Note: GUEST reviewers, please have the courtesy to at least make up a name, will you? Just using "Guest" is lazy as fuck.

General Note #1 SPOILER ALERT: I watched "Souls of the Departed" and added a few minor spoilers to this chapter. Overall, meh episode (as the ratings reflect, ha!). As annoyed as I was by Emma's bullshit "I'd have come for you" excuse, I was a bit tickled that Emma and Neal met in a broke-ass carnival! Makes my story a *bit* more plausible, right?

General Note #2: Another vote has been cast against Regina and Neal being related. It's looking more and more like that fanfiction trope will not be included in this story.

Note to Mir: Actually, you're wrong. The scene involves Henry quoting the infamous line "second star to the right and straight on 'til morning", which unnerves Neal who asks him where he heard that, to which Henry remarks about Peter Pan. Neal never reveals anything about Pan being evil or Neverland dangerous in that scene, because, of course, the scene was intended to air in the episode but cut for time and it would have ruined the big reveal in the season finale that Pan is an evil, child-stealing sonofabitch. Henry uttering the line that became the title of the two parter was foreshadowing but never was Pan's villainy or the dangers of Neverland explicitly stated other than Hook's vague reference to the Lost Boys in "Tallahassee" suggesting that Neverland was perhaps not a place of adventure and imagination, but abandonment and loneliness... (which still makes CS that much more disgusting!)

PART II

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

BAGGAGE CLAIM

When Neal reached the road, the early spring air having now chilled him rather miserably in his sweat-soaked clothes, he found only Emma still there, rooting through the Bug's trunk, tossing items out onto the pine-needle covered ground.

"Lose something?"

Emma jumped, looking very much like a startled wet raccoon, then returned to her unloading. "Making room. Gotta clear out of Granny's and who needs a highway cleanup crew when you have the Merry Men?"

"You're moving back to the Loft?"

Emma frowned and answered, "Hell no. At this point, I might just join the hobo camp in the forest. It's about the only place in this curse-forsaken town that's not tainted with fucked up memories of a life I wish I could forget," she admitted and leaned against the side of the car.

"Conversation with your mom the other day didn't go well, huh?" Neal deduced, joining her and shoving his hands in his sweaty jeans pockets.

"Don't bring my mom into this," Emma snapped at him then let out a breath. "I'm sorry. I just need a... a 'safe space' as lame as that sounds. I can't even drive my own car without shitty memories. It's like a decade ago all over again, only this time I'm not going to find out that it was all just a misunderstanding. And work, between the nasty stuff I did with Hook there and finding out Graham wanted to bang me because he was fixated on my mom - I spend all my time on duty patrolling just to avoid the Station."

"We've only been back from Camelot a week," Neal pointed out. "And we went there like a week after the time portal-"

"Don't you use chronology on me!" Emma cut him off. "It's been two weeks of torture, Neal and Camelot wasn't exactly a retreat either in case you've forgotten my multiple breakdowns! I keep telling myself to forget that stuff, to focus on the moment, that this is a do-over, but I can't. It's all tainted, because of me. Because of my choices. And I used to love being Sheriff. I mean, not at first, but I really got into it, thought I could be good at it... until I just fucked it all up and became like a cliché corrupt small town sheriff in a horror movie. And every time I put on this badge, I think of what a hypocrite I am, suspending my father. He wasn't wrong about that."

Grimacing, Emma concluded, "Also, I'm sorry about the things I said, Neal. Not making anything of your life. That wasn't nice... or fair."

"It wasn't nice," Neal conceded, "but it was fair. I could have turned myself in, done the time, but I was a coward. And I'm sorry for calling you a bitch and, you know, macing you in the face."

"You spent centuries in a prison. And I did abandon you when I should have been fighting for you," said Emma. "I don't blame you for still being angry that I couldn't find the strength to fight for our love after I blamed you for the same thing. And the whole... saying I would have gone to The Underworld for you, which I only said because I felt guilty that I told your for father in the past to leave you a dead hero but I was going after Hook for the same reason... even though he wasn't actually a hero... and then asking for your help to split my heart to rescue him was, you know, really insensitive," she said, then amended, "Plus the whole thing where that wasn't you and I fell for a stupid reverse psychology trick that you suffered for because I wanted to believe you were happy somewhere so I wouldn't be conflicted about who I would save and give my heart to..."

