Note: The Grand Magic Games are here! Woot Woot! In the past I have sort of nerfed Naruto's strength, and I didn't even wanna make him overpowered... But I accidentally ended up making him kind of overpowered (he's not god-like) so from here on out I won't try nerfing his strength and shit, he'll defeat some characters easily while others not so easily, yes he can still lose fights so don't expect him to be unbeatable.
Now for the GmG's do not expect this arc to be 100% like the anime/manga. Cause I will be addming my own shit to it! With this said please enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor do I own Fairy Tail.
Chapter 65: Grand Magic Games!
The Grand Magic Games were taking place in a day, so Makarov the Fairy Tail master had ordered everyone to be at their shitty guild building early in the morning, one day before the games started. So that's where everyone was. They were all looking at Master Makarov who was standing on a counter, well every one was paying attention to him minus Naruto who was reading a manga.
"The Grand Magic Games are in a day! So I have decided to pick five of you to represent FAIRY TAIL!" Master Makarov told everyone while the guild cheered.
"The first person will be Erza Scarlet!" Makarov shouted, while the other guild members cheered for their friend, "Next is Gray Fullbuster!"
Erza smiled, "I will be sure not to let the guild down."
"Yay! Gray-sama! Juvia is so happy for you!" Juvia shouted happily when she heard Gray's name.
The Fullbuster just smirked, "I knew I had to be picked."
"Natsu Dragneel!" Makarov yelled after.
"Hell yeah! I'm all fired up!" Natsu grinned, "I'll make sure we will!"
"Last but not least... Wendy and Lucy! The five of you will represent Fairy Tail!" Makarov roared, "So MAKE FAIRY TAIL PROUD AND WIN US THAT 30 MILLION JEW- ERR I MEAN WIN AND BE NUMBER 1!" he said while everyone cheered happily.
"WHAT?!" Lucy and Wendy just yelled in surprise, "W-Why us?! Why not Gajeel or Elfman?!" Lucy questioned the Master, while Wendy nodded in agreement.
Makarov only replied, "You two are powerful in your own right, so make me proud!" Their eyes widened and both yelled, "WE WILL!" before running towards the other three who were picked to represent the guild.
"Old man! Why didn't you pick me?!" Gajeel cocked an eyebrow at the old man as he walked towards him, Makarov only smirked, "Meet me behind this building in ten minutes," before jumping off the counter and walking away...
Five minutes later, Mirajane, Laxus, Juvia, Gajeel, Mystogan and Naruto were standing behind the building where Makarov had told them to wait for him, as they waited they all looked at each-other, expect Naruto who was flipping through the pages of his manga.
"Eh, Mystogan is in Edolas, so does that mean you're that Jellal guy?" Laxus asked Jellal.
"Yes, I am," Jellal nodded at Laxus.
Laxus smirked, "Well, here's a tip, Mystogan didn't talk much."
Jellal nodded and stayed silent while Juvia and Gajeel looked at Naruto.
"Hehehe, we haven't been together since Phantom Lord," Gajeel smirked at Naruto, "How times have changed, eh Naruto? I'm a lot stronger back then, I'll kick your ass now!"
"Juvia is glad Naruto, glad you decided to join Fairy Tail, this is a very good guild, it changes people!" Juvia smiled at Naruto.
"Indeed, Natsu is actually happy you joined..." Mirajane told Naruto, "He doesn't seem like it... but truly is happy... I guess he doesn't show it because he's afraid you'll reject his feelings, like you've done in the past..."
Naruto stayed silent for a few seconds, he was about to speak when Makarov appeared, "Hehehe! Brats, do you know why I called you here?!" he smirked evilly.
"Why?" Laxus cocked an eyebrow.
"Simple! The five of you are going to be Fairy Tail's Team B for the Grand Magic Games! Muahahaha!" The old man laughed evilly.
"Gajeel smirked, "For real old man?!"
"Isn't that against the rules?" Juvia asked, she was happy she was picked but she couldn't help but ask.
Makarov nodded, "For real, it's in the rule books, two teams can join, so pack up and get ready to kick ass! If Team Natsu fails, everything rests upon you five! YOU MUST MAKE SURE WE WIN!"
Team Fairy Tail B grinned before Mirajane asked, "Master, what about Naruto?" Makarov's facial expression got serious and he spoke, "You guys can leave, I'll have a word with Naruto.." They looked at Naruto with unease but they nodded and walked away.
"Hmm my boy, you look a lot like your father," Makarov told Naruto.
"Oi, boldy I don't think you wanted to talk to me about how I look, so can you get to the point for I can continue reading this?" Naruto said without taking his eyes off the manga he head.
Master Makarov chuckled, "Very well... You see, in the Grand Magic Games.. there is a rule in which only one guild member can participate to represent the whole guild instead of one team of five... nobody however does this because it's suicide... however, I could use that rule to our advantage... Naruto Uzumaki! You are going to be part of Solo Team C!"
