So I just realised that last line was a direct quote from Loki in Thor 2. Have another chapter my lovelies, but be warned the next chapter is the M one. I spent forever trying to decide whether or not it was truly necessary to the plot, and in the end it was. So, hope you enjoy...
'Two days time.' I thought to myself, standing in the kitchenette, mixing up a basic tea. Loki's minion – Eric Selvig, esteemed astrophysicist – had brought in supplies for dinner and the news that the tesseract portal would bring the downfall of humanity in two days time. It all seemed to be moving quickly – not that I minded the downfall of S.H.I.E.L.D. arriving so soon. I sighed as I leant against the bench; nursing a glass to my chest as I thought about the life I left behind. Don't think for a moment that I missed it, oh no, instead I was thinking of all the freedom I didn't have, of all the things I was made to do in the line of duty. Duty to S.H.I.E.L.D. and duty to my country, they told me. Though I often wondered if I owed duty to a country. They seemed to think I did, but I was a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, born and bred, I didn't belong anywhere. All they required of me was to go out into the line of fire to stop these people who I was told were bad. I thought of all the little scars that marred my body, acquired doing S.H.I.E.L.D.'s bidding, and of all the lies I'd been told.
I'd been led to believe S.H.I.E.L.D.'s enemies were enemies to everyone – drug runners, mob bosses, people in positions of power. Siding with Loki, who had reasons, who had a cause he wanted to fight for, it triggered my memory back to my eighth mission.
The job was simple, sneak into the warehouse, disable the bodyguards and assassinate Rob Fenrey. After that was complete, I was to radio Agent Lindsay to burn the building to the ground.
Rob Fenrey was one of the biggest drug traders in Europe, passing off not only dangerous drugs available to all the drug runners and partygoers, but also an exclusive, addicting, and dangerous drug he had created himself; Spindle. I'd been on this case for weeks, slowly tracking him down, assuring he was the only one who knew the full recipe of this deadly drug – so that when he was gone, all access to the formula would be lost. I'd even had to pose as one of the empty-headed girls in the brothel Rob Fenrey visited often.
I paused behind a crate of god-knows-what and shuddered, pushing the memory of his hands touching me out of my head.
As the first bodyguard came into sight I frowned. I only had to disable them, though sadly that meant a few casualties along the way. I'd already knocked out six of the seven – this was the last guard. And he certainly wasn't doing a good job of it.
The man sat on the floor near the stairs that led to Fenrey's office, examining something in his hand. He could barely even be called a man – he looked to be only a few years older than myself. I moved up behind him on silent feet, lifting my blade. It was reversed in my hand, so that I could knock him out with the pommel, catching his limp body before continuing to sneak to the next target.
If only that was how it had happened.
I gulped back the rest of my drink as I remember the blood on my hands that night. Remembering as curiosity got the better of me, and I opened the young mans hand to see what had distracted him from his duty. The black hole that seemed to open in my stomach as a picture of a woman and a young child – not even a toddler was revealed, now stained in the blood of the dead bodyguard.
Not everyone S.H.I.E.L.D. had targeted for me was bad. Some of them had families, had lives. I'd snatched too many away.
I plated up my dinner – neither Loki nor Selvig had wanted food – and perched on a barstool staring at my plate. I didn't know if I felt like eating anymore either. I had poured myself a second drink while I had served, drinking that back almost as quickly as the first, the smell of alcohol bringing Loki in curiously. Now I watched him stand by the large windows of the apartment, holding a glass, which seemed small in his large hands. The pleasant buzzing in my head told me that those glasses weren't as small as Loki's size led me to believe.
I ate my dinner slowly, more than a little shocked at the triggered memory. I mechanically went through the motions of washing my dishes and having a third drink before my exhaustion caught up to me.
Automatically, I headed for the bedroom before stopping. There was only one bed in this apartment.
'So that's what Selvig was meaning earlier.' My brain registered, snapping back to the stairwell. My face coloured as I realised Loki had declined the extra room.
"I was thinking of going to bed." I announced, standing halfway to the bedroom door still. Loki turned, regarding my slightly coloured face.
"Are you asking permission?" he sounded thoroughly amused.
"No, I couldn't help but notice we have only one bed in here." I tried to keep my embarrassment from my face.
"Is that a problem, my dear?" he stalked towards my position, reminiscent of a predator – which meant I was prey.
"I hope you didn't expect me to take a couch." I frowned at the tall god.
"I had no intention of such a thing." He stepped closer again, leaning down to whisper in my ear, his breath caressing my neck. "Is it a problem, my dear? Have you never been close to a man before?"
My breathing had become slightly ragged at the proximity of Loki. "I have." I told him shortly, turning away. "But I did intend on going to sleep. If you don't want to sleep now – if you even sleep at all – fine, join me later by all means." I tried to stalk haughtily to the bedroom, but the alcohol in my system impeded that slightly. I shut the bedroom door firmly behind me and had just started stripping out of my S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform when I heard the door open and close quietly behind me.
Loki walked up behind me, resting his hands on my hips, leaning down to whisper in my ear again. "Come now, my dear, you wouldn't want to shut me out of the bedroom we will share tonight? Even though I am a god, I do sleep as you mortals do."
I could feel his cold armour brushing against my bare back, as he stood close behind me. Involuntarily I shivered under his hands. His face was against my hair, and I felt it twist into a smirk.
"Already stripping for your god, darling." His hands on my hips tightened, but I pulled away, turning to face him as I crossed my arms in front of my bra.
"I'm not stripping for you, I'm getting undressed for bed. And you are not my god, just as I'm not your anything."
He closed the distance I'd just put between us with a single purposeful stride. "That is where you are wrong, little kitten."
His face was extremely close to mine now, his green eyes hot, bearing into mine. Before I had a chance to make a witty retort, or step away, his lips crashed down to mine, his hand knotting in my hair, pulling me into him. His mouth was warm, and tender against mine, but his actions were firm and demanding. Loki knew what he wanted and he intended to take it, as was his way.
Right now, it didn't seem such a bad idea to give him what he wanted.
His lips left mine and I gasped slightly, staring up at him. I felt like I'd just had my air cut off – that air that was Loki kissing me, pulling me against him. Feeling needed, and wanted.
I'd never had a kiss like it. I'd never had someone hold me with such passion. I wanted more. I needed more.
Loki smirked.