Chapter 15
Raven awoke the next morning feeling the best she had in days. She felt refreshed, energetic, and ready to tackle whatever came her way now that she had resolved her dilemma with Trigon.
She didn't realize, however, that what would come her way next was more party-planning.
That morning in the common room, the Titans (minus Robin, who everyone presumed was still in the evidence room) were all engaged in a very heated game of cards.
As she very rarely did, Raven decided to join in. Her elevated mood led her to decide that a little time with her friends would be a great idea. It was, until a comment of Starfire's brought the torrent of irritation over her birthday party back.
"Friends, I am expecting a large package for the planning of Raven's celebration. Please, keep out the eye for it." She laid down her next card, failing to realize how that would distract the two boys.
"Uh, oh," Cyborg said, turning towards his green partner. "That's next Friday, right? Dang, I forgot all about it!"
"I fear Robin has as well," Starfire sighed. "He has not yet left the room of evidence since our return."
"Yeah, well he better hurry up and get with the program!" Beast Boy exclaimed. "How are we going to do this thing in less than a week?"
Raven listened to their conversation silently. Great, she thought, just what I needed: my team reenergized about this stupid party.
She tossed her cards on the table and propped her chin on her hand as they droned on. The game was forgotten; they had moved on to bigger and less desirable things.
Raven cleared her throat loudly, but they didn't hear her. Or they ignored her. Whatever the case, Raven figured her time with the team was up. She rose to return to her room.
"Raven!" Beast Boy called from behind her as she moved up the stairs. She turned and raised an eyebrow. "We really have to get going on the food and drinks for the party," he said quietly, not wanting the others to overhear him.
"Correction: you have to get going. We agreed I would help, but it's your responsibility."
"Okay, okay well now I'm going and I need help!"
He sounded desperate. Raven sighed. "What do you want me to do?"
"I've got a few recipes I need to try out today. I'm going to the grocery store, but I'll be back at one. Meet me in the kitchen."
Raven's brow furrowed. "Aren't we getting it catered?"
"Well, yeah, but I want to try out the recipes first to tell them exactly what to make."
Raven had never had anything to do with a caterer or really even a party for that matter. It sounded fishy to her, but who was she to argue?
"Fine," she conceded as she disappeared through the double doors, "I'll see you at one."
Raven took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she entered the common room. Beast Boy was in the kitchen, taking food and kitchen implements out of grocery bags that littered the counter.
"Hey!" he called as he noticed her arrival. "Right on time!"
"I'm just so eager to begin," she said with an eye-roll.
"Oh, you will be once we get started!" He radiated excitement, and Raven couldn't help but catch some of his spirit.
"So, where do I start?"
"Help me take this stuff out of the bags and put the cold stuff in the fridge until we need it. Then wash your hands." He moved through the bags as he spoke, pulling out a large variety of ingredients and implements.
"Do we really need all of this stuff?" Raven asked, picking up something that looked like a giant syringe.
"Yes, we do." He started to speak in a French accent. "Today ve vill be cooking food of ze highest caliber." He stopped when he noticed Raven's sour face. "What? That bad?"
"I think my ears are about to start bleeding."
"Yeah, yeah, very funny." Raven moved to the sink to wash her hands. With her back turned towards him, she couldn't help but smile as he continued. "So here's what I'm thinking. Sushi, for sure, because everyone loves sushi and this is California. And it's bite-size and easy to eat. Oh, and I have this amazing recipe for a Rainbow roll..." She didn't really pay attention to what he said, but his enthusiasm was charming.
She shook her head. He really is something else...
"What? No on the bruschetta?" Apparently he had noticed her movements.
"No, I think the bruschetta is fine. I'm impressed you even pronounced that correctly," she added teasingly.
"Vat? Do you not remember zat I speak French?" he asked in that horrible accent.
"Stop that," she chastised. "And bruschetta is Italian."
"Oh. Well, wherever it's from, we're serving it here!" Raven dried her hands on the towel by the sink, then went to join him. "By the way, I picked up a little present for you!" From the tone of his voice, Raven could tell she wasn't going to like it. He pulled something out of the last bag and held it up in front of her. "Ta-da!"
It was a purple apron, complete with lace trim and ties around the neck and back. She stared at it for a moment. "No way."
"Hey, you could get something on your leotard if you don't wear it."
"I have others."
"Come on, Raven, I even got a matching one for myself!" He pulled out another, manlier version and began to tie it around himself. "I said I was going to teach you how to cook and this is part of the process."
She rolled her eyes but snatched the garment from him, frowning contemptuously as she tied it around her waist. "Happy?"
"Very." He adverted his eyes as his face reddened slightly. Odd, she thought as she studied him.
"Okay, what are we making first?" she asked.
"Well, I'd say let's start with the gougères," he replied smoothly. She stared at him again.