Naruto took his eyes off his manga and blinked before pointing at Makarov, "Oi, boldy! WHY AM U TEAM C?! That's a shitty team name! Oi, fuck that! I'm Team Hentai!"
"FINE! MY BOY! YOU ARE FROM FAIRY TAIL'S SOLO TEAM CALLED TEAM HENTAI!" Makarov roared in pride.
The blond grinned perversely before Makarov spoke, "I will be honest with you... I did this because I heard rumors that someone hired five Saint Level Wizards to take you out during the games, during the preliminary round... If I would of placed you in Team A or Team B, it would of stunted their chances of winning.."
"Oi, some I'm just some scapegoat?! Who the fuck do you think I am boldy?! I'm Boxer-Sama!" Naruto grinned darkly.
"Just be safe boy..." Makarov told him, as Naruto turned and walked away.
"So you're part of Solo Team Hentai?" Kurama grinned at Naruto, as the blond walked into his apartment, the blond looked at Kurama who still looked like him. The blond had told him what Makarov had told him.
"Oi, when are you going to change forms?! You looking like me creeps me out!" Naruto only said.
"If it makes you feel better, you're a good looking guy - I got laid so much while posing as you!" Kurama grinned at him.
"Being complimented by an old perverted mutant lizard doesn't make me feel better!" Naruto stated, Kurama chuckled, "I do miss my dragon form..." He looked thoughtful before grinning, "Tell you what! I'll be your partner for the GmG's!"
Naruto blinked as he watched Kurama change forms once again, seconds later Kurama was a small sized red dragon, he grinned at Naruto, "You'll need my healing powers and my other powers if you want to survive this thing, so let's do it! Naruto and Kurama fucking shit up!"
The red dragon lifted up his talons and closed them, for Naruto could fist bump him.
The blond grinned and fist-bumped Kurama!
Crocas
The next day Naruto was Fiore's blooming capital Crocas where the Grand Magic Games would take place! Practically every member of Fairy Tail was in Crocas along with thousands of guilds from all over the country, all getting read to participate in the Grand Magic Games.
"Naruto do you feel that?!" Kurama who was on top of his head, asked him.
The blond nodded, "Oi, five insanely strong mages... and they are getting closer..."
Kurama grinned, "They found you, and they are coming for you, eh? This should be interesting!" They felt as the five powers got closer and closer to them at a fast rate! Then all of a sudden the five magical powers disappeared! Naruto looked around, as he felt the power appear again, this time the five mages had scattered.
"Oh, they are toying with us," Kurama stated, "So let's keep moving, I doubt they'll attack you now..."
Naruto looked thoughtful and shrugged his shoulders as he began walking once more.
"Naruto!" He heard someone yell behind him. "I'm right behind you peasant!" Naruto's eyes widened when he heard a familiar voice, he turned around only to fall into the ground when a blond haired girl came crashing into him, she had landed on top of him with her boobs on his face.
"Jerk! Where you ignoring me?!" Naruto looked up to see none other than Tsukuyo Uchiha, she was a young girl that he had found during his time in the past during the Dragon Civil War, he remembered he had pushed her into a portal for she could end up in his time. Now that he saw her he saw that she was now a teenage girl around seventeen.
"Boing..." Was all Naruto said as he looked at her boobs, "Oi, you have boobs now! Boobs that go boing! Good for you brat!"
Tsukuyo's tan face flushed red and she slapped the blond's right cheek, "Pervert! Perverted peasant! That's the first thing you say to me?! I-I h-hate you!" she started crying all of sudden while the people around them looked at her and Naruto.
"Isn't that Princess Tsukuyo?! She's with Boxer-Sama too!"
"Whoa, how do those two know each-other?!"
"D-Do you think they are lovers?!"
Tsukuyo heard the crowd whisper and she turned red while turning to them and yelling, "NO WAY IN HELL WOULD I EVER BE A LOVER OF THIS GOOD FOR NOTHING MAN! SO MOVE ON WITH YOUR DAILY LIFE, PEASANTS!" Everyone sweat-dropped as they went on with their day. Tsukuyo got up, followed by Naruto getting up. They looked at each-other but it stayed silent...
"Say something jerk!" Tsukuyo broke the silence.
"Oi, nice butt!"
"S-Say something that's not perverted!"
"Err, you have nice shit-colored eyes!"
Tsukuyo sweat-dropped, "You're still a jerk, aren't you?! I have coal black eyes not brown eyes, Minion!'
Naruto shrugged his shoulders, "Oi, what's the difference?!"
The princess glared at him before saying, "D-Do y-you want to get something to e-eat?!"
Naruto smirked, "As in a date?! Ohh, so you like me?" He teased her.
"N-NO!" Tsukuyo yelled at him, "I-I meant to catch up, loser! I don't like you! YEAH! I'M A PRINCESS NOW! Princesses don't like peasants like you! You loser!" Naruto's smirk got even wider as he watched her fidgeting.
"Oi, whatever, let's go then, you're paying though!" Naruto said as he started walking, Tsukuyo smiled happily as she walked with him!