"Yeah," Neal agreed, "that all kind of sucked, Emma. But I know it's partially my fault you felt that way about me, that you didn't want me around to complicate things. I screwed up both of our lives with those watches, and I was never able to get back on track. Then August..."

Neal sighed and admitted, "That interview was the first real chance I'd gotten, just because some editor saw me sketching on the subway. My life was just a shit list of bad jobs and crappy apartments."

"And then you died," said Emma glumly. "No one should have a life that long and miserable."

"Which was why I almost welcomed it," he shrugged. "From the moment you came back into my life and I found out about Henry, I was just waiting for it to all go to crap like everything in my life always did. I was waiting to lose like I always do."

He smiled bitterly. "Which was once something we had in common. I just hoped that if I had to lose that would mean you'd get to win for a change."

"I thought I finally had," muttered Emma, "but it was the syphilis and pixie dust talking."

Shaking her head, looking around at the trees, Emma lamented, "I can't stand it here, Neal. Maybe it makes me a coward, but I can't stand the reminders every day of how I failed. And my parents... I can't be around them without feeling like such a fool. I can't be around you without feeling like a failure. I mean, look at me," she sighed, gesturing to her wet ruined clothes stained with pixie dust nose bleed goo. "I was basically some... pixie dust sex addict and I didn't even notice anything was wrong with my own son.

"Henry suffered pediment brain damage in that other timeline because I was a shitty mother who never took the time to question my own complete one eighty in personality - and there's nothing I can do in this one to get him back the years he's lost because of Neverland. He's already grown up too fast without the actual time to process growing up, which is something I had to do, minus the magical early puberty onset, and I never wanted that for him. I wanted him to have an actual childhood, the last years left after I broke the Curse, but instead he went from an eleven year old boy to practically shaving... and how did I not even notice that!?"

"Pixie dust and syphilis?" Neal smartly responded.

Emma huffed. "Yeah, okay."

"And, you know, the soul separation thing."

"Yeah, that too, I guess, but it still makes me feel like an idiot, a failure," Emma complained, "and it's stuff I can't fix. Because I failed to protect Henry he lost his innocence when giving him up was supposed to protect that for as long as possible. And now he hates me," she sniffed.

"I'm sure he doesn't really," Neal tried to comfort.

"Like he really doesn't think you're a loser?" Emma retorted, the winced, "Sorry."

"S'okay."

Emma huffed. "Henry's finally realized that I'm not the hero he thought I was when I ran for Sheriff, which was the only reason I did that - because I needed an excuse to be in his life, to measure up to his stories when I knew that I didn't. Somehow my parents and Hook convinced me that I did, though, and I lived this messed up lie that just hurt everyone instead of actually admitting that I was a nobody and trying to be somebody worthy of all the hype."

"It's easier to give in to false praise than admit you don't know what the hell you're doing," Neal mused, "but that doesn't make you a failure, Emma, and you sure were never a nobody either. What happened to Henry, that wasn't your fault. It was Regina's for her doomsday plot, Greg and Tamara for stealing it, Hook for helping them, your parents for hiding that magic beanfield and trying to executive decision everyone's fate. Mine for trusting Tamara because I didn't think you would ever trust me. Even Henry takes some blame for always wandering off when he's told not to because of the aggravating anti-authority issues that being raised by Regina gave him.

"But it wasn't yours. You were in the dark. Everyone was keeping you there. And you did your best to try and protect him and then to get him back - and I did too - while the rest of our family was walking around with their thumbs up their butts for days."

Emma snorted at that. "I'm pretty sure I was in the thumb-butt category. You found him in a couple of hours-"

"And lost him in less than that," Neal pointed out.

"Because of the pixie dust parent-hating magic," Emma reminded.

