Yang screamed in frustration as she tried to flip a pancake over, only for it to land on the hot stovetop. She let out a creative string of curses and began scraping off the quickly burning pancake with her spatula.
Neo sighed and waited while Yang shuffled around the kitchen, continuing to prepare breakfast while muttering under her breath. Yang was clearly frustrated by the limitations of her new arm, which was more than understandable. If anything, it hurt Neo as well to see Yang struggle so much.
If only there was a quicker way than just practicing, she thought. Neo shrugged and leaned against the counter as Yang picked up an egg.
"You ever learn to cook?" Yang asked as she held the delicate egg between her metallic fingers.
Neo shook her head.
"No. Never had the time. I was too busy trying to find food to wonder if it tasted good."
Yang blushed.
"Oh. Right. Sorry."
She gently tapped the egg against the rim of the frying pan, cracking it. A triumphant smile crossed her face as she cracked it open.
"Ha! I'm getting better at this!"
She cracked the egg open into the frying pan, then reached for another one.
Neo smiled.
"Good job!"
Yang stopped at four eggs, then scrambled them and let them cook while she turned her attention to the hashbrowns.
"I had to learn to cook. After Summer died, my dad kind of...shut down. I had to take care of Ruby most of the time."
Neo saw Yang's smile flicker as she thought about her runaway sister. She put a sympathetic hand on Yang's arm.
"You sound like a good sister."
Yang gave her a bittersweet smile which soon faded.
"Thanks. I just...wish I had been stronger."
Neo didn't have an answer to that. Instead, she was silent, resting her head on her hands as she leaned against the counter, watching Yang cook. After a moment, the blonde asked Neo another question.
"Is that why you like ice cream so much?"
"Hmm?"
"Because you never had the chance to enjoy it. You like sweet things."
Neo blinked.
"Y-yeah...I guess so."
She'd never really thought about it like that. She just...liked having the luxury, even if it was something as small as ice cream.
"You're smarter than you look."
"You think I don't look smart?" Yang asked, a playful smile on her face. Neo scoffed and rolled her eyes.
"You know what I mean."
Yang chuckled and turned off the stove.
"Alright, breakfast is ready. Let's eat."
/
Panting heavily, Yang slowed to a fast walk and wiped at her face. Sweat poured down her forehead and neck, plastering locks of blonde hair to her face.
I really should start tying this back when I run, she thought, before sucking in another deep breath. The cold dawn air stung her lungs and made her chest tighten, and she could have sworn her sweat was freezing. Her heart pounded, pumping blood through her limbs, but her toes and fingers felt numb even through her wool socks and gloves. Her Aura and her black-and-yellow track suit protected her for the most part, but she still felt extremely uncomfortable.
She didn't even want to think about what would happen if she touched bare skin to the metal of her arm.
This is garbage. You are garbage.
She flexed the fingers of her good hand, trying to get blood flowing through them, but her heart was already pounding like a drum. She could hear her pulse thundering in her ears, even over her ragged, heavy breathing.
How did you get this out of shape? You used to be able to run a mile like it was nothing.
Neo had stopped jogging when Yang had doubled over gasping for breath. She stood ahead of Yang on the forest trail, hands planted on her hips, a smirk on her face.
It wasn't a mocking smile, rather Yang had come to understand that it meant something like "Is that all you got?"
Yang shot a glare at her and bent over, resting her hands on her knees as she caught her breath. It wasn't that Neo made her angry, it was that she was...a motivator. Yang of course wanted to be strong again for herself first and foremost, but Neo's presence was a constant reminder to Yang that she wasn't the only who wanted to see her make a full recovery.
And, in a way...she didn't want to let Neo down.
Yang looked back over her shoulder. By her guess, she was about half a mile from the house. All she had to do was go back the way she came.
"Come on, Yang. You literally - haah - get stronger...from pain. You're gonna feel...like a million bucks...after this."
She wasn't really convinced by her own words, but at the very least catching her breath made her feel a little better.
