The Shephards had finished playing nine holes and were enjoying a late lunch at the golf club, it was a pleasant enough day for them that left the three content and ravenous. As they sat at their regular table and tucked away into their food, they resumed their earlier conversation regarding Claire's plans after law school. She had earned high grades and was in the process of interviewing for a summer associate position at some of the city's most prestigious law firms. Claire had aspirations to practice entertainment law with a focus in the music industry. She always had a keen ear for music and the melding of both interests seemed to suit her. It wasn't medicine, but Christian was proud that Claire had found an interest outside of simply having fun and shopping. And her achievements didn't go unnoticed by Jack either. He saw an emergence of self-confidence in her that he always knew was hidden deep down there.

Claire had finally come into her own during college, no longer weighed down by perception and high school friends, she had viewed it as an opportunity to re-define herself and she studied hard. She knew she was the apple of her father's eye, but she always felt left in the shadow of Jack. Christian always seemed to take a particular sense of pride in his son's talent and Claire wished Christian would look upon her in the same way.

Sitting across from one another, Christian and Claire were sparring playfully, cracking jokes at one another's expense, meanwhile Jack silently contemplated his glass of iced tea. Jack wasn't the same, his family saw it. He showed up when he needed to, but was never really present. From time to time they could draw him out and get him to laugh or be engaged in the discussion.

Jack pushed his half full plate aside and Claire casually prodded her fork in it to taste his salad. She then took an aggressive drink of her water, "How much pepper did you put in that?"

"I didn't, I think the chef may have been too enthusiastic in the kitchen."

"No shit. Why didn't you say anything?" Claire said fanning her mouth and reaching over to down her father's glass of water.

Jack shrugged and looked at his now distracted father who had placed his folded napkin on the table and pushed his chair back. "Excuse me, I see Ted Mitchell over there and I would like to speak to him." They watched him stand up and walk across to the corner table where their father's friend was seated.

"I spoke to Kate," Claire told him, noting the now stricken look on his face.

There was a silence and everything seemed frozen, like the earth had stopped spinning on its axis.

"What?" He asked, his voice sounded winded like he had just taken a sharp jab to the gut.

"Kate, I mean we've been emailing for a while and I called her-"

Jack interrupted, "You have her number?"

"Yes-"

There were so many things that he wanted to ask, but he was afraid to, not sure if he would be able to withstand the answer. Jack picked up his glass and drained it, still watching his sister.

"Uhm … what did Kate say?" It was hard for him to grit out the words, but he had to. It was Kate.

"Not much, really. She told me med school's very difficult and that she feels like all she does is study just to get by. She sounded overwhelmed actually. Kate then told me that she had moved into a new place and has two roommates, she shares a two-bedroom apartment with a guy and girl. The other two are a couple and share one bedroom and Kate has the other room, she said she sometimes feels like a third wheel." She paused, she knew what her brother was dying to ask. "She's not seeing anyone, Jack. She even mentioned that she hasn't even been on a date since ..."

Jack raised his hand to his temple and clenched his eyes shut for a second. His head shook just so slightly.

This information was … too much and all he could do was nod his head and look out across the club room. He didn't know whether her news made him feel better or worse, it had been nearly two years since he had seen or spoken to her. Wasn't it supposed to feel better by now? And if she really hadn't seen anyone else after they broke up, why were they still apart? Nothing seemed to make sense. Didn't she love him? Claire was still talking, but he had stopped listening. The lump in his throat seemed to now have expanded into the outer reaches of his brain.

Maybe he was some kind of nutcase? On a mission to punish and torture himself before Kate finally landed him in the looney bin. He had intentionally avoided finding out anything about her. He never googled her name on the internet, he knew she didn't have a Facebook account (neither did he). It was easier to know nothing about her than to know just a little bit.

Jack interrupted, "I want you to give me Kate's number." His voice sounding more harsh and direct than intended.

"I can't. And you know that Jack."

"Claire, I'm your brother -"

"Kate told me not to."