"True," Neal conceded.

"We were always better as a team. Kind of terrible by ourselves, though," sighed Emma. "Always managing to fuck up the plan."

"Yeah, I spent years wondering how different it would have been if you'd come with me to fence the watches," Neal admitted. "Would August have stayed away? Would he have come clean? Guess it doesn't matter now."

"No, I guess not."

"Look, Em, you made a lot of mistakes, but you're here now, learning from them, trying to fix things. You stopped the time portal, you destroyed the Dark One-"

"Only because I got a do-over," Emma pointed out. "I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, Neal, but the facts are pretty clear on this. I failed at everything which is the only reason I needed one. And if I was actually capable of fixing things on my own, you wouldn't be here, would you? You're here because no one 'up there'," she pointed to the sky, "believes that I can really do this."

"No one should have to save a universe alone, Emma," Neal argued. "And maybe you were never meant to do it alone and that's where it all went wrong. We were always better as a team. And now we can fix what we can fix. Maybe it won't be everything. We can't give Henry back his innocence or those years left of childhood. And that sucks. I know it does. I remember what it was like being fourteen and then arriving here and having to deal with a strange new world and growing up freakishly fast. I went from being stuck at fourteen for centuries to whacking off and sneaking into strip clubs in like a matter of months... and I wouldn't be surprised if having that pixie dust stuck in my brain from way back then gave me ADHD and prematurely gray hair."

"I like the gray," said Emma. "It's distinguished."

"Naw, it's just slightly less unappealing than going bald," Neal countered, self-consciously running a hand through his hair and feeling just slightly sympathetic toward Hook for a split second, and then that passed.

"Pixie dust or not," insisted Emma, "it doesn't change that I screwed up everyone's stories and I have no idea how to fix them now. I can't even fix mine. I mean, I butchered everything that was wonderful and unique about my parents' love to try and copy it instead of trying to save the wonderful and unique love that we had. I can't look at them without seeing that, even though I didn't ruin them this time. I can't look at you without seeing all the 'could have beens' that I wasted, that I know now were the path I should have taken, a life and a love that would have made me a better person, helped fix the damage my parents and my childhood and prison did."

Emma let out a breath and asked, "You were the love of my life and I lost you, and even though you're here, I'm still losing you and I don't think I'm ever going to get you back, am I?"

Neal didn't answer right away, and ran a hand through his damp hair before telling her, "I'll always have your back, Emma. I'll always be your friend. You're still the love of my life and you always will be. Demigod fake-out or not, that was true. But I think maybe we had our moment, or two, when we could have chosen to take the same path - together. But we each chickened out and now... now that serendipity, that soulmate moment, is passed. We're not... in harmony anymore."

"What about third time's the charm?"

"We both know that's not a thing," Neal sighed, as frustrated and disappointed as she was.

"But we were happy," Emma stated. "When you asked, that day in the forest before... we were happy once."

"We were. We were the happiest I'd ever been in my entire life," Neal admitted, "but then stuff happened, Emma. A lot of bad stuff, and you weren't wrong in Neverland that dredging up all that pain, trying to actually get passed it, let go of it, and find out way back to each other... I want us to be good. But the amount of anger, bitterness, and self-loathing we're both carrying around is a shitty foundation for a relationship. Maybe not as epically nonsensical as the bullshit you pulled out of a storybook to justify having the hots for a clinically narcissistic killer with a history of rape and alcoholism-"

"I get your point," grumbled Emma.

"The whole 'you had lots and lots of sex with the guy who ruined my life' on top of the 'after saving him but not me' thing doesn't really help with the healing here," Neal sighed, "any more than my saying 'but Pinocchio said he'd look after you' makes any fucking sense for leaving you without even a good-bye. There's a lot of selfish stupidity and fear in our pasts, and when your trust in someone is shaken, even with pixie dust as an excuse-"

"It's hard to get it back as strong as it was," Emma conceded. "I still don't get it, you know? Why you felt that was the right choice."

