Echoes in my Mind
Chapter 6: Confusion
As I began to wake, I turned over groggily and let out a tired sigh, squeezing my eyes shut tighter and nestling deeper under the silk covers…
Wait… Silk?
My eyes shot open instantly and I jolted upright, looking around frantically. I was definitely not in my room at Baker Street. However, I soon realized that this room was all too familiar; from the deep burgundy sheets to the ornate fireplace to the rich ruby carpet to the golden sconces on the walls… each detail reminding me that what had happened last night was real. That I was once again trapped in Ratigan's castle.
I swung my feet over the edge of the bed and slipped into a pair of slippers on the floor, grabbing a white robe hanging from the door of the wardrobe to put on over my thin nightgown. I headed over to the large window and pulled back the curtains, letting sunlight stream through, bathing the room in a warm golden hue.
The last time I was here in the middle of the night; so now I was able to view the surroundings during the day for the first time. Although I must have slept for the majority of the day, judging from the low position of the sun in the sky. I seemed to be in one of the high towers of the castle, and had a perfect view of the scenery below. The castle itself was actually perched high up on a hill, the jagged rocks making it difficult for anyone to enter or leave, as Basil and I had learned from experience. Mountains rose up on three sides of the castle, with the dark forest lying directly ahead to the north. A thick, unearthly fog seemed to be rolling in, especially around the forest. No wonder the police could never find this place; it was a miracle that Basil and I had found our own way out to begin with.
As I gazed out over the forest, I couldn't help wondering if Basil was out there. Of course, he would instigate a search as soon as he discovered my absence. Part of me was hopeful, and I was assured that he would stop at nothing to find me; but another part wanted him to not have any part of it. After all, there was no telling what dangers might be lurking out there, not to mention what, or rather who, would be waiting for him here.
I jumped slightly as a knock sounded on the door, breaking my thoughts. I took a deep breath, steeling my nerves to meet Ratigan again. However, I was infinitely relieved to see the lovely Miss Kitty glide into the room, her movements delicate and graceful even as she balanced a tray of food and tea in her hands.
"Hi, sweetie," she greeted with a smile, setting the tray on the table in front of the sofa and chaise lounge in the sitting area, then coming over to hug me. "It's good to see you again. Though I'm sorry we always have to meet this way."
"That's ok," I replied with a chuckle, returning her hug. "It's nice to see a friendly face."
I had only met the former stage singer once before when Basil and I had been held prisoner here all those months ago. But even in that brief amount of time, it was clear to see that she was a kind and friendly person, as well as very brave. She had actually helped us to escape, and if she hadn't shown up when she did, I don't think Basil and I would have made it. Thankfully, it seemed no one had ever found out about her involvement. And though it was good to see her, it was also further confirmation that all this was, in fact, real.
After I had dressed in a dark purple dress and made an attempt to tame my mess of curly hair, we sat down on the sofa in the sitting area to eat. "How are you feeling?" she asked she poured us both some tea.
"Okay, I guess," I replied, rubbing my neck absently; though surprisingly there was no mark where Ratigan had bitten me.
"The good thing is that vampire blood has healing qualities to it," Kitty remarked with a small smile. As strange as it sounded, I suppose it made sense. Maybe that's also part of why I never realized that those "dreams" I had of Ratigan drinking my blood at night were actually real; there was no evidence of it the next morning because the bite mark had healed so quickly. Well, no evidence other than the weakness and feeling of sickness from the blood loss, though thankfully that seemed to be getting better as well; possibly because my body was growing so used to the vampire blood.
"So…" I remarked quietly after eating in silence for a few moments. "Ratigan is a vampire."
"Hard to believe, isn't it?" Kitty replied, shaking her head.
I nodded in agreement. "How did it happen?"
"I'm not exactly sure," she replied. She placed a hand on her chin thoughtfully. "Though I think it had something to do with the visitor that arrived several months ago."
"Visitor?"
"Yes. He was a very tall mouse, with gray fur and long black hair, wearing a nice expensive suit. Unfortunately, I didn't catch his name; he had a fancy title, like a Count or something, and he was a foreigner. He came one night saying he had business to discuss with the Professor. Very dashing actually, if you prefer the tall, dark, and handsome type."
"Is he the one who changed Ratigan into a vampire?"
"No one knows for sure. They were alone, you see; but they talked for a good while. Of what, I have no idea. Then after he left… the Professor was never quite the same."
