Robb observed his reflection in the mirror. He never thought he was one of those guys, the kind who stared at themselves for long quantities of time in the bathroom. But he wasn't looking out of vanity, he was looking out of curiosity. He looked the same, the same chestnut hair, the same scruffy beard, the same sapphire eyes. But he felt alien, like a stranger in his own skin, and he had for the last nine months. He wouldn't lie, college was fun. He liked the freedom, the partying, the people, and hell, he liked the girls. He'd even had an on-again, off-again relationship with a girl from his hall, Margaery. She was beautiful and clever, but she had no warmth to her. They'd lost their virginities together and yet he'd still felt no emotional connection to her.
And now he was pushing the only girl who ever made him feel like himself away. He thought he was helping her by moving on with someone else, but he was wrong. That's what had brought him to the mirror in the first place, it was the night of his date with Roslin. After his ordeal with Sansa and Joffrey that morning the last thing he wanted to do was eat cheap Italian food and pretend to be interested in what Roslin had to say. But he was a man of his word and couldn't bring himself to cancel. He was snapped out of his daze by Arya rapping on the door.
"What are you doing in there? It's 6:55, don't you have to go soon?"
Shit, Robb checked his watch. He was supposed to pick Roslin up at 7:00. He dashed out of the bathroom, grabbed his keys and wallet and headed for the door.
"Wait one second," Catelyn ordered.
Robb sighed and raked his fingers through his hair. "What?"
"Remember to lock up when you get home, we'll probably be asleep by then."
"Ok," Robb responded reassuringly. Before walking out the door he caught a quick glimpse of his family watching TV. Sansa stared at the screen blankly. Her eyes were red and puffy. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and tell her how sorry he was and that he didn't mean it. But instead he walked out the front door and got into his car. You're doing the right thing, he told himself. You let these delusions go on too long.
As it turned out, Robb sped over to Roslin's for nothing because when he arrived she was still getting ready. He stood uncomfortably in the Frey's foyer while her father burned holes through him with his eyes. After what felt like an eternity Roslin bounded down the spiral wooden staircase wearing a pink blouse, jean shorts and her same scrunched up smile.
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The date went well enough. They went to a local Italian restaurant and pub. Robb got overcooked chicken parmesan and Roslin got a Caesar salad that she barely touched. They talked about high school and college and had few awkward silences. Robb was surprised that he actually enjoyed Roslin's company. She was sweet, but he couldn't help comparing her to Sansa. Roslin didn't glow when she smiled, or flick her hair around, or let out a little sigh after taking a sip of water like Sansa did. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew it was crazy to blame Roslin for not having the same quirky habits as Sansa, but that didn't stop him.
After dinner Robb drove Roslin home. They sat in his car for a few minutes while she thanked him for the date and told him what a great time he had. Then he kissed her because he could tell she wanted him to. But he felt nothing. No electricity, no want, no fire. It was she who intensified the kiss. Roslin tasted like salad dressing and altoids, and all the while Robb wondered what Sansa tasted like. He laced his fingers through her hair to try to heighten the passion, but it was stringy and bridle. He thought back to his day in the park with Sansa when he ran her silky auburn locks through his fingers.
After a couple minutes Robb broke off the kiss. He forced a smile and told Rolsin that he should be getting home. She agreed and gave him one last peck on the cheek before leaving.
It's not like the kiss was horrible, he'd definitely had worse. But he felt dirty and guilty to his core. Even if he wasn't technically cheating on anyone, he felt like he was betraying himself. Home was the last place he wanted to go. So he drove around for a while and before he knew it he was outside Theon Greyjoy's house.
Theon was Robb's best friend in high school, next to Sansa of course. He was crazy, and frankly an asshole sometimes, but he always knew how to show Robb a good time, and that's what he needed right now.
"Will you look what the cat dragged in?" Theon speculated when Robb came to the front door. "What exactly is Winterfell's very own Young Wolf doing here at this time of night?"
"Just thought I'd see what my boy's up to," Robb said, pulling Theon into a bear hug.
The two went inside and ventured down to the basement. What started as friendly catching up ended as most of Robb and Theon's hang outs did, by getting drunk and watching the Dark Knight for the millionth time.
After two hours, and nine drinks split between them, Theon switched the conversation topic out of the blue, "I talked to Sansa last week at the library."
This caught Robb's attention, his and Theon's relationship was fairly straight forward. They talked about football and girls, never family. "Yeah. She reads a lot," he responded through slurred words.
"She looked good," Theon noted.
"Yeah she always looks good," Robb said without fully understanding Theon's tone.
"Puberty sure treated her well. With those legs I bet she has every guy in that private school of hers drooling." Theon exhaled, "God, what I'd give to see her in one of those tight uniform skirts."
"What the fuck Theon?" Robb asked. "She's my sister."
Theon scoffed, "Like you haven't noticed." He muttered under his breath, "I'd fuck her even if she was my sister."
Robb's blood boiled hot in his veins. Without hesitation he stood and sent his fist flying straight for Theon's jaw.
Theon faltered and spit blood onto the carpet. "Are you fucking kidding me?" he yelled.
Robb grabbed Theon by the collar. "If you go within fifty feet of my sister ever again I will break your fucking face!"
Theon laughed without humor and narrowed his eyes, "You want to fuck her, don't you?" Robb breathed heavily with anger but didn't respond. "Yeah," Theon continued. "I bet you'd love to get between those long legs with Mommy and Daddy sleeping right in the next roo-"
That's when Robb sent a second right hook at Theon's nose. He stumbled away from Robb and covered his face with his hands.
"You're a prick. You've always been a prick," Robb said through gritted teeth.
