Severus slammed the door leading to the Headmaster's office and strode down the spiral staircase, scowling intensely. It was the early morning, the morning after Slughorn's party. Severus had just finished an incredibly angering conversation, no sorry argument with Albus. He walked quickly towards his office, fuming.

A few minutes before, Severus had knocked on Albus' door. He was curious to know how the Headmaster had dealt with McLaggen. In his eyes, the boy deserved nothing less than being expelled. Albus answered a 'Come in Severus' and so he did just that. Inside, the wizard was seated at his desk. Severus walked forward, then started to pace back and forth. Albus was still writing what seemed to be a letter and hadn't looked up yet. Severus sighed impatiently and sniffed. 'So what happens to the boy?'

Albus stop writing and put his quill back into his ink pot. He looked up at Severus and leaned back into his chair, eyes grave.

'Mister McLaggen will not be expelled.' Severus stopped pacing, to stare unceremoniously at the Headmaster. He cocked his head and said slowly 'Pardon?'

The old man in the chair nodded. 'I talked to Miss Granger this morning. She doesn't wish to see Mister McLaggen expelled.' Severus started to speak then, outraged. 'How come? The boy violated her! He can't be aloud to continue his education here! What if he attacks her again?' his anger at the boy was clear in his tone of voice, even if Severus was trying to control his emotions. He couldn't believe the girl. Why in the world would she want McLaggen to stay? Unless... No! He needed to know. He was cringing inwardly at the idea.

'Does she still...harbor... some feelings for McLaggen?' he asked, disgusted at the thought that Miss Granger would still feel something after the events of the night before. Dumbledore looked at him curiously before answering. 'No, of course not, except that she thinks that he should be permitted to graduate from Hogwarts. He won't be able to approach her at all for the rest of the year and if he does, or talks about the incident, he will then be expelled. He will also served detentions with Argus every day, until the year is out. Finally, the events shall be recorded and will appear on his diploma. Don't worry Severus, I'm not letting the boy off easily.'

'Letting him off easily? Had he gone further, Miss Granger would been completely raped!' Severus roared, slamming his hands hard on Dumbledore's desk, all of his pent-up anger from the night before, from this conversation, from all of her, spilling out in that one sentence. He was leaning heavily on the desk, with his shoulders hunched forward. Albus was gazing at him curiously, which was making Severus angrier. His eyes were searching Severus', slightly questioning. He hadn't flinched when Severus had exploded and now remained calm.

'Severus, I assure you that Mister McLaggen will be as punished as I see fit, but also by respecting Miss Granger's wishes.' Albus clear, soft spoken words brought Severus out of his rage. He realized that he couldn't convince Dumbledore to punish McLaggen more intensely. He stood up and turned to leave when Dumbledore called out to him.

'Severus, this could be a golden opportunity.' Severus turned to stare at him.

'What do you mean, Albus?' Severus said directly, but with no other emotion present. Albus had already seen too much of his emotions for today, he thought grimly.

He stood, pushing his chair backwards, and advanced to gaze out if one of his windows. Severus couldn't see Albus' face, but he knew from his tone of voice that there was to be not argument.

'I mean to say, that in light of past events, it is safe to say that Miss Granger lacks a bit of good old muggle self defense. Now, don't smirk Severus, though us wizards have wands, there could always be a time when those weapons are not available and we must result to our own physical strength. Perhaps, things wouldn't have gone as far last night if Miss Granger would have known a tad of self defense. I want you to teach that to her, Severus. Replace those detentions by lessons in defense. Teach her more defensive magic, self defense and concealment spells. Help her with the spells she has trouble with. All of this will be very important to help Harry defeat Tom.' Dumbledore turned around to look at Severus, almost apologetically. 'What do you think Severus?'

Severus was shocked and annoyed. Nevertheless, even if teaching the girl would be a tedious and enervation task, he couldn't help to agree with Albus. She would be needing it. But under no circumstances would Dumbledore know that he thought so. He narrowed his eyes and grimaced.

'I see that I have no choice in the matter.'

'Not really' said Dumbledore, smiling. 'Now come on Severus, it won't be that bad.'

Severus didn't answer, but chose instead to swirl his robes and exit dramatically, already dreading the teaching sessions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hermione was walking back to the Gryffindor common rooms when she saw them. Harry and Ron, walking together, seeming to be searching for someone.

Her.

She was shocked at the feeling of sadness that surfaced in her when she saw them. It had only been a five days since Ron had first kissed Lavender, but already she was missing him. Him and Harry. She felt as if she hadn't talked to them in a lifetime. Her best friends. Even if Ron was being a prat and chose Lavender over her.

She took a deep breath then sped up towards them, grinning. She was going to be okay. Everything was going to be okay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hermione's last morning of term passed by quickly. Ron and Harry asked where she had been and she lied to them again, saying that she had been sick the night before. Somehow, it didn't hurt as much when Lavender came to sit down with them at breakfast. And by lunch, they had been able to hold an actual conversation, even if it was about how Snape had been a prick. The train left that afternoon, left for home, for two whole weeks. Hermione had been invited to the Burrow, but she wanted to spend most of the vacation with her parents. She would still visit the Burrow for New Years though. She'd decided to do so because she didn't know how much time she had left with her parents. Already, it was pretty dangerous to be seen with them. She didn't like to think about that though.