Besides, it was more exercise than she'd done the day before. Every day Yang walked a little further, lifted a little more, felt a little stronger. And every day, Neo pushed her a little more.
"Alright, let's go," Yang gasped.
Neo blinked and gave Yang a smile and nod that said "That's what I thought." She turned and started running back up the trail towards the house.
Yang straightened up, feeling the pull of the muscles in her back and legs, and knew she'd be really sore in a day or two. But she cracked her neck and started running down the trail after Neo, feet crunching in the light layer of snow that had fallen last night.
"One mile! Easy!"
Powering through her exhaustion, she turned around and made her way back to the house. She was looking forward to completing her first run.
/
Neo stepped into the open doorway of Yang's room with hesitation. Seeing Yang lying in her bed, staring at the ceiling, she rapped her hand on the doorframe to get her attention. Yang sat up and looked at Neo, and she pulled her fluffy pink bathrobe closer around her.
She had purchased it recently, along with the oversized t-shirt and cotton pajama pants she wore underneath. She enjoyed having clean clothes to sleep in rather than her old tattered outfit - she was thinking about replacing that as well, or getting a new look entirely.
She was also careful to use her illusions to disguise the colors when Taiyang was around. Neo liked soft pink and white clothing, Florence preferred blacks and greens. Part of her wished she didn't have to hide her identity, but she still didn't know how Taiyang would react. Best to lie low until then.
"Need something?" Yang asked. Neo cleared her throat.
"Mind if...we talk a bit?" she asked. Yang shrugged.
"Sure, come on in," she said, propping herself up against the headboard. Neo closed the door behind her and dropped her illusion, then looked around the room. Aside from the bedside table and some bookshelves, there was also a desk and chair and another bed, this one empty and neatly made. It was Ruby's bed, judging from the red pillows.
Neo realized with a start that the need she had once had for revenge against the red-hooded girl had faded. She couldn't imagine herself killing Ruby anymore, though a few months ago she had eagerly entertained the thought. Somehow, the thought even appalled her - it would destroy Yang if she were to lose her sister for good, especially at the hands of someone she trusted.
Neo blinked and realized she had been staring at Ruby's bed. She pulled the chair away from the desk, placed it close to Yang's bed, and sat in it.
"So, what did you want to talk about?" Yang asked her. Neo shrugged and pulled out her Scroll.
[Nothing. I wanted to, you know...hang out]
Yang blinked at her, then smiled.
"Okay, sure. Just chat, right?"
Neo smiled and curled up in the chair, drawing her knees up to her chest. She'd been increasingly enjoying spending time with Yang. Not just helping her train, but just listening to her talk, or watching her work. She was trying to find more opportunities to have moments like that, where they could just relax together.
It made Neo a little self-conscious...but it's not like Yang had to know.
[Right. How are you feeling?]
Yang groaned and leaned back against the headboard.
"Tired. I feel tired most days."
Neo felt a faint smile cross her face.
[Is that good?]
"It means I'm getting stronger, so...yes."
[You are getting stronger, I can tell]
Yang sighed and rubbed at her right shoulder.
"Thanks, Neo."
[But how are you doing? Still frustrated with the arm?]
Yang glanced at the mechanical arm's resting place on her shelf. She pursed her lips.
"It's not so much the arm as...well…"
She trailed off, and Neo leaned forwards to put her hand on Yang's shoulder. She felt Yang flinch almost imperceptibly beneath her touch, then after a second, she relaxed.
[You can talk to me, Yang.]
Yang drew her hand across her eyes.
"Thanks, Neo…"
She let out a shuddering breath and looked up again. Neo gave her a gentle smile.
"No matter what I do...I'll always have this...reminder of what I did," she said, reaching up to grip her shoulder, "Of my stupid mistake."
Neo swallowed. Her hand remained on Yang's right shoulder, inches from Yang's hand. She could reach out and take her hand, twine their fingers together to give her some comfort…
Instead, she sat back in her chair, once again drawing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs.
