AN: New chapter, a fluffy one, sorry in advance.
She woke up at the first shy appearance of the dawn, finding herself in his reassuring arms that hadn't lost their grip during the night, neither diminished their stubborn intensity around her. She couldn't feel her knees, still totally asleep and numb due to her position. She tried to ignore the awkwardness of the moment in which her brain registered that a certain part of her body was totally in contact with the low part of his body; she also tried to ignore the fact that she could feel the physical effect that their intimate embrace had provoked in him. It was too much, too intimate, but too irresistible at the same time. She looked at him, feeling the same sensation she had felt days ago, always in his house, he seemed less unattainable, less forbidden, more concrete in front of her eyes. When she tried to separate herself from his grip, she heard him complaining incoherently in his sleep and that involuntary action made her smile for the first time that day. She debated for one precious minute between leaving his house in that exact moment or trying to find some coffee in his kitchen, waiting for him to wake up; she wasn't surprised when the temptation of the second option won without many brain washings in her head. She wandered in his kitchen, loving that intrusion in his ordinary world and her eyes intercepted a drawing hung on the fridge. It was a drawing of a man, thick and blonde hair with a little girl with the same curls. She smiled for a second time, caressing it and feeling a little bit selfish for having overwhelmed him with her big demons the night before, forgetting how much pain he had already experimented in his harsh life. Maybe they could have shared their dark parts and find happiness together one day and the absurdity of that thought put another smile, the third one, on her face.
"It's good to see you smile." Jane said from the kitchen's counter.
"You know, it's a little creepy staring like that, besides, you've scared the hell out of me." She replied jokingly, turning toward him.
"You know, it's a little rude abandoning a man with whom you have slept all the night, like that." He teased her.
"We haven't slept together." She said, ignoring the crazy beating of her heart.
"Technically yes, Teresa." He replied, approaching her.
She shook her head, smiling and leaning against the cold surface of the refrigerator; he stopped in front of her, ponding her gaze.
"How do you feel?" He asked kindly, massaging her right shoulder, finding a way to touch her without being too intrusive.
"Better." She replied, not really convinced.
"Do you want to talk?" He said, continuing his massage toward her neck.
"No, I don't want to talk." She replied, lowering her gaze, made shy by his proximity.
"Ok, I should take you ho—"
"Take me somewhere." She said abruptly, interrupting him.
"Somewhere?" He asked surprised.
"Someplace nice." She said and he couldn't contain his smile.
She stopped at home for a change of clothes and a quick shower while he was waiting for her in the car, thing that made everything even more absurd to her eyes. She didn't have time to put some makeup or to wash her hair, made visibly wavy by the humidity and the rain of the previous night, she wasn't exactly impeccable in her look, but she didn't care particularly. She did everything in a rush, without thinking too much about what was happening because she knew that her rationality would have put an end to her prompt fugue immediately. She didn't want to be rational, not that day at least; besides, she didn't remember when it was the last time she had spent an unconventional Sunday. Marcus was a lazy type and she really couldn't blame him when he preferred to spend his free time sprawled on the couch between books and movies. She was more like him actually, she shared the same necessity. The man who was waiting patiently outside her apartment though, was different; he had entered like a tornado in her life, without asking for permission, overturning everything. She couldn't picture him like a lazy man, he had traveled around the world, his photo camera always at his side, to catch colors, sounds, details, always looking for something new and unforgettable and she desperately needed to be overwhelmed by him and his wandering. When she saw his smile the moment she entered in his car, she knew she had just reached the point of no return.
"You smell good." He said casually.
"Where do we go?" She asked, ignoring the compliment that had already colored her pale cheeks.
"Nothing big, don't worry, I don't have a private jet hidden anywhere." He replied, chuckling.
"No Paris, then?" She asked, pretending to be disappointed.
"You're such a romantic, aren't you?" He asked, amused.
"No way."
"Oh no, you are, just not in a conventional way, I bet."
"What do you mean?" She asked curious.
"You like original and unconventional romantic gestures, so hard to satisfy, Teresa." He said seductively.
She hit his arm playfully, increasing his grin even more.
"Then, a brunch on the hills between rows of grapevines and hot-air balloons is unconventional enough for you?" He asked casually, a small hint of anxiety in his voice.
"Hot-air balloons?" She asked with glittering eyes. "We're going to Napa?"