"Then why are you telling me all this? How long have you been speaking to her? Do you talk to her about me?" He pelleted her with questions, yet, meanwhile, knowing her answers were irrelevant in the scheme of things. He was like a fish caught on a lure and Kate was holding the rod with the sole power to release or reel him in at her whim. There was only one other person that could make him feel helpless in the same way and that man was standing across the room engaged in jovial laughter with a table of friends.

"Claire, I'm not asking again -"

Claire drew her head back in reaction to his threatening tone, but she returned it with an air of defiance, "Good. Because I'm not telling you Jack. And if you want to know so badly, hire a private investigator. You can have her number and a lot more information within a few hours!"

It was all true and it wasn't as if he hadn't contemplated doing just that dozens of times. But he thought it would be an unforgivable invasion of her privacy that would also make him seem desperate and stalkerish. So he never followed through with it. But it would be different if Claire gave it to him. Right?

He had never even called Sam again to let him know why he didn't show up to Brooklyn as was planned. The reason he called Sam that morning, he had asked if he could stop by and talk to him in person. He had wanted to show her father the ring and ask for permission to propose to Kate. But ... his plans ...

Jack lifted his cloth napkin from his lap and crumpled it onto the table. Standing abruptly up, his infamous temper barely kept in check, he said, "You know … Claire? Fuck it. Don't tell me."

She watched him stalk off and was close to jumping up and chasing him down. She felt so torn between allegiances. On the one hand, Jack was her brother, someone she loved, respected and knew to be a good guy with a solid heart. But at the same time, she empathized with Kate, somehow understanding how Jack's intensity and ferocious dedication to everything he felt committed to can overwhelm any person. She'd been a witness to enough conflict between the strong-willed Shephard men to see how stubborn and passionate they both were. If she were in Kate's position, would she have been able to settle down with someone like Jack at this young of an age?

Jack hopped into his jeep, anger and frustration fueling his veins … again. Before turning on the ignition and maneuvering the vehicle, he paused to think about how pathetic his life had become.

Tonight, he'd probably be at home and would masturbate, relying on his sure fire way to get off: the memory of when he first taught Kate to go down on him. At the time, he had found it ridiculously exciting to actually teach a woman how. He enjoyed the whole forbidden student teacher relationship aspect more than he probably should have. But, he couldn't help it then, he had loved explaining to her what techniques she could use to excite him and she proved to be a good pupil...

Or maybe he would fantasize about the evening of her twenty-first birthday when she came out of the bathroom wearing his shirt and the sexy underwear. Or ….

He released a loud frustrated growl as his hands clenched whitely over the steering wheel. He knew where he was going to drive to … again.

"Hey 'Chip'."

Jack gave Miles a curious look and then he looked down and gave a tiny smile. He was still wearing his golf khakis, polo shirt and shoes and, yeah, he did look like a country club sort of guy that would be named Chip.

"Ha. You're a comedian Miles." He deadpanned.

"I guess I don't have to ask you what you were doing today. So what brings you here in the middle of the afternoon and not half in the bag at almost midnight? It couldn't have been that bad of a golf game."

Jack took his usual seat, "Does it matter?"

Miles shrugged, apparently Jack was even more dour and serious when fully sober, if that were possible. "So, is your right shoulder next? I'm out of room now to add anything to the left one." He was referring to Jack's most recent tattoo, a slanted pyramid in black ink.

"Nah. I want it here." Jack said pointing to the area of his inner bicep running down to the forearm.

"That's a very visible place, you know that people will be able to see that easily, right? Are you sure that's something you want patients to notice?"

"I'm sure."

Miles released a grin followed by a deep laugh, "So, you get a few tattoos and you think you're some kind of hardcore spinal surgeon now?"

Laughter tumbled from Jack's lips, his eyes squinted and he just shook his head. Ana Lucia looked over and couldn't help but notice how handsome Jack was when he smiled. It was the first time she saw it in all the hours he has spent in their studio.

