Sitting in a quiet corner of the bar, Ryan saw Jack walk in and take a seat at the long oak counter. Ryan had plans with Kate that night, but she called him, canceling at the last moment and not giving him much of a reason. She sounded upset over the phone and then hung up on him. He was on his way to the hospital to confront her, feeling angry, insecure and threatened. Almost as if he half expected to bust into the neurosurgery wing and finally catch Kate and Jack in the act.
Over the past couple of days, since he made his discovery, his jealousy began to consume him. Just like the first time, Jack was the reason that Kate kept him at arm's length, he was always the reason. Yet, when he saw her again for the first time since they broke up, his old feelings re-surfaced and he was willing to shuck his hurt and take another shot with her. And now, Kate deceived him by neglecting to mention that her ex was now her boss.
As he approached the hospital, he changed his mind at the last moment, opting instead to duck into a nearby bar and settle down first. He was surprised to see the doctor enter the bar, it was an unexpected coincidence, especially considering that he was just thinking about him. He decided that he would stay put and ... wait. Would Kate join him? Is that why she canceled their date at the last minute, so she could join Jack instead? For a long while he sat there … losing himself in drink, studying Jack and it soon became evident that he was wrong. Kate wasn't meeting him after all.
With painful frustration, Ryan pressed the balls of his hands into his eyes, groaning as he recalled telling her that he loved her. He felt like an even bigger idiot now.
He looked at the back of the tall man and wondered what Jack had, that he didn't. Was it his shorn haircut or the arm tattoos he caught sight of that time Kate was talking to him? It wasn't as if Ryan was a slacker. Didn't he have enough notches on his bedpost to prove that many times over? So what was it that Kate couldn't let go or move on from?
Ryan wasn't even sure what he wanted to do at this point. Expose Jack as some pervert and harm his reputation at the hospital? No. Kate would hate him then. He just wanted Jack out of the picture … for good.
Meanwhile Jack rubbed the back of his head, unable to stop replaying his earlier altercation with Kate. He couldn't shake the words from his memory, she had all but said that she wished she never met him.
How did it get to this?
He sighed and reached into the inside pocket of his jacket, so he could pay the tab and leave.
Ryan finally stood up, leaving a few twenties on the table before making his ungainly way to the bar and dropping onto the stool next to Jack.
"I'll have what the doctor's having and bring him another round please."
Ryan turned to his right and saw Jack stare back at him in recognition. He half expected Jack to politely decline, get up and leave. But instead, the man simply shrugged his shoulders and leaned into the bar counter.
And for Ryan, that was about as good as a confirmation that Jack knew what their conversation was going to be about … Kate.
While they waited for their drinks, Jack looked up at the large TV screen and caught the score: New York 4, Boston 2. He must have frowned, because Ryan said, "I'm a White Sox fan myself, I wouldn't have pegged you for being a Red Sox fan, though - since you're from L.A."
Ryan waited for some reaction from Jack, hoping to catch him off-guard with that personal bit of information, but instead he got nothing.
Jack blinked a couple of times, registering Ryan's intimation while he watched the bartender come back and place their drinks in front of them.
"Whoa, a scotch and beer chaser? You must be having a bad day, Jack." Ryan said, his words sounding boozy and with a taunting edge .
Jack gave a slight shake of his head and released a knowing grin. Ryan had no idea of how bad a day he was having and now it seemed like it was about to get worse.
Jack straightened up a bit, sensing that Ryan was trying to get under his skin. He turned to the guy and nodded, "Just another day at the hospital. You know how it is."
Jack lifted his scotch and tipped it in Ryan's direction, "Thanks."
Ryan slowly lifted his drink in response to Jack's acknowledgment, "A toast ..." He paused a moment, for emphasis, before adding, "To Kate."
A smirk came across Jack's face. He had to hand it to this guy, Ryan didn't beat around the bush.
Jack nodded and went along with Ryan. "To Kate," he echoed, returning Ryan's challenge before taking a hard swig of the cold liquid. Simultaneously, they placed the heavy lowball glasses onto the counter with a dull clunk. Their shoulders were stiff with tension as they sat quietly staring straight ahead for a long pause, punctuated only by the background noise emanating from the TV.