Both Naruto and Tsukuyo were at a cafe, the blond was eating ice-cream while the princess was eating, ice-cream, cake, sweets, vanilla milk-shakes and whatnot, she was eating like a pig, making a mess of food.
"Oi, you're a princess now, right?" The blond asked her.
"Yuz, zo bowl in feur, peathunt!" Tsukuyo replied, with a mouth full of food.
"Oi, I couldn't tell the difference between you and pig, brat!"
"WADDYA SAY?!"
"YOU'RE THE PRINCESS OF PIGS!"
"Jerk! You're the king of jerks!" She glared at him before she continued eating, the blond ate some of his ice-cream before Tsukuyo spoke, "Naru-chan, there's a reason I wanted to talk to you..."
Naruto looked at her and cocked an eyebrow.
"You see... Hisui... my sister... she's planning something... I don't know what it is... but it has to do with a clock and Zeref..." Tsukuyo whispered to the blond, "It sounds scary... I think she wants to open up a portal to the past or something..."
"Oi, she sounds like a crazy bitch!"
Tsukuyo shook her head, "She wants to destroy Zeref... I'm telling you because maybe you would know what to do..."
The blond shrugged his shoulders, "Brat, there's nothing I can do, you just gotta keep your eyes opened and tell me you notice anything strange."
The blonde haired Uchiha nodded and smiled, "I'm glad you're back! You're taking part of the Grand Magic Games too huh?! I'm rooting for you my minion, muahahaha!"
Naruto was about to speak when Tsukuyo said, "Oh! Before I forget here!" She took out a key and a piece of paper, and handed them to Naruto, "Here are the directions to the Inn where you'll be staying along with the directions on how to get there! I picked it out just for you!" She grinned.
The blond took the items from her and placed them in his pocket before smirking, "Oi, Tsukky, I have a little favor to ask you!"
The Uchiha looked suspicious at him before asking, "What is it?"
"Can you get me a blimp... a blimp and lots of fireworks?!" Naruto's smirk got wider.
"...and dildos!" Kurama added while smirking as well.
Tsukky smirked back at both and grinned, "You've come to the right princess minion, muahaha!"
Naruto laughed and so people around them watched them laugh like they were two evil geniuses planning world domination!
Naruto's right eyebrow was twitching as he stood in front of the room Tsukky had gotten for him, it was pink in color, heck everything was pink. That damn brat. The blond looked at his bed to see a scroll that said, "Heaven" he eyed it before shrugging his shoulders, he was supposed to be in his room before 12:00 am, and it was 11:59...
A minute passed and the blond felt the Inn shake.
"GOOD MORNING!" The blond heard a voice outside his room window, he walked towards it to see the Inn he was in high up from the ground, not just his Inn but many other Inns. All of the Inns including his had stairs coming out from the Inn and into a huge piece of floating land up in the sky, the huge chunk of land had a huge forest. Above the Chunk of land there was a projection illusion of a man with a pumpkin over his head.
"To all the guilds here tonight! In ORDER to reduce the amount of guilds participating WE WILL now began a preliminary event! That will reduce the amount of guilds participating to only NINE guilds!" The pumpkin man spoke.
"Each year more and more guilds sign up to participate which is why we are starting with a preliminary event!" The pumpkin man explained, "The rules are simple! You see that huge chunk of land?! That forest is called THE FOREST OF DEATH! A forest that shifts and changes randomly... your goal is to find a building in the middle of the forest and enter it! HOWEVER, when you do enter the building you need to have two scrolls, the "Heaven" scroll and the "Earth" scrolls! Some of you may have seen a scroll in your room when you entered it, now you must get the other scroll from another guild... During this even there are NO restrictions! Take the scroll by any means possible! Oh, and if something happens to one of the five participating members from your team then your whole team is disqualified! With that said: If you lose your life we are not responsible! MAY THE FOREST OF DEATH CHALLENGE BEGAN!" The pumpkin yelled before continuing, "If you open one of the scrolls without having the other you're in for a surprise! You must have the two scrolls in order to open them!"
Naruto walked up to the Heaven scroll on his bed and picked it up before walking towards the stairs on his room which lead to the forest of death...
Team Fairy Tail A had entered the Forest of Death, if one were to ask what they thought of the forest of death, the response anyone would give would be "Scary" yes the forest of death was one scary place.
"I-I'm scared!" Wendy admitted, while clutching herself to Natsu's right arm.
"M-Me too!" Lucy said as well, "I-It's so creepy! Who knows how many scary creatures there are out there, ready to eat us!"
"You don't have to worry!" Happy told the blonde beauty, "Your scary face will scare them away!"
Lucy glared at the cat, "Or I'll just feed you to those creatures!"
"Hahahaha!" Natsu just laughed, "There's nothing to be scared about! If anything crosses our path, I'll just roast it like a fucking chicken!"
Gray sighed, "This whole event is a bitch... we got a Earth scroll, now we need to find a freaking Heaven scroll... this forest is huge too..."
