AN: here we are, longer chapter, you'll be both happy and mad at the end of it, I feel it! Anyway thank you for all your lovely reviews!
They didn't sleep a lot that night, both too upset from the events of the previous day, both not really comfortable on the harsh surface; they didn't move though, because they both enjoyed each other's presence like it was a constant reminder that they were in this together and besides, it was easier to pretend that everything would have been all right in each other's arms. It was at seven in the morning, hour already close to their imposed awakening, when Jane felt Lisbon complaining slightly in her sleep, he watched her face twisted from the pain and he absently thought about the fact that she was beautiful even during a bad dream. He kissed her forehead, trying a delicate approach, then her eyelids in turn, until her restless movements stopped and she slowly began to wake up. She smiled at him, like she had just seen her favorite thing in the world and his heart melted a little.
"Do you have eggs?" He asked her seriously, deciding to give her some privacy about her nightmare.
She laughed amused and nodded, passing an hand through his messy curls.
"I go to make some breakfast for you, then." He said, trying to find a reason to separate himself from her before things could get out of hand. He couldn't help but giving her a small kiss on her nose, though. She could hear him wandering around the kitchen and she reflected about how much she was enjoying his presence in her home, a concept that was totally new to her. She liked to be alone in her apartment, she had always enjoyed that special solitude between her four walls, that's why Marcus didn't stop usually or didn't spend the night with her, not often at least. She also listened to Jane's call to Pete, she wasn't surprised that his first thought, just awakened, was for Charlie and she was relieved to hear that the little girl was still peacefully asleep in her bed.
"Breakfast is ready." He called her from the kitchen.
"Coming." She mumbled, still half asleep. She was greeted by the strong aroma of eggs and bacon and she didn't remember when it was the last time that someone had cooked a breakfast like that for her.
"Voilà." He said, putting the smoking dish in front of her.
"Smells delicious, thanks." She said, looking at him.
"Yes, I know what you're thinking, not only handsome and smart, but also a great chef.. marriage material here, my dear! Like women like to say." He said, grinning at her.
She tried to ignore the involuntary remark about the marriage and she enjoyed his fake presumption, instead.
"Actually, I was thinking about how much my back is killing me, maybe because an insane blond, pain in the ass, forced me to sleep on the floor last night." She replied, sassy.
"Forced? Really Teresa? You hurt me." He said, pretending to be hurt. Then he left his place on the stool and went behind her, his hands found her shoulders and started to massage delicately but firmly her muscles.
"What are you doing?" She asked, trying to suppress a moan of pleasure.
"I'm trying to make me forgive by you." He whispered in her ear.
She chuckled, a little bit hysterically, "You're on track." She replied and this time a small moan left her mouth.
"There's a particular spot where you need me the most?" He asked seductively in her ear while his hands slipped under her blouse, caressing her skin. She arched her back a little in response, rubbing her head against his chin. When things were starting to heat up dangerously, Teresa realized that someone was dueling with the keys to enter in her apartment and she separated herself from Jane just in time to see Marcus opening the door.
"Marcus? What are you doing here?" She asked him confused, a forced smile on her face.
"Hi honey.. plane landed early, I thought to have breakfast with you." He explained, then he turned toward Jane, "hey, Patrick? What are you doing here?" He asked, reaching Lisbon and giving her a kiss.
"I.." Jane started to say insecure.
"I called him because my car doesn't start, again.. he's still working with us on that case, remember? So I thought he could give me a lift." She said, interrupting him. Jane looked at her and she could feel a hint of disappointment in his gaze.
"Indeed." He said then, never leaving her eyes.
"Patrick, thank you! That's very kind of you." Marcus said, giving him a pat on the back, "but don't worry, I'm here now, I'll take care of it."
"Of course." Jane said, smiling weakly at him.
"How many times I told you to change your car, Teresa?" Marcus said to her, "If you'll accept to marry me, woman, this will be the first investment for the future." He kept saying, laughing.
Jane froze at those words and immediately looked at her, trying to regulate his accelerated breath.
"Have you told Jane about my proposal, honey?" Marcus asked her, kneading her shoulder, "She's so stubborn, God, Patrick, help me to convince her, I'm stuck on this limbo since when I asked her."
"I wonder why." Jane said and she could recognize the bitterness of his tone.
"So hard to please, my Teresa." Marcus said, looking at her. "I'm going to take a shower, honey! Patrick, see you soon." He said, heading toward the bathroom.
They stayed in silence for some seconds, an heavy tension filled the air, she was almost scared to look at him, fearing the intensity of his gaze.
