A/N: Sorry for the delay with this chapter everyone, but I got distracted. I started an outtake for Turning Tables and a new fic for Jily Pirate Fest.
Anyway, it's done now, and I promise to do my best to be quicker with the next one.
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6th July 1977, 8.45pm
Lily closed the door of her room behind her and heaved a sigh of relief. If someone had told her last week that she'd miss Petunia's scowling presence she'd have laughed, but now Petunia was away on her honeymoon with the dreaded walrus, and she was the sole focus of her parents attentions. She was sure that would have sounded nice to most people; those people had never met Lily's mother.
Rosemarie Evans was the best mother Lily could have asked for, and she loved her dearly, but when it came to the subject of boys she had about as much rationality as a Hippogriff, and since that fateful meeting with James on the platform she'd been poking and prodding for as much information as possible. Information that Lily was not keen on being forthcoming with.
Then there had been the wedding. An event that James had shown up to in an incredibly expensive and well-tailored suit (Lily still felt a little guilty about how much he must have spent on something he'd probably only ever wear once) and had proceeded to convince the vast majority of her family that he was God's gift. Her mother had spent the last week acting like Lily was Jane Bennett, and she'd spotted Mr Bingley.
'Will we be seeing James again over the summer? Perhaps you ought to invite him over.'
'Where did you say he lived again? And what do his parents do?'
Her father had chosen to maintain a stony silence on the entire topic. He'd ignored his wife's suggestions that they invite the Potter's over for a nice meal, had responded only with grunts when asked if he thought Lily and James made a pretty couple at the wedding and had growled under his breath when Rosemarie suggested Lily invite James stay, since she "must be lonely without her sister".
Between her father's apparent disapproval, and her mother's fantasies of James as a son-in-law, Lily would have been extremely grateful to have Petunia around to draw some of the attention away from her for a while, even if it meant being screamed at every now and again.
She loved her parents, and missed them when she was away, but the pressure of being around them constantly was draining. She'd compromised by spending most of the day with them if they were home, then retreating to her room after dinner to write letters to her friends.
And now she was just lying to herself wasn't she? Because yes, she did write to Marlene, and Alice, Emma and Remus, and God help her she'd even written to Sirius, but that wasn't who she was writing to every day was it? She wrote to them once, maybe twice a week. She wrote to James every day.
Every damn day, she wrote something to him, even if she didn't send it immediately, and even though nothing interesting had happened and she didn't really have anything to say. She just put her quill on the paper and words poured out. What was really amazing was that he replied. Every time, even though all she sent him were random streams of consciousness that should really be impossible to reply to.
It was baffling.
She sat down at her desk and pulled a fresh sheet of parchment to her, picking up her favourite quill – birthday gift from Remus, God bless him – and dipping into her blue ink.
James,
I miss Petunia.
I can't believe I said that, but it's true. I mean, I always missed her, in the sense that I missed actually being friends with her, but now I just wish she was here, even if it meant she was calling me names and yelling at me.
I think there's something seriously wrong with me. I'm a masochist.
My mother is on at me to invite your parents round for dinner. Do me a favour and intercept any mail that comes for your parents with my owl; Mum is absolutely sneaky enough to try and borrow Sadie without telling me.
Though to be fair she's not having much opportunity at the moment, since I'm keeping Sadie so occupied with my letter writing; I think I'm writing to everyone I know.
Did you know that Alice is going to stay with Frank for a few days before he starts auror training? She scared stiff; apparently his mother is terrifying. Marly thinks she should just hex her right from the off and be done with it, but I've been the voice of reason and suggested that she not assume the worst. It's poor Frank I feel sorry for, trying to referee between his mother and his girlfriend.
I got a letter from Marly today – finally, she's awful at writing back – and I'm going to stay with her next week, so that should give you a break from answering my letters, since I won't be able to write so often.
I'm sure you're too busy to be spending time reading and responding to my ramblings anyway; you have Sirius to look after. I imagine it to be somewhat like being a keeper at the monkey house of a zoo.
I'm stopping now.