"Hmm, just keep close..." Erza stated, "We'll bump into someone with a scroll eventually... The problem here isn't finding the Heaven scroll... it's who we have to fight to get the Heaven scroll..." She looked serious.
"You feel it too?" Gray stopped and looked at Erza who looked back at him and nodded.
"Now that I think about it I feel five powerful figures with crazy magical power..." Lucy admitted in a serious tone.
"Let's follow their magical power and kick some ass!" Natsu grinned happily as he was about to run off when Erza grabbed him by his scarf.
"No," She said sternly, "Whoever those five who wield that crazy magical power must be insanely strong... we can't afford to bump into them... this is only a preliminary round, you'll get your chance to fight, got it Natsu? We must be careful! Our lives are at stake here!"
"You're no fun.." Natsu mumbled causing Erza to glare at him, "You say something?!"
The pinkette shook his head to the side repeatedly, "N-No ma'am!"
"Good! Now let's keep moving we have to be one of the nine guilds to make it to the building in the middle of the forest!" Erza said as they continued walking.
They walked in silence for ten minutes, the only sounds they heard were bushes shaking. To Lucy the silence was scary so she asked Natsu who was behind her, "So Natsu... What's your favorite color?!" The busty blond got no response so she turned around to see Natsu missing.
"Hey! Where is Natsu?!" Lucy asked Erza and Gray who turned around to see Natsu missing.
"W-Where is Wendy?!" Carla asked as well, "S-She's missing too!"
They looked around but there was no sight of neither of them.
"The forest! It must of shifted along with them!" Erza said while looking around, "We must find them as soon as possible!"
They all nodded as they went deeper inside the forest!
Wendy was fucking scared! How scared was she?! The type of scared when you watch a scary movie alone before going to sleep, and once the movie finishes you're there in bed laying awake, trying to fall asleep but you can't because you're paranoid... You feel like something evil is in the room watching you! That's how Wendy felt!
"N-Natsu? A-Are you there?!" Wendy stuttered while walking slowly. "E-Erza?! L-Lucy? C-Carla?!" She called out her friends but no response so she kept walking slowly through the forest.
The young dragon slayer continued to walk, she was walking very slowly and on guard... she continued to walk when she heard a creepy voice behind her. "Oh, look what we found boys... a cute girl walking all alone..." she turned around to see a group of five men behind her, they all had a butterfly as their guild mark.
"Give us your scroll, kid and we'll be on our way!" One of dude spoke.
"I-I don't have a scroll!" Wendy said while backing away.
"Liar!"
"Check her! Rip off her clothes and make sure she isn't lying!" The five were about to leap at her when behind her she heard a familiar voice.
"Oi, you want a scroll so bad, I'll give you mines," She turned around to see Naruto, she sighed in relief, she didn't really know him that well other than that he and Natsu had some history.
"You'll really give us your scroll?" One of the males asked.
Naruto nodded and smirked sadistically, "Catch!" He swung his right arm and threw the scroll at the dude who asked the question, his throw was so strong and powerful, it hit the man's face and he flew backwards and crashed into a tree, his teammates looked at him wide-eyed as Naruto appeared in front of them, he pulled out his wooden Katana and in the blink of an eye they were on the floor gasping for air and struggling to get up.
Wendy could only watch in amazement as he took them all down without even trying. She then watched as the blond bent down and pick-pocketted them.
"Oi, blue come help me pick pocket them!" Naruto told Wendy as he dug into their pockets, "Ohh some gum! Sweet!" Wendy could only sweat-drop as she watched the blond. He may have been in Fairy Tail, but old habits, die hard!
After the blond was done stealing from those unknown useless characters, Wendy found herself following the blond who didn't seem to care.
"Um... What are you doing here?" Wendy asked him, she had been wondering, since only five members from each guild could participate, right?
Naruto stopped walking turned around and yelled, "OI, I AM FAIRY TAILS TEAM HENTAI!" he puffed out his chest in pride.
"T-Team Hentai?" Wendy stuttered while asking.
"Yes! The power of Hentai is unstoppable!" Naruto stated while pointing at the sky, "Not even the sky can stop the destructive power of Hentai!"
Wendy sweat-dropped and said, "You're weird..."
Naruto was about to say something when he felt the same power from before! The power he had felt in town. Wendy turned around as she too felt.
"They are coming..." Kurama told Naruto.
Within the blink of an eye, a dagger appeared out of nowhere, and it headed right for Wendy who was frozen in shock.
"I-I'm going to die?!" She thought as the dagger got closer to her, but before she could even be hit, Naruto appeared in front of her, and with his wooden Katana he swung at the dagger, he hit it and it flew the opposite direction.
"Oh? This is the famous Boxer-Sama? I thought he'd look stronger," Naruto's eyes widened when he heard someone speak on his left side, he turned his head to see a man with a huge blade, the man also looked like a shark, and this man was named: Kisame Hoshigaki.