"Yes.. I know, it's nothing big but.."
"I love it, thank you." She interrupted him, touching his arm lightly. They smiled at each other until he could see a small but stubborn cloud of distress covering her eyes.
"Don't think about it, ok? Enjoy this day, then tomorrow, you'll come back at work and you'll deal with everything happened yesterday.. besides, it wasn't your fault, I don't really know the dynamics of the story but it's the only thing I am sure about, ok?" He said to her.
"Are you a mind reader?" She asked, a mix of amusement and anxiety in her voice.
"No, but you're transparent, my dear." He replied.
"Just what a girl wants to hear." She said, a little bit annoyed.
"Who said being transparent is a negative thing? It has a double meaning actually, think about it, you can be transparent and reveal everything in your mind or you can be so transparent that nobody can actually see you.. but don't worry dear, I'm an attentive observer." He said in a patronizing voice.
"And I'm such a lucky girl." She retorted, mocking him.
They reached a lovely cabin restaurant at top of the hills, she spent the time of the walk looking with childish wonder the colorful balloons in the air and cursing every bees or insects that dared to approach her. He spent the time just looking at her, noticing how the sun had already put a lovely pink shade on her cheeks and how the breeze kept messing up her hair in the air. He found her even more beautiful without makeup, her eyes seemed more pure and more honest somehow. They ordered a fruit salad, some eggs and a bottle of wine, ignoring the inappropriate hour and falling into temptation, besides, it was almost profane go in Napa without enjoying a good bottle of wine, or maybe two.
"Can I ask you something?" He said, pouring more wine in her almost empty glass.
"Oh God, do I need to mentally prepare myself?" She asked, taking a sip of wine.
He laughed in response causing her the same incoherent laughter, made even more exhilarant by the wine.
"Maybe, actually." He said, gaining back some seriousness. "Why don't you leave him?" He asked finally.
"Wow, I didn't expect this." She replied, toying with the rim of her glass. "Marcus is a good man, I need a good man next to me and I found him, why should I leave him? It's so hard to find a good, decent man."
"You don't love him." He said as a statement.
"Even better." She replied.
"Why?" He asked again.
"I know how love can destroy you, ok? I've seen it in front of my eyes.. my parents loved each other with all themselves, I had a beautiful family, me and my three brothers, one of those families you can see in the commercials, you know.. then one day, my mother died and the castle collapsed. No more happy family, no more joyful breakfasts all together around the wooden table." She said casually.
"What about your dad?" He asked tentatively.
"He killed himself." She replied immediately.
He sighed, unable to bear even for a minute how much pain she had to carry inside her. He took her hand, not wanting to add words of comfort to her spontaneous outburst. "You're running away from love, I got it and.. I can't really judge you, I tend to do the same actually, or at least I tried to do that, now I don't think I'm able to do it anymore." He said, finding her shy eyes.
"Really?" She asked, toying with his fingers.
"Really." He echoed her, bringing her small hand near his lips and kissing it.
"You know what's the funny thing?" She asked, trying to break the tension. "the real reason why I don't leave him it's because I do want a family sooner or later, this is the truth and I never admitted it even to myself until now."
"You want a family but with a man that you don't love." He said, no judgement in his voice.
"It's a little bit incoherent, I know." She said, gulping down the rest of the wine in the glass.
"Just a little bit." He said amused and they started to laugh hysterically until little tears reached their eyes.
"Come with me." He said then, leaving his seat.
"I don't know if I'm able to stand up after all this wine, honestly." She replied, still laughing.
"Take my hand." He said, not feeling very stable too. "We need to reach that wooden hut right there." He finished his sentence, pointing the end of the pathway.
"What's in there?" She asked, taking his hand.
"Surprise." He whispered.
When they reached the hut, after a little climb made almost impossible by their precarious conditions and the fact that he kept finding new ways to casually touch her, she realized what they were about to do.
"Jane, are we really about to do a balloon ride?" She asked insecure.
"Of course dear." He replied, smiling.
"Oh my God."
"What?"
"Jane, I don't know if I trust those flying things." She said perplexed.
"Well, do you trust me?" He asked hopefully.
"Maybe?" She said, sounding even more perplexed.
"Great!" He said, grinning enthusiastically.
