her.

"Well … howdy."

Her ears perked up at the sound of a flirtatious southern lilt.

Kate couldn't help but release a smirk. It was that guy … Juliet's guy or at least the one she had an eye for. Juliet had elbowed and nudged Kate on several occasions when he would step into the large lecture hall. They nicknamed him "Southern Comfort." Kate agreed … he was cute and his dimpled cheeks were charming.

Kate shrugged her shoulders, "Hi."

"So what's your name Freckles? My name's James, but my friends call me Sawyer."

Freckles?! Wow, this guy was also a comedian?

Rolling her eyes, "Hello James." She made it a point to emphasize that they weren't friends. "My name's Kate."

"Sooo, Kate -"

Kate looked to the entrance of the cafeteria and then quickly interrupted, in a voice that almost sounded conspiratorial, she informed him, "Okay, James. Here's the deal. Do you see that beautiful blonde that is approaching this table?"

Sawyer looked over his shoulder and released a grin, "Yeah."

"If you have any smarts and good taste, when she approaches the table … you're gonna ask her out."

"Oh, am I, Freckles?"

They were at a local bar celebrating Kate's twenty-third birthday. She didn't want to be there, but Juliet and Sawyer dragged her out under the guise that it was for her own good. She just wanted to get this day over with, it was the first one in five years that she hadn't spent with Jack. And yes, she was including her eighteenth birthday, when she got so drunk, she ended up sleeping in his apartment.

Kate was drinking beer, after the first one she felt better, and by the third one she felt half-good. But when Sawyer gave her the fourth, she found herself slowly nursing it, not up for this evening at all. She looked over her shoulder to see her friends engaged in a flirtatious conversation. Juliet and Sawyer, not surprisingly, had hit it off almost immediately.

They came from different worlds, she was a child of a divorce, but grew up in a very upper class lifestyle. But, the divorce didn't leave Juliet unscathed. She had become naturally cynical and distrustful in areas of love and romance. She had had a few boyfriends, but nothing meaningful.

Meanwhile, Sawyer's childhood was nothing short of tragic. In some cruel twist of fate, his father had become unhinged upon losing the family's entire savings to a ruse by a con-man. It was a murder suicide that claimed his father and mother's life. He was a young boy and hiding under the bed during the entire bloodshed. For years, he acted out and found himself in all sorts of trouble. His grandmother became exasperated with her trouble-making grandson and sent him off to live with a strict uncle and aunt in a small town in Georgia.

It turned out to be the best possible outcome for Sawyer. His new family helped him to work through his displaced rage and bitterness towards himself and others. Instead, with lots of patience and frustration, they were able to get Sawyer, a very bright boy, to focus on school and channel all of life's unfairness into bettering himself. And it worked, because after graduating from Georgia Tech with honors he was accepted into Columbia Med school.

Kate's heart warmed seeing how vibrant Juliet looked in his presence. They looked beautiful together, and she jokingly referred to them as the children of Zeus - a pair of Greek gods.

"Juliet, Sawyer. I think I'm gonna head home."

"Freckles, it's only 11:00, the night's still young and you're still sober."

Kate laughed involuntarily, "Not tonight Sawyer. The birthday girl wants some sleep."

He rolled his eyes in response, "Alright … wet blanket. Let's finish this round and I'll close out the tab."

A touch on her shoulder made her jump. Standing next to her was … Ryan Shaw.

"Hi Kate." He inched his face closer to her ear, ostensibly so he could be better heard in the noisy bar, but she suspected he was just trying to invade her personal space. She stepped back and that gesture made him smile broadly to reveal his very white and perfect teeth. His dark blue eyes sparkled mischievously. He was handsome in the kind of way she'd seen in movies and television. He had a slender and straight nose, a strong jaw and golden brown hair in a shaggy cut that lent him a California surfer guy vibe. His bangs would occasionally fall into his eyes and he would blow the offending lock by jutting out his full bottom lip and a releasing a puff of his breath.

"Hi Ryan." She said with an observable hint of irritation.

"So ... you do remember my name?" He was referring to the three times he had approached her at school in an attempt to engage her in a conversation and each time he was summarily dismissed. Which, of course, only made him more sexually infatuated with her.

"I have a good memory." She answered dourly. She looked around the bar, wondering where Sawyer and Juliet went and why they weren't rescuing her from this intrusion.

"I'm sure you do. So then why don't you say hi to me?" The dimple in his left cheek teased in and out and Kate briefly wondered if he did that at will. She was aware of his reputation. He slept around and she was amazed that he managed to make it into his second year of medical school considering how busy he was outside of the library. He was handsome and tall, but he also seemed exceedingly aware his good looks.

"Why? I have nothing to say to you." She rolled her eyes … again and bit the inside of her cheek. She averted her gaze to inspect the logo on the paper coaster resting beneath her drink.

Ryan looked her up and down, then his eyes rested on her half empty beer glass. "Well, let me buy you a drink and maybe you'll be able to muster up something to say to me." He thought she was adorable and … beautiful. He kept his eyes trained on her trim hips and the outline of her toned thighs beneath her fitted slacks. Ryan couldn't figure out whether she really was resistant to his charm or whether it was an act. He couldn't help but hope it was the former, as he never was one to walk away from a good challenge.

"Sorry. I was actually just on my way out." She lifted her shoulders in an ironic too bad, so sad gesture before reaching for her coat that was hanging on the back of her chair.

"C'mon, I think you have time for one drink -"

She interrupted, "I really don't. I'm going to bed."

He couldn't resist. With a flash of a devilish grin, his voice husky, he asked, "You want some company?" The liquor made his tongue particularly loose and bold. But he also knew that line would offend and shock her sensibilities - as it was designed to. But he also suspected that deep down she may like it a little, even though she would tell herself that she hated it. She was still a woman and one subject he was well versed in, was women.