"His magic power is off the charts! What the fuck is he?! A lacrima?!" Naruto thought, as the man swung his blade fast and with power. The blond shifted his body and blocked the attack with his wooden blade, but the swing of Kisame's blade was so powerful, Naruto's blade broke in half and he flew backwards, crashing into a tree. Kisame just grinned as he jumped and kicked the two broken pieces of the wooden katana, and before Naruto even realized it, he felt one broken piece enter his stomach, while the other broken piece pierced his left hand and into the tree behind him.
"Naruto-san!" Wendy yelled while running towards Naruto.
"Oi, brat..." Naruto spoke, causing her to stop running, "Let us big boys handle this, and why don't you leave?"
"I-I-"
"Kukuku, I'd listen to Boxer-sama!" Kisame laughed darkly, "Unless you want to see us kill him!" Wendy bit her bottom lip, she could feel her legs shaking.
"I-I'm sorry..." Wendy said while looking at the ground, and with that she ran away...
Naruto looked at Kisame who grinned darkly, and within second behind him four cloaked figures appeared as well, with equal power to that of Kisame if not then greater, but that wasn't shocking to Naruto - what was shocking was that three of the faces were familiar...
The three familiar faces belonged to Itachi Uchiha, Zabuza and Gaara!
"Surprised to see us?" Zabuza smirked at Naruto.
"It's been a while, Naruto..." Itachi looked at the blond with an emotionless face.
"Naruto..." Gaara only said.
"W-What's going on here?!" Naruto asked, no demanded to know!
"It's just business," Zabuza smirked at Naruto, "We got a job to kill you, so we're going to kill you then win this guild shit!"
"Indeed," Itachi nodded while his coal black eyes turned red with three commas on them.
"Hey, I hate to interrupt your shitty reunion but can we kill him now?!" Spoke the voice of Deidara the fifth member of their guild the Akatsuki.
"We were just getting to that part!" Zabuza smirked, as he appeared in front of Naruto, he swung his blade at the blond's neck. Naruto gulped as he was unable to move. The blond even expected to die, he expected his head to be chopped of from his body, and roll away, but what he didn't expect was for the forest to shift at moment, so one moment he was next to the Akatsuki and the next he was somewhere else.
"Hahaha!" Kurama laughed at Naruto, "You're one lucky bastard!"
Naruto only stayed silent, "What the fuck was that?! Gaara... Itachi and Zabuza and two other fuckers are after me! Oi, what kind of shitty joke is this?!"
"You're complaining about that?" Kurama asked him, "Look at your wounds, I need to heal them before you die on me!"
"Oi, then get to healing lizard!" Naruto said as he pulled out the piece of katana from his stomach and from his left hand before Kurama started healing him.
"The Grand Magic Games are going to be a bitch..." Naruto muttered as Kurama continued to heal him.
Natsu was fucking lost and fucking hungry. One moment he was next to his friends and the next he was walking into a freaking tree! The pinkette just walked randomly through the forest, following wherever his nose took him, and his nose smelled something yummy. So he continued to sniff the air as he walked, after following what his nose was smelling he arrived to a small camp site where there was fried fish and sausages!
"Oh food! Fuck yeah!" Natsu grinned as ran towards the food, he arrived to where it was and he began eating the fish, followed by the sausages. While eating five mages popped out of nowhere and one yelled, "Give us you're scroll!"
Natsu wasn't paying attention and said, "Buzy eathing, nut nowth!" As he stuffed his face. The five men growled and charged at him. The pinkette noticed this, he quickly got up and yelled, "Fire Dragon's Roar!" as he shot a beam of magic at the five males, they got blasted and fell to the floor burned while Naruto grinned, he noticed one of them had an Earth scroll so he snatched it from their hands and said, "Thanks for the scroll... and food!" as he went on his way, leaving the five beat up dudes twitching and burning.
The pinkette continued walking for ten minutes before he felt a pain inside his stomach, he groaned as he felt the need to use the bathroom.
"Shit! I gotta take a shit!" The pinkette groaned as he began running, he was looking for the perfect place to take a shit. God must of been on his side too because as he ran he saw a mini building, he ran to the building and slammed open the door to see four restroom stalls.
"Yeeees!" Natsu grinned as he ran towards the last one, he entered the stall, pulled down his pants quickly and sat on the toilet, and at that moment it was pure bliss as he let it all out. Minutes later his eyes widened when he realized there was no toliet paper!
He was fucked! He wall all alone in a bathroom stall in the middle of a forest where people were fighting each other for a scroll! He was about to give up... when he heard noise on the farthest stall away from him.
"Hey! I need toliet paper! Please lend me some!" Natsu yelled at the person. "There's none on this stall!"
"Oi..." The person spoke, and Natsu's eyes widened, it was a familiar voice, it was the voice of Naruto, "Do you know why we have two hands?" Naruto questioned him, Natsu said nothing as Naruto continued speaking, "Because... Kami gave us two... one to eat and one to wipe our asses with..."
Natsu froze before asking, "You don't have toilet paper either?!"
"Oi, Kami had abandoned us..." Naruto only said.