"Whoa man. Are you actually smiling?" Miles joked, but a tad more serious, he added, "Okay, so here's the deal, before I ink one more design on you ... I finally need to see what Kate looks like. I want to know what this woman has that you're so busted up over."

Jack reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, he started to go through the file of photos and stopped at his favorite one. He had taken this close-up headshot when she was in his bed. Kate had just woken up and modestly pulled the sheet up beneath her arms. Her hair was tousled and she had a slight pinkness to her freckled cheeks. She had protested when he asked her to pose - she yelled at him and didn't want to be photographed, but he managed to sneak one in anyway.

Miles took the phone and studied it. She had green eyes, full, pouty lips that revealed large white teeth ... indeed, the chick was beautiful and now he could sort of finally appreciate what Jack was so hung up about.

Absentmindedly, Miles smiled. "She's got freckles. That's really ... cute," he said as he handed back the device to Jack.

"Yeah, I think so too." Jack said, almost embarrassed while he rubbed the back of his head.

There was an awkward, silent pause.

"Okay then, so what do you want on your arm?" Miles asked as he rubbed his hands together.

Jack was lost in thought, still looking at the photo, feeling that familiar lump return to his throat. Without realizing it, he murmured audibly, "Freckles."

Miles' eyebrows shot up in question, "You want me to ink freckles on your arm?"

A knowing smile crept across Jack's face, thinking about the game he used to tease Kate with, "No. I want you to paint ... stars."

"How do you go from freckles to stars? Where the hell did that come from?"

"It was just an inside joke between the two of us." Jack said wistfully, his mind still afloat in the memory.

Miles shrugged, deciding not to delve into it. When it came to this girl, the poor guy was toast.

Jack and Miles spoke through the entire procedure, it was mostly Jack doing the talking, sometimes even answering some questions from Ana Lucia, who had grown to feel a soft spot for this lovelorn dude.

When Miles was done, Jack finally took a look at it. He examined the colorful stars and liked them, but he didn't understand the larger designs. He looked up in question, "What's that?"

Miles began to explain, "Well, the fire or the flame represents you. You told me your birthday and you're a Sagittarius and that's a fire element. Now, Kate's an Aquarius and that's an air sign and that's represented by that ball of air and wind pushing at the stormy waves underneath -"

Jack interrupted, "Wait a second, you inked astrological symbols on me? You do remember that I'm a doctor and I used to be a physics teacher, right? Do you actually think I believe in fate or astrology? Come on, man." Jack was trying to temper his aggravation, he thought this was ridiculous and was in total contravention of his scientific manner in processing information.

"Chill out Jack. You told me to do whatever I wanted. You're the one that brought up 'stars', which made me think of the constellation, the zodiac … so blame yourself for putting this crap in my head," Miles said sounding a bit defensive at this point.

Jack paused to stare at the tattoo again and consider it more carefully. It was a funny coincidence that Miles should draw something related to the constellation. When he had played the game with Kate, he had always thought more in terms of astronomy, he had pretended to connect the stars in Sagittarius on her and even joked that it was proof that she was meant to be with him.

"You know what? I take it all back. I like it." Jack said deliberately. "I mean it Miles. Thanks." He then stood up, ready to leave.

"You know Jack? If Kate feels just a quarter for you what you feel for her. Then she loves you, man and I bet she's thinking about you now and wants to call you."

Jack shrugged, "I don't see that happening."

It was October and Kate was finally in her third year of school. She was sitting in the sunshine filled library atrium with Juliet, each of them pouring over their textbooks. She leaned back in her chair while absentmindedly thumbing the locket that dangled in front of her chest. Jack's locket, she treasured it more now than the day she received it, she wore it at all times and only took it off to shower. It had become a source of comfort to her, the feel of the smooth metal against her fingers had a way of taking off the edge in nerve wracking situations.

Kate turned her head away to stifle a tiny, burbling sneeze.

"Bless you." Juliet offered at Kate's pathetic little release.

"Thanks."

