It's almost Friday. But it's not. Because it's Thursday. Ha-ha.

I seriously sound like a pysochopath. Maybe I shall take the test.

Nope.

I decide on wearing the black lace tank top that ruined my life. Sad that it is one of my favorites. I put on black boots with the three embellishments on each side. I go downstairs and just head out to walk, skipping breakfast. My parents are back to the way they were before...yes, it upsets me; now stop that. Tomorrow night I have to go to Ian's house. I better get ready for the abuse. I have my gauze and everything else packed. The month is coming to an end which means my parents will be leaving soon. They already have their suitcases packed and are just waiting for the date when they board their plane to arrive. I've desperately been trying to grab their attention..and let's just say it isn't exactly working out the way I want it to. Anyway, back to walking. I'm silently praying that Christina and Al..oh ya, and Will are ready to forgive me. How could someone so small and pathetic be so harmful and destructive? It boggles my mind, I tell you.

I reach my locker and find Christina, Will, and Al. Except this time, they're not trying to sabotage me.

"Have you guys finally come to a conclusion?" I ask hopefully.

"You're something, you know that?" Now she's answering questions with questions.

"I didn't get an answer, you know that?" I smile at her.

"I was really stupid to let something as dumb as competition get in the way of our beautiful friendship. Even when I was wrong...you still were the one who begged me for forgiveness. I'm sorry," she says with glassy puppy-dog eyes.

"It's alright. But you know..I never meant to steal your spotlight," I say wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

"It was just jealousy, nothing much. And now that I know you can kick my ass at that, it's time for celebration," she says squealing in delight.

"No. Not shopping," I groan.

"Think of it as my friendship gift to you."

"Christina, now it just seems like you're back to hating me."

"I never hated you..just jealousy," she says looking away. Now I feel bad for bringing it up.

"How was your time over at the dark side...with the devils," I grin mischieviously.

"Ehh. I prefer my best friend."

"Please don't start going all sentimental on us," Will whines.

"Whatever. You guys owe her apologies too," Christina scolds. I wish she didn't bring that up. I'm just glad my friends are back.

They both mutter "sorrys" and Christina huffs in annoyance. I end up calming her down and head on over to math. On my way there Peter approaches me.

"Stiff, how was making out with Four? I mean, him having to carry you and then shoot a video with you where you two play lovers...that's got to be awful, well, for him," Peter snarkily says.

"Please stop insulting me, Peter. I know what I have to do already and I'm not in the mood to have to relive those moments," Four says coming out of nowhere.

"You both are sick," I roll my eyes.

"Surprised your friends came crawling back to you. They must be desperate," Peter smirks.

"I just don't get why they'd want you over us. But, to face the truth, Christina did ask if she could still continue getting more of this," Four says running a hand down his chest. I gag.

"Aw, Four. I guess she doesn't prefer you. Maybe I can do the trick, huh?" Peter asks Four.

"Knock yourself out. I'm not going to even try to figure out why I won't do the trick, because it's obvious she's mental," Four says emotionless.

Next thing I know, Peter has me shoved against the wall with one hand pinning my arms above my head and the other is resting on my thigh. I bring my knee up and attack what better be the last thing on his list of shoving into me. While he's hunched over I run to math. Before I can make it though Four clings onto my shirt and pulls me back.

"I've been acting sweet this whole time for your sake. If you don't want to play nicely then maybe it's time I don't either. Got that, Stiff?" he hisses into my ear. I swallow and nod my head. Most of the time when Four is intimidating, I don't back down. I still don't, but I can't resist the shudder that goes down my spine this time. If you think about it, he has been acting better than when we were in middle school. I'm not admitting it to him though. I'm still not gonna give him a bigger ego than he already has.

"Now get lost," he says quietly, though more generously.

I make my way to math and when I sit down I try avoiding his eyes as much as possible. A hand slaps down onto my desk making me look up.

"Beatrice Prior! What do you have to say for yourself?" Mr. Asshole demands.

"What did I do this time?" I ask tiredly.

"A phone call will be sent home." is all he says.

I start tracing the scar that is still there. I've been doing that a lot lately I've realized. I remember first getting it and acknowledging how big of an imperfection I am. One thing in my messed up life is back the original way it was...now if only the rest would. Some things never change, though.

Lunch and all my friends are back together again. It is a lovely scene.

"There are rumors that Tori will be taking us on a trip soon." Christina. Always up-to-date with the latest gossip.