I sat quiet for a moment, wondering about this mysterious foreigner and why he would change Ratigan. Or why Ratigan would allow him to change him. Then another horrifying thought crossed my mind.
"But am I not a vampire now too since I… d-drank his blood?" I asked worriedly, shuddering at the thought and suddenly losing my appetite.
"Oh no, no, no, that's not how it works." She laid a comforting hand on my shoulder and paused for a moment. "In order to become a vampire," she said hesitantly, "you would have to die with vampire blood in your system."
I sat quietly in horror as the information sank in, but took a deep breath and waited for her to go on.
"Like I said," she continued, "A vampire's blood is very potent. A little of it can actually be beneficial to a mortal, such as to speed the healing of sickness or wounds. But the more of it you take, the more you begin to act like a vampire. You start to gain some of their abilities; improved sight, hearing, speed, agility… and eventually, you will also begin to crave blood. But it's only temporary, and as it passes out of your system, those side effects go away. Unless you share blood with a vampire so much to the point where there is more vampire blood inside you than mortal blood. It's like a poison. Then to make the transition, you have to die, losing your mortality… becoming an undead vampire."
I gulped nervously. "So if I were to die now, w-with Ratigan's blood in my system… I-I would…?"
She nodded slowly, and I trembled in fright. Was that Ratigan's plan? To take so much of my blood and replace it with his own, then kill me to make the transformation? Ratigan had been feeding on me for a while now; and he had called me his "Queen of Darkness…" He was a criminal after all; in fact, he was "the world's greatest criminal mind." He had murdered others in cold blood; and I was sure he wouldn't hesitate to do the same to me in order to get what he wanted.
Seeing my terrified expression, Kitty squeezed my hand in reassurance. "But don't worry, hon," she said with another warm smile. "I don't think the Professor would do such a thing to you. It may be hard to imagine, but I think he genuinely has feelings for you."
"Well, I don't feel for him like he does for me," I replied quietly.
"You don't have any feelings for him at all?" she prodded.
"Well, no, it's not that I... don't care for him at all…" I stammered nervously, finding myself torn and confused about my true feelings for the Professor. But I hastily added, "I-It's more like… I feel sorry for him. No one deserves to be treated the way he's been treated, and I'm sure that deep down, all he wants is a companion, someone to show him some compassion, just like everyone else wants." However, I shook my head in frustration, bringing a hand up to my head as a headache began to form. Maybe it was just the compulsion talking. He could be brainwashing me to fall in love with him, for all I knew. "But I love Basil," I emphasized.
Kitty nodded sympathetically. "And it's very clear that the feeling is mutual. In fact, I bet he's on his way here right now-" At that moment, she was interrupted by a knocking on the door, so she called out "Come in!" cheerily.
"Good afternoon, ladies," greeted Ratigan as he stepped inside the room, giving a polite little bow. "I do hope I'm not interrupting?"
As our eyes met, my heart pounded as I wondered just how long he'd been outside the door and how much of our conversation he'd heard. But it was a good thing Kitty was such an expert actress. "Not at all, Professor," Kitty replied flashing her best smile and giving no evidence of what we had been talking about as she stood up and gathered the remnants of the tray of food.
"Good, good. I was just thinking, Miss Amber, that I never finished giving you a proper tour of the castle. There's so much to show you; I would be delighted if you would accompany me?"
I pondered for a moment if it was such a good idea to be alone with him, but as Missy Kitty smiled encouragingly, I decided to play along for now and nodded to the Professor. "Of course, Professor," I replied politely with a smile, taking his offered hand. "I would like that."
"Please," he replied, taking my hand in his, "call me Padraic."
"Padraic," I repeated, giving the name a try. "Is that Irish?" I asked.
"It is," he answered with a smile. As we exited my room, he went on to say how his grandparents had immigrated from Ireland, yet he only mentioned it briefly, avoiding any talk of his past as usual. Instead, he expounded on the choice of his name, how it was a form of "Patrick," its meaning and origins.
And so began our tour as we walked arm in arm throughout his home. I had to admit, it was a magnificent place, filled with so many rooms that it seemed that you would have to spend days just to see each one. We passed the familiar music room, filled with Ratigan's beloved harp as well as every other instrument imaginable; the large dining hall, filled with long tables and humongous crystal chandeliers overhead; and countless other rooms. I had hoped that the tour would help me to learn my way around in case I should ever have a chance to escape; yet with each new room and passageway, it had quite the opposite effect.