"I should go, see you." He said eventually, leaving the room and walking toward the door.
"Wait." She said, running after him.
He stopped in front of the door and turned to look at her, "what?" He asked, the disappointed painted on his face.
"I'm sorry." She said.
"You always are." He said bitterly.
"I wanted to tell you but.."
"You're the most selfish person that I've ever known." He said, interrupting her. And she heard the door slammed in her face.
She had never felt selfish in all her life, she knew that the adjective had never belonged to her. She had spent the adolescence trying to collect the pieces of her devastated family, never putting herself and her priorities at the first place, because it was the right thing to do and because she loved her brothers too much to leave them alone. Once she had felt selfish though, when she had left Chicago to start her police career, trying to make stay the past behind, for once in her life, even if its spectra had never stopped to haunt her. She had justified her choice that time though, she had done everything in her power to keep the family together, maybe she had failed at the end considering that her father had died, but at least her brothers had grown up decently and with some integrity, she hoped. Then, she had started her new life in Sacramento when she had met a few occasions to be selfish, but never taken one of them. Until now. Maybe love made her selfish, she thought absently, still stuck in front of the door, trying to keep the tears small and silent, maybe fall in love had been a great bad idea, because love made her worst, love put her priorities before everything else when it should be the opposite. The final verdict was that she wasn't able to deal with love and she felt stupid because she had thought she could actually take the chance for once. One thing was sure now, if she couldn't have love, she didn't want to have a fake relationship anymore. She would have left Marcus and she would have done it now. She wiped her eyes, refreshing her face at the kitchen's sink and she mentally prepared herself to face him.
"Honey, have you seen my razor?" He asked and she felt his step approaching her.
"Marcus, I need to speak to you." She said in a whisper that probably didn't reach his ear.
"Are you ready for tonight? Gift's ready?" He asked her, once entered in the kitchen.
"Sorry?" She asked confused.
"You forgot, I knew it.. Virgil's birthday tonight, remember? What's the name of the restaurant by the way, I need to send the cake there." He said, drying his hair with a towel.
"Alfredo." She said mechanically.
"Great.. is everything all right?" He asked, noticing her strange mood.
"Yeah, need to buy him something though, totally forgot about it." She said while the only thing that she wanted to do was spend the day at home and cry.
"Well, the usual tie will be perfect, don't worry." He said nonchalantly and she wondered about how monotonous would have been her life once married with him; same restaurants, same holidays, same gifts, same sex. One thing was sure, she didn't want that life and soon she would have found the way to escape from it.
It was a quiet morning in the bureau, no one had been killed at least, so she found the time to go shopping for his boss and to think about a new strategy to frame Thomas Volker. She was trying stubbornly to erase his face and everything about him in her mind but the problem was, he kept remembering her that their battle was never over. No one knew about the warning that he had sent to her, Minelli was still too upset after their last official research, she knew how much it had costed him to give her the permission and since they had found anything, the disappointment had made him regret his choice almost immediately. Besides, today was his birthday, the man was surly, but she loved him like he was her father and she knew that he secretly loved to celebrate his birthday, especially with his team, even if he would have never admitted it. She didn't want to ruin that day with her obsession with Volker and with a possible break up with his grandson, that would have been too much, even for her recent selfishness. She wouldn't have bought him a tie though, she wanted something different, original for once, something that suggested a symbolical change, at least for her. She looked at the shop in front of her and she smiled. She had found the perfect idea.
She tried to reach Jane all day, insisting with calls and texts, feeling a little bit like a desperate adolescent. He had ignored all of them and his rejection hurt her more than anything else. She was returning to work after her insane shopping when she felt someone pulling at the sleeve of her jacket.
"Hi Teresa."
"Charlie?" She smiled surprised, looking at her. "What are you doing here?" She asked, holding her breath, hoping to see him too.
"Charlotte, for God's sake, are you trying to give me an heart attack?" A woman told her, exiting from the shop behind them.
"I had to say hello to Teresa." The child explained logically.
"Well, next time I'd like to be informed of your plans, Miss!" Sam said ironically.
Lisbon looked at the woman and she liked her immediately.
"I'm Teresa." She introduced herself, offering her hand to her.
"Sam." The woman replied, eyeing her suspiciously.
"She's Paddy's girlfriend." Charlotte said enthusiastically.
"Really?" Sam asked with an high voice.
"Just a friend." She said, shaking her head and looking at an incredulous Sam.
"Noo, Paddy told me he likes Teresa from zero to one hundred thousand, two hundred thousand!" Charlotte said impatiently.
