The pain in his head was gone. This he was sure. But there was something else rattling around in there. Of something he wasn't sure.

"L-lex?" he called out as his eyes opened. Her apartment. Her apartment. The apartment she got to be closer to him. Like living together, but not. James, Logan, and Kendall's girlfriends, well in Kendall's case fiancée, lived in the same building so why not his?

"Hey, babe." With a mug of something, she walked over to Carlos and handed it to him.

"Mmm, coffee," he said while sitting up and sipping the hot beverage. He didn't care that night was beginning to fall and this would probably keep him awake longer than he should be.

"How do you feel?" She rubbed his head.

"Much better, thanks. Is it true?"

"Is what true?"

"James quit BTR?"

"I don't know. Haven't seen him, but you should probably talk to the guys."

"The guys—Katie—Mrs. Knight! I didn't let her know I'm home! She's probably worried sick." He almost dropped the coffee as he made to get up.

"Logan's here so she might have an idea. Plus, I talked to her about an hour ago. Let her know you're okay and resting in my apartment."

"What'd she think about that?"

"She's approves."

"Of me staying over?" He raised an eyebrow.

Alexa laughed. "I don't know about that!" She kissed his cheek. "C'mon, let's go see the guys."

"You're up!" Mrs. Knight exclaimed when Carlos and Alexa burst through the door of 2J. "How's your head? How are you? Do you need anything?"

"I'm 'kay, Mama Knight." He pulled her into a hug. "Just so glad to be home."

"Well, I'm glad you're home!" She squeezed him tighter. "You had me worried sick."

"I came home in one piece."

"Barely!"

Carlos appreciated the greeting he was getting from his pseudo-mom and as much as he wanted it to continue he had other things to get to. He glanced at the Swirly Slide. He wanted to slide down it so badly. He hadn't done it since before he left last August. But, there was something else he needed to do first.

"Logan's at the pool with Camille. James, I think he ran off in search of Lucy, but he didn't say anything, and Kendall's in his room. Dinner should be ready soon so don't go running off somewhere."

Carlos shared a look with Alexa.

"Mrs. Knight, why don't you let me help you?"

"Oh dear, you don't—" She stopped when she saw the look between the young couple. "Okay."

Instead of knocking on the door like a polite person would do Carlos barged into Kendall and Logan's room. Kendall sat on his bed holding his guitar, a notebook in front of him, and a pencil between his teeth.

"You look better," Kendall commented putting down the guitar and pencil.

"Is it true?" Carlos stepped closer to Kendall's bed. "The thing about James…quitting…is it true?"

Kendall shrugged.

"What happened?"

"I'm not really sure. He's been in this weird mood all day. He even snapped at Gustavo this morning. I don't know what's going on in his head. The last thing he said to me was he quits, so I assume he quits."

"You know what they say when you assume?"

"Oh don't give me that lame-ass garbage."

"Sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. Just taking my anger out on you. I feel he's not even considering his friends in this situation."

Carlos nodded. "I agree. Like he's found something better and doesn't need us anymore."

"Right."

Carlos looked down at his feet. "I wish we'd never gone to Colorado."

.O.

"Where's James?" Gustavo shouted the next morning at rehearsal. "I finally get you two dogs home and then he decides not to show up?"

No one had talked to James yesterday after the fight. No one had seen him. Carlos was pretty sure he didn't even come home since his bed remained in the same unmade position it had been in when he went to sleep.

Carlos was happy upon their arrival at Rocque Records. Just that morning he got to see his lovely Alexa Vega before leaving the Palmwoods. He didn't know why Jo, Camille, and Lucy didn't come down to see Kendall, Logan, and James respectively before they left for the day. He guessed, no he knew, if he had the day off and Alexa had to leave early for filming or something spy related, he come down to see her off.

But, now? James hadn't come with them. They were hoping he had arrived on his own, that what went down yesterday was just anger. Not seeing his face they slowly came to the conclusion that maybe James really had made the decision after all.

"James quit," Kendall stated matter-of-factly.

"What?!" Gustavo's face turned a darker shade of red than it already was.

"He came to a decision yesterday and that was to no longer be a part of Big Time Rush."

"Is he crazy?"

"He's been wrestling with some things in Aspen," Logan answered.

"Oh my…" Gustavo looked like he would rip out what little hair he had. "Go. Just go. I need some time to think about this. Come back after lunch."

"Where are you guys going?" Kelly asked entering the building as the guys were leaving.

"Long story short James quit the band and now Gustavo's having a meltdown," Kendall answered.

"Oh no."

Carlos, Logan, and Kendall walked back to the Palmwoods in silence. There was nothing to talk about. They couldn't do anything until they saw James.

"Back so soon?" Alexa, wearing workout gear, was just about to leave the lobby. "Is this common?"

"When Gustavo gets mad," Carlos replied putting his arms around her. "Where are you going?"

"To work out. Join me?"