The bottom half of Kate's mouth dropped at the unexpected proposition, she felt her palm itch and fought back the urge to slap him. Without even looking at him she hastily grabbed her jacket and roughly shouldered his torso as she walked past him.

Kate spotted Sawyer at the far end of the bar signing the receipt for the bill. She stalked up to him and got in his face, "I want to go home …NOW."

Ryan enjoyed eliciting that angry response from her and relished in watching her leave the bar in a huff with her two friends. And just as quickly, as he had cornered her, his attention was elsewhere. He craned his head to the other side of the room and made his way back to continue his earlier conversation with the sexy redhead - she had the hottest accent. It was Charlotte, right?

Juliet watched Kate walk over to the small stove and light the flame under the kettle. Kate stood on her toes and reached for two mugs from the cupboard and placed a tea bag in each.

"Ryan's really hot, Kate. He came up to you tonight. Why don't you just try to have some fun? You don't have to be in love, to have some good sex."

"Juliet, do I come across as that needy?" Kate asked. "Do I look that hard up to get laid?"

"Of course not. And who says it's necessarily bad to be needy. It's okay to need to be physical. You're gorgeous and he's obviously into you -"

Kate lifted her palm up, in a gesture that told her to stop it right now. "Juliet, I'm not interested."

She sighed, "Okay. So why don't you call him, Kate?" Juliet knew Kate's behavior was related to the ex-boyfriend ... Jack. And from the way Kate explained everything, she really couldn't understand why they were still apart.

Kate was now pacing in front of the tiny kitchenette. She could call Jack. She wanted to. She loved him so much.

Kate stopped and her shoulders slumped forward, in defeat and frustration. She let out a tiny painful sounding wail, "I can't!"

The kettle began to whistle and Kate ran over to lift it and make the loud sound stop. It was late, around 1:00 am and she didn't want to disturb her neighbors at this hour. She poured the hot water into the mugs and brought one over to Juliet. Kate then climbed into the small loveseat beside her.

"Kate, if Jack feels a fraction for you of what you feel for him … you have nothing to be afraid of. I bet he's dying to hear from you and has probably thought about you non-stop. I bet he's even thinking about you at this very moment and wanting to get in touch with you."

There was a slight pause. Kate leaned back into an almost dreamy numbness. She took a small sip from her cup as she considered Juliet's words, "Well, I don't see that happening."

It was late, but Jack didn't care as he walked back into that store. It was quiet and only Miles and his business partner were inside. Miles lifted his head upon hearing the chime of the door opening. He recognized that guy immediately, even though he had shorter hair and seemed to have at least shaved earlier that day.

He tipped his head in her direction, "Hey, Ana Lucia. Look who's back. It's Romeo." He then turned to face Jack again, "Let me guess, you're with a new girl and you need me to change that tat."

Jack smirked and rubbed the back of his head, "You remember me?"

"Yeah. The preppy guy with a broken heart. Judging by your expression, I'm guessing that you're still carrying a torch for her."

"How about, you stop talking and let's get started." Jack retorted.

"You want another tat? What's the special occasion?"

"It's Kate's birthday today. She turned twenty-three -"

"So you want me to ink a '23' on your other shoulder?"

Jack shook his head, "Nah, I mean - that's too obvious. Truth is I don't know what I want -"

Miles listened carefully, but didn't offer his usual wisecracks. For whatever reason, this guy was different. He could tell he wasn't a total douche or tool like most of his customers. He actually felt bad for the guy … well, as bad as you could feel for a good-looking guy that seemed to be well off.

"Let me see the tat I gave you." Jack was prepared this time, he lifted up his sweater and revealed a white sleeveless undershirt underneath. Miles looked at the '5' and it still looked colorful ... good, he asked "So, her name's Kate, huh? Have you seen her since you last came here?"

"No. She lives in New York, she's attending med school at Columbia -"

"Columbia? That's a hard school to get into, sounds like she's a smart girl." Miles commented, as he prepared the tattoo gun and the ink.

Jack chuckled, "She is. We actually have a lot in common. I'm a neurosurgical resident here in L.A."

Miles eyebrows lifted, "You're a neurosurgeon?" He shook his head. "And you're getting tattoos."

"Yeah."

Miles chuckled briefly. He then looked at Jack's shoulder again. "So you have no idea, what you want me to ink and where?"

"No idea."

"Do you trust me?"

Jack laughed, quirked a skeptical eyebrow, and answered definitively, "No."

"Well, you're obviously here because you're thinking about her and you want to keep her permanently close to you. So how about you tell me about Kate and based on what you say, I'll come up with something."

Jack shrugged. Why not?

An hour and a half later Jack looked at his shoulder, there appeared to be a semi-circle of dashes underneath the '5', they almost resembled hash marks of a compass dial. And underneath it there were some characters that appeared to be in Chinese. Jack raised his eyes suspiciously, "You said that you're Korean and that lettering looks Chinese."

Miles scoffed, "Dude, first of all, I'm American. I'm three-quarters Korean, but my grandmother is Chinese and she taught me the language."

"Got it. So what does this all mean?" Jack asked as he continued to inspect the markings.

"Well, the compass represents geography and the distance between you - East and West sort of thing. As for the lettering, all I'm gonna say is this. You better not get together with a chick that knows Chinese, cause she ain't gonna like what I wrote about your ex-girlfriend."

A/N: Hey, so here's the next Chapter. Hope you enjoy. As you can see, I have brought in some canon features and characters from the show and integrated them into this story as was always part of my plan ;).

Thanks again to everyone that has left me a review - you guys are the best and I'm writing this for you.