Chapter Seven: Can't Regret

Bella's POV

"Goodnight stars. Goodnight air." I whispered as I stroked Ava's hair that night in the hospital. It had been a long day for everyone and I just wanted her to sleep, but she begged me to read this to her. It was something I read every time she was sick and it always made her feel better.

How could I say no to her now?

"Goodnight noises everywhere." I whispered as she yawned. I leaned down to kiss her forehead and she looked up at me, a small smile on her face.

"Thanks for reading this, Mommy." She whispered before putting her head back down on my chest. I just sat with her in the hospital bed, trying not to think of what might have happened. Ava was fine and the worst was over. They were just keeping her overnight to be safe.

"Of course, sweetie." I smiled. "Now, I think it's time for you to get some sleep. You've had...and interesting day."

"Mommy?"

"Yeah, Ava?" I asked as I stood up and pulled her other blankets over her like I did when we were at home.

"I want Daddy." She cried. She knew things hadn't been right between us, she was smart for a seven year old. He left earlier than he was supposed to last time and he hadn't called in the two weeks since he'd hit me. I think he was just too afraid of my dad to do anything.

"I called him, pumpkin." I lied. "He'll be here soon." I hadn't even thought of calling Jake, which was pretty stupid. She always wanted Jake, but especially when she wasn't feeling good. Mom came back into the room a few minutes after she'd fallen asleep. I told her to sit with Ava while I went outside to call Jake.

"What?" He barked when he answered the phone.

"Ava had an accident." I told him. "She fell off the jungle gym at recess earlier."

"You didn't think to call me earlier, Bella?" He yelled and for once, he had a point. As much as we both hated it, he was Ava's dad and he had a right to know these kinds of things. I knew it was dumb of me to not call when it happened, so I didn't even try arguing with him.

"I know, I'm sorry." I sighed. "She has a broken wrist and a concussion, but she's fine. She just wants you here."

"I'll be there as soon as I get a flight." He told me. "I'll text you when I know." He said and hung up. I tried to hold in my tears, but I just couldn't stop them from coming. I leaned against the hospital wall and slid down, putting my face into my hands.

"The worst day of your life is when you get the call that your child is in the hospital." I heard Dad say as he sat down next to me. He handed me a cup of coffee and I smiled at him. "Hopefully you'll have less of these days than your mom and I did." He laughed.

"I don't even think going into labor was this scary, Dad." I shivered as he put his arm around my shoulder. "I was prepared to go into labor...I mean, it was still scary, but getting the call from school..." I broke off. "I thought she had a fever or something when I saw the number on the Caller ID."

"I know," He whispered. "But what matters is that she's here, and she's safe, and nothing too serious happened." He assured me. "Nothing is worse than that collar bone fracture, kid."

"Hey, Mike was daring me to go down that hill." I defended. "That's all on him."

"Yeah, because going down the steepest hills on your bike is a smart decision." He laughed. "I have grey hair because of those phone calls, Bella Marie." He said. "One hair at a time."

"Then I should be finding my first grey hair at any time then." I smiled. "At only twenty-five." I sighed. I loved my daughter and I wouldn't trade her for the world, but it was still so surreal. By the time Ava was my age, I would only be forty-three. Mom and Dad were both fifty-five...it was just weird sometimes.

"Please don't go worrying about that." Dad sighed. He knew how sub conscience I was about being a mother at eighteen. "The timing was bad, but you got the best thing you could get."

"I know, I did." I smiled, leaning in and kissing his cheek. I stood up and helped him off the floor before going over to the door. "By the way, Ava wanted Jake here so he's on his way." I told him as I went into her room. I knew he'd want to give me an earful about it, but he couldn't since Ava was finally asleep.

'Flight for seven tomorrow morning. Tell Ava I'll be there at 1:00ish.'

"Jake should be here soon," I whispered to my mom when they came back the next morning.

"He's so lucky your father had an emergency down at the station."She seethed. I could tell she felt kind of guilty for what happened between Jake and I. She was the one who urged me to let Jake in Ava's life and if she'd kept her mouth shut, he probably wouldn't be on his way right now.

But, whatever was happening between us didn't even matter. He was Ava's father whether I liked it or not. She loved his to death and would be absolutely devastated if I told her he was never coming around again. This was the difficult part of parenting. I had to completely selfless for my daughter, even if that meant being close to the man who beat me in my kitchen.

"Yeah," I sighed. "But...being a mom means doing the hard stuff, right?" I asked and she smiled and nodded. "And it's nearly impossible to be around Jake...especially now, but I have to do it. For Ava."

"For Ava." She agreed.

"Mommy?" Ava asked, making both of us jump. I didn't even notice that she woke up. "Hi, Nana."

"Hey, cutie." She smiled, squeezing Ava's home. "You want me to go get you something to eat."

"Yes, please." She whispered, wiping her eyes. "Can I have a doughnut?"

"Sure, but only one." I emphasized making her giggle. Doughnuts were a real treat in the Swan household. I just thought they weren't good for you at all and just not worth it. Plus, they always made me sick so we never really had them before I had Ava.

