That Sunday night, Hermione didn't even bother to go to Snape's office for her lesson. Instead, she spent a rather enjoyable evening with Ron and Harry.
At one point, when Hermione offered to correct Ron's essay Snape had given them, he said, quite openly, "I love you" to her. Hermione blushed slightly while chastising Ron. She knew that his and Lavender's relationship was starting to fall apart bit by bit, or at least on Ron's end, but she didn't want Ron to think she still harbored feelings for him.
Even so, it was a relief to feel as if their friendship was back once more. Harry and Ron were really her best friends and that would never change.
Suddenly, with the typical crack of apparition, Kreacher appeared. Dobby followed suite and then, the five of them proceeded to figure out that Malfoy was using the Room of Requirement, though for what purpose they weren't yet certain.
Hermione disapproved of Harry's plan to try to get into the secret room. She felt that he was neglecting the task Dumbledore had given him, which was to persuade Professor Slughorn into divulging his memory concerning Voldemort.
The rest of the week passed smoothly, what with the excitement of the Apparition lessons. Before Hermione knew, it was Sunday again, so she ventured off to Professor Snape's office.
She'd been trying all week, to the best of her abilities, to not give the sour man a second thought. During class hours, she was fine, because their workload and lessons were enough to keep her concentrated. It was only in the confines of her four poster bed that her mind drifted faithfully back to him. She'd mentally review her DADA class with him, tried to remember if he'd looked at her in a certain way, or if he'd spoken to her differently. Usually, there was nothing to be said about her classes with him. He would treat her coldly, sarcastically, but he treated all his students in that manner so there was nothing to pick up on.
Nevertheless, there were times, mostly in the Great Hall at meals, when she felt for sure that she was being watched. She would then turned around to look if anyone seemed to be observing her, but couldn't really pinpoint the source of the feeling. During those circumstances, she would always check up on her Professor, but he usually seemed to be busy scowling at his plate, his fellow teachers, or the students.
Hermione was walking in the hall leading to Snape's office when she spotted him, striding towards her. She slowed down, expecting him to do the same, instead he strode past her as if she wasn't even there. She turned and started to jog after him.
'Professor? This is the time you gave me for our lessons… Are the still happening?' she asked, thoroughly confused.
'I should ask you the same question since you gave yourself the liberty of skipping our last lesson' he replied smoothly, never slowing down. Hermione was next to him now but still had to jog slightly to keep up with his pace.
'I was under the impression that last week's lesson was for me to read the book you gave me.' Which she had, while practicing by herself the moves demonstrated in it. Even though she wasn't going to use them any time soon, or at least she hoped, Cormac having kept his distances like he was required to do, they would be useful for her.
'You were wrong. It was incredibly impolite of you to stand me up in such a manner. But I confess that it didn't surprise me, you've never had any concern about anyone's schedule apart from your own. If it was up to me, I would resume your detentions you've unfairly escaped from, but the Headmaster think differently and I must obbey him. Regardless, do not think for a second that I am indebted to you in any way or that I will tolerate such behaviour in the future.' His icy voice spoken through clenched teeth made Hermione feel small and foolish.
'I'm sorry' she said quietly.
She continued to walk next to him, neither of them saying a word. They were heading upwards, in the direction of the Astronomy tower.
'You are to assist me in dispelling a boggart that has found it's way into a storage cabinet of one of the empty classrooms. One of my first year Slytherins found it while exploring today and was given a real fright.' He spoke in a curt tone, signalizing his annoyance at the task ahead, but Hermione was surprised to hear a smidgen of warmth when he spoke of his student.
They continued to walk in silence until Snape stopped and motioned for Hermione to enter a classroom to the right, one floor below the Astronomy tower. She turned the knob and entered the room, Snape following closely behind.
Inside rose a tall old looking brown wardrobe, quite like the one Professor Lupin had once used to teach his students about boggarts in Hermione's third year. The battered wood door was slightly ajar, evidence of the first year Slytherin's passing.
Hermione advanced towards it carefully.
When Snape had mentioned the boggart, she immediately regretted having came that night.
Because, to defeat a boggart, the creature must first take on the appearance of one's biggest fear.