"Zeke won't let me in on it. I heard it's a big deal and supposedly a surprise for the freshmen," Uri says through a mouthful of food.

"It's also tradition." I pitch in.

Everybody stares at me, wondering how the hell I even know what is going on..

"Tori was talking about it in class. Wasn't she?" I ask, but a little later realize that Four could've just been talking about that to Tori when I wasn't in on their conversation and she told him to tell me about it.

"Tris, this is rumor...or at least, not anymore, since Uriah confirmed it," Christina says snapping her fingers at me and then glancing toward Uri.

"But-" I stop mid-sentence in order to organize my thoughts. I guess I'll just ask Tori about it after class. "Never mind," I continue.

"What? What is it?" Christina tries pruding. I just shake my head.

Right when we enter Tori's classroom I walk over to her and tell her to remind me that we need to talk later; she just nods her head. I sit down with everybody else and notice how Mar and Lynn have been extremely quiet ever since we all reunited. I'll have to ask them about that later.

"Okay, I don't really have anything planned for today since your only assignment is..you know," Tori says once everyone has entered. At the end of her statement, I caught her eyeing me. Even without seeing her it was obvious who she was referring to. "So you guys can go ahead and discuss more details about your project." Next thing I know Four is sitting right next to me.

"Let's get this over with, shall we? Before, of course, you space out," he says.

"I'd love that," I reply scrunching my nose. "But, then again, there isn't really much to plan. After all, Matthew has it all done and under control." Speaking of Matthew, he still hasn't sent any text yet. Hm, maybe he forgot?

"Yes, but that doesn't mean we can't have our own ideas," he replies. I scoff. "And what exactly do you have in mind?" I ask skeptically.

"We should shoot bed scenes." Do I really have to look for the smirk when it's already evident in his suggestion?

"I thought I could be your 'twelve-year-old' sister." He looks at me and says, "Yes, you can. But hey, I don't think the other girls would mind." For some reason, I think back to what he said earlier about Chris and him. I know it can't be true.

"Could you be more cocky?" I ask dully. He smirks. "Well, since you're obviously not cooperating, what do you want to do?"

"Get the hell away from you."

"Then why don't you?"

"This is where I was sitting. You came here, you can go somewhere else."

"Don't you have legs, or do I need to carry you?" Now he's annoyed...but I couldn't care less.

"I never asked for you to carry me," I shoot. He huffs and mutters "pipsqueak" under his breath. Yup, the name is definitely back. "Go away, Four," I say tired. He doesn't say anything else, just walks back to where he came from. Nita is there waiting for him, and when he comes she goes to sit in his lap and start kissing his neck. He doesn't exactly push her away, but he doesn't keep her close either. She ends up sitting on a chair across from him, and being the girl she is, she keeps whining, trying to get back on top of him. He keeps declining and makes her settle for holding his hand. My friends come closer to me now that Four is gone.

Everybody is discussing since they don't have amazing directors like Matthew. I really owe it to him...even if he totally forgot about our shoot. I'm not crushing on him or anything, but he really doesn't seem that bad. Finally, the bell rings, signaling the end of the period. I grab my stuff and head over to Tori. Everybody else filters out due to having classes, but I really wouldn't care being late to class for something like what I'm going to do. My curiosity just takes over. But it's not like I have to actually picture the alternative of being late to class..after all, I have a free period and then dismissal. Nothing to stop me.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" I'm pretty sure she has a decent idea of what I have in mind. "Your 'tradition'." She looks shocked for a moment that I actually knew about it and then it seems as if something hits her and she straightens herself out and places a...smirk?..on her face. I'm not grasping the situation anymore. Why was she surprised that I knew? Didn't she tell Four to tell me? And why does she have a smirk plastered onto her face? "So, I see Four told you when I specifically told him not to," she says surprising me. "Is that what you guys were talking about when I wasn't present?" I ask with realization striking my face.

"He asked and of course I said no because it's supposed to be a surprise. I knew he was going to do it anyway but it was still worth a chance." She says with a sigh.

"He didn't spill much, just that there was a trip coming up," I don't know why I'm defending him. Probably because I wouldn't want anyone to get in trouble because of me. "Why did he tell me though?" I ask confused. She just smirks. "Tori, tell me," I whine.