Exhausted and no longer interested in playing Ryan's game, Jack looked over his shoulder at him. "Is there something you want to say to me, man?"
Ryan sat a little straighter, not expecting Jack to dive in, but feeling emboldened by his provocation nonetheless. Although, he was beginning to have some second thoughts about all those drinks he had before. But he quickly brushed that nagging thought aside.
"Yeah, man. Actually I do. You need to back off. Whatever you used to have with Kate. It's over. Understand?" Ryan warned, his meaning transparently frank.
"I'm not sure what you're talking about. But if you and Kate are having problems, you need to straighten them out with her," Jack replied coolly.
More watchful now of Jack's mannerisms, Ryan retorted, "Nice try. But you're not fooling anyone. You think I don't know what's going on here? I've seen the way you look at her. I know why you want her close to you - just like the old days, right?" Ryan's voice slurred on the last few dangling words.
"You know what I think, Ryan? I think something happened with you and your girlfriend and that's given you an excuse to go get drunk-"
There was a manner of dismissiveness in Jack's tone, it was almost condescending sounding and that managed to flip a switch in Ryan's head. His heart and mind now clearly itching for an altercation that Jack had no interest in being engaged in.
Ryan clenched his hand. It was time to take it to the next level.
He fixed a resentful eye at Jack and in a mocking voice said, "You know, all those times you called her about a patient when you knew she was with me, it just stalled the inevitable. I still make it to Kate's bed while you're at home thinking of ten other ways to keep us apart."
Jack didn't like hearing that. He hoped he masked the wince that he felt surely must have shown across his face. And that old familiar stirring of jealousy … envy flashed across his abdomen.
Then he began to wonder. Had he been that obvious? Did he select Kate to work on the Mueller case for this very reason? To keep Kate occupied and Ryan out of her bed? Although, he trusted Kate's skills and abilities, an objective outsider would have said the Jack should have picked a fourth year resident, or a third year at the very least. Jack had to admit to himself that Ryan was not that far off from the mark.
But that didn't mean Jack needed to let him know that.
"Like I said, if you and Kate are having prob-"
"Listen, asshole." Ryan interrupted. "I know everything. I know that you are the one that gave her that locket. I know that you dated her for years. I know that you used to be a teacher. I know that you screwed her while she was in high school."
Jack's face dipped slightly. That feeling of an object lodged in his chest, just got worse. How did he know all that? Kate would never tell a soul. Jack knew that with certainty. She would never expose their secret or … him like that. Jack wondered how he could have possibly made that discovery. He felt a quickening of his heartbeat.
What was this man's agenda?
"Ryan, I don't know where you're getting your information from, but I think you need to settle down. Kate and I used to date a very long time ago, but we've each moved on with our lives." Jack said as his eyes shifted between Ryan and the glass before him.
"You're lying and you think that you can roll over me with your bullshit. We both know the damage the truth can do to your reputation, but that's not what this is about. It's about the fact that you're interfering with us."
Jack took in Ryan's words and demeanor. He was masking his insecurity and hurt in the guise of threat and anger. And on some deep level, Jack understood the guy … empathized with him even. It's not as if Ryan was the first man to get drunk and suffer over Kate. Jack knew that all too well.
There was no upper hand to be gained here. The guy knows … he knows.
"You know what I don't get Jack? Is why you're so greedy. You have a fiancée, but you're still a pig."
Jack released a huff. The guy was just not going to quit.
At this point, he was feeling that he allowed Ryan to share enough of his drunken tirade, so Jack looked at Ryan once more as he reached into his pocket for his credit card, wanting to settle the bill and get home. But for Ryan, this discussion was far from over, he wanted a resolution … he wanted to kick Jack's ass - that's what he wanted. To punish the man for being someone that Kate was still hung up on.
