Stuff happen in the dream. Not smut. Just stuff. Also scenes will be used word for word from the book..they belong to Veronica Roth. I use them how they are in order to make the story more authentic. This is the last time I will say this. The scenes will be put in my own ways but will be using her aspects. Such as setting changes but dialogue remains the same. Read the note at the bottom.
I head on over to the park. I wonder what the fucktard has in store for me now..
I find him sitting at a bench, fiddling with his fingers. I go stand in front of him and clear my throat.
"What do you want, fucktard?" I ask annoyed.
"Trust," he says simply.
"It's not that easy, alright?" I snap. I know where this is going to go now..and for that I regret my response.
"Why? What's the reason you can't trust easily?" He asks clearly interested.
"Please, Four. I really don't want to be doing this," I mumble. I start walking away but he grabs my wrist, rather softly, and pulls me back.
"I know about what happened in the cafeteria today. You could've told me about this. You could've told me why you were crying, you know?" He asks with a sigh.
"It's more complicated than that," I say on the verge of tears.
"Humor me," he responds, admitting to stubbornness.
"Please Four. Don't make me do this," I beg. I also sob once while saying it.
He sighs but doesn't prod anymore. He gathers me in his arms and sits me on his lap, rocking me back and forth, calming me, as if it were a soothing mechanism. Maybe it is. Maybe he uses it on all his sluts. I pull away the second my thoughts are voices inside my head. He looks confused at the sudden action but quickly masks it.
"I should be leaving," I say standing up. Just like before, though, he does the process of the wrist-grabbing and twirling.
"Four, I'm not discussing this with you," I hiss.
"Then let's talk about something else," he says rather annoyed.
"This trip? Tori's field trip?" I ask changing the subject.
"Don't know. It's a surprise…well for the freshmen. For the others, it's considered tradition," he says smirking.
"Can't you tell me?" I ask perplexed.
"Nope. That'd ruin the surprise," he says amused at my behavior.
I want to get this over with as fast as I can. I search for his clothes in my bag and then hand them to him. He pushes them back into my hands and shakes his head.
"I told you to keep them," he says.
"I don't want to," I bite back.
"Not my problem," he shrugs.
I slap him. He is very annoying. He rolls his eyes but looks a little angry. I roll my eyes at that.
"Why do you do this? Bring girls into your life with no meaning for them, other than as your 'sexual paradise', and make them think otherwise. As if you actually love them?" I ask, obviously hitting a sore spot. He doesn't show any emotion though.
"Maybe if you tried it, you'd know. And it's not like they aren't warned, what else could I be there for? After all, you weren't blinded at first sight, you knew I was trouble. If they can't contain common sense, then that's their problem," he shrugs. I scoff.
"Manwhore, much?" I mumble.
"Shut up and don't call me that," he grumbles.
"Why do you hate me so much? Everybody knows why I hate you, but why do you hate me?" I ask incredulously.
"I thought I would only have trouble with the Candor asking too many questions," he says coldly. "Now I've got Stiffs, too?"
Candor are the blunt ones..just letting you know. It's all complicated, I'll discuss this whole faction system we own later.
"It must be because you're so approachable," I say flatly. "You know. Like a bed of nails."
"Careful, Tris," he finally says after our staring contest. Silence fills us, but it isn't exactly uncomfortable.
"I told you why you piss me off, remember?" He asks, searching my face. Now I remember. I could be his twelve-year old little sissy.
"Ya. I remember now," I say quietly.
"I honestly am surprised someone could be so…not curvy. Are you a boy or something, that's gay and doesn't want to be humiliated and made fun of so he pretends to be a girl?" Wow, that question was bitter cold.
"Even if I was gay, or a guy, it doesn't matter…the humiliation, it's already there because of you," I say indifferently. He bites his lip.
"Sorry you had to worry for a guy all this time," I say sadly. I wish I could actually be loved by someone…but wishes don't actually come true.
"Don't worry about it..but you might want to get ready for some more bullshit headed your way tomorrow. After all, Christina and Al have now joined our group," he says joyfully.
"How could people like you be so heartless? What is wrong with you?" I ask more to myself but still directed at him.
He just smirks.
"Sweetie, it's time you're taken to your breaking point," he says grabbing my chin and making me look him in the eye. I only nod my head. I have never been so confused in my entire life.
+++
I get home and it's not that late. Probably 6:30. I try to get upstairs without being caught, but fail miserably. I tripped and landed with an "oomph". I've never been that graceful.
"You got in a fight. You got in a fight. You got in a fight," my dad yells more like a statement than question.
"Upstairs, Beatrice. I don't want to hear it," my mother says quietly. Not you too, Mommy.