Love
L
She sealed the letter and dropped it one her desk, tapping the fingernails of one hand on the desk in a rhythmic pattern. Sadie was home, so she could send it off now, or she could wait for James' owl to arrive tomorrow morning and send it back with him. That was, assuming that James had written back to her today anyway. Which he might not have done. Not that it mattered. Not at all. He might have been busy.
She was insane.
Sighing, she pulled another piece of parchment from the pile and started another letter. James' letter could wait a few hours; she had a more important one to send.
Marly,
What would you say if I told you that I might – hypothetically - fancy James Potter?
Lily
She sealed the letter and sent it with Sadie before she could second guess herself.
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7th July 1977, 12.30pm
Lily hummed as she tidied up after lunch; she liked doing chores the muggle way from time to time. It was soothing in a way. She supposed she might not feel that way if she had to do it all the time, but since she didn't have to do chores often, and she always had the option of her wand if she did, she found herself humming along to the radio and dancing around the kitchen as she put dishes away.
'Someone's cheerful.' Her mother's voice from the hallway made her jump and almost drop a plate, and she slapped her hand over her heart.
'Merlin mum, you nearly killed me!'
Rosemarie's lips twitched. 'Well, if you hadn't been humming and dancing round the kitchen, you might have heard me come in. I repeat; someone's cheerful.'
Lily shrugged. 'No reason not to be.'
'Hmm.' Rose crossed to the sideboard and flicked the kettle on. 'Seems to me that you've been more cheerful than normal recently.'
'Do you think so?' Lily resumed her tidying.
'Yes I do.' Said her mother, obviously not going to be deterred by the fact that her daughter was resolutely keeping her back to her. 'Something's obviously perking you up these days. Or someone.'
Lily laughed. 'Maybe I'm just happy to be home Mum.'
'That might work on your father sweetheart, but it doesn't fool me.' Rosemarie fished two mugs from the cupboard and added sugar, tapping her spoon on the countertop as she waited patiently for the kettle. 'I may be your mother, but I'm also a woman, and I know that it's a man that's put that kind of spring in your step.'
Lily spun round to gape at her mother. 'On behalf of all feminists everywhere, I am thoroughly ashamed of you for that statement.'
'Oh hush.' Her mother poured boiling water into the teapot and absently continued going through the motions of brewing tea. 'This is about you Lily, not feminist principles. I'm not suggesting that you need a boyfriend to be happy, I'm merely pointing out that the appearance of a certain candidate for the position and your good mood seem to have coincided.'
'Mum.' Lily turned to face her mother, leaning back against the counter. 'James isn't my boyfriend.'
'I know that sweetheart.' Rosemarie passed her a mug of tea which Lily gratefully sipped at. 'But I also know that you want him to be.'
Lily's head jerked up and she stared at her mother, whose hand gently brushed her cheek. 'You're so much like your father. You observe and analyse and try to think through every last blessed thing; some things don't stand up to scrutiny like that sweetheart. Sometimes you've just got to dive in and see how things are, instead of worrying about what they might be.'
They were interrupted then by the arrival of Sadie, closely followed by a tawny owl that they both recognised as James'. Each delivered a letter and accepted a treat before swooping back outside to perch next to each other in the same tree.
Lily's mother smiled over her mug. 'I'll leave you to read your mail in peace.'
She wandered out, humming softly to herself, and Lily settled down at the table, still slightly baffled by the conversation they'd just had.
She looked at the two letters, and eventually decided to bite the bullet and open Marlene's first.
Lily,
What would I say if you told me that you might – hypothetically - fancy James Potter?
I would say: 'Really? I would never have guessed.'
And I would have said it in the most sarcastic tone possible.
But since I'm such a fantastic friend, I'm not going to mention this to anybody, including Sirius, despite the fact that he's been trying his very best to get me to "find out what's going on between her and my best mate, because he won't tell me anything, the bastard".
Marly
Lily read the letter again, sighed and reached for James'.
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12th July 1977, 9.20am
James reached for the butter and found it snatched out from under his hand by Sirius who held it away from him triumphantly.
'I'm not giving it back until you tell me what's going on with you and the redhead.'
James gave him an incredulous look. 'You're going to hold the butter hostage?'
'No.' Said Sirius firmly. 'I'm going to harass you and impede everything you do until you spill your guts. That includes preventing you from buttering your toast.'