The last and first time Hermione had dealt with a boggart, she was young and her fears were still one's of an innocent child. But in the last few years, she'd grown up fast and had witnessed horrors that no seventeen year old should have to see.
Part of her was very nervous about having to face the boggart. But a stronger part of her felt a sort of ill curiosity.
She wanted to know what her biggest fear was.
She was all too aware of her Professor merely a meter behind her. She knew he was waiting for her to act, probably scowling as if disgusted by the task at hand and standing proud with his arms crossed.
She felt a sort of twist of nervousness and anticipation in her gut.
Deep breath in.
Deep breath out.
It's going to be fine.
It's simple.
Don't worry.
Pretend he's not there.
Her pep talk did little to help though.
But she didn't let it show.
She raised her wand and took two confident steps forward. With a flick of her outstretched wand, the door to the wardrobe creaked open some more.
A hand appeared, filthy fingers gripping the door tightly.
Then, to her surprise, stumbled out her parents.
Dirty.
Scratched.
Hurt.
Her dad was supporting her mom, holding her with his right arm around her waist, while she pressed her lower right side with her left arm, where a patch of red was slowly getting bigger. Her father had a huge bloody gash on his chest, from his left shoulder all the way down to where his hip bone started.
But, what scared Hermione most, was their expressions.
Both of them were looking around frantically for help, searching with wide fear stricken eyes for someone that could save them.
Her.
Hermione uttered a muffled whimper. She hadn't moved yet, but she could feel her muscles, that were tense before, buckling under the impact of the vision. She was gripping her wand so tightly that she was shaking. Her heart felt as if it was being stabbed repeatedly, each time the ache worsening.
It's just the boggart, it's not really them- but it looks so real!- it's just my fear, it's not really happening- but they're dying!
As if hearing her thoughts, her mother turned, limping, to her. Her face broke into an expression of hope.
Hermione's dad turned also, still supporting her mother.
Hurting.
Bloody.
Dying.
'Hermione!'
Their strangled cry had the same effect on Hermione as a slap. She shook her head, bit her lip and let out, in a voice that barely wavered: 'Riddikulus.'
Swirls of white mist made her parents disappear, but their features were forever engraved in Hermione's mind.
The mist came together high in the air, before descending and leaving in it's place, Harry, Ron, Ginny and Neville.
This time she didn't even wait to see their injuries.
She knew it would be the same.
The ones she loved would be dying and she couldn't do anything about it.
She wasn't going to watch them suffer again.
'Riddikulus!'
Harry, Ron, Ginny and Neville all vanished slowly in the same way her parents had, bits of the image turning to smoke that came together over them, swirling menacingly.
Then, they pulled themselves together for the final blow.
They turned darker and slowly, they melted away, smoke leaving place to him.
Severus Snape.
Hunched over, holding his chest in his heart region. She couldn't yet glimpse his features, but he seemed in pain.
She saw him lift his right hand from his chest slowly, letting her see a deep gash.
He turned his hand to look at his blood stained palm.
Then, he lifted his head.
His eyes sought out hers and when they found each other, they locked on to them.
Dark infinite pools of black filled with the inexplicable, an emotion Hermione thought she'd never see on her Professor Snape's eyes.
Fear.
She couldn't do it anymore. Couldn't just stand there, straight and taunt, while the boggart took his shape.
It was killing her, from the inside.
Hard as it was to watch her parents, then her friends, it was harder now to watch Professor Snape dying without her being able to help him.
It was crazy.
It defied everything.
It made everything so much more complicated.
She knew he was behind her, but she just couldn't turn around.
Instead, she remained transfixed, staring at his bleeding shape.
It was as if a mysterious force was keeping her silent, keeping her frozen in place.
She couldn't do it anymore.
His eyes.
They were captivating her.
She couldn't look away.
Her breathing was painful in her chest and somewhere down the line, her heart had stopped beating so loudly.
Now all she did, was stare at a dying man.
She didn't know what she felt.
All her emotions were jumbled up together.
She felt so hopeless.
She wanted to scream.
So she did.
'RIDIKULUS!'
And he vanished in a mass of black smoke.
She didn't even wait to see what was going to take his place.
She turned to stare at the real Severus Snape.
And saw nothing.