In a subdued, subtle way, Juliet tapped Kate on the shoulder and with her head gestured to the man that was approaching them, "Look who's coming over here."

Kate followed Juliet's gaze and moaned, "Oh jesus, why can't he just leave me alone?"

This guy was unshakeable.

Juliet released a gust of laughter before whispering, "Well, at least he's easy on the eyes, Kate. And he is persistent."

"And his looks are about all he has going for him. You'd think that after nearly two years, he'd get the hint."

"Well look at it this way, Kate. He's graduating in May, so you only have about seven months left to keep him at bay." Juliet whispered quickly.

Kate bent her head, returning her attention to her textbook and pretending to not see his chiseled physique approach them.

With that wide and sparkling white smile of his, he greeted the girls, "Good afternoon ladies." He then curiously peered down at that their textbooks.

"Ahhhh, 'Reproduction', I aced that module." He drawled, looking directly at Kate, his blue eyes doing their best to trap hers somehow to his.

The girls both chuckled and Kate rolled her eyes while managing a wry smile, "You're kidding right? With all your practice, I would think you could come up with a better line than that."

He looked at Kate and if she didn't know any better she could almost detect a look of hurt in his expression. So, she did finally manage to get a reaction from him? Kate caught herself wondering what he was thinking, what was really behind his suggestion. It was sexual, surely … he was always implying how much fun she would have in bed if she gave him a chance.

"That's not what I meant Kate, seriously, I aced that class last year and if you have any questions I'd be glad to help -"

With an exaggerated sweeping gesture, Juliet looked at her watch and started gathering her things, "Kate, I gotta run, I'm supposed to meet Sawyer in 5 minutes."

Kate glared at her friend, angry that she was leaving her alone with him, she squeaked out a comment, "I'll see you at the apartment, okay?"

Juliet's eyes darted between them and she smiled, "Yep, see you later. Bye Kate, bye Ryan."

Ryan moved into the now vacant seat across from Kate and stared at her keenly. Catching her instinctive movement of recoil, he paused for a second before folding his hands casually and leaning back in the chair, "So, do you have any plans for this weekend, Kate?"

"Yes."

He raised his eyebrows waiting for her to elaborate, but she clearly was not going to give him an inch.

"Ryan, I have to run, see you around okay?" She had made her voice icy, but he only chuckled.

With a studied avoidance of his eyes, she gathered her books and threw them into her messenger bag and nodded a farewell gesture.

Kate walked away from him. Ryan frowned, then proceeded to follow her. Her step quickened.

"Kate, wait up!" He called, "I know you don't like me -"

"You're right, I don't." Kate said stonily.

Momentum kept Kate from breaking her stride and Ryan grinned wickedly as he continued his pursuit.

"C'mon, I know you want to say yes, let's have dinner."

"No."

What she wanted, was to get outside and let the wind blow her thoughts away.

He smiled as he watched her walk out of the building. He liked this girl, with her lively green eyes and quick intelligence. She was a feisty and beautiful little thing and he was determined more now than ever to convince her to give him a shot.

Jack walked out of the lounge, wearing his scrubs and ready to perform his rounds. With a frustrated frown, he shook his head, thinking about yesterday's surgery, the one he performed on the young girl. He had been careless and accidentally nicked the patient's dural sac. And, yes, the terror of his action had set in. Perhaps he wasn't ready for that advanced a procedure? Ordinarily, a surgery of that complexity would have been performed by a talented sixth year resident, but his father told him ... or did he convince him, that he was ready.

It ended up with Christian having to get him to settle down like a child and count to five. His dad essentially gave him a time out in front of the entire surgical team.

The whole ordeal left him embarrassed, angry and tired.

"Dr. Shephard?"

It took a long second for him to register the direction the voice was coming from.

"Yes?" He sounded almost unfocused to the request for his attention.

"Your fa-... I mean Dr. Shephard is looking for you." She smiled.

He recognized the young nurse, she was ... cute and could tell that she was more than a little interested in him. But he wasn't interested. About two and half years later and there was only one woman he was interested in.