"When's Daddy gonna be here?" Ava asked after she was fed and changed into her own PJ's for the rest of the day.

"Soon, baby." I smiled. "Very soon."

Jake showed up right when he said he would. He didn't even look at me or my mother, but focused just on Ava. I just didn't understand him sometimes. He was the one who used me for sex that summer. He was the one who got me pregnant. He was the one who hit me last time he was here.

He was lucky I loved our daughter enough to put up with him.

"Look what Daddy brought you, cutie." He smiled as he pulled a CD out of his small duffle bag.

"Mommy! It's the Wonder Pets CD!" She squealed. "Thank you, Daddy!"

"Of course, Ava." He smiled as he hugged her tightly.

Mom and I left them alone while we did a few laps around the hospital. I figured she hadn't talked to him in a while and he wouldn't pay attention to her if I were there. When we got back, she and fallen asleep with the CD in her hands and Jake was slumped in one of the chairs.

"Did you sleep at all last night?" I whispered as I touched his shoulder.

"No, I was at the airport on standby all night." He yawned. "I'm fine."

"They have her on some pretty high pain medications for a seven year old." I explained. "Why don't you go find a hotel, take a nap, and I'll call you when they let her out." I promised, but he still looked weary. "They said she should be going home later tonight around dinner."

"Fine, but if you don't call me, I swear Bella..."

"Relax please." I huffed. "I promise, I'll call you. She'd probably make me anyway." I rolled my eyes at him and he grabbed his jacket and stormed out of the room. "He seemed like such a good guy." I told my mom when she came back from getting us coffee.

"He really did."

"I'm not some idiot, Mom." I defended. "I know you think I'm dumb for getting involved with him...and maybe I am but when we were dating he really made me feel special,"

"Bells,"

"And he told me he loved me way before I said anything to him." I said. "And I've always been a good judge of character,"

"Bella,"

"So I really don't know what happened with him." I cried, tears falling down my cheeks now. I don't know what brought this on, but when I got worked up nothing could stop me. "And I really did fall in love with him."

"I know you did," She whispered, wrapping her arms around me. "I know, baby."

"You should go home." I said. "Dad's probably home." I said, looking at the clock on the wall.

"I wanna stay with you."

"She's just going to be sleeping for most of the afternoon I think." I said. "I was gonna work on school."

"Call me if you need anything. even if it's just a hug." She laughed as she grabbed her purse.

Once she was gone, I pulled my laptop out of the case and set up a little desk with the food tray. I was able to get most of my studying done for my Women's Study class and just started my paper before Ava woke up, demanding my attention. This was why I was still in school. I could only afford to take two classes a semester and I didn't start until she was three.

But, the people in my life had been really helpful and supportive. Even if it was only classes online. My parents told me it didn't matter how I got my degree, as long as I eventually got it. As much as loved working for Mrs. Hale, I couldn't spend the rest of my life in retail.

Especially with a kid who was going to go to college and without Jake's help financially.

"When am I going home?" She asked after I'd gotten her some juice.

"Hopefully before dinner time." I smiled. "It's taco night."

"Taco's!" She laughed as there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," I called as I took the cup from Ava. The door swung open and Edward walked in with Jason and his parents. "Hi,"

"Hello," He smiled and Jason walked past us. "I brought someone who wanted to see how you were doing, Ava."

"Jason!" She squealed. She was always talking about how Jason was her best friend, so I wasn't surprised that she wasn't upset with him for pushing her off. She probably thought it was pretty fun until she hit her head.

"Hi, Ava." He whispered as he looked down at the floor. I felt so bad, I know he didn't mean to hurt her. "I sorry I made you falled."

"It's okay." She shrugged like it was nothing. "I got this cool cast!" She laughed, holding up the purple cast on her wrist. I rolled my eyes at my weird daughter and turned to Edward and his mother, Angela.

"Thanks for bringing him," I said to Angela. "I appreciate it."

"He wanted to see her yesterday, but I figured it was best to wait." She smiled. "I really am sorry about this. We had a long talk last night about when it's okay to play rough."

"She's okay so...it's fine." I sighed. I know that if the situation was reversed, I would want Angela to be calm and understanding. "I understand Jason didn't mean it, and I'm not blaming him. What are you doing back here?" I asked, turing my attention to Edward.

"Oh," He laughed, paying attention to me again. "I brought Ava this." He smiled, holding up the coloring book and crayons. "It always helped me when I was sick to color so I thought it could be of use."

"She'll love it," I smiled looking down and I saw that it was Wonder Pets themed. I grabbed the book from him, our hands brushing together in the process. When we touched, I felt this magnetic charge and jumped back slightly. I hadn't felt that since Jake seven years ago.

And that was all fake.

"Wow," I whispered as I pulled back. He nodded nervously at me as I went over to hand Ava the coloring book. After a few more minutes, Angela left with Jason while Edward lingered. "What do you say to Mr. Masen, Ava?"

"Thank you!" She smiled, looking up from the page she was coloring. "Wonder Pets is my favorite."

