Sarah Walker: Yvonne
Chuck Bartowski: Zack Levi
THE LONG TALK: Sarah ran to her hotel room and stripped out of her yogurt outfit. She jumped into the shower and let the hot water wash away the dirty feeling of killing someone she felt every time she took a life. At this point she had lost track of the number of times she had preformed this particular ritual, but it was the only thing that ever helped. She thought back to the first time she took a life. It was her Red Test. The only thing she knew about the woman she killed was her name and the fact that she might have been going for a gun when she had pulled the trigger. She remembered calling in to Gram and telling him she had completed her assignment. Gram had just said 'okay' and that was it. She had just taken a life for the very first time and all he had to say was okay? She remembered wanting to scream at him, wanted to yell that she was dirty now. That she would never feel clean again. That she was going to hell now, and she would never she her mother again. But it was too late, he had hung up already.
She remembered feeling so wrong. She remembered stripping out of her clothes, the clothes of a killer. She remembered standing in her hotel room naked and not being able to meet the eyes of her reflection in the mirror. She remembered standing under the shower head with the hot water turned on full blast turning her soft alabaster skin blood red, the same red that ran out of the woman she shot that night. She remembered the water running cold and snapping her out of her trance and making her realizes she had at some point fallen to her knees and had been crying. She remembered climbing out of that tub and standing in front of the mirror covered in steam. She remembered wiping her hand across the surface of the cold mirror and meeting, for the first time, Agent Sarah Walker in the reflection. Seeing the cold blue eyes, and the lifeless mask of a killer. She had taken many of these showers in the past ten years, and the more of them she took the shorter they got. She didn't know if that was a good thing, or a bad thing. One thing that had changed over the years she never cried, not since the first time. Tears are for the innocent, not the guilty. The guilty knew, they knew that they didn't deserve the emotional release that crying gave you. In fact over the last eight years she had cried only a handful of times. Each of them had left her feeling a bit strange.
She dressed in a blue sweater and jeans. As she was getting ready to leave she went back to her closet and grabbed her overnight bag. Today she almost lost Chuck to Fulcrum, but she didn't. She was very proud of him for keeping a cool head all day in the face of an armed idiot, and for stalling him until they got there. As far as she was concerned he was a hero today and the least he deserved was to curl up next to her tonight.
As she turned into his parking lot she looked down at the charm bracelet hanging on her wrist. She smiled as she thought about what he said. She told him it was something to give to a real girlfriend, but he just smiled that cute nervous smile of his and said he knew. She had to use all of her agent training to keep her hand from shaking as he put it on her. He was so good at breaking down her walls. So good it scared her sometimes. He did it with that smile, and his charm. She found herself thinking a lot about him recently, about them. It all started with him breaking up with her to go back to his old girlfriend Jill. She was not prepared for how much that actually hurt her. She had stepped aside to let him pursue a real relationship for the second time now but this time it hurt way more. Maybe it was because he had a history with Jill? Or maybe it was because Jill was not just some sandwich shop girl, she was a Stanford graduate, and a successful scientist. And maybe it was because Jill was a beautiful woman, on par with Sarah herself. But a part of her, the part that was a trained CIA seductress, refused to acknowledge Jill's beauty. Refueled to be bated into a into a female pissing contest. Mostly because she had won. Not because Jill was in jail, no it was because she had heard Chuck's words as he arrested her. Chuck picked her, Sarah Walker. He picked his fake girlfriend over his real girlfriend.
Then there was his help with her father. He didn't have to do that, not at all. In fact he put his life in danger to help her with her dad. The same man that spent the whole week calling him a schonk. And even though he deigned it she knew he let her dad get away. No the more she thought about it the more she knew, she was going to try and find a way for them to be together. And she had to do it fast, before another brunette showed up and decided to try and take what belonged to her. She smiled at that thought: what belonged to her. The funniest part about that was she knew Chuck would agree with her on that. Yes, she was going to have to figure this out.
The Bartowski house was very festive that night. Ellie had spent a lot of time trying to make this night as special as she could for a few reasons. The first being that this was the first time both she and Chuck would have someone there for the holiday. The second was she was just happy to be alive tonight. They had spent the whole day held hostage at the Buy More and they all needed to relax after a day like that. The last reason was she wanted to help Chuck as much as she could with Sarah. She saw the charm bracelet on Sarah's wrist, and she couldn't have been happier for him. But try as he might, Chuck was no Casanova. She planed on making the night very relaxing and comfortable for Sarah and Chuck.
She was confident that one day Sarah would be her sister and she wanted to get the ball rolling on that front as soon as she could. She had been waiting a long time for a sister and now she would be damned if her dumb little brother messed this up. She was very disturbed to hear that he tried to get back with Jill. She was sure that he was a smart kid, but sometimes she was equally sure he had been dropped on that big head of his as a child. If she heard anything but engagement/moving in together news in the next three mounts she was going to put them both under house arrest until there was. She was just pulling the roast out of the oven when Chuck came shuffling into the kitchen.