"You can put your wallet away. I'm taking care of your bill Jack." Jack looked at him, but continued to try to pay anyway. Ryan continued, "It's the least I can do to repay the teacher who taught Kate how to give a perfect blow job."
Jack felt red come over his face, a terrible energy momentarily coming off of him. He eyed Ryan, who was looking at him with expectant hostility … violence. But for the first time ever, Jack would endure the indignity hurled at Kate. Kate wasn't his anymore to defend and he somehow felt that he deserved the axe Ryan was grinding into him. If he had used proper judgment all those years ago, they wouldn't be sitting here like this right now. This was all his fault.
Ryan watched Jack wordlessly ease himself off the stool and proceed to walk past him to leave to the bar.
A band of anger contracted around him and Ryan lunged forward, heedlessly. With a quick reaction, Jack was able to avert Ryan's awkward flinging blow. But the force of the missed drunken punch propelled Ryan forward, his right arm crashing through a wall of heavy decorative stain colored glass.
Jack heard a deep yell and an "Oh shit!"
By now, Jack was at the man's side, trying to carefully ease his arm out of the shards of broken glass. Ryan attempted a final swipe at Jack before crumpling to the ground. "Don't fucking touch me!" He hissed.
Jack ignored his protestation, instead focusing on examining the deep gashes on Ryan's hand and forearm. Almost immediately, the metallic stench of flowing blood filled their nostrils. With focused precision, Jack inspected the lacerations and sighed - it looked as if some of the glass grazed some bone. Jack's brow creased with genuine concern. He knew Ryan was a surgeon, that his hands were his livelihood.
Jack turned to the bartender and yelled at him to bring over the stack of clean fabric napkins in order for him to stanch the heavy bleeding.
As Jack began to work on the injury, Ryan began to struggle again. He felt so ridiculous and pathetic. "I said don't touch me," he shouted.
Jack's grip grew tighter, clamping his shoulder. "Shut up. Don't be stupid. We need to take you the hospital immediately." Jack shook his head again in consternation over Ryan's stubbornness.
With a wounded pride and much humiliation, Ryan finally conceded to Jack's order and accepted the offered assistance to ease himself to his feet.
Barely through the heavy automatic doors, Jack began barking orders to the ER staff. "Is Dr. Singh on call tonight?" Jack asked, hoping that the best orthopedic surgeon on staff was in and Jack released an exhale to see the nurse nod yes.
"Good. Please page him. And it's urgent. Please."
Jack breathed with relief. He looked at Ryan who was now being triaged a few feet away. Not in a million years, would he have predicted what a disaster this day to turned out to be. He looked down at the front of his clothes and saw the large splattering of blood along his shirt, tie and suit. He knew the expensive outfit was shot and would just have to go into the garbage. He decided he'd go to the locker room in a few minutes, shower up and change into scrubs while waiting for Ryan to be examined and then afterwards speak to Dr. Singh.
A second later, Jack could see Kate bolting towards him. Worry evident on her face, her eyes were wide as saucers. "Jack!" She glanced over Jack's shoulder and caught sight of Ryan speaking to a nurse while cradling his arm, blood leaking through some cloth. In a sweeping gesture, Kate lifted her hand and palmed Jack's cheek. She scanned him from head to toe searching for any sign of injury. Seeing none, she drew back and exhaled, "Are you okay? What happened, Jack?"
Kate took another look at Ryan, who was now squarely glaring at her, before he sharply looked away. Anger glazing over his eyes.
"He knows Kate." Jack said in a low voice. "Ryan knows everything,-"
Kate's eyebrows rose in disbelief, she began to sputter, "But how? I mean … I never told him, I never -" She stopped mid-sentence, her voice now trailing off as she recalled their dinner conversation the other evening and Ryan's strange behavior. He must have figured it out. She was about to ask Jack what the hell happened tonight between them, what landed them both in the emergency room.
Jack looked down at her pensive expression. "It doesn't matter now Kate. What's done is done." He swallowed hard, the words he was about to say paining him more than he could imagine. "You need to go to him Kate. He's hurt and needs you," Jack added with heavy sadness.