I head upstairs to my room and change. I then curl up on my bed and listen to the conversation going on downstairs.
"Why couldn't she have turned out like Caleb? What's wrong with her? She is usually better than this." Dad
"I don't know what's with her. Maybe she should live with Ian. She always is obedient after dealing with him. I wonder what his trick is…" Mom
"Don't worry. I'll deal with it. After you guys leave, she'll be better, well as good as she can get." Caleb
What has happened to my family?!
I don't want to hear anymore, after all I've heard enough. I go to the bathroom and pick up a razor. I never had a thing for cutting..never wanted to take the easy way out, but it just seems so easy..and tempting. Like it's calling my name. I decide this is it. First & Last. I heard about a girl who wrote on herself with a razor as a tool until she committed suicide. That was the purpose of the past tense. One part really stuck out to me, though. She had the word "loved" written on the inside of one of her thighs. I don't want to lie to myself. I decide on writing "imperfection" on my hip in small font. I grit my teeth due to the stinging sensation. I don't do it hard enough for a permanent scar, because in the most pathetic parts of me, I still have hope. I do, though, have the razor dug in to the point where a temporary scar is sure to stay. I don't want to bleed to death so I decide to bandage it. The scar will still remain. I walk out triumphantly and head to my room.
+++
It's Saturday. Too bad there's nothing for me to do. Oh well.
+++
It's Sunday and I don't want any "fraternizing" to be including me. I'm just going to cry the rest of the day and stay in bed.
+++
I would've done more on the weekend..but it was really tempting to do nothing. I wake up from my thoughts, not Caleb. I wonder why. Oh wait. He must've left without me. Figures. I go to school.
+++
I'm on my way to Math when Peter appears.
"The Stiff is a guy now?" He remarks.
The rest of them appear, too.
"Explains her body," Nita says.
"Say whatever you want. I really don't care," I say annoyed.
"Well, Stiff. If you want to actually prove you're a girl, it doesn't hurt to show," says Four cockily.
"It probably would hurt though, Four, if she's actually telling the truth. But..there is only one way to find out if it'd hurt, isn't there?" Peter smirks maliciously.
"Get. The. Fuck. Away. From. Me," I say enunciating each word.
"It doesn't matter if she's actually a girl..that is all she is. A girl. She definitely can't be a woman without the figure," Lauren says. I never expected any less shallowness from you.
"Can you guys please just stop?" I ask getting pissed.
"Beatrice?" A voice demands.
"Yes, Caleb?" I ask warily.
"What the hell are you doing?" He screams at me.
"Wow. You never knew your sister for who she really is? That's just fantastic. Let me introduce you to her: slut meet Caleb. Caleb meet slut," Peter says with a smirk.
"Caleb, they–" I start
"I can't believe you! Why can't you just be good..for once?! And you actually get upset when mom and dad try to get you to clean up your act?! And you actually wonder why…we all hate you!" Caleb says, though he asks incredulously.
I have a lone tear that has led its river down my left cheek. I hurry to the bathroom not daring to look at the others for their reactions. I will never be more than an imperfection. Maybe it's time to try that "ditch" thing.…no. They won't get the better of me. No more tears I will let shed, the lone tear was already a mistake. I won't fight fire with fire. I will become a robot, mechanical. No feelings. No emotions. No humanity. I will remain me, but they will not provide effects for me. I will not be their target. If I am, they cannot get the better of me. I am empowered. Beatrice will not belong to me. I am Tris.
I go home. After all, it is the end of the day, and dismissal will be performed. I am home before Caleb because of my free period. Soon, he'll be coming home and telling my parents about what happened. I love my family, no matter what. I know they mostly hate me, but the fact that they still have tolerance for me proves they contain love for me. Even if Caleb hogs most of it. I've been thinking about tattoos for some unknown reason. My family doesn't approve of them, but they just keep catching my eye. I heard there is a tattoo parlor somewhere near here, my friends have recommended it. They should know the best ones, after all, they have experience with tattoos. Uri has a snake behind his ear and one on his waistband. I haven't had a chance to ask what it was though, or what it represents.
"Mom! Dad!" Caleb yells. Wow. I didn't even realize the front door opened.
"Yes, Caleb?" my mother asks.
"Beatrice. I suggest you come down here," yells Caleb.
"She has supposedly been 'sleeping' with guys," Caleb informs once I'm on the last step of the stairs.