"Can you two please shut up? I'm trying to take a shit here!" Suddenly a third voice said on the stall next to Natsu, and it was none other than Sting.
"Sting?!" Natsu asked him, "Do you have toliet paper?!"
"Yes I do but not for you!" Sting replied.
"BULLSHIT!" Naruto yelled.
"N-No. I really do have toilet paper, r-right Rogue?!" Sting stuttered. In the stall next to Rouge and Naruto Rogue spoke, "Naruto is right... Kami has forsaken us... In situations like this... Your hand starts looking like your best-friend..." He sounded possessed.
On the four different stalls, there was Four Users who used Slayer magic... Fate would have it that their stalls had no toliet paper on neither of the stalls... Rendering them trapped besides the enemy... The Battle of who would wipe their ass first had begun!
"Shit! Shit! Shit! I'm stuck besides Natsu and Naruto... fuck now would be my chance to take their scrolls!" Sting thought while looking at the tile below him.
"I-I shouldn't haven eaten that fish.. Fuck! Now I'm stuck with Sting and Rogue... I'm even stuck with Naruto! I gotta find something to wipe my ass with!" Natsu thought while looking at the stall door in front of him.
"Oi, I wonder when the next issue of Jump is coming out..." Naruto thought while looking at his hand.
"Hmmm, I found this sandpaper..." Rogue thought while looking at four pieces of double sided sand paper that he found laying around.
"Oi, so has anyone found something we could use to wipe with?" Naruto asked, breaking them all from their thoughts. No one said anything until Rogue broke the silence, "I found four pieces of sandpaper."
"EEEK!" Natsu shrieked in his mind, "THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I COULD WIPE WITH SANDPAPER! IF YOU WIPE WITH SAND PAPER IT'LL MAKE YOUR ASS HOLE BLEED RIVERS! B-BUT it still has the word "paper" on it! I-I can't let the word "Sand" fool me! I must use it to wipe my ass with!"
Sting meanwhile was thinking as well, "Shit! Why sand paper?! I'll wipe with anything but sandpaper! I'll wipe with my hand! I'll wipe it with cardboard hell I'll even wipe it with another person's hand! But not paper! W-What should I-I do?! I'm so desperate sandpaper is starting to sound nice!"
"Oi, sandpaper or my hand? Sandpaper or my hand?! Which do I wipe with?! If I wipe my ass with sandpaper my ass will be scarred for life! But if I wipe with my hand I'll never be able to look at this hand the same! I'll have to chop it off and burn it into ashes! Then I'll have to burn those ashes! What should I do?!" Naruto was thinking while looking at his left hand.
"So?" Rogue continued to speak, "Does anyone want any? Don't be fooled by the word "sand" the word "paper" follows after... If you use your imagination you can imagine it being Charming Ultra Soft while wiping!"
"HE HAS A GOOD POINT! I MUST USE THAT SANDPAPER NOW!" Natsu thought while gulping, "N-No! I can't ask! I'll sound too desperate for it! He'll know my weakness!"
"Oi! Natsu! Sting! Say you want! I'll sound desperate if I say I want it!" Naruto thought while biting his bottom lips, "I'll give both of you 100 jewels! 50 jewels each! Just talk!"
"What is Rogue doing?! He's making me want that sandpaper! Ugh!" Sting thought before his eyes widened, "That's it! He's making the sandpaper sound appealing! Whoever uses it won't be able to walk! So if Natsu or Naruto use it, they'll be right open for us to take their scrolls if they have any! Haha! You're a genius! I'll just go with your flow!" Sting smirked darkly.
"Bingo!" Rogue thought while smirking darkly as well, "Sting probably already figured out the plan! All he has to say is that he wants the sandpaper and Natsu and Naruto will say they want it too, and when they wipe Sting and I will be the winners!"
"Any takers?" Rogue asked once more while smirking.
Natsu and Sting who were each on their own separate stalls were about to open their mouths to accept when Naruto beat them to the punch by saying, "Oi, Raimundo, if we wipe our asses with sandpaper, we'll bleed rivers! That doesn't sound appealing to me at all, do you have anything else I could wipe with?!"
Natsu's eyes widened, "NARUTO! WHY DID YOU REJECT?! THAT WAS SOME GLORIOUS PAPER! WHY?! WHY?! WAIT - Naruto...did he reject to not sound desperate?! If so I must reject as well!"
"Yes! Naruto is right! You're trying to get us to bleed to death! But fuck you! Wipe your ass with it!" Natsu snapped at Rogue.
"Shit! Naruto saw right through the plan!" Sting growled while clenching his fists, "Now If I say yes, I'll sound suspicious... so I must reject your offer Rogue - sorry!"
"Hahaha! yeah! Screw that Rogue! Why don't you eat it instead?! I'm nowhere near crazy enough to wipe my ass with goddamn sandpaper!" Sting said while laughing.
Rogue on the other hand was surprised, "N-Naruto saw through me! Shit! He made Sting and Natsu reject the paper as well! He's thinking ahead... what are you planning next Naruto?!"