Each wore a tear sheened expression. They both felt exposed and irrevocably broken. At this point, Jack was beyond caring about any possible fall out from their illicit secret being known. He was pushing her into another man's arms and that was all that mattered.
Kate brought her closed fist to her mouth and nodded her head.
Kate found Ryan lying on the examination table in one of the rooms. His normally tanned face had a pale bluish, white hue to it. When she entered the room, his eyes flicked up at Kate, but he quickly rolled his head away. She went up to the IV bag to read what sedative he was being fed.
"Go away, Kate. I'm tired." He sounded a little sleepy, but still angry.
Kate tried to reach for his uninjured hand, but he pulled it away and drew it stiffly to his side.
"Ryan, please look at me. What happened to you?" Her voice was soft, but insistent.
"Can you please get out and leave me alone?" He kept his eyes closed and refused to look at her.
"No, not until you tell me what is going on here."
A thin, ironic smile played across his lips. "Now, you want some honesty between us Kate?"
Kate saw the evidence of hurt in his eyes, the normal sparkle in them now dull. Her heart ached and she felt guilty and … stingy for withholding the affection he so obviously yearned for from her.
"Ryan … please." She attempted to curl her fingers into the mess of his hair. But he jerked away, as if burned by her touch.
He then slowly turned his head to look at her. "You want honesty Kate?" he asked bitterly. "I know who 'J.S.' is. But, I also know who I am. And I'm not Jack. No one else ever will be."
He then paused from the gurgle of hurt mixed with humiliation climbing up his throat. "You should have told me, Kate -"
"Ryan-"
"No, you're gonna hear me out. Twice I fell in love with you and the second time you strung me along, but I now blame myself for being stupid. You don't love me! I've seen the way you look at him and like a fool, I've been in denial. But the two of you are …."
A beat passed, he bit his bottom lip in consternation before continuing, "You both are the most fucking selfish people. He's getting married to some fool that is in for a lifetime of pain. I'm just glad that I'm getting out now. I don't know what you're gonna do Kate, but the next poor bastard that comes knocking on your door … I feel sorry for him. So how about this? Why don't you and Jack spare the rest of us from your miserable existence."
Kate took an unsteady step backwards, the weight of his words like a slap in the face.
Her instinct was to hurl back, to defend herself, but when she saw his eyes full of tears and a lone drop roll down his cheek, she knew there was nothing more to say. He was the one that was suffering here.
So instead, she nodded and backed away from him and as she turned the knob, he said resignedly, "Kate, you can tell Jack that your secret is safe with me." His voice was heavy and thick now, his eyes flitting out of consciousness. He then suddenly yawned as if dismissing her.
It was over.
Jack released a loud yawn as he fingered the keys on his chain searching for the one that would give him access to his apartment and much needed sleep. He had spoken to Dr. Singh, his prognosis was optimistic. He thought Ryan would have a full recovery and this news made Jack eternally grateful.
He carefully closed the door behind him and stopped in his tracks when he entered the living room. Sarah was sitting in the center of the sofa, fully dressed and alert. There were five packed suitcases nearby and from the corner of his eye, he caught the glimmer of her engagement ring resting on the coffee table. He didn't have to ask, he knew.
It was over.
A/N: Hey guys. So, not a very long chapter, but I think we reached a new, much awaited point, no? I've read the reviews and all the expressed frustration from you all. But, I stand by the long haul. Hell, what was more frustrating than watching our stubborn Jack and Kate for six years! But anyway, I've really tried to channel canon Jack and Kate here, their stubbornness, Jack's unwavering dedication to helping people, even those that he didn't like. I know you have been frustrated with Jack's commitment to Sarah, but that was the way he was on the show. Still wanting to fix things even though she cheated on him. I don't know if you noticed, but I also tried to capture the feeling of the way the quadrangle collapsed on the show. The way Juliet just bowed out in Something Nice Back Home because she knew Jack loved someone else.
Well, please leave a review. The more response I get back, the quicker the next chapter will be posted!
I love reading reviews, they make my day. Truly.