"I had a feeling since your folder and lunch box have the Wonder Pets on the front." He laughed and I was surprised he actually paid that close attention to his students things. "But, I should be going. We had an adding quiz today that I need to get graded."

"About that, when can I get her make up work?" I asked as I walked him outside the room. "I don't want her falling behind, and my mother and I can help her with everything."

"Why don't I bring it by tomorrow after school?" He offered. "I can show you how I'm teaching it so she won't be caught off guard when she gets back to school."

"That'd be perfect." I smiled as I leaned up against the wall. "And, thanks again for coming and bringing her that book. She'll be done with it by lunch tomorrow."

"Yeah, well I'm glad she likes it." He smiled.

God he had a beautiful smile.

"So, tomorrow afternoon." I said, breaking the silence.

"I'll get your address in the directory." He told me as he turned and walked down the hallway.

"I don't blame you, by the way." I told him. "I heard what my dad said to you yesterday, and I don't blame you for her falling. I know you couldn't have really prevented it...and the kids do have to learn somehow. Ava and Jason decided to learn the hard way they you have to listen to the rules."

"Thanks," He nodded and turned around again. I watched as he turned the corner, and took a deep breath before going back inside.

She spent the rest of the afternoon working on her new coloring book and I got some of my paper done. By five, the nurse came in so I could sign her papers so she could finally go home. I helped her get out of bed and changed before gathering our things together. A nurse wheeled her to my car and we were finally heading home.

I called Jake while Ava was taking a bath and he told me he'd be right over. I warned my Dad before he got here, and before he could blow a gasket, I reminded him Ava wanted him there. Ava was the only thing that ever really calmed him down about Jake.

"She's in her room," I sighed when he pulled into the driveway. "She's just relaxing and listening to the CD you got her."

"I didn't think she'd like it that much," He laughed. "We listened to it twice before she fell asleep."

"Yeah, I'm only going to be hearing that for the next couple weeks." I assured him. "So, thanks for that."

"Anytime." He smiled and for a second, I remember why I fell for him. This is what our relationship was...we just bantered back and forth most of the time. But, I never felt like it was arguing...it was always fun and playful.

"And I was thinking of just ordering pizza." I told him. "I'm exhausted and it's my mom and dads night to themselves."

"Cool," He sighed as he walked into her room. I sighed as I grabbed my phone. He was back to being Jake. I ordered us a larger pepperoni and sausage and Ava her own little plain pizza while the two of them hung out together. Just as I sat down to budget this months salary for Ava and I, there was a loud knock on the door.

"Pizza already?" Jake asked as he came out of Ava's room.

"I don't think." I shrugged. I went downstairs and opened the side door int he garage and smiled when I saw Alice and Mike there with a bottle of wine and a six pack.

"Surprise!" She giggled. "We figured you'd need some company and some cheering up after the day you've had."

"Jake's upstairs with Ava." I warned them as they headed for the steps.

"Son of a bitch..." Mike barked as he began storming upstairs.

"Mike, Jake is her father." I reminded him as I stepped in front of him. "And she wanted him here. I know if I didn't have her, he'd be in jail but I have to put it aside. For my daughter."

"You should have just said yes when I asked you out freshman year." Mike laughed. "You wouldn't have even had the chance to have a kid with him...you would have had a kid with me."

"Much better solution to all of this." Alice said sarcastically.

"Look, I'm glad your here but you two should leave." I shrugged. "Ava needs this time with Jake since he hasn't called for a while."

"You heard her, Alice." Mike smiled. "Go."

"You two dumb ass." I rolled my eyes at Mike. "I'm not kidding."

"Take the wine anyway. You'll need it." Alice smiled. She handed me the bottle and I pulled her back into the garage as Mike went to his truck. "What?"

"Edward is coming to the house tomorrow." I told her. "Like Ava's teacher, Edward."

"He's cute." She giggled. "You have a date?"

"He's dropping off everything she missed." I shrugged. "I mean I could just go to the school, but he offered to bring it here and I didn't argue with him."

"He's still cute." She told me and I gave her a stern, I'm serious, looks. "Bella, I know you don't want to date...like ever again but I think it's time you stopped that thought."

"I'm not going to date Ava's teacher of all people."

"Why not?" She asked. "I mean, he won't be her teacher forever and you can't be alone forever. Regardless of who it is...you can't let what Jake did to you dictate the rest of your romantic life."

"I just can't risk getting hurt again. Not with Ava." I sighed. "I mean if I dated someone and she got attached and we broke up...I don't know. It would be too painful for everyone."

"I get that." She nodded. "But, you really can't be alone forever. Ava won't be living here her entire life."

I didn't want to admit it, but Alice was right. Ava wouldn't be living with me forever and I was lonely. I didn't want to be with anyone else, but I couldn't fight the fact that I missed human contact. I missed snuggling, and kissing, and...sex. I wasn't a slut and I'd only been with two guys...but I still missed that closeness.

"I don't know what to do," I whispered as I looked down at the ground.