'Seems a little extreme Sirius.' Mr Potter didn't even lower his newspaper as he spoke. 'Are you really going to dedicate that much time and effort into prying into your brother's love life?'
Sirius looked over at him, eyes wide. 'I'd tell him about mine Charlus! It's hardly fair.'
'I don't want to know about yours do I?' James muttered, glaring at Sirius and surreptitiously pulling his wand out below the table.
'But I'd still tell you!'
'Oh Sirius, leave him alone.' Mrs Potter rolled her eyes as James used a quick accio charm to send the butter flying towards him and Sirius lunged after it in an attempt to keep it away. 'If he doesn't want to talk about it, then he doesn't.'
'Thank you Mum.' James said with as much dignity as he could muster when he was wrestling Sirius for a butter dish.
'You should be on my side here Dorea, I know you're interested.' Sirius let go of the butter dish and straightened up in his seat.
'Maybe, but at least I know when badgering won't do me any good.' Dorea replied calmly, sipping at her coffee.
The post owls swooped in, bringing their usual array of mail including, of course, the morning paper and a letter from Lily.
James picked the envelope and couldn't help the little smile that crossed his face when he thought about the fact that Lily was writing to him more or less every day. Her letters were usually just a jumble of thoughts, whatever was on her mind at the time, and he liked it like that; it reminded him of their actual conversations, when they just chatted casually about anything and everything, more for the pleasure of each other's company than anything else.
He frowned a little as he realised that the envelope she'd sent today was significantly thicker than usual; he opened it neatly and pulled out a folded piece of parchment and another smaller envelope, made of brightly coloured paper that felt almost plasticky to the touch. He unfolded the note and scanned through it quickly.
James
I feel a bit stupid sending you these, and I don't know if you'll actually want them, but I ordered extra copies so...just send them back if you don't want them.
I'm off to stay with Marly, so I can't write you a proper letter right now because she'll skin me if I'm late meeting her, but I'll write to you soon.
You'll probably enjoy having a break from my letters anyhow.
Love
L
Pretending he didn't feel a little pang at the thought of not hearing from her so regularly, James turned his attention to the little envelope. Pointedly ignoring the watchful eyes of his family, he opened it and pulled out a handful of muggle photographs.
Him and Lily laughing as they sat at their table, her hand resting lightly on his arm, her body tilted towards him.
Lily holding onto his arm for support as she stood on her tiptoes to wave her sister's wedding car off.
Him surrounded by a sea of Lily's relatives while she stood off to one side and watched him being grilled, her lips pulled up in a cocky grin.
The two of them dancing, his hands resting on her back and hers locked round his neck while she tilted her head back to look up at him.
Another of them dancing, her head turned to one side and resting against his chest and his face buried in her hair.
He lingered on that one, taking in the small smile on her face and the way her fingers clung to his shoulder. It was strange to look at muggle photos; with no movement to tell you what was going on you could almost make up your own stories about the people in the images.
He was jolted back to reality when someone cleared their throat, and he looked up to see his entire family watching him curiously. To be fair, he was smiling so hard his face hurt so it was no wonder really.
He passed the photos to his mother with a shrug. Since he had every intention of keeping them, and of plastering every available surface in his room with them, they might as well see them now.
His mother's face lit up with a smile. 'Oh, there's something so wonderful about muggle photos! They're like those snow globe things; perfect little moments preserved.'
She flicked through the photos, her smile widening with every one she looked at until she came to the last one, the one that James had lingered on. She passed the others to her husband, but simply stared at the shot of him and Lily dancing, her face unreadable.
'Mum?' James interrupted her reverie. 'Are you okay?'
'Yes. Yes.' She looked up and gave him a smile, though he thought it looked a little weak. 'I'm fine. It's just seeing you all grown up. My baby boy.'
James groaned. 'Oh bloody hell mum, don't start with all that.'
She smiled at him, a full smile this time. 'I'm allowed – mother's privilege.'
'Don't worry Dorea.' Sirius was looking at the photos now, his eyebrows raised. 'You'll still have me. I don't plan on growing up for a long time. Lily's got one hell of a set of pins doesn't she?'
James snatched the photos back and whacked Sirius across the back of the head with his napkin.