She waited for him in front of the starting platform, trying to hide her evident fear but excited anyway. He had booked a private ride, just for them and the pilot and she just hoped to be able to keep the distance from him again, a feat that seemed always more difficult minute after minute. When they left the ground and the balloon started to rise slowly, she gripped with strength the railing of the wicker basket, cursing herself a little and regretting her choice immediately. Then she felt his arm around her from behind and his cheek resting delicately at the side of her head.
"It's the first time for me, you know, I've never done it before, it's destabilizing, a little and the wine doesn't help." She said to him.
"It's the first time for me too." He told her, chuckling for her previous comment.
"What? Really?" She asked him.
"Why? Are you surprised?" He asked her in turn.
" Yes.. I mean, no.. it's just, you seem that kind of man that has already done basically everything in his life.. I mean the cool stuff, at least! It's silly, I know!" She tried to explain.
"Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you my dear, but we still have a lot of first times that we can share together." He said, realizing too late the double meaning in his words. He felt her stiffen under his arm, knowing that his words had upset her a little and realizing that she was still dueling with the new experience of being carried in the air . "Breathe Teresa." He said in her ear, making her shiver further. Once she got used to the height, she relaxed slowly, enjoying the amazing view in front of her
"It's magic." She whispered, leaning against him, he put his other arm around her, embracing her completely.
"Do you like it?" He asked and she could feel his smile caressing her ear.
"Yes, it's not conventionally romantic." She teased him. He kissed her temple, amused and then he lingered with his lips on her skin, sending shivers in all her body.
"You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now." He whispered in her ear.
"You can't." she said, turning a little toward him and kissing his chin lightly, contradicting her words.
"Just once." He said, interlacing his fingers in her hair and kissing the corner of her mouth.
"we can't." She repeated, trying to convince also herself but kissing the same spot near his lips in response.
He kissed her lips then, a brief contact that overwhelmed her anyway. He pecked her lips a second time, a third one, lengthening the kiss a little more each time. They were small innocent kisses but she had never been so turned on before. He stopped then, noticing that the situation was starting to get out of hand and not wanting to put her in an even more uncomfortable position.
"Let's go home, sweetheart." He said and she thanked him silently.
She didn't remember a lot about the return at home, she fell asleep in the car almost immediately, thanks to the wine and the crazy previous night, besides, she felt more secure in her sleep, less exposed to his gaze, his questions, his touch. She had lowered her barriers too much that day and the negative effects of that little whim were starting to arise in her mind. She woke up almost arrived to her apartment, apologizing for the lack of companionship but he didn't mind, he had a strange light in his eyes that she couldn't really decipher, was it happiness? She didn't know it but she knew that she owed him at least something more. That's why, once stopped in front of her condo, she told him everything about the day before, about her meeting with Liz, about her illegal intrusion in Melissa Hasting's house, Liz's atrocious death and then Volker. He listened carefully, in silence, never interrupting her detailed story.
"I want to help you." He told her at the end.
"You can't help me, Jane." She said softly.
"He's dangerous, you need to be careful." He kept saying.
"I'm a cop, a good one I believe." She said, trying to lighten the tension.
"Please, let me help you." He tried again.
"Why do you want to help me?" She asked, weirded by his stubbornness.
He stayed in silence for a few seconds, trying to find the rights words and then, eventually, he replied:
"I.. I don't wanna lose you." He almost whispered.
she stared at him in response, a mix of fear and something else in her eyes, something he couldn't really decipher.
"Thank you for today." She replied, changing the subject and leaning toward him to kiss his cheek. Then she left his car, leaving him confused, a confusion that only her could give him. He watched her fighting with her bag looking for the keys and then he exited the car in turn, approaching her door. He took her hand, making her turn toward him and scaring her a little in the process.
"Just so you know, I won't give up on you, put it in your pretty head, I won't." He said, looking in her eyes, almost challenging her. "Sweet dreams Teresa." He said eventually, squeezing her hand a last time, then he returned in his car, leaving her motionless in front of the door.
After some uncertain seconds she took her phone and wrote a text to Marcus:
we need to talk.
She stared at the send button, then she decided what to do.
AN: yes, a little cliff! So, I have to say I was a little demotivated by the small response to the previous chapter, I just want to know if you're still interested in this fic or maybe I should finish it! Anyway, thank you for the lovely reviews and I hope you liked the chapter!