Jack knew her name, but quickly glanced at her hospital badge for added measure.

"Thank you, Lindsay." He smiled before turning in the opposite direction and heading to his father's office.

The nurse released a little sigh as she watched his tall, athletic frame walk down the long hallway.

The door to his father's office was ajar, but Jack rapped on it with the back of his knuckles.

"Dad?"

Christian lifted his head up from the files he was buried in to see Jack's head peeking over the door's long edge.

"Come in Jack," he said while waving him over.

Jack took a seat on the empty leather upholstered chair placed in front of his father's desk.

"I was told you were looking for me."

"I was -" Christian then glanced at that cursed tattoo on his son's arm, exposed for everyone to see. He had thought his son had finally lost his mind when he showed up to the hospital nearly seven months ago with that nonsense on his appendage. They had exchanged words about it, but the episode resulted with his son leaving in a huff. But at least Jack looked healthier now, apparently spending all his free time in the gym, lifting weights and obsessively running tour de stades in the UCLA football stadium.

For a long while, Christian was worried, for months and months, his son's appearance had diminished dramatically, he had grown emaciated, pale and was ... heartbroken. Correction, Jack was still heartbroken and he suspected the tattoos were a manifestation of that pain. He finally concluded that despite Jack's serious, analytical, no-nonsense demeanor, his son was a hopeless romantic.

In the beginning, Christian had been torn, his son's obvious pain tugged at his heart and he genuinely felt for him. He almost visited Kate in New York with the idea to speak to her and convince her to visit Jack. But he couldn't ignore the fact that Jack's dedication and focus on his career spiked in the wake of the demise of their relationship. Jack exceeded his father's expectation in every respect and he suspected that if Kate was still in the picture, it would be a different story. Jack poured every once of his energy into honing his skills. Jack was gifted and his talents could rival a surgeon with an additional three or four years of experience under his or her belt.

Jack followed his father's gaze that had finally settled on his colorful forearm. He knew he could placate his dad and wear a long-sleeve shirt in the hospital that would camouflage the tattoos and perhaps it was infantile, but he got a tiny thrill from the knowledge that the inked markings perturbed him.

Christian re-focused, "I wanted to follow up on yesterday's events and make sure that you were okay. Listen, son-"

"Dad, I'm fine. I made an error and thanks for helping me out ... assisting with the procedure and helping the patient." Jack wasn't in the mood to talk to his dad about yesterday ... he wasn't ready to. He still felt heated and resentful, it was better to just walk away before having a blow out at work. But it wasn't easy, this was a solid test of his self-control.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure." Jack stood up, ready to leave.

"Jack?"

"Yeah."

"Son. Don't take this the wrong way and ... I don't mean to interfere. But don't you think it's been long enough?"

Jack's eyebrows rose in question, "I don't understand -"

"Don't you think it's time to move on. Put Kate behind you ... date someone new ... and be happy."

His father's words riled him to no end. The incredulity of them. "You're kidding, right? You 'don't mean to interfere'. You know what? I used to be happy. Very happy. But you got what you wanted ... your protege."

A/N: Hi everyone! Thank you so much for all your encouraging words and support for this story. Your kind words really are appreciated. Because I have totally messed up the chapter numbering, some of you may be blocked from leaving a review, but I hope that won't frustrate and dissuade you from leaving a comment. You can still review by logging out or by reviewing an earlier chapter that you didn't review before.

Sorry for the inconvenience, but it should be cleared up by the next chapter!

Also, there are SO, SO many of you (a majority) that have favorited this story or are following it and have yet to leave ONE SINGLE review. It would mean so much to me to get some feedback from you guys. I work tirelessly (really) to write these chapters and a simple acknowledgment or sign of appreciation would really go a long way. This is a community and the idea is that the people that are reading stories should and are encouraged to leave feedback. That is how to keep fandoms alive and flourish. And I say this on behalf of every person/writer on FF who takes the time to upload their efforts out there for your scrutiny.

Thank you!