"This one is another favorite of mine," said Ratigan as we came to a huge library of sorts, filled with books of all shapes and sizes, as well as a large oak desk and ornate fireplace. "I come here often whenever I need to think in peace."
"You have a lovely home," I remarked, running my hand along the carved mantelpiece.
"Thank you," Ratigan replied happily. "I'm so pleased to hear that you like it. It is now your home as well, you know."
"You can't honestly expect me to just stay here with you," I said incredibly.
"Actually, I do; because as far as I'm concerned, our bargain still stands."
I crossed my arms irately. "Our bargain was that I would join you only if you promised not to harm Basil."
"And I have kept up my part. When I brought you here, I could have just as easily brought him along as well… or better yet, spared myself the trouble and just destroyed him then and there. But, to honor our agreement, I've left him alone; at least for the moment. I would hate to think of what misfortunes might befall dear Basil should you attempt an escape…" I gulped nervously as his eyes grew dark. But he shrugged carelessly. "Besides, he would only hamper my plans further if he were here."
"And what plans are they exactly? All those innocent people you killed…they had families, friends… lives. And you destroyed them, all to satisfy your own selfish needs."
"If only it were that simple," he said with a shake of the head. "No, no, my dear Amber. I'm afraid it is a much bigger plan than that."
"I'm listening."
"Well, first off, you assume all the victims are dead. Not true. In fact, a vast majority of them are here in this castle. But they serve a greater purpose now."
"What purpose?" I prodded.
"I've told you, to serve me, to carry out my orders. Some I've changed into vampires to serve as my minions. Others are here to sustain our way of life. You see, if we continue to prey upon the citizens of Mousedom, it will draw more attention to our presence. Hence, we have need of a sort of stock reserve here in case it should prove too dangerous to venture into the city. Vampires need food to live too, you know."
"So you… you've kidnapped people to use as a food source?"
"Something of the sort. Secondly, you assume I'm working alone.
"Aren't you?"
"Of course not! I may be a criminal mastermind, but some plans simply cannot be carried out by one lone individual. I need minions, allies, to aid me in my conquest."
"Well, I'm not going to be another one of your puppets to do with as you please."
"If you recall, I have ways to make certain you do stay."
"So what, you're going to brainwash me into falling in love with you?"
"The thought has crossed my mind." My heart pounded to think that he actually had that much power over me, and was quite capable of doing so. "But I would rather you make that decision for yourself. Say I was to compel you. You would be mine forever, yes. But it wouldn't be real. You would only be acting as I wished for you to act. It would all be a lie. I don't want that. I want something real."
"What about you? Do you really love me? Have you ever really loved anyone besides yourself? I realize you've had a difficult past. It's completely unfair the way you've been treated. But that doesn't give you license to do as you please and manipulate others to do what you want. I don't think you love me. You love the idea of being in love."
"Is it really any different between you and Basil? If you had met me first, it might be the other way around. I think you love him because he was the first to ever show any interest in you. So tell me, Miss Amber… do you truly love him? And are you so sure that he shares those same feelings for you?"
"O-Of course he does. I-I mean, we haven't' known each other for very long...less than a year… but yes, he…"
I trailed off as Ratigan took my hands in his and gazed down at me. "Has he looked you square in the eyes, taken you into his arms, and told how much you mean to him? That he loves you?"
A cold chill took hold of me as I realized that we hadn't exchanged those three little words. We had only been courting for a few months; it never consisted of more than going on outings together, holding hands, the occasional kiss or two. I tried to shake my head to dispel the thought, knowing that that was probably his plan, to confuse me about my feelings for Basil; but unfortunately, the doubt had already taken hold and was spreading like a poison through my mind.
"Why me?" I said pleaded quietly. "Out of all the women in Mousedom, why choose me? I'm the furthest thing from perfect. And I would think that someone with as much power and wealth as you claim to possess would have women fawning all over him. Was there no one before me... someone that you've ever loved more than yourself?"
To my surprise, he wasn't able to meet my eyes and actually turned his back to me. But not before I caught a look of sadness on his face. He stood very still for a few moments, as if gathering his composer.