"You got all of this stuff off of the internet, didn't you?" She let her eyes bore into him, encouraging a truthful answer.
"No!" he said defensively. She made her gaze even more intense, to which he picked up a book off of the counter and held it out.
"Fancy Hors d'Oeuvres at Home," she read from the cover. Yep, that explains things. "Alright, master chef, what is a 'gougère?'"
"A gougère is a french cheese puff: they're little balls of pastry with cheese in the dough. Fancy-sounding, huh?" He beamed with pride at his selection.
"Uh-huh," Raven replied, watching as he started clearing a space on the counter.
"Alright, Raven, I need the milk, butter, salt, bread flour—it says what kind on the front of the bag," he supplied as she scrambled to find what he wanted, "five eggs, pepper, nutmeg, and the shredded Gruyère cheese... over there," he said, pointing. Raven used her powers to line the things up in front of him. She had trouble finding the nutmeg. It was like a "Where's Waldo?" puzzle looking for anything in the sea of materials that covered the counter. Raven was fed up.
"Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" she chanted, ignoring Beast Boy's shouts of "what are you doing?!"
All of the stuff on the countertop levitated into the air, floating above them until Raven determined they were of use. That's better, she sighed, gaining a peaceful feeling as the clutter dissipated. She found the nutmeg and put it in line with the rest of the ingredients. She caught Beast Boy out of the corner of her eye laughing.
"What?" she ground out.
"You. You're something else, you know that?" Funny. She had just been thinking the same thing about him. "Alright, turn the stove on and get cracking. Literally. I need you to crack five of those eggs."
"Wait a minute, you're using real eggs?" Raven smirked.
"Yeah, well, you win some and you loose some. Cyborg said I had to," he admitted. "I'm a little more lenient about animal products because it doesn't do too much harm to them. But you better believe these are local, organic eggs from free-range hens!"
He set a bowl in front of her after she placed a pot on the heated burner. "Crack them into here and whisk them." He moved his attention to the stove, leaving Raven to her own devices.
She picked up an egg. It was brown with little spots all over it. Crack the egg, Raven, she told herself, trying to build her confidence. She had to admit, Beast Boy could mop the floor with her in the kitchen. She would not ask him for further instruction.
She knew that she needed to "crack" the egg shell so that the stuff inside would go into the bowl. She doubted that the shell tasted very good. However, how to go about the task was the real dilemma. She turned the egg over and over in her hand, feeling it's cool smoothness.
Ok, Raven, three, two, one... She thrust her thumb up into the side of the egg in the hopes of creating a hole to drain the insides into the bowl. Instead, the whole shell crumbled in her hands, depositing not only the gooey, eggy insides but half of the shell as well. Raven stiffened as she stared down at her mess. Definitely not what I was going for. She had overestimated the strength of the eggshell.
She turned her head stealthily to see if Beast Boy had been watching. He seemed immersed in what he was doing. Good, she thought, I have a few seconds to fix this. She used her black energy to pick up each fragment of eggshell out of the bowl, moving them all to the trashcan. The egg goo was in the bowl as if she had cracked it perfectly. Thank God for telekinesis.
She used her powers to move the remaining four eggs above the bowl, remove a chunk of the shell from the sides, and let them drain into the bowl, shell-free. As soon as she was satisfied with the result, the empty shells found their way to the trashcan.
Now all she had to do was figure out what the hell "whisking" was.
She knew what the English definition of the word meant; to whisk something was to move it quickly or nimbly. How that applied to cooking, she did not know. She stared down at the bowl, studying its contents. The liquid was mostly clear, but had little circles of yellow mass floating in it. An idea hit Raven.
I must have to get those yellow things out! Raven thought excitedly. "Whisk" them away! There's no way you want to leave those things in there.
Proud of her problem solving, she reached into the drawer below her and produced a metal spoon. She stuck it into the bowl and neared the first dot of yellow. She positioned the spoon under it, ready to scoop it to the surface, but as she brought the spoon up the yellow leaked over the sides, melting into the clear liquid as if it too was not solid. Raven huffed in exasperation. Fantastic! she thought. Not even my powers can separate that out of there now! She tried again on another dot, finding the same result. Maybe that's what the syringe was for...
A voice came from behind her.
"Uh, what are you doing?" It was Beast Boy, of course, and he sounded on the verge of laughter.
"Whisking the egg. Or at least I was trying to. I have to start all over again, don't I?" she sighed. That sent him over the edge. He started laughing at her like she had just done something hilarious.
"What did I do?" she asked defensively.
"This," he said, procuring some sort of metal wire contraption, "is a whisk. You use it to whisk, or stir, the egg yolk—that's the yellow part—with the egg whites."
He handed the contraption to her and she turned towards the bowl indignantly, plunging the whisk into the egg mixture and stirring it around.