"That's a lot." Sam stated, looking suspiciously at Teresa that was trying to ignore the wave of warm that that little confession had brought in her. She smiled sheepish at the woman.
"Will you come tonight at the Hamburger's night?" Charlotte asked her, grabbing her sleeve.
"I can't tonight, honey." She replied, falling for that little girl a little more.
"Next time?" She asked hopeful.
"Next time, deal." She said, hoping with all her heart that there would have been a next time and ignoring the fact that Jane wasn't replying to her since that morning.
"Time to go now, Charlie." Sam said, taking the little girl's hand. She was about to leave when she approached Teresa, stepping in her personal space. "Be careful with him, he can seem a jackass sometimes, but he's the opposite and he had suffered a lot." Sam said, looking directly in her eyes and she could recognize the sense of protections behind her words.
"I know." She replied and then she watched the couple disappear.
She dialed Jane's number but he still ignored her.
She wasn't in the mood to celebrate, that evening, she wasn't in the mood for nothing to be honest, even if meeting Charlotte had improved her day a little bit. She thought about the fact that two times she had tried to end her relationship with Marcus and both times had been interrupted, like the destiny didn't want to make her do that choice, the saddest part was that she hadn't done anything to ignore those two interruptions.
"Ready?" Marcus asked her in his impeccable suit.
"Yeah, coming." She had chosen a simple black dress, knee length with high heels to complete the look, maybe because she wanted to have something else to focus on, beyond Jane, and her aching feet could do the trick.
"Sometimes I forget how beautiful you are." Marcus said, looking at her in the mirror. He had not a very great way to make compliments, he had always been like that and at the beginning of their relationship she actually found that aspect really funny. Now it annoyed her a little bit, obviously, also because she had just met the man who was able to kill you with his compliments and the fact that his voice made seem every single word, even more unforgettable made everything worst, or better.
"Why don't you want to tell me the gift?" Marcus asked in the car.
"Surprise! Not a tie though, I'm afraid." She said, eyeing the pack behind her through the rearview mirror.
They arrived at the restaurant and she saw her team waiting for her outside, like they were waiting for her permission to enter in the restaurant and she smiled at the picture they made. Cho was sighing impatiently, clearly tired of waiting, his tie was too tight, she wasn't sure he could breathe properly and he guarded in his hand a gift, that she was pretty sure it was a book, seen the shape, a book that Cho loved and Virgil had never hear about, like every year. Grace was lovely in her red dress, she was putting the lipstick on her lips and she had sparks in her eyes, maybe she was the only one really excited for the evening. She couldn't blame her, she knew that, since the redhead had joined her unity, her private and social life had been basically cut off, but Grace had never complained, she was an incredible worker and the fact that she was genuinely excited for a night out was sweet. Then there was Rigsby and Rigsby was starving, judging by the furtive looks he was giving to the dishes on the tables inside the restaurant, gaining a disapproving look from Grace and an impassive stare from Cho that actually hurt him more.
"Hey guys." Lisbon said.
"Boss!" Grace greeted her, "You're beautiful." Grace said honestly.
"Thanks Grace, I guess we can come in." She said to the group. And she could only distinguish a "thank God" by Rigsby that almost ran inside after her permission.
The dinner went out nicely, she loved the company of her team so she wasn't surprised and Virgil from his side, was a lonely man, his team was, more or less, his family and she was really relieved that his sister, Marcus' mother, couldn't be in Sacramento that day, too busy with some work stuff. She knew that Virgil was a little bit disappointed by that, but she hoped that his team could give him the perfect birthday he deserved. The moment of the gifts arrived and Virgil was observing the umpteenth book that Cho had given him, like she had expected, with a face that was a mix of pain and disbelief. Rigsby had bought a bottle of Bourbon that Virgil had really appreciated, while Grace a lovely briefcase. Then, it was her turn, their turn better, even if make the gift together had given her an unexpected anxiety, anyway, she had chosen the gift at the end.
"Teresa, you bought me a cat?" Virgil said traumatized, taking the little animal outside the pack. She had left the animal wandering around her garage during the day, until it was time for the dinner when she had put it in a box that made him able to breathe.
"You like him?" She asked amused. "He will keep you company, grumpy!"
Virgil contemplated the animal in his hands like he didn't know if cry or laugh.
"Are you crazy?" Marcus whispered to her.
"I'm perfectly fine, he already loves him." She said, gulping down the wine from her glass.
The night was about to end, they all were drinking the last glass of sweet wine while Rigsby was eating her fourth piece of cake when, suddenly, Marcus tried to collect everyone's attention.