"Hey sis, you need any help with anything?" he asked as he leaned against the sink.
"Not with diner I don't. but I do need you to do something for me Chuck." She said as she gathered the plates.
"Sure sis you know I would do anything for you." He said as he pulled the knifes and forks out.
"I need you to try to make this the most special Christmas you can for Sarah. I want you to do whatever you have to tonight to make sure she is going to be around for next year's Christmas, you understand me Chuck?" She said as she grabbed his shirt collar to pulled him level with her. "Sarah is an amassing girl Chuck, I want her to be a part of this family. You need to make that happen because Chuck you will never find a girl like her again if you let her slip away. I saw mom's bracelet today. I hope that means your serious." She said letting go of him.
Chuck hugged her and whispered, "I am El, but there are a few things we need to work out before that can happen. The situation is a little more complicated then it looks, but trust me El today opened my eyes you might say. I am working on a plan as we speak. And you don't have to tell me sis, I know."
"Well good." she said with a smile.
Sarah knocked on the door and Chuck opened it almost instantly. "Hi." She said shyly. She didn't know why she all of a sudden felt so bashful around Chuck.
"Hey" he said with a with a small smile. He saw the bag and his smile gained some confidence. "Planning on staying are we?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I was planning on it. Is that okay with you?" She shot right back with the same raised brow.
"Well okay then." Chuck said as he led her into the apartment. He took her bag to his room and dropped it on his bed, when he turned to leave he saw Sarah standing in the door way. "Did you need something from the bag?" He asked.
"No." she said as she walked up to him and brushed a stray curl off his brow.
"Okay, did you need something else?" he asked.
"I wanted to talk to you." she said looking around his room.
"On, or off the record." He asked softly.
"Off, please. Is there somewhere we can go?" she asked.
"Yes, but it's going to be a little strange. Come with me." He said as he lead her out of the room and down to the end of the hall. He opened the door to the large walk in closet and turned on the light. "After you." He said.
Once they were squeezed into the closet Sarah got visible nervous. "I know I asked to talk to you but, um, I don't really know what to say now that we're alone." she said with a sad smile.
"Well did you want to talk about today?" Chuck asked.
"Yes, and no. I did want to say how very proud of you I am. You stayed calm, and you controlled the situation as much as you could. But that's not what I wanted to say. God! This was so much easier in my head." she said as she got more and more frustrated.
"Okay. If you're having trouble, can I say some things that I need to say?" he asked. At her hesitant nod he took a big breath and let it out slowly. "Today when the Fulcrum agent was leading me out the door, I stalled him by acting like an agent. I.. well I don't know. Today when I pretended to be an agent with him it felt different. Sarah it was like I made up a completely different persona and put him on. I felt confident. I felt powerful. I felt respected. I felt like a real agent. And the feeling I got when Mouser respected me as an equal really hit home with me. More then I thought it would. And I thought if people respected me like that for real than maybe I could be more help to you and Casey. Then maybe I can run my own life for a change and we wouldn't have to talk like this. I think it all come's down to respect. Maybe if you guys could treat me like an agent then maybe I could be better then I am now. That or I'm going crazy, and developing a split personality." Chuck said without meeting her eyes.
"No Chuck. You're not going crazy. We all do it. Separate the real us from the killer inside. I do it, I know Carina does it. But you do have respect Chuck, I respect you, and so dose Casey in his own way. I wish you could see that." She said as she rubbed his back.
"Yeah, I guess, but Beckman sure as hell doesn't. To her I'm the intersect, I'm a piece of military hardware. Some days it feels like she doesn't even think I'm human. I know I don't have any training but I've done a lot of good work. Work that I'm not being paid for I might add. But that's not even anything, I mean I would do this work for nothing. I know we have done some great things together and I would never give up that feeling of do the right thing for money but, it's just I'm… the very worst part of this whole thing is I can't tell the woman I love, that I love her, with out her being reassigned!" Chuck finished with a huff as his shoulders sank.
Sarah hugged him tight and buried her face in his chest. "But what can we do about it?" she said softly.
"I don't know, maybe there's a way for us to get those things from Beckman? Respect, compensation, a life together?" Chuck asked as he rested his chin on top of her head.
"I don't know Chuck? I don't see her giving you those things any time soon. But maybe we can come up with a way to make her." she said.
"I have the basic framework of a plan to get it all, but it's risky Sarah. Very risky. I've been thinking about it nonstop since we left the Buy More. I need more information, and no mater what we need to get Casey on board. The day after tomorrow do you think you could sneak me into Castle and on one of the secure computers?" He asked.