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16th July 1977, 2.15pm
Dorea opened the door to James' room quietly and slid in, clean laundry clutched in her arms. It had upset the house elves no end when she'd told them that she wanted to take it up to his room, but she felt better about having a legitimate reason for being in there. Not that motherly concern wasn't a good reason; she just knew James wouldn't see it that way.
She placed the clean clothes on his bed and looked around his room. It looked much like it always had, but she felt like she could see the changes in it today, see the change in him reflected in his surroundings.
The Quidditch posters and childhood scribblings of his youth were long gone from his walls, replaced by photos of his friends and a Gryffindor banner. No more toys scattered on the floor; instead there were textbooks piled on the desk, alongside an open inkwell and a stack of parchment. His school trunk was slung in one corner, the top open and his school Quidditch robes hung over the side.
Unable to help herself she wandered over to the desk and touched the parchment that lay across it; an unfinished letter to Lily.
Lily,
Stop being ridiculous, I love getting your letters. I'd miss them if you didn't write.
I miss you.
I know I probably shouldn't say things like that, but I do. Even though it's only been a little more than two weeks since I saw you. I'm holding Hogwarts responsible. If they'd let us sit our apparition test this year I would be able to see you whenever I wanted.
I have seen Frank actually, I caught up with him yesterday, and he said that he thought Alice's visit with his family went well; that's quite a different story to the one Alice tells.
She dropped the letter with a sigh, and squashing the guilt, opened the drawer in his desk. There was a stack of folded parchment in the top one, James' name written on them in Lily's handwriting. He kept her letters.
She closed the drawer swiftly, before the urge to pry further and read them overpowered her.
She wandered over to the wall where he'd stuck up photos in a haphazard manner. There were pictures of the Gryffindor Quidditch team in its various incarnations, pictures taken at family events, photos of James and the Marauders, of his other friends, including Marlene, Alice and several others. But it was Lily's face she sought out; and her face was there a lot.
Lily laughing along with the group; Lily thrown over Sirius' shoulder; Lily and James walking arm in arm. And the pictures from Petunia's wedding.
She couldn't say how long she stood there, but she jumped when the door opened behind her and she spun around quickly; to her relief, it wasn't James coming in but Charlus, his brow furrowed in confusion at finding his wife in James' room.
'Everything okay Dor?' He asked.
She gave him a weak smile. 'Fine. Everything's fine.'
He nodded. 'What are you doing in here?'
'Putting James' laundry away.' She answered calmly, crossing to James' bed and beginning to stack his clean clothes in neat piles to go in his wardrobe.
'So the house elves told me when I asked where you were. I didn't believe them either.' Charlus perched on the edge of the bed and looked at her intently. 'What's wrong Dor?'
She sighed and sat down next to him. She should have known that he'd see right through her. 'Nothing's wrong. I was just…I was thinking about him. About how he's not my baby boy anymore.'
Charlus scoffed. 'He'll always be your baby boy.'
She rose and crossed to the wall of photos. 'Have you ever looked at these Charlus? His photos I mean.'
He crossed the room to stand next to her. 'No, not really.'
'Neither had I. Look at them.' Dorea gestured towards the wall. 'Seeing those pictures at breakfast the other day…it was a shock. It made me realise how much he's changed, and…I've missed it.'
'He's been at school Dor; you haven't neglected him, or ignored him. He's just growing up, and we only see him at breaks.' Charlus sounded mildly exasperated.
'I know that.' She answered. 'And it doesn't upset me that he's grown up; I'm so proud of the person he's becoming actually. It's that he doesn't tell me everything anymore. He's growing away from me, and I know that's the right thing, but it's hard to realise.'
Charlus put his arm around her shoulder and gave her a reassuring squeeze. They stood silently, looking at James' pictures for a few moments before Dorea spoke again.
'He's in love with her.' Charlus didn't say anything.
'He's in love with her and I didn't realise.' She said quietly. 'I knew he liked her – talks about her enough - and when I saw them at the station, I thought that maybe they were dating, or getting there anyway. But he didn't say anything, and I know he'll only talk if he wants to so I just left it. And then I saw that picture.' She indicated the photo of James and Lily dancing, her wrapped up in his arms and his face pressed to her hair. 'And I suddenly knew that he's in love with her.'
