Kendall sat in his dressing room on New Year's Eve alone. Although Gustavo hated it, he allowed Kendall to perform alone. He would do the new song he wrote for Jo, the acoustic version of "Boyfriend" he'd been working on, as well as a few Christmas classics. He wasn't sure if this is what he wanted to do, but since Logan and James didn't want to perform and Carlos couldn't it was what he felt he was stuck with.
"Can I come in?" Jo stuck her head into the room.
"Yes, you can, fiancée."
"Thank you, fiancé."
"I got something for you." Jo pulled a leather bracelet out of her pocket. "Katie rescued this from your room before she left after the…um, you know, party." She walked over to Kendall on the black leather couch and tied the bracelet around his wrist. "Lucy's performing in a few minutes. Do you want to watch?"
Kendall shook his head.
"OK." She kissed his cheek. "You're going to do fine up there."
"I know…" he trailed off. He never in a million years imagined he would be onstage by himself. Well, he would have the backup band behind him, but that wasn't the same. "We were so happy after the tour. This is what we wanted…to be performing together forever. It all fell apart so fast."
Jo took hold of his hands.
"Things happen. You can't worry about that right now. You just need to go onstage and rock it like I know you will."
.O.
James stood in the left wing watching Lucy sing the final bars to her latest hit "He Will Be Mine", the radio and music video version which had been rewritten to be about him instead of Kendall. When she finished she sat down on the stool and picked up her guitar.
"For my last treat I would like to invite someone very special onstage." She played a few notes on the guitar. "James Diamond!"
Bringing his microphone to his lips, James walked out onto the stage beginning the first verse of "Let It Snow."
"Oh, the weather outside is frightful," he sang. His thoughts were not on how the song did not fit the location, something he seemed to think every time he and Lucy rehearsed, but instead, he realized this would be his last performance.
What was he going to do after this? All he had ever wanted out of life was to be a star. Now, he was. And he was going to throw it all away because of what one pastor said? Who made that guy the end-all be-all? Sure, he was a pastor, ordained by God, but he wasn't God. He was just someone who interpreted the Word of God. He was just as fallible as James was.
Spotting Carlos and Logan a few rows back, he waved slightly to them earning smiles. How he wished they were up here. Before coming to Los Angeles he had no idea how much more fun it all would be having his best friends by his side. He wouldn't trade that for more fame, super models, money, or anything. He knew Carlos had to practically drag Logan to the concert, but he was glad he came. Standing next to Carlos was Alexa. Seeing her gave him reassurance that he was going to be making the right decision, as long as everyone cooperated.
"Bow!" Lucy muttered standing up once the song was finished. James blinked at her coming back to reality. She grabbed his hand, bowed, and then led him offstage.
"I love singing with you," Lucy said kissing James on the lips. He let her for a second before pushing her away.
"Yeah, me, too, um, Luce?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't go anywhere. I mean, you can go to your dressing room or whatever, but don't leave. Not without me."
"OK?"
"There's just something I gotta do and if you wanna watch the final act that's fine."
Without waiting for a response he ran off to find Carlos and Logan. There was one thing he had to do and he hoped they would help him.
.O.
"This is it," Kendall thought as he adjusted himself on the stool with his guitar. He smiled at the audience and strummed a few notes.
"Good evening," he began. "As you can see I'm Kendall Knight representing Big Time Rush. A few things have happened over the last few months and the other guys are not able to perform tonight." He heard the murmurs through the crowd, especially since they had seen James perform earlier. "I am sorry about that, but hey, I'm here, and well…Happy New Year!"
He ran his fingers over the first few chords of the song searching the crowd for familiar faces. He spotted Katie and his mom. Katie gave him a thumbs up and his mom waved. Also standing with them was Jo. She blew him a kiss. He winked at her. He knew Gustavo was there but he rarely came out and watched so Kendall was pretty sure he wouldn't catch his face in the audience. He hadn't come out to see James perform and he knew James wasn't going to stick around, but when he spotted Lucy by herself he knew something was up. Her smile gave him no hint at what that was.
"I guess they didn't come," he thought when he couldn't find Carlos and Logan amongst the screaming teenagers. He took a deep breath. He needed to stop thinking and start singing.
"If I look at you once more, it won't be enough…" he finished.
The lights went out.
That wasn't planned. Was there a power outage? No, he could still hear that his earpiece was on. OK, now someone was taking his guitar. He started to protest. He needed the guitar for the "Boyfriend" number! He stopped thoroughly confused when someone else shoved the microphone into his hand.
The first few notes of the next song began. The lights rose. Kendall glanced to his left and his right. A huge smile spread across his face.
.O.
James grabbed Carlos and Logan and ran backstage. They weren't going to make it. There wasn't enough time! The stagehands would rearrange the stage and then he'd be on.
"We're not going to make it," Logan said.
"I know!" James hissed. "Carlos, are you sure you can do it?"
"Y-yeah. My head doesn't hurt much anymore and we don't have to dance."
"We haven't really rehearsed anything anyway," James said.
"Good evening," he heard Kendall say through the stadium speakers.
"CRAP!" James stopped running.