Hermione was walking down to the train, alone, something she needed today. At lunch, she'd seen Cormac for the first time. He hadn't seen her but she felt as if he had. She'd shivered and looked away, already scenes from the night before playing over in her head. His hands, roaming, groping, violating. Ginny had looked at her a bit strangely, but hadn't said anything.

Hermione needed this time alone to think. Since waking up, she had kept busy, thinking of this and that, of anything really, just not about last night. But now she knew that she needed to. So she had packed up the bit of her things that she wanted quickly and had set off. Walking down the almost deserted halls, she let herself really feel for the first time. And she felt better than she thought she would. She almost stopped walking to chuckle softly. Of course, she still felt like something was wrong. It was strange to try to explain, but Hermione felt a bit detached from her body. Like the one time, when Gran had died, and she'd looked in a mirror and she'd seen herself, but she didn't feel like the person there was really her. It had felt as if she was just an envelope. It was something very bizarre to feel, to feel as if your body wasn't really yours anymore, to feel a bit empty. But aside from that, she felt okay. Yes, okay was the word. Not fine, not good, okay.

She realized that she had stopped walking when her name sounded out from behind her. She knew his voice. She didn't want to see him though, even if that was a rather selfish thing to want. Because seeing him meant talking about last night. She's been able to do so with Dumbledore and was dreading her parents reactions. Dumbledore had asked her if she wished them to come to Hogwarts that morning, but Hermione didn't think it was worth it; she was going to see them the very evening anyway.

She turned and he was there. Tall, dark, imposing and strangely, safe.

'Yes?' she asked, and was embarrassed at how breathless her voice sounded. She cleared her throat and looked down. She couldn't look at him, couldn't look into those cold, unfeeling eyes. She pretended to be very absorbed by the floor. The stones were a rather interesting shape, all irregular and -

'Miss Granger' he repeated again, interrupting her tile admiration. She looked up, into his emotionless face. 'After the events of last night, Professor Dumbledore has asked me to turn your very merited detentions into extra defense classes. Do not think that I am doing this for you, I didn't have any say in his decision. I will communicate their scheduling with you after the break.' His voice was harsh but not as sarcastic as usual. His inscrutable eyes never left hers while he said all this. After nodding to her, he turned and proceeded to walk in the opposite direction.

Hermione had only enough time to comprehend then yell a shy 'Hum, okay, thank you sir!' before he had turned the corner and had disappeared. She was left there, pondering the enigma that was her Professor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hermione's parents knew.

She could read it in their eyes, in their movements, in their exchanged glances as they greeted her at Platform 9¾ . Dumbledore's letter must have reached them.

They didn't say anything until there was a lull in the conversation and they were in the privacy of their car, going back to her house. Her home, she corrected. But her childhood house didn't feel as much like home anymore... Hogwarts had, little by little, earned that title.

Her mom spoke first, in a hesitating voice. She was sitting in the passenger seat and her dad was driving. Hermione was in the back, to the left, looking outside the window.

'Hum darling… We received a letter from your Headmaster…'

Day by day, Hermione healed. Speaking to her parents, to her mom and dad, really helped. They had always been a very close family and Hermione realized how much she relied on them to talk, to vent, to have a shoulder to cry on. By the time Christmas came, she didn't think about the incident as much as she now thought of him.

Severus Snape.

What would it be like to have private lessons with him? Self-defense? What would he teach her? It was hard for her not to run to the library to pick up the first book on self-defense she found. She resisted, telling herself that he wouldn't be pleased if she arrived there with already a good knowledge of the subject. He would call her a know-it-all again. She couldn't help wondering and wondering.

New Years was everything Hermione loved about the Weasleys. Loud, crazy, fun, loving. Though it was sometimes awkward with Ron, she tried not to think too much about it. She started to realize that he didn't have the same affect on her anymore. She even began to question why she thought she liked him in the first place. He was nice and her best friend, but he and her would never work out as lovers! She realised this when he gave her a slightly drunken kiss on the cheek on New Year's eve. She didn't feel it, the fluttering that was once there whenever he would look at her seriously. It was a bittersweet moment in a way. It felt like a door that had led to a possible relationship with Ron had closed. Even if Ron was the one to push it close, Hermione was the one to lock it and throw away the key.

'Come in'

She opened the door, heart beating madly. Deep breath in, shaky exhale. Ready or not, she was to have her first one-on-one lesson with Snape. It was Tuesday, first week after the Christmas break. Professor Snape had taken her aside on Monday to tell her that the next day would be her lesson. She had nodded, had thanked him and that had been that.

Now, she was really nervous, although she wasn't a hundred percent sure why.

She stepped into the dimly lit classroom and looked around, searching for him. He stepped out of the shadows to her right and walked towards her, arms crossed. He stopped when he was about two feet away.