"Yeah, that's not a problem. What are you thinking about doing Chuck?" She asked with concern.
"I not sure yet. I promise I will tell you the second I have it all worked out." he said with a far away look in his eyes.
"So you love me?" She asked with a smile.
"Well yeah, um I didn't mean for it to come out like it did but, I really do." He said with a blush creeping up his neck.
"Good because that's what I wanted to talk to you about in the first place. Now that you admitted you love me it takes most of the pressure off of me. Chuck, I love you. I think I always have." She said with her head still buried in his chest to hid her own blush.
"Really?" He asked pulling away form her to look in her eyes.
"Yes. It's what I wanted to tell you. I wanted you to know so you could turn the next brunette that comes lusting after you away." she said with a small laugh.
"They do seam to pop up every once in a while." He said laughing as well.
"Yes well you are now off the market, your mine now Chuck." she said before she pulled him into a needy kiss that lasted five minutes and left them both breathless.
"Wow, that was intense." he gasped out.
"You have no idea what intense is. I have a year and a half of pent up sexual frustration to work off. You better come up with a plan fast, because I might just rip your clothes off one of these days. If your room wasn't so heavily bugged I'd skip dinner and show you just how intense I can get." She growled out before she attacked his mouth again. They kept at it for the next ten minutes until Devon opened the door to the closet.
"Wow, a little closet action. Awesome!" Devon said as he walked away.
"Well that was awkward." Chuck said before they both fell into each other laughing.
For the rest of the night Sarah never left Chuck's side. They sat almost on top of each other during dinner and when they sat down to watch It's a wonderful Life Sarah pushed him down on the couch first and then sat down on his lap. Over the course of the movie she slumped over more and more until she was laying on top of him by the end of the movie. Chuck wasn't idle during the movie either. His arms, that started around her waist were now firmly wrapped around her back. And his hands that started out flat against her smooth stomach, had spit up once they got to her back. His left hand found it's way into her right back pocket, and his right hand curled itself in the hair on the back of her neck. At the end of the movie Ellie and Devon said good night and left to two laying there in the dark living room.
"Sarah, it's time for bed." Chuck said softly as he kissed the top of her head.
"But I don't want to get up. I'm comfy." She said with a small pout.
"But the bed is even more comfy." Chuck said as he sat up, but Sarah was having none of it. She refused to let go of him. So Chuck just shrugged and picked her up as he stood. Sarah let out a startled cry and threw her arms around his neck. But apart from that she made no other complaints. Chuck carried her to his bed before letting her down. "Do you want to use the bathroom first?" he asked.
"Yes please." She said as she looked through her bag. She came up with a small black bag and a silk blue nightly.
Chuck made a small groaning sound in the back of his throat at the sight of the flimsy little thing at that moment Chuck broke the glass and let Carmichael out. "Sarah, can you please find something less reveling to wear? Please, for me?" Chuck asked in a strangled voice.
She looked at him quizzically for a minute before shrugging, "Why?" She asked.
Chuck looked around before walking around the bed to stand close to her. "Because," he whispered, "If you ware that to bed you will get reassigned. Because I won't be able to stop myself from ripping it off you. God Sarah you're an incredibly beautiful woman, the last thing I need to do is see you in that skimpy little thing and not be able to touch you." He finished with a growl.
Sarah looked into his eyes and shudder at the look of raw need she saw. It took all of her self control not to rip his clothes off. He was right, with the truth out in the open about how they felt about each other. The only thing holding them back was their own will power and right now she was almost at the end of her rope. "Okay Chuck, you're right. We need to be as cautious about this as we can. I'm so sorry I didn't think about this. I'm sorry for the sexual frustration. Just know that I'm going through the same thing." she said before she backed up and took the work shirt off of his computer chair and a pair of boxer shorts from his drawer. "I'll be back in a bit." she said as she walked out of the room.
Chuck let out a breath he didn't know he was holding before he shook his head and stripped down to his boxers and under shirt. He also changed the glass wall into a door. He needed to slip between the two personality more quickly. He was just climbing into bed when she came back into the room. Her soft bare feet making almost no sound. Standing there framed in the doorway, and bathed in the light of the hallway stood Sarah Walker, woman of his dreams. The light made the white shirt transparent, and showed the outline of every soft curve. Chuck was starting to think she would look sexy in anything. "Is there room in there for me?" she asked softly with a sexy little smile.
"Room? Um yeah… um." He finished not sure what to say.
"Good," she said climbing into bed with him. She readjusted her pillow closer to his and molded her body to his side as she snuggled into him. "Good night Chuck. Marry Christmas." She said before placing a soft kiss on his cheek and falling asleep. Chuck looked at her and breathed in the smell of her perfume. Something soft and light with a hint of lavender.
"Good night Sarah, Marry Christmas." he said rubbing chin agents the top of her head.