"Are you sure, Caleb? Yes, your sister has been acting different lately, but I'm pretty sure she's comfortable with her...purity," my dad shudders before the word leaves his mouth. I know he wanted to use "virginity" but decided against it. He shudders from the word "purity", he'd probably have a heart attack with "virginity". But he actually sided with me. He sided against Caleb and stuck with me. I'm honestly astonsished. Speechless, even. My mother nods her head in approval. I go and hug them. They seem surprised at first, but eventually give in.
"Well, there's only one way to find out. Make her take the test," Caleb states simply.
"Caleb, I know my daughter well enough to know she isn't a slut. Keep your suggestions to yourself, I don't want you talking about her in that way," my father says sternly. With me still wrapped up in his arms. It's these small moments that makes me love them. Sure, they aren't always affectionate towards me, in fact, rarely..but they still have their times, and it keeps me coming back for them.
"A guy told me she does all this. He said, 'Wow. You never knew your sister for who she really is? That's just fantastic. Let me introduce you to her: slut meet Caleb. Caleb meet slut'. Is that your boyfriend?" Caleb glares at me.
"I've never done things with guys. I have only made out once with only one guy..and it was a dare! That was even my first kiss," I defend.
"Then why did he tell me all of that?" Caleb asks bewildered.
"Why did you believe him?" I ask upset.
"I'm sorry, but what was going on there?" He asks warily.
"Nothing, really."
He narrows his eyes at me but doesn't say more.
"You guys are free to go to your rooms now," my mother says softly. She gently puts her hand on my shoulder and kisses my cheek and then my dad tousles my hair and kisses my forehead.
I decide to get some sleep now, and so I start with my dreaming. It opens up with me staring at dark blue, almost black eyes.
I'm staring at dark blue, almost black eyes. My hands are combing through his short hair which is dark brown. His lips-which are on my neck-have a spare upper lip and full lower lip, I identify. He then kisses my lips. He is using his tongue and nibbling on my lower lip. I am french-kissing a guy. I shove him off me-yup, that sounds more like me...but I think too soon. He sits there on the bed with his tie hanging loose around the collar of his shirt and looks excited. I wonder what for. I then re-enter in a silk gown..or nighttie, I'm not sure. I go over to him and grab his hand. I get him off the bed and push him against the wall. I kiss him, hard. And he returns the favor. He scoops me up and places me on the floor. I don't know why he picked the floor instead of the bed. Oh well. His knees are in between my legs-which are spread apart. I'm so confused. What's going on in this thing? I take the tie while kissing him, and then pull back and start running away. Seriously, somebody explain what is happening! He growls and then starts chasing me. He scoops me up again, but this time lays me on the bed. His fingers start searching-for what I don't know-but when I see my garment leaving my body just by a centimeter, a realization strikes me.
I wake up screaming from the nightmare. I should've known it wasn't a dream. The guy and me..I can't prevent the shudder that racks my body. My parents storm into the room.
"Is everything alright, Beatrice?" my mom asks gently.
I nod my head. "Just a nightmare," is all I can actually get out to reply.
They nod and go back to their rooms. Caleb does, too, and I realize then that he was standing in the doorway.
Ermagerd.
Oh my god.
The guy was..
shudder, shudder
Four
I hope this wasn't too innapropriate. If it was, I didn't mean for it to be. Okay, so I read the reviews like right after finishing and updating the chapter. I know. I'm stupid. I cannot remember the usernames very well but I'm making it obvious who I am talking to so..
Okay, I didn't feel comfortable not using the usernames so I stopped being lazy for a second and opened another tab. Crazy, huh?
LoveUriah2232
I absolutely love your idea. I am actually having trouble with figuring out ways to get them together. I want to stay true to the book, but I have a very complex (aka complicated) brain so again, I don't even know what I want. I guess I don't mind maybe making a compromise though..but I will have to see because my brain strays in so many directions. And I don't want anyone to know what will happen next because I'm an evil fucktard
ilovedonuts21
Four is now bipolar. Haha. I want to do a Four's POV but again, true to the book, and it only had Tris's.. I am considering it though. It's just with his POV you know what he's thinking and he isn't a complex character anymore..but again, I'm definitely considering it. And to answer your confusion..that's Four..a complex character. He isn't exactly sure what he wants or who so he's acting like a moody woman who's pregnant and pmsing..I wonder if I spelled that correctly..probably not..probably isn't even a word. Oh well. But in the books, you were never sure what was going on in his head so that is kinda why I wasn't sure if I wanted to do that. I knew the issue would come up soon though..lemme get back to you on that. I don't even know where I am going with this "speech".
blu
There is a story already that is like that and I thought it was interesting but I didn't want to copy. It is called "Unexpected" and it is by "dumbrunette" and has a picture of Theo James's back (the "Four tattoo") and Spongebob.