Charlus tightened his grip. 'Well…I'm not sure a father knows what to say on topics like this. But it's not a bad thing, is it Dor? Lily's a good girl, and…looking at that picture, I'd say that there's a fair chance she returns his feelings.'
Dorea leaned her head on his arm. 'I think you're probably right. And yes, she seems a lovely girl. And I want my son to have what we have with someone. But not now. There's a war, and she's a muggleborn, and we're blood traitors…' She trailed off. 'I just wish this hadn't happened until long after all this is over.'
Charlus sighed. 'Some things you can't change.'
The door behind them slammed open and James stopped just as he entered the room, obviously surprised to see them there. He slowed his pace and walked slowly over to his bed and threw the book he was carrying down onto it.
'I didn't do it.' He said slowly, looking from one parent to another.
His father frowned. 'Didn't do what?'
'Whatever you're here to gang up on me about.'
His mother started laughing and Charlus twisted to face her, startled by her unexpected reaction. James' face was set in an equally perplexed expression.
'I'm sorry! Sorry.' Dorea took several gulps of air as she regained control, then she walked over and engulfed a startled James in a hug. 'I was doing your laundry and I got distracted by your pictures, and then your father came looking for me. We weren't waiting for you.'
'Oh.' James still looked confused, and Dorea stepped back from him, her hands resting on his arms as she looked him over.
'I was looking at how grown up and handsome you are in those pictures, and then you came in and said the exact same thing you would've said when you were ten years old.' She engulfed him in another crushing hug and James stared frantically over her shoulder at his father, hoping for a clue about this odd behaviour; his father just shrugged.
Dorea kissed his forehead and stepped away. 'You're still my sweet baby boy.'
'Mum.' His cheeks flushed, and Dorea patted him on the cheek and laughed delightedly before tucking her arm through Charlus' and leading him out of the room. James stared after them, completely dumbfounded.
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20th July 1977, 11.30am
'Letter for you.' Marlene dropped the envelope on the coffee table directly in front of Lily who blushed and ignored it.
'Popular aren't you? Letters every day more or less.' Marlene's mother smiled at the two girls from her seat across the living room, and Marlene snickered as she flopped down on the sofa next to Lily.
'Popular with a certain very select group Mum.'
Lily kicked her in the shin. 'If you don't mind, I'm going to go read my letter.'
Marlene waved a bored hand. 'Go ahead. I wouldn't want to deprive you of your fix of Potter.'
Lily blushed and left the sitting room, trying to pretend that she couldn't hear Marlene's mother asking if she meant James Potter, and if he was the one who wrote to Lily so often, and if they were an item. She closed the door to Marlene's room and flopped on her stomach on her camp bed.
Lily
I'm glad you're having a good time staying with Marlene. Honestly, I was starting to get a bit worried, you sounded quite down about being at home.
Anyway, you seem a bit happier now, so I'm glad.
I think you should be happy that Petunia sent you a postcard from her honeymoon. I know she only wrote one sentence, but she still thought of you and sent you a postcard right? Moony would probably say something profound about the power of positive thinking, but alas I am not him and don't have his way with words. Or his insight into the mystery that is the female mind. The rest of us prefer not to speculate on how he knows all this stuff about girls, but I have to admit that every now and again I get curious.
Maybe you could ask him for me.
What am I up to this week? Well, Sirius and I played so much Quidditch yesterday that I'm not sure I ever want to see a quaffle again. I might quit the team when we get back to school.
The other houses would be pleased – they might actually get a chance to win the cup! (That was a joke, I'm not that arrogant. A little cocky maybe, but not that arrogant.)
I wanted to ask if you were busy next month actually, because Mum has said I can invite you to stay. If you'd like to. I was thinking the second week, around the 8th? Mainly because Sirius is supposed to be staying with Marls for a few days that week, so you won't have to suffer the joy of his presence for too long.
Just let me know if you can. Or if you don't want to that's fine as well.
But I'd like to see you.
Write back.
Love
J
Lily dropped the letter onto the floor in front of her and rested her head on her folded arms. Stay with James. That was…dangerous.
But she really, really wanted to.
Merlin.