"It's okay, it's okay," Logan tried to reassure. They were now standing in the wings watching Kendall sing. It was a very beautiful song about how much he loved Jo. He'd written it when they were "broken up" between his birthday and Thanksgiving. "Maybe he should go solo."
"No!" Carlos and James shouted at the same time earning hands across their mouths from Logan.
"They can't hear us over the music," James protested once Logan removed his hand. "I am sorry for the way I've been acting."
"It's okay. You were confused."
"I wasn't. Not really. I mean I knew the answer the whole time. I just…I don't know."
"You don't have to apologize. We can talk about this later."
James nodded. He did have to apologize. He needed to explain to make himself feel better. But, there wasn't enough time and this wasn't the right place.
"As soon as he finishes this song, they're turning the lights off. We run onstage with our microphones," Carlos handed microphones to Logan and James while holding his own, "and when the lights come back on, the music'll play, and we'll begin singing."
"Thanks." James hadn't thought about what they'd do once they got onstage (or what they'd look like considering they hadn't been through hair, makeup, or wardrobe) just that they needed to do it.
Kendall sang the final note. The lights went dark. James, Logan, and Carlos ran onstage. With it being rather dark they could hardly see anything, but there had been only about three things onstage at the moment so they didn't think it would be a problem. Carlos grabbed Kendall's guitar and handed it to a stagehand who had followed them onstage all the while Kendall protested he needed the instrument for the next song. James took the mike out of the stand and shoved into Kendall's hand. The stagehand with the guitar took the mike stand and headed offstage. James and Logan stood on Kendall's right and Carlos stood on Kendall's left.
The lights rose. The music began. The crowd screamed. Kendall's eyes grew as big as saucers as he noticed his three best friends standing around him while he sat on his stool. James nudged him.
"Sing!" He whispered.
"Wha-? Oh!" Kendall looked funnily at the microphone and then brought it to his mouth. "Make it count, play it straight," he jumped up and kicked his stool over behind him. "don't look back, don't hesitate…"
"…if you want it all, lay it on the line. It's the only life you got, so you gotta live it big time!" They ended the song with air punches.
.O.
If this were a movie this would be a great place to end it. But, James says the story won't be completely finished until he gets to give his apology, so if this were a movie, this is what would play during the credits.
Once the guys finished performing, they did the acoustic version of "Boyfriend" as they all agreed it was really well done and should be considered for a future album, their two Christmas songs "All I Want For Christmas is You" and "Beautiful Christmas", and finished with a rowdy rendition of "Jingle Bells" because they had more time to fill and they were in the mood to do it, they headed back to Kendall's dressing room to have their long awaited conversation.
"What just happened?" Kendall asked. "I thought you two quit." He pointed accusingly at James and Logan. "And you couldn't perform." He pointed at Carlos.
"I never said I quit."
"You said…"
"No," Logan interrupted. "That's what you thought you heard. You never gave me a chance to speak. Once you had your mind made up you were mad. I was mad. I didn't want to deal with it. So, I let you go on with your idea of performing by yourself."
"So, you don't want to go back to school full-time?"
"I do. But, not at the expense of the band!"
"That's what he tried telling me," Carlos added.
"And what about you being ordered by the doctor to not perform?"
Carlos looked sheepishly at the ground.
"I'm going to pay for that tomorrow, aren't I?" He looked at Logan. "We didn't dance so that has to be some saving grace?"
"We'll find out tomorrow," Logan answered patting him on the shoulder.
"Whatever. I'll deal with a thousand headaches to perform with you guys." Carlos grabbed his three buds into a hug. After a few seconds Kendall pulled away.
"What about you? You actually did quit. You actually did say the words 'I quit' and you…"
"Actually, shut up." James spoke up. "What I did was wrong and if I could take it back I would. No, I can take it back so I will. I unquit." He raised his hands to shush everyone who had started saying stuff at this proclamation. "I listened to my heart. There is nothing greater than being onstage with you guys. Well, maybe being onstage with Lucy, but no, no. I wouldn't be filled with such joy, excitement, and happiness if this wasn't the right thing for me. I just know it. Maybe God doesn't want me to be so full of myself like I've been in the past, but He does want me to be happy and I'm at my happiest when I'm performing. I found that out when I sang with Lucy. Giving up Big Time Rush is the biggest mistake I could ever make. I'd rather go bald than lose you guys or the band."
"James loves us more than he loves his hair!" Carlos jumped up and down roughing up James's brown locks.
"Hey!" James squealed then grabbed Carlos into another hug, pulling Kendall and Logan into it as well. "I love you guys!"
Tear.
That's it. That's the end. I hope you liked it. I really enjoyed writing it. I don't know. It could have been better. But, I think it was good. If I didn't I wouldn't have put it out for you all to read. Thank you for reading it.
You think this is the end, don't you? I did just say that it was.
But, no.
It's the end of this story, but not the end.
There's going to be a sequel (raise your hand if you just knew that was going to happen). It'll be called Big Time Surprises (I'm trying NOT to name them after BTR episodes and that one does have an "s" at the end so it's not quite the same) and should be out soon. I am VERY excited to get to it. I've got some great ideas that I hope you all enjoy. Hope to see you there!