'So,' he began, his voice betraying his boredom at the task 'Miss Granger, tonight you will learn some basic protection spells.'

The rest of the evening was spent alternating between Snape explaining the use of the spell, his demonstration, then Hermione's attempt. By the end, she'd learnt a wide array of spells, of different uses, but all used to protect a safe-house.

Hermione had yawned at one point and Snape had called the lesson to an end.

'I shall walk you back to your common room.' He said, bored, while flicking off the light with his wand. They exited the classroom, Hermione in front and her Professor after her. Once outside, she waited as he turned to murmur some locking enchantments on the door. When he turned back, their eyes met for the first time that night. It was bizarre, but the whole time, Snape hadn't looked at her directly in the eyes. He would look around, or at her wand while she casted, or even sometimes had his back turned to her. Now, when their eyes crossed, Hermione felt a flicker of something deep inside. Her breath hitched and she was suddenly very aware of all of her surroundings. Her mind traveled back to the time she'd sought refuge in his arms. She'd almost forgotten that! She was perplexed as to why, because how could anyone forget, even temporarily, having been held, comforted, by Severus Snape? It had felt so right, so right in the midst of something so wrong. She couldn't stop thinking about that now, about how she'd felt, gripped tightly against his strong body, head against his chest, feeling his heartbeat.

A silence stretched out between them, him, back to the door, her standing up in the middle of the hall. He gazed at her, seeming to be lost in thought. His face softened for a moment, letting her see an almost relaxed, almost happy Snape. But almost as once, the moment was gone, his mask was back up, his face unreadable, his eyes cold.

Hermione wanted to scream.

'Don't walk me back.'

Her voice broke the swelling silence that had threatened to overpower her only seconds ago.

He raised an inquiring eyebrow.

'This is not the time nor the place for some feminism display. There is no link between the fact that I am a man and you a woman that makes me feel the need to walk you back. I am only acting on the school rules, which state that passed a certain hour, teachers must accompany their students back to their common rooms.' His tone was calm and matter-of-fact.

She looked downwards, then set off towards the Gryffindor tower. Her steps and his soon synced up, as they were walking side by side. There was so much she wanted to say to him, to be able to thank him for saving her, to be able to ask him why he hides behind his disguise, to be able to learn to know him. Perhaps it was the lateness of the hour, perhaps it was an accumulation of all they'd been through the past few weeks, everything they'd said and done, that made Hermione mentally say Screw it! and she spoke.

'I wanted to thank you for what you did… My mom wanted me to write you a thank you note, but I knew you wouldn't have cared for it, so I thought better to thank you in person…' she almost blushed at her babbling. God! What was it about this man that made her seem stupid?

'I was doing my duty as Professor.' His reply was what she had imagined when she'd thought of this scene.

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. His face was hidden from her behind a curtain of black hair. They were almost at the Tower. It was now, or never. Oh God. She knew she was going to regret this. But she couldn't help it. Her heartbeat sped up. She had to speak, even if for once, she wasn't sure of what she was saying, of what she was implying, exactly.

'And it was in you duty to hug me, to hold me close to your-'

She never finished her sentence. In one swift movement, he snapped his head around and grasp her by the shoulders. His eyes burned into hers, anger almost spilling out. Through gritted teeth, he uttered something so much she felt punched.

'Granger, don't ever think something as stupid as that again.' he snarled, pushing her roughly back.

She stumbled, caught herself then stared at him in shock, that quickly turned to rage.

'Now that's not fair! You can't keep on like this!' he stood a bit hunched over, breathing deeply, his face hidden again. She walked towards him, not caring anymore of how he'd react, needing to let him know.

'You can't keep pushing everyone away! You can't keep up this, this disguise! I don't believe that you are this cold, unfeeling monster! I don't believe this greasy, bat of the dungeons act! Why, why do you do this?' her voice was breaking now, under the intensity of her delivery, of her yelling. She was inches away from him, was moving her arms to put emphasis on her words. Her features were scrunched up in disbelief, in irritation. She stopped to catch her breath, losing all her anger also.

She looked up at him as she delivered the final blow. In a voice that seemed to have abandoned all hope she spoke.

'Why won't you let anyone in?'

Her soft brown eyes shifted something deep in Severus' soul. He couldn't do this. He needed out. God, what was it about this girl, this woman? How could she read him so easily?

His voice sounded as hopeless as hers when he finally answered.

'Because, Miss Granger, anyone I've ever let in, is dead.'

And with that he left, he fled, to the relative safety of his chambers, to the bottle of Firewhisky he kept, to solitude.

He left her there as he always seemed to do, confused and sad.

Author's note: Ouf… Not good at regular updates… Sorry!

As always, reviews are amazing, thanks to all!

Thanks to BubaDictator, beckyboop89, Amarenima Redwood, Sassyluv, DutchGirl01.

To avidprof and megzela : Yes, thanks for noticing!

To TinkyWinkyDipsy: Sorry about that "cliche"... I just I sorta needed it for the plot, as you can hopefully now see. I'm trying to make this story as original as possible though! I hope I won't disappoint you again :)