"And I wish I could explain why I did," sighed Neal. "But I don't imagine you can really explain your actions in any way that'll make sense either. I know you have reasons, justifications, and messed up childhood trauma or whatever, but it still boils down to feeling like you didn't really care about me, like you were happy to be rid of me for good, and eager to plaster over all of our memories with pirate spackle. And I know it's gotta be the same for you, like how could I leave like that and say I did it because I loved you? People do fucked up shit."

"And knowledge doesn't heal a broken heart, doesn't it?" said Emma glumly. "Sometimes the truth just makes it worse. Because it would be easier if you had never really loved me, if you had really turned me in."

"And it would be easier if you had really wanted me dead, one less inconvenience in your life. That our mistakes were just a messed up misunderstanding perpetuated by fear and self-loathing means we really did have a chance and we're the ones that ultimately screwed up. We're the reason that we never got Tallahassee. We're the reason that it's too late to have it now."

"It's not fair," Emma lamented. "Why can't we have a third chance? Why can't we be brave now? I know I'm still angry about stuff too, but I did forgive you. I want to believe that there's still hope you can do the same, that love can be stronger than that anger and in time we'll laugh about the crazy stuff that happened in another life that's just a hazy dream."

"I want to believe that too," Neal told her. "I tried to do the right thing. I'm tired of being lonely, of not belonging and trying to work out all the wrong choices I made and being haunted by what could have been. I want to believe we belong together, but fate or destiny, it's always pulling us apart."

"Did you just put a seriously depressing ending on a Lumineers' song?" Emma huffed. "And who says you can't change destiny if your will is strong enough? Can't we try?"

Neal regarded her for a moment before suggesting, "How about for now we head back to Granny's, shower off this sweat and pixie dust snot, and then get some coffee and grilled cheese? Then we can scout the town for available real estate not tainted with corrupt policing, incestuous romance, or shitty parenting memories. And we can wrap the evening by blowing up the Sheriff's Station and blaming it on Tinkerbell."

"I appreciate the attempt at deflecting," smiled Emma ruefully.

"I appreciate that you think our love could outwit fate," Neal responded. "I just happen to have been knocked down by fate enough times for trying to fight it."

"And you think my fate is... what?"

"Well, from a literary perspective, you were the devolution of a once strong, complex hero into an abuse tolerating, child abandoning asshole..."

"Gee thanks."

"I'm just say'n, that's how you were written, Emma," Neal told her. "That was coded into your fairy tale DNA... or maybe infected by the meddling of Satan's minions just to ensure you failed at your true task. Either way, it happened to you and to your parents before you. Just like I had the coward thing going. And maybe your destiny was originally to overcome that and help everyone else break out of their clichés, but somewhere along the way someone fucked it up, whether it was Merlin or your parents' spell or Pinocchio - or me. One final choice on top of the rest that made that hero Emma less set in stone so when you made that choice at the time portal your destiny did a one-eighty to the asshole side. And can you really fight that? Can going back and not making that choice really prevent what all those other mistakes already set in motion so that we can put all our failures behind us, undo all the damage and the broken, not-so-heroic people that made us and just live happily ever after without any price?"

Emma hated when Neal got philosophical.

"I don't know," she sighed. "Maybe not. Maybe the price for fixing the universe is that we don't get to fix ourselves and live happily ever after, that Tallahassee is gone forever. It was a good dream, though, wasn't it?"

Neal smiled at that. "It was. Aside from being a swamp. It was a good concept, anyway. We were going to make our own destiny, our own happily ever after."

"I wish we could have done that," sniffed Emma. "I wish I could have gone back and never walked into that train station and gone to Canada with you and we'd have raised Henry and maybe I wouldn't have turned out such a maladjusted crap Savior, bad mom, and all around screw up of a person who didn't realize what I gave up until it was too late to get it back."

"Yeah, but here's the thing," said Neal, "contrary to the fairy tale worldview, relationships aren't just mortal peril, passion, and assholes pretending they are heroes by making out whenever morally ambiguous stuff pops up. I get that you were a loner, Emma, and I was too, and growing up all you had was the backseats of cars with boys and then motel rooms with whatever guy bought you a drink that night you were feeling lonely. But there's friends and there's family and just having coffee and grilled cheese."