"Oi, oi, you don't have to be so rude to Raimundo, if you insist then I'll accept your sandpaper!" Naruto said while smirking evilly, Natsu and Sting had done just as he had figured they'd do.
"WHAT?! HE REJECTED THE OFFER THEN ACCEPTED?!" Sting thought as he mentally punched himself, "T-This was all part of his plan and we fell for it!"
"Damn asshole... I'll have to give him the sandpaper now," Rogue slid the sandpaper to Naruto's stall, and the blond grabbed it.
"Hehehe! Now what's your next move, Natsu?!" Natsu thought while grinning, he however stopped grinning when he heard the sandpaper... Naruto was using the sandpaper?! "N-No! There's no way in hell that he'd use that! N-No!"
"H-He's actually using the sandpaper?!" Sting thought with wide eyes, "Does this mean he's just an idiot?! Was I over-thinking?!"
Meanwhile, Naruto was in his stall while rubbing the sandpaper against the floor, he was making the others think he was using the sandpaper!
"Ahhh! This Sandpaper is soooo good! I can feel it cleansing my butt!" Naruto smirked while saying.
"Shit! Doesn't his ass hurt?! Is his ass made of gold?! Shit! If he finishes wiping Sting and I will be opened for attack!" Rogue thought while looking at the sandpaper, "I-I'll have no choice but to use the sandpaper... NO THERE MUST BE ANOTHER WAY!"
"What should I do?!" Was all Natsu and Sting thought in despair.
Naruto could sense their desperation and said, "Oi, Raimundo, why don't you give Natsumi and Stingybee some sandpaper?! All of us are the same here! We should pull through this together right?! The Lord once said "Give a man Sandpaper and you shalt have ever lasting life!"
Rogue didn't know what Naruto was thinking but said, "Very well." as he slid two pieces of sandpaper to Sting who grabbed one and handed the other to Natsu.
"I CAN'T WIPE MY ASS WITH THIS! THIS SHIT IS SO ROUGH! NOT EVEN BUDDHA WOULD RUB HIS ASS WITH THIS!" Natsu thought, his eyes had turned as white and wide as dinner plates.
"Kami... please help me..." Sting just thought while crying mentally.
At that moment either Kami helped both Natsu and Sting or they both just realized that they had scrolls... Because at that moment they both were looking between their scroll and the toliet paper.
"The scroll! I can use the scroll to wipe my ass!" Natsu thought while looking at it.
"I had this scroll underneath my nose and I didn't use it! But if I open it I'm in for a Nasty surprise surprise..." What should I do?! Wipe my ass with the scroll or sandpaper?!" Sting thought.
"I can't do it! I can't wipe my ass with the scroll! If I do... Fairy Tail might not have a chance... What should I do?! What would Erza do... Wipe with the scroll or sandpaper?! AH WHO AM I KIDDING! ERZA IS A MONSTER I BET SHE WIPES WITH SAND PAPER EVERY DAY!" Natsu was having a civil war in his head.
"Sorry Rogue... But I'm going to wipe with the scroll..." Sting made up his mind at last as he quickly opened the scroll, and began wiping with it, after he was done wiping with the scroll he flushed it down the toliet along with his crap and with that he burst out the bathroom stall!
45 seconds Earlier...
Natsu was looking at the scroll and at the sandpaper before gulping, "I made up my mind... I can't wipe with the scroll... Fairy Tail needs it... I'LL WIPE WITH THE SANDPAPER! THIS IS WAR I MUST DO IT FOR FAIRY TAIL!"
The pinkette with determination and guts did what no man or hero had the guts to do.. he wiped his ass with sandpaper!
When he was done, he flushed the toliet and burst out his restroom stall to see Sting bursting out from his as well.
Both charged at each other while swinging their fists, and in three seconds both of their fists collided with their enemies face before both fell forward...
"This is as far as I was meant to go...if I would of known opening the scroll would of shocked me into state of numbness, I wouldn't have opened it... the rest is up to you Rogue..." Sting thought while falling to the bathrrom floor and seeing darkness...
"Shit... my...ass... I'm such...an...idiot...I don't think... I'll be able to shit ever again..." Natsu thought as fell forward unconscious... but not before blood squirted out of his ass. (R.I.P NATSU'S ASS XD)
"I guess it's just me in him..." Naruto and Rogue thought as they heard Natsu and Sting fall.
"Oi, have you found anything to wipe it?" Naruto asked Rogue as the blond pulled out a Gintama manga from his jacket, "I will never forget you Gintama manga... But now I must wipe my ass with you... Oi, I'll make sure this isn't in vein! I'll win this!"
"No, have you?!" Rogue replied while pulling out his wallet, he took out some bills and started wiping. "Goodbye money..."
"Oi, of course not, if you find anything to wipe please share, we will get through this!" Naruto said as he finished wiping his ass.
"Haha!" Rogue laughed as he too finished wiping, "You too, find anything please tell!"