"There was someone… wasn't there?" I whispered, feeling a pang of sympathy for him. He stood there still as a statue, staring out the window into the dark. I reached out to touch his shoulder, but stopping as he spoke.
"I have found, Miss Amber," he said, "That what has past is better left in the past."
I dropped my hand and stepped back, gulping nervously as his stern eyes met mine, warning me not to pursue the subject further. Though I was extremely curious, I wisely heeded the warning. We stood still for several awkward moments, until Ratigan turned back to me with a sigh.
"You have no idea of the effect you have on people," he said with a shake of his head. "I'll admit that at first, I was only interested in using you as a means of defeating my mortal enemy. However, I've come to realize during our brief time together that… that you are a remarkable young woman. Kind, compassionate, intelligent, brave. I believe you have the makings of a great queen. Imagine…" his eyes shone with excitement as he spoke, "Imagine what we could accomplish together."
I looked down at the floor, shifting my weight to the other foot awkwardly. I just didn't see myself as queen material. "I'm not cut out to be a queen," I admitted shyly. "I don't care for power or riches. A-And, to be honest… I just don't trust you."
To my surprise, Ratigan nodded in understanding. "I suppose I'll have to find a way to earn your trust then."
We stood there for several awkward moments, unsure of what to say next. I watched as he leaned against the fireplace casually, his movements so smooth and graceful.
"What happened to you?" I asked, curious about his transformation, and also hoping to change the subject. "I-I mean how did you become…?"
"This?" he finished, gesturing to himself. I nodded embarrassedly, not sure of how to word the question. He chuckled in response. "It was actually part of a business negotiation. As you know, I am the head of Mousedom's criminal organization, and my influence reaches throughout circles in Great Britain and even your own America. But it comes as no surprise that there are others like myself out there with their own little rings of crime. But I am one of the foremost leaders in my… eh, 'profession'… And it seems that news of my exploits has spread overseas and reached the ears of another prominent criminal mind. A few months ago, this individual actually paid me a visit to see my accomplishments for himself. He was clearly impressed, and applauded me in my success. He is very much like myself, possessing an organization of his own, and he expressed interest in combining our efforts to strengthen our power even further. I admit, the idea was of great appeal to me, especially as he recounted his own success. He is a Count, a prominent figure in his country, with enormous wealth and power, and is feared by all who know him.
"And so, after much discussion, he made this offer: if I were to join him as an ally, he would give me something that would give me ultimate power over my enemies. And so, we agreed to join forces…"
"…a-and the power he gave you…
"…was to change me into a vampire."
I gulped nervously before stating my next question. "A-And are you going to… turn me?"
"No," he replied, shaking his head. I gave a quiet sigh of relief. "Though there are many advantages to being a vampire," he explained, "you will always be a slave to your thirst. You may learn to control it, but it will never be fully satisfied. I would not force such a burden upon you."
"Yet you don't mind forcing me to be your queen," I retorted, becoming annoyed again.
"You will thank me one day," he said, a hint of malice in his voice. "When the rest of Mousedom, including your precious detective, is subject to my wrath, you will stand by my side. Changing you into a vampire is not a necessity. Either way, you will still be my queen of darkness. Besides… I'm growing quite fond of your blood. I'm… I'm growing addicted to it. The more I taste, the more I want..."
I could feel the desperation in his voice, see the pain in his eyes; and for an instant, that pang of sympathy I felt for him returned yet again. After all the things he'd gone through because of his species, and now he was also to suffer the tortures of being a vampire? It just… didn't seem fair. My emotions were conflicted again; I mean, he was talking about drinking my blood… yet somehow, he still managed to make me feel sorry for him. Perhaps it was intentional… perhaps not.
"Be very still," he ordered quietly, his low baritone causing shivers to run down my spine. He parted my hair to one side, exposing the left side of my neck, and I froze as I felt his warm breath on my fur. My heart pounded frantically as he gripped my shoulders gently and bent his head down, bringing his lips to my throat. I tensed up, waiting to feel the piercing sting of his fangs sinking into my skin, but he only kissed my neck softly. "However," he continued, "I don't wish to harm you." He chuckled quietly, his voice rumbling in his chest. "Quite a predicament, isn't it?"
Author's Note: Phew, here it is (FINALLY)... the update you've been waiting for. So sorry it took so long, and thank you very much for being patient with me.
I wondered if I shouldn't add a little more, but I decided to stop here and I'll just add the rest to the next chapter.