She lifted her head when she heard the door open, and Marlene smiled gently as she came in and sat on the edge of her bed.
'From James then?'
Lily nodded. 'He's uh…asked me to stay with him next month.'
Marlene raised her eyebrows. 'Are you going?'
'Don't know. Don't know if I should.' Lily's head sank back onto her arms and Marlene sighed and slid off her bed and onto the floor next to Lily.
'Lils. I know that you haven't wanted to talk about James, and that's okay. I mean, I haven't even asked you about that note you sent me, and I've been bursting to. But if you do…want to talk about it, you can talk to me. I won't tell anyone else.'
Lily's head rose. 'I'm sorry Marly. I never meant to make it seem like I couldn't talk to you. I know I can. You were the only one I could have sent that note to, knowing that you wouldn't laugh at me.'
Marlene raised a hand to stop her and shook her head. 'I'm not bent out of shape that you haven't talked to me. It's your business. I'm just offering you the chance to unload; I know that we're not always the "serious talk" type friends, but you can trust me with this.'
Lily smiled gratefully, and after a seconds thought, dismissed the internal war her head was fighting over this and blurted out the words that she'd been keeping bottled up for so long.
'I kissed him on New Year's Eve.'
Marlene let out a low whistle. 'Oh.'
'Yeah.' Lily blew out a breath. 'He kind of kept me company and cheered me up, and at midnight I just, I just went with instinct. And I kissed him.' She tangled her fingers together and stared at them as she continued. 'We pretty much haven't mentioned it since, but then we sort of started talking, and we became friends, and, well you know that much.'
'It was quite obvious.' Agreed Marlene.
'And then we kissed again. Back in May. But this time he kissed me, and afterwards we talked about it and I said that I wasn't sure how I felt, but I knew that I liked him. And I wasn't ready to start anything yet, and he said that was fine.'
'Okay.' Marlene spoke slowly. 'And since you two haven't been fighting, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that he was okay with that?'
Lily nodded and Marlene carried on. 'Then what's wrong? Sounds like you're more or less on the same page, so there's no reason you can't go and stay with him; I know you miss him.'
Lily bit the inside of her cheek and wondered whether she ought to answer honestly. Closing her eyes, she blurted it out.
'Because if I spend a week at his home, we're guaranteed to end up alone and I don't know that I won't just pounce on him.'
'Maybe that wouldn't be so bad.' Lily slammed her eyes open in time to see Marlene's face curl into a wicked grin. 'Get it out of your system so to speak.'
Lily eyed her. 'Sirius must lead an interesting life.'
'I do my best to save him from boredom.' Marlene flopped on her back on the floor alongside Lily's camp bed. 'So what are you going to do?'
Lily closed her eyes and covered her face with her hands. 'I don't know.'
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25th July 1977, 4.45pm
James sat on his bed and stared at the envelope with his name written on the outside in Lily's neat script. For reasons he didn't really want to consider, he was nervous about opening it.
It had been five days since he'd written to invite her to stay at Potter Manor. He'd been extremely unsure about that, but he wanted to see her and his mother had been pushing, and he'd finally done it…and she hadn't answered.
Five days. The longest she'd gone without answering a letter since school had ended. He was horribly afraid that he'd scared her off for good.
Cursing himself for being an idiot, he ripped the envelope open; better to get it done.
James
Sorry about the delay in answering – Marlene was keeping me busy. The girl is like a mini-tornado – Sirius must be exhausted all the time.
And there is no way I'm questioning Remus for you; you want insight into your friend's weird mind, you ask him.
You and I both know that you could never quit the Quidditch team, though I don't doubt that the other houses would be pleased. And you are the cockiest person I've ever met. I'm not saying you don't have the right to be cocky when it comes to Quidditch, but the point stands.
I had to owl my parents to ask about staying with you, so waiting for a reply delayed this letter as well. But if the offer is still open, I would love to come and stay with you.
Just let me know when, and I can make arrangements to come.
Love
L
James flopped back on his bed and breathed an enormous sigh of relief. She wasn't mad at him. And she was coming to stay.
Two weeks.
He could do two more weeks without her.
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A/N: Reviews are lovely. Yes, that is a hint. Subtle, no?