Not in the mood to work out, but definitely in the mood to hang with Alexa, Carlos joined her in the gym. Upon entering the gym he spotted the familiar tanned and toned body lifting weights with Lucy as his spotter. When James sat up he and Carlos locked eyes. Carlos smiled at him, but no words were exchanged. It was possible that was because of the physical distance between the two.

Carlos was glad he chose to wear sweats to rehearsal since Gustavo told them they'd be working on choreography that day. He followed Alexa to the treadmills to begin a cardio warm-up. He hadn't worked out since his concussion and decided to take it a slower pace than normal.

"Are you okay?" Alexa, already in a jog, asked him.

"Yeah, yeah."

Carlos kept up a nice steady walk. There was a TV on Judge Judy, but he ignored that. His head was beginning to hurt a little and he tried to ignore that, too. It was because he hadn't worked out in a while, he told himself. That's why the room was spinning. That's why…that's why…

Falling to his knees, the track pushed him off the treadmill so he landed with a thud on his bottom. He felt someone's hands on him, but his eyes were shut too tight to see. They felt like the gentle hands of his girlfriend. Before he could regain his thoughts he felt another pair of hands, bigger, stronger…

"Get him some water!" James yelled.

A plastic bottle was shoved into Carlos's hand. Not realizing it was already open he ended up spilling a bit on his front, but he managed to get some in his mouth. Slowly, his eyes opened and he was able to focus on the sweaty face of his best friend. He patted Alexa's hand holding him from behind.

"I'm okay," he sputtered.

"Let's get him to the crib." James helped him to his feet while Alexa grabbed his hand.

"I'm okay!"

"No, you're not," Alexa said softly. "What if something is seriously wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong! I don't need to go back to the crib."

"There are three of us and only one of you," Lucy pointed out.

"Carlos, please," Alexa begged.

He nodded. He didn't want to admit, especially to himself, but his head did hurt. Maybe he wasn't fully healed from his concussion.

"Babe, what's wrong?"

"What if I never heal?"

Alexa said nothing but squeezed Carlos close to her. He leaned his head against her shoulder thankful she was almost as tall (or should he say short?) as him. She kissed his forehead.

.O.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think you'll be able to play at the New Year's Eve Bash," Doc Hollywood announced.

Carlos sat on the examining table stunned. The concert was over a week away. Surely his head would be healed by then.

"I don't want you rehearsing and performing dance numbers."

Tears welled up in his eyes. No, he wasn't going to cry. He was going to take this like a man. He reached for Alexa's hand. Mama Knight was also there, sitting in the guest chair. There being Doc Hollywood's office after his crash in the gym.

"Am I really that bad?" He asked.

"You have a concussion and according to these records you had one a few months ago, too. You need to rest your head until you are healed."

"Do you think flying from Colorado caused me more damage?" He asked softly.

"It didn't help." Doc Hollywood turned around holding a giant needle squirting liquid.

"Wh-what are you d-doing?"

"Feeding my pet hamster."

Sitting on the table next to the cotton and gauze was a hamster in a cage. How that was sanitary for a doctor's office Carlos didn't know. But, this was Doc Hollywood so he didn't ask.

"What'd Doc Hollywood say?" Kelly asked Carlos over the phone.

"Um…" he called her on their way back to the Palmwoods.

"That doesn't sound good."

"He doesn't want me to rehearse."

"And if you don't rehearse?"

"I can't perform."

"First James and now you."

"You talked to James?"

"Gustavo called him earlier. It's official. He did quit the band. Maybe the band should just forget the New Year's event."

"No. No. That's not what I want."

"What does it matter? You can't perform."

Carlos hung up the phone. She was right. He couldn't perform. Why did he let this happen? He didn't let this happen. He didn't choose to get a concussion or two. It's not like anyone would choose this. He let him get the better of himself. Maybe he should calm down. If he was a quieter person, maybe this wouldn't happen.

.O.

"Two down, two to go," Kelly said to the group of three after hanging up with Carlos.

"What?!" Gustavo shouted.

"Carlos concussion isn't healed and Doc Hollywood wants him to refrain from rehearsal until it is so that means no performing."

"Aaaaghhh! We'll have to get a second opinion on this. I'm not losing another dog." He looked directly at Kendall and Logan. "And we are not cancelling."

"Would you like us to go home while you figure this out?" Kendall asked.

"No."

"What can we-?"

"We need to go through chorography. Mr. X is coming in an hour. We'll adjust everything to fit you two."

"So you're not getting that second opinion on Carlos?" Logan asked timidly.

"Get in the booth and start working on the vocals for Untouchable and Beautiful Christmas."

Kendall made to open his mouth but Gustavo gave him such a stare that he immediately closed it and ran into the recording booth with Logan quickly behind.

"Um, OK, Kendall you take James's lines and Logan you take Carlos's and we'll work from there."

Kendall and Logan shared a look. This was not going to go well.

Nov 2 1990: Sounds like it might make a good story. I'll think about it.