"Maybe one day you'll find out, well, hopefully, you will," she says, evasiveness spilling her entire tone. "Fine. Don't tell me. Bai." I grab my things but once I get to the door Tori shouts, "Don't tell anyone, but we're playing 'Capture the Flag'..that's also all you're getting told, sweetheart."

I'm not content at all with the extra bit of information she decided to spare me, but I must admit that it did help. Especially the fact that she chose me to give information. Some people know it about the trip through rumors and some have older siblings that reluctantly spill it...but me, I was told and given the task of the trip by the teacher herself. Okay so maybe Four spilled some of it..Tori did a lot too.

After my trek from school, I plop down on the couch and start eating the carton of ice cream. I turn on the tv and start watching "The Vampire Diaries". It's so heartbreaking that Elena won't be returning in the series due to Nina Dobrev's departure. They're showing a marathon of the show and it ends right when my basketball game starts. Today, I think, it's Miami Heat against Boston Celtics. Yes, I live in Chicago and they're my favorite basketball team [the Chicago Bulls], but I do have second favorites just like everybody else and my second favorite would have to be Miami Heat. Why did Lebron leave, why? Michael Jordan retired, too. To be honest, it's like these legendary basketball players are dissapearing by the second. Next thing you know, Kobe Bryant will be playing for Heat right before he retires. I mean, did you see how many teams Shaquille O'Neal played for? Shaq and Dwayne were playing side by side when Heat won the 2006 championships.

Ya, ya, ya. I must have a part of me that was injected with a y chromosone. But a girl likes sports, big deal. It's not that big of a guy's thing. And if I do say so myself, I'm just as good at playing it as watching it..and I can kick a guy's ass at it too. I remember how it used to be our thing-my dad and I. He even got me my first jersey. It was a Michael Jordan one and it was signed.

I miss those days.

I still have the jersey hung up in my closet. Most people would have it hung in their room, but sometimes I like to wear it so..
+++

I wake up from a nap that I wasn't aware I was performing. How ironic? Once I open my eyes I see my family hovering over me. I rub my eyes and groggily get up. "What time is it? How long was I out?" I ask with a yawn at the end. "Get up and go to your room, now," my father demands. Caleb goes and sits on another part of the couch and turns on the tv.

"No offense, Bea, but can you get the hell out? We're going to watch our tv now and it's kinda hard to do with you hogging the couch," Caleb smiles at me, though I know he has only disapointment for me. "Of course," I mumble. I head upstairs and enter my room. I shut the door and stay in my own little bubble trying not to pay attention to reality. I realize a little later that I feel uncomfortable and when I look down I see that I'm still in my school clothes which surprises me. I usually get out of them as soon as possible due to wanting to relish in the comfort of my pajamas. I have black sweatpants and a black shirt. Yes, I like black clothing a lot. Don't judge. Some people have the same problem as me in school, so I'm not alone. I will sometimes change into shorts right before bed and a sweatshirt or jersey or whatever. I'm boring myself with this wardrobe talk. Not Christina.

Anyway, if at the moment I prefer more-revealing clothing such as shorts or tank tops I will change right before bed. I don't feel comfortable walking around like that even in the comfort of my own home. Well, I really just don't feel comfortable wearing that in front of others, including my family. But hey, those are just my modesty issues. I know I put a brave face when I need to..like with that dare [I can't stop the shudder that goes through me after the thought]...but I'm still terrible at this kind of stuff. I take my shirt off for Ian's abusive ways, that's it. And my skin ends up being covered with blood anyway so it doesn't really matter. I wouldn't want the same for my shirt. Even the kissing, though, I just let Four lead and I followed suit. I guess I did pretty well, but don't let that fool you. I'm the biggest amateur there is. If I have to do it again, I'll fail miserably because that had to be luck that allowed me to do so well.

After I'm done changing into my pajamas, I decide to just lay in my bed and wait around for sleep to catch me. I stare at the ceiling and wonder if this is how high school is supposed to be. Or is it just this way for me? I find out my enemy and I get beat usually and don't have the best families. My friends dump me for absolutely no reason to just come running back wishing for forgiveness-some more than others-and I'm so desperate to have them back I let them back in without a second thought. A wedge has been placed in our group because of me. Mar and Lynn are acting unusual. I'm getting special treatment with one teacher and the other is treating me like shit. Four has stayed with the same girl for a pretty long time now [well for him]. And Zeke and Shauna seem to be hitting it off ever since the day after she was sitting on Four's lap. Ugh. So many things..

What does the rest of my life hold?