"You know what I think when I see it?" she whispered. Yang looked up at her, her eyebrows furrowed.
"What?"
"I see a girl who was willing to give everything for someone she cared about."
Yang shook her head.
"Not that it helped."
"I don't think it matters whether you succeeded or not. What matters is that you did it at all," Neo said, her eyes fixed on the ground, "I was willing to kill for Roman. I did kill for him - a lot. But killing is easy for me. You can kill for someone all you want. But you can only die for them once."
She thought she heard a touch of bitterness creeping into her own voice. Would she have been willing to die for Roman? Would he have done the same for her? All Neo knew for certain was that she would never be able to find out.
Neo was fascinated by Yang's selflessness, almost to the point of envy. Neo hadn't met anyone as kind and compassionate as Yang before - in her line of work, such people were nonexistent, and Roman had often thought of them as suckers, to be mocked or exploited. But Yang...after everything she had done for Neo, it was impossible not to admire her warmth, her generosity. Neo wanted that - to be the subject of that selflessness. She wanted…
I don't know what I want.
"Neo, do you really mean that?" Yang asked, her voice quiet. Her lavender eyes were fixed on Neo's, glistening with tears.
"I do," Neo replied.
Yang blinked and smiled at Neo.
"Thank you."
As Yang wiped away a tear, Neo felt a stab of guilt. She'd come here to talk to Yang, to spend time with her, not to dredge up more of her guilt.
Neo shook her head and raised her Scroll.
[Sorry. I brought down the mood. Let's talk about something else.]
Yang opened her mouth to say something, then shrugged and gave Neo a relaxed grin.
"Alright. What do you want to talk about?"
Neo shifted in her chair uncomfortably. She was afraid that Yang would think her request was stupid.
"Come on, you can tell me," Yang said with a gentle laugh.
[Can you tell me stories about Beacon?]
There was a brief moment of silence, during which Neo blushed and prepared to stammer out an explanation, when Yang flashed her a toothy grin.
"Yeah, sure. Want to hear about the best food fight of all time?"
/
Neo lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling. For the past few days, she'd been having trouble sleeping, and when she'd finally managed it, her sleep was troubled by nightmares. Mainly it was the same dream, the one where she killed Yang. Every time, she would bolt upright in bed, gasping for breath.
And once she'd calm down, the questions would flood her mind.
What's wrong with me? I apologized, right? So why does it still bother me?
At first she had pushed them away, but after lying awake in bed for a while they always came creeping back. And even when she turned them over in her head, the answers never came.
She truly did regret trying to kill Yang, but still the nightmares persisted. Sometimes she dreamed about the other people she'd killed, though she barely remembered their faces. The first people she had killed...she remembered them. That was when it still bothered her. Before she learned to look out for herself first.
But you're not looking out for yourself anymore.
The thought came unbidden, creeping in from the back of her mind. Neo had been alone for a long time, both before and after she met Roman, but somehow she'd never gotten used to being alone with her thoughts.
Neo wanted to stay with Yang. Every bit of compassion, friendliness…affection that Yang had showed her...Neo wanted more of that. But she knew that at the back of her mind, Yang would always think of her as a murderer. How could someone as good-hearted as Yang ever care for a murderer? Once the thought would have made Neo angry and defensive, but now it only made her afraid.
Neo sat up and looked towards the closet, where Roman's hat was hidden. She sighed.
"At least you cared about me," she whispered. That was true, at least. Roman had helped her, protected her, taught her so much...but then she thought about how he had tried to kill Yang. It hurt to admit it, but she wouldn't have cared then if he had succeeded. Now...she was just glad she didn't have to choose sides.
Maybe Yang was right. Just because Roman had helped, didn't mean he hadn't done...a lot of bad things.
Maybe it's the same for you, came another creeping thought.
Neo flopped back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. The moon had come out and was reflecting off the snow, casting rays of silvery light through her blinds.
You hurt more people than just Yang. You just never had the chance to regret it.
It would be a long night.