At the moment, both flushed the toliet, slammed opened the bathroom stalls and turned to each-other. They charged at each other, Rogue swung his fist at Naruto's jaw. But before he could land the punch Naruto disappeared and reappeared behind him.
Rogue turned his head to see Naruto with a chair, his last thought as he saw darkness was, "Where did he get that chair?!" and just like that Naruto smashed down the chair on his face.
"I win, suck it bitches!" Naruto said as he started looting them all!
It was over. Naruto had arrived to his destination: the building where he was supposed to go to open the Heaven and Earth scrolls, he had taken Natsu's scroll along with his scarf, and so here he was. He opened the scrolls at the same time and in a poof the pumpkin man from earlier appeared.
"CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ARE FIRST PLAY! YOU WILL NOW BE TRANSPORTED TO A PLACE WHERE YOU WILL REMAIN UNTIL NINE TEAMS FINISH!" Pumpkim man said as Naruto saw a magic circle appear arround him, in a flash he was gone!
He appeared in a room where Tsukuyo was. She looked at him and smirked, "Minion are you ready to do that?!"
Naruto only grinned at her!
Five Hours Later
Five hours later, nine teams had finished the preliminary round and everyone in town seemed to be at the stadium where there were three people who would be covering the event for the first day of the Grand Magic Games.
"I am Chapati Lola and I'll be covering todays event!" A black haired man said before continuing, "And to my side we have Yazima-san a former member of the magic council, he will be a commentator for today!"
"Thrilled to be here!" Yazima smiled at the crowd.
"Next we have our guest for the day which is Miss Fiore: Jenny of Blue Pegasus!"
"Blue Pegasus is totally going to win!" Jenny said on the mic.
"Now let's start this event! Let's start off from who came in last to firsr during the Forest Of Death round...and our 10th place winners are Fairy Tail..." Chapati yelled as Fairy Tail came out...
A/N: Decided to skip this shit as you all pretty much should know the ranking if not check out the manga/anime! Sorry!
"OUR THIRD PLACE IS A GUILD THAT WAS FORMED A WEEK AGO! THIS GUILD IS KNOWN AS AKATSUKI!" Chapati yelled as the Akatsuki members came out to reveal Kisame, Itachi, Gaara, Deidara, and Zabuza. The moment they walked into the stadium everyone froze. "THIS AMAZING GUILD CONSISTS ONLY OF SAINT LEVEL WIZARDS!"
"Whoa... I can sense their magical power..."
"T-They are scary..."
"All Saint Level Wizards... how fearsome..."
The crowd whispered before Chapati continued, "2nd place goes to Fiore's number one guild: Sabertooth!" The Sabertooth walked out with pride, though they didn't seem to be happy that they were second place.
"Sign my tits, Sting!"
"Marry me Rogue!"
"Sabertooth, I LOVE YOU!"
The crowd roared happily, while Sabertooth waved at them.
"AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST... OUR FIRST PLACE GOES TO NARUTO UZUMAKI AKA BOXER-SAMA AND HE'S FROM FAIRY TAIL'S TEAM HENTAI!"
Everyone got quiet, as they waited for Naruto, but he was no-where to be seen, when suddenly everyone looked up at the sky when they heard rock music coming from a blimp, and on top of the blimp was none other than Naruto who was waving at everyone while grinning evilly.
The blimp had the words, "Team Hentai, Bitches!"
He looked so badass.
To top off the badassery, ten seconds later the blimp exploded as Naruto jumped off of the blimp. The Blimp had fireworks inside because a second later fireworks blasted into the sky, fireworks that took the shapes of middle fingers flipping you off.
...and to add to it, it started raining blue dildo's that hit everyone within sight!
"AND IT APPEARS TO BE RAINING BLUE DILDOS!"
Naruto at last crashed into the Stadium while the final firework exploded and this fire work was of a cock, and the cock shot out something, and it appeared to be the Fairy Tail guild mark.
Naruto looked at the crowd as he flipped everyone off.
"..." Silence
"S-Shit! This brat has no shame! He's going to get everyone to hate us!" Makarov thought as his soul left his body.
"T-That man... he has no shame..." Erza's left eyebrow twitched, "I'll kill him..."
"I don't know I thought it was pretty cool!" Gray admitted.
"WHAT AN AMAZING SHOW BY BOXER-SAMA!"
"BOXER-SAMA! BOXER-SAMA! BOXER-SAMA!" The crowds went wild as they cheered and chanted Naruto's name, he smirked darkly as he felt Raven Tail, and Sabertooth glare at him.
...The Grand Magic Games had officially begun!
Note: Woot Woot! Over 7k words! XD I enjoyed this chapter! Though I'll admit the ending was kinda rushed! BUT WHAT DID YOU THINK?! GOOD?! BAD?! EH?! I mixed in some Naruto with Fairy Tail... Did you like this better than Sky Labyrinth or not?! So yeah please gimme a lengthy review and tell me what you thought!:)
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I hope everyone enjoyed!
Goodnight!