Robb stormed out of the house like it was on fire. Rage radiated throughout his entire body. How dare he talk about Sansa that way. He's a pervert and a predator, Robb told himself. Hitting Theon wasn't enough. He wanted to hospitalize him and then key his car for good measure. But for now breaking his nose would do.
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Sansa was wide awake at 2:30am and it wasn't because of the coffee ice cream she had for dessert. It was because of Robb. She wanted to be awake when he got home. She wanted to make sure that he didn't spend the night with Roslin. She had never pegged Robb for a "first-date-sex" kind of guy but now she wasn't sure. It's 2:30, she thought. What else could he be doing?
So she went downstairs for a snack, there was no falling asleep on an empty stomach. She poured herself a glass of milk, grabbed a Poptart, and sat down at the kitchen table. She unwrapped the silver foil and just as she took her first bite Robb stumbled into the room. He was oblivious to her presence as he staggered towards the sink and ran his hand under cold water. Sansa saw the water turn red as it trickled down the drain.
"What happened?" she asked.
Robb turned around with a jolt, "Jesus," he sighed. "You startled me."
Sansa moved towards him and took his injured hand in hers. "Did you punch someone?"
"Oh, you mean this? I… slipped." Robb slurred.
Sansa scoffed, "You're drunk. And you're a terrible liar."
"Theon's a bloody prick!"
"You saw Theon?" Sansa questioned.
"Yeah! He's a bloody prick!" Robb loudly reiterated.
"Quiet," Sansa urged. "Do you want to wake up the entire house?"
Sansa lead Robb to the kitchen table and began treating his hand with Neosporin and bandages from the cabinet.
"So you ran into Theon on your date?" Sansa whispered without removing her eyes from what she was doing.
"No," he answered. "I went to Theon's after the date."
"Why?" she asked casually.
"I don't know. I wanted to get drunk."
A small smile crept on the corner of Sansa's lips. "It was that bad?"
"No, she's nice and all." Robb's met her eye contact. "It's just not the same."
Again it appeared, for the third time Sansa felt a strange thickness in the air between them. Robb's breathing quickened and she couldn't tell whether it was real or just because he had been drinking. Robb's blue eyes darkened and she felt his warm breath tickle her face. In that moment she knew she wasn't crazy. Robb felt it too. She could feel his difficulty to restrain himself radiating off of his skin and his passion begging to burn through. She closed her eyes in a final attempt to control herself but it didn't matter, because Robb pressed his lips to hers anyway.
The kiss was sweet and passionate and everything and nothing that had ever existed before. Electricity ran through Sansa's entire body. Their lips parted for a moment before Sansa crashed hers back to him. Daringly, she opened her mouth and granted him access inside. Robb wasted no time and slid his tongue past her lips and licked her delicately. He used one hand to grip a fistful of her perfect silky hair and the other to cup her face. The soft touch of his thumb across her cheekbone vastly contrasted the ferocity of their mouths. They were bewitched by each other, kissing and biting and gnawing as if they were possessed. Sansa moved her hands to graze up and down his chest, tracing his muscles through his black button up.
Sansa sighed into Robb's mouth as he slid his tongue across her bottom lip. The feeling of her breath against him made Robb shudder and plead her name helplessly, "Sansa."
Sansa froze in her place. The sound of her own name, however enticing when coming out of Robb's passionate lips, had brought her crashing back to reality. She jerked away suddenly from his grasp. The reality of what they had just done hit her like a 25,000-pound school bus straight to the chest. She began to hyperventilate and tears stung her eyes. She couldn't see Robb anymore; he was nothing but a blurry shape blocking her route of escape. She willed the tears out of her eyes and stood up from her chair to push past him. She didn't know where she was going, she just knew she had to get as far away as possible. Before she knew it she was out of the house and moving swiftly across the grass lawn of their estate. Her walking pace quickened and she began to grab fistfuls of her hair and pull harshly. Somewhere in the back of her mind she heard Robb calling her name but she didn't stop, she wasn't sure if she knew how to anymore.
"Sansa, slow down. Let's talk about this," Robb pleaded as he grabbed her wrist and turned her to face him.
Sansa lurched away from him forcefully. "Don't touch me!" she yelled and backpedaled away from him. He began to advance towards her. "Stop," she shrieked. "Just please don't come any closer to me."
Robb looked as though her words had broken him. "Ok, ok," he surrendered.
They stood in place while Sansa tried to catch her breath. Robb watched her with a mixed expression of astonishment and guilt.
After several minutes Robb broke the silence. "Listen San, I am so sorry. I shouldn't have done that. We can forget it happened. Everything can go back to normal." She didn't answer. "Please Sansa forgive me. I can't lose you."
Sansa shook her head furiously. "No. I can't- I can't handle this. How could you do this to me? Can't you see what you're doing to me?" She let out another quaking breath before continuing, "I'm on fire Robb. I'm a house on fire and I can't stop burning."
"I know," Robb pleaded. "Me too. You think I don't feel it too?"
Sansa couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't look at him.
"I'm sorry, I can't be around you right now."
She walked away and for once Robb didn't follow her.
Sansa continued moving away from the house. Somewhere along her journey she stopped mid stride and sat down in the middle of the dewy grass. Her hyperventilating started again and finally she gave into the tears. She'd expected to cry out of guilt. She expected to cry because it was wrong and wicked. But she didn't. She cried because it was so right. Kissing Robb didn't feel filthy or immoral like it was supposed to, it felt liberating. She cried because she was unlucky, she found the one person in this world that made her completely iridescently happy and he was her brother. It wasn't fair. She'd fallen in love with Robb when she wasn't supposed to.
Sansa was crushed by the harsh realization that she and Robb could never be together. They would be outcasts, disowned by their parents and shunned by society. No, they could never be together, and subsequently she knew she could never be happy again.