"I have an announcement to make." Marcus said smiling and taking her hand. She had never experimented a panic attack before but she knew the moment was about to arrive.
Jane's house, Hamburger's night.
"I met Teresa this afternoon." Charlotte said, dueling with the bottle of ketchup in her hands.
"Really?" Jane asked, ignoring the mixed sensation that her name gave him.
"Yes, I told her you like her two hundred thousand." The little girl said, covering her chips with too much ketchup.
"Of course you did." Jane sighed.
"I also invited her next time I come here." She explained serious.
"You did what?" Jane asked, stealing a chip from her plate.
"Tonight she couldn't.. and she seemed sad." She replied. Jane stole another chip, ignoring the complaints of Charlotte while he was thinking about the several calls and texts from her that he had ignored all day. He knew that she deserved that treatment but the problem was he had never been a proud man in his life, it was a way of being that had never belonged to him. If he wanted a thing, he just took it, despite everything and now he just wanted her, maybe even more than before. Later, alone in his living room with Charlotte already under the covers, he was reflecting about his next move, his phone between his hands, ready. Suddenly someone rang at his door.
"Naomi?" He said surprised, looking at the girl in front of him.
"Hey handsome." She greeted him, launching herself in his arms.
"Wait, wait.. are you drunk?" Jane asked, separating himself from her.
"A little bit." She mumbled, trying to enter in his apartment.
"What are you doing? You can't, Charlotte is here." He explained, stopping her.
"Please, just five minutes, I feel like crap and I missed you." Naomi said and he could see she was about to throw up.
"Come in, don't be noisy." He sighed, making her enter.
Alfredo's restaurant.
"I have an announcement to make." Marcus said, taking her hand. "Since you all are basically Teresa's family, I just wanted you to know that I asked her to be my wife." He finished, winking at her.
The group burst out with compliments and greeting while she just wanted to disappear. She felt in a bubble, all the sounds, the laughter, the voices of joy reached her not completely and in a distant way. She took the glass of wine in front of her and she gulped it down in a sip, then she mentally prepared herself for what was coming.
"I have an announcement to make too." She said, interrupting the cheerful atmosphere.
"Finally." Marcus whispered to her ear, making her feel even worst.
"Since you are part of my family and since my private life is not private anymore." She started, eyeing Marcus, "I just.. I just want you to know that I won't marry Marcus." She said, sounding absurd even to herself.
Silence filled the room.
"You're kidding, right?" Marcus asked with a secure smile.
"I'm not. I'm sorry but I'm in love with another man." And she said it at the end. "I said it." She whispered to herself. She looked at Marcus and she apologized once again, then she stood up, went to Virgil and kissed him on the cheek. "I didn't mean for it to happen, especially not today I'm sorry." She whispered to him.
"I just want you to be happy." He whispered back and she didn't know if she had loved him more.
Once out from the restaurant, she called a cab, wanting desperately to see Jane as soon as possible. When she was in front of his apartment, she stopped for some seconds to elaborate what had just happened but she smiled at the end because it was the first time she felt hopeful again. She knocked at his door and then rang the bell at the same time, too excited to check her movements and then she saw him in front of her and her heart beat faster.
"Hey." He said, looking at her while a traitor smile appeared on his mouth. She was beautiful.
"I did it." She said immediately.
"What?" He asked confused.
"I left him.." She said shyly and his small smile became a beautiful grin. "I'm sorry I didn't do it before.. I was.." But he interrupted her, taking her face in his hands and kissing her full of passion at the beginning and softly toward the end. He rested his forehead against her and both smiled sweetly at each other.
"Patrick?" A female voice came from the house. Naomi appeared in nothing but a long shirt, probably Jane's one. "Hey Teresa." She greeted her, smiling.
Lisbon freed herself from his grip immediately. "What she's doing here?" She asked sharply.
"I swear it's not what it seems." Jane tried to explain.
Lisbon chuckled bitterly, "I should probably go, I'm sorry I ruined your little party." She said, gesturing toward Naomi.
"Look, she was drunk—"
"Even better." She said sarcastically.
"Nothing happened." He said, grabbing her arm.
She looked at him with a coldness that he had never found in her pure eyes. "Leave me, now!"
Then she ran away, took the first cab available and disappeared in the night with only one certainty;
Now, she was really alone.
AN: I wanted to say that I took the pet idea for Minelli from last chapter of the beautiful Reconnected by Mayzee. (Mayzee, I hope you won't mindJ) Anyway, Volker will come back next chapter and don't hate me please, the positive thing is that with Marcus is over, please stay with me. I hope you liked it despite the end, let me know, please.