Not a smidgen of emotion was shown of his face.
And that's what broke her.
He was still standing there, arms crossed as if he hadn't just witnessed the scene.
Shaking her head lightly, she advanced towards him. Her eyes pierced his, still looking for a sign, a sign that he felt at least something.
Nothing.
'You really don't feel anything, do you.'
It wasn't a question.
She left him, not able to see his emotionless eyes anymore.
Go after her!
Stay here!
No, go!
NO!
STAY!
Severus was being torn apart.
Seeing himself die was hard enough.
But knowing that his death was one of Miss Granger's, no Hermione's, worst fears was what astounded him.
Was it possible she had feelings for him?
It left him so confused.
But he knew he couldn't let it show.
That's why he didn't let her see his reaction when she turned to him.
But, he needed to go after her.
He couldn't just let her walk away.
He needed to yell to her : No, I do feel!
I feel too much!
But he needed to stay.
He couldn't go after her.
He mustn't.
No.
NO.
NO!
He swept around swiftly.
His reason was screaming to him to stay, to let her go, but he couldn't do it anymore.
He left the classroom.
He saw her walking up the Astronomy tower steps.
STOP!
He started walking up the stairs.
Stop this Severus!
What are you doing?
He shook his head roughly.
She disappeared into the tower.
His feet kept walking, not at all obeying the voice in his head that was screaming to go back, to back down, to leave, to run away, to STOP.
He couldn't.
It was as if an invisible thread was pulling him towards her.
He reached the tower.
Stepped inside.
It was dark and he could only glimpse her by the light of the moon.
She was looking out the main window, her back to him.
Outside, night had fallen and stars were twinkling high in the sky.
'Miss Granger.'
His deep baritone voice didn't surprise Hermione. She didn't turn. She didn't want to look at him and see nothing but disgust etched across his features.
'Miss Granger.' Severus repeated her name, willing her to turn, willing to see her doe-brown eyes again filled with something other than abandon.
Hermione shook her head.
Severus advance more.
His conscience was telling him no, telling him that this could ruin everything, so stop!
Hermione knew he was closer now. She was certain he wanted to reprimand her for her words.
Severus was going to regret this, he knew.
But he didn't care anymore.
Ignoring her was hurting too much.
'Hermione.'
She tensed.
She turned.
Her eyes sought out his.
The sadness visible in them made Severus want to hold her tightly against his chest.
He stepped closer to her.
He could hear her breathing.
Hermione could hear his breathing.
He was so close.
But it didn't bother her.
Her eyes pierced his.
'Yes?'
Her voice was soft and confident.
She stepped closer.
What was she doing?
She didn't really know.
It just felt right.
He couldn't answer.
His throat was tight.
If he wanted to, he could reach out to stroke her delicately carved cheek.
And he wanted to.
He was so close.
If she leaned in more, she could wrap her arms around his neck.
Slowly, agonizingly slowly, she raised her right hand and rested it softly on his heaving chest.
What was she doing?
He then lifted his left hand and reached out to grasp her lightly by the waist.
What was he doing?
'Hermione.'
He repeated her name again.
She came closer.
He needed to get his words out but they were blocked in his throat.
He closed his eyes.
What was he doing?
'I do feel.'
She gazed at his relaxed but at the same time, tensed, face.
Gazed at his moving lips.
Hermione closed her eyes.
'I feel too much.'
She could feel his breaths against her lips.
His voice sent shivers down her spine.
His hand on her waist pulled her closer.
He could feel her every movement.
She moistened her lips.
He leaned in even closer.
Slowly.
His lips caressed her cheek.
She inhaled sharply.
Turned her head a bit more.
His lips trailed down towards the corner of her lips.
She shivered.
Her breathing was coming out shakily.
She brought her lips towards his.
He inhaled slowly.
And let his lips brushed against hers.
Instantly, he opened his eyes, let go of her waist and took a step back.
She opened hers to and stare at him.
His face was emotionless again.
She advanced towards him.
He turned.
And walked away.
Robes swirling in the darkness.
Outside, night had fallen and stars were twinkling high in the sky.
Author's note: School is crazy, so updating will take a while… I'm sorry! Hope you liked the chapter!