"I guess so," muttered Emma, remembering Merlin's advice.

Shrugging, Neal amended, "I was never one for the grand and passionate - or instant at first sight get married and head off into the sunset. Which I know doesn't jive with the fairy tale thing. And I know you got accustomed to that way of doing things, how relationships, basic interactions work with people who grew up there: have an epic adventure, fight about how screwed up you are, defeat the bad guy, pretend all that screwed up stuff doesn't matter and declare undying adrenaline-fueled love. But that's just not my thing, Emma. And it's not real life, the life you're trying to give these people. The life you're trying to get for yourself to break that fourth wall.

"I love you, but I'm not going to just set aside all that's wrong with us - or just channel it into weird love-hate sex - so we can skip all the hard parts and have a post-villain-besting roll in the hay and call it 'Tallahassee'. We both deserve better than that kind of fake-ass cop-out of a happy ending. And I'd rather just have a good friend than that, to be honest."

"Is this the part where you tell me again that I need therapy?" sighed Emma.

"It's the part where we get in the car because it's fucking freezing out," replied Neal, which drew a snort from Emma.

"We've got a lot more baggage, Emma," he told her, laying a hand on her arm, "and now a lot of it we piled on each other. Sorting through that - it probably will require therapy. And that doesn't necessarily mean a happy ending. But we can still get lunch and talk about when we were happy together and find something good in those memories, even if we can't recreate them."

"You really suck at romance," grumbled Emma. "No wonder I went with bad one liners and plagiarized poetry. Your philosophical cynicism is a real mood-killer, Cassidy."

"Stealing a keychain wasn't romantic enough for you?" Neal asked and observed, "Don't tell me you tossed it in the sewer again."

Emma glowered while closing the trunk. "No. I lost it somewhere in the Shattered Sight mess, probably when Regina was trying to head-slam me into a desk. I haven't gotten back to the station to look for it... or my left earring... or my gun... which I should probably be more concerned about than I have the energy to be."

"Well, at least Regina was nice enough to heal your ear after ripping your earring out," Neal recalled.

"Only because she was annoyed that I was bleeding all over her dress. Now who's trying to revisionist history villains into heroes?"

"Touché."

After starting the engine, Emma asked, "I don't suppose you'd consider a friends with benefits situation? Share a shower?"

"Syphilis, remember?" smirked Neal, picking up the prescription bag he'd gotten from the pharmacy that morning.

Emma winced as she pulled onto the highway, heading back toward the nightmare that was her rebooted life. "Right, sorry."

"Well, it was your great grandfather and my mom's fault, I guess," Neal shrugged. "And not yours that angel couldn't pull enough strings to cleanse your brain and cure my magically-preserved corpse before translocating my fine self in front of your speeding-"

A very naked Hook suddenly came running out of the woods onto the highway and Emma slammed on the brakes - but not fast enough to keep from hitting the pirate who went tumbling into a ditch.

"Oh my God, oh my God!" Emma gasped as they bailed out the car and ran to see the carnage.

Thankfully - or not - Hook wasn't a mangled lump of roadkill. Emma hadn't actually been going that fast and other than some roadburn he seemed more-or-less okay, aside from the moaning, blubbering, and crying.

"Hook?" Emma tentatively asked, "are you... okay?"

Eyes wild, Hook reached out and grabbed fistfuls of Neal's hoodie and wailed, "I SHAGGED MY OWN WHORE MUM!"

"I can see that," uttered Emma.

"Gotta admit I had an inkling," agreed Neal.

As Hook supplemented his inconsolable weeping with vomiting in the ditch, Emma considered, "I should probably call for an ambulance. We're still on for grilled cheese after, though, right?"

AN: If Whale took Emma's necklace from Tink then why didn't he return it? What are those two weirdoes up to?

Next up: Snow gets out of the hospital!