"You really have no clue what you're doing, do you?" he asked. "You don't even know what an egg looks like. Have you ever seen ingredients before they're made into food?"
"No," she answered hotly, continuing to stir. The yellow blended with the white into a nice, creamy color. "I have no reason to cook."
"I guess not," Beast Boy replied with a chuckle, mercifully returning to his work. Raven was thoroughly embarrassed. I feel like Starfire, she thought.
After a few minutes of silence, Beast Boy turned back to her. "Ready with those eggs?" She held out the bowl. "Ah, ah, ah, you're going to add them." Raven opened her mouth to protest, but Beast Boy cut her off. "It's easy, I promise. I'm going to stir the mixture while you slowly add the eggs. Just pour a little at a time," he said in an encouraging voice.
She came over towards the stove and positioned the bowl over the pot. She looked down into it to discover some kind of dough.
Beast Boy moved in to stand beside her, returning his wooden spoon to the pot. They stood shoulder to shoulder, Raven pouring while Beast Boy stirred.
"That's good... a little slower... perfect!" He beamed down at her as she followed his instructions. She returned the smile, glad to finally be doing something right. When they were finished, Beast Boy added the cheese and turned the stove off, moving the pot to a different burner.
"Well, that was interesting." Raven stared at their creation. "How are people supposed to eat that?"
Beast Boy simply stared at her for a few seconds. Then he burst into laughter so intense she thought he would fall on the floor. Her face reddened and she scowled at him.
"I'm... sorry... you're just so clueless!" he said, gasping for air. That only angered her further.
"Well I'm sorry I'm not a professional chef, Beast Boy, but some of us have better things to do!" She shouted. Suddenly, the plethora of floating ingredients above their heads came crashing to the ground, bursting as her powers tore them to shreds. Raven covered her head with her hands as the food rained down.
When she looked up, the kitchen was covered. There was an explosion of colors, textures, and consistencies smeared on top of the counter, the floor, and all over Beast Boy. She looked down at herself, only to find she was covered as well.
Beast Boy looked around the room, then at Raven. "Well, looks like I bought those aprons for nothing."
Raven started giggling. She didn't know what came over her. Maybe it was the ridiculousness of the situation. She was standing in a kitchen, wearing a freaking apron, covered in sauces, liquids, and smashed produce like she had been swimming in them. After she had just been cooking. Her giggles turned into full-on laughter as Beast Boy joined in. She was turning hysterical, and soon tears were falling from her cheeks as she gasped for air.
What's wrong with me? Everything had gone so wrong. She couldn't even control herself for thirty minutes. She slumped to the floor as her hysteria died down and Beast Boy followed her, sliding down to sit with his back against a cabinet.
"Hey," he said gently, "what's wrong? This?" he asked, gesturing to the mess around them. "I can clean this. This kind of stuff happens."
She looked at him incredulously. "No it doesn't," she sniffed. "It only happens to me. I'm sorry Beast Boy, I've ruined—"
"Stop it," he said firmly. "You haven't ruined anything. I find this entire experience hilarious."
"Yeah," she sighed, recovering slightly from her breakdown. "Hilarious. Have fun washing the eggs out of your hair."
He chuckled, then a mischievous look came over his features. He reached down to the floor, running his finger through a pile of sour cream, then, before she knew what was happening, he smeared it all over her nose.
Her eyes widened as she processed his actions. Does he think he wants a food fight? Raven thought, eyes narrowing. Because he doesn't know what he's getting himself into.
She reached out with her powers, grabbing the container of milk from the counter. His face fell as he realized her intensions. Raven saw his mind calculating, his fight or flight response kicking in.
He chose flight. He darted from behind the counter towards the living room, Raven's floating milk chasing after him. "That's cheating!" he yelled as he sprinted behind the couch.
"What's cheating?" Raven asked innocently as the milk poured all over his side. "I didn't know there were any rules in a food fight."
He stood to his full height confidently, energy playing in his eyes. "If that's the way you want to play, it's on."
Beast Boy changed into a cheetah, running towards the kitchen at blinding speed. The next thing Raven knew he was in his human form, hand in the gougerè. He took a heaping handful of the gooey mixture and drew his arm back, poised to fire.
"Beast Boy," she said, backing up slowly with her hands out in front of her. "Let's be reasonable."
"Sorry," he replied. "There are no rules in a food fight." He flung the dough at her as she ducked, but it still hit her in the shoulder. He continued to pelt her with dough. She was hit in the back, on legs, on the stomach—his last handful of dough even hit her on her butt as she tried to flee from his attack.
"Alright!" he shouted. "Right on the ass!"
Raven turned, belligerent at his crass exclamation. He would have to pay for that. She looked at the floor to see what she had to work with, then raced towards the fridge with an idea in mind. She threw open the door, pulling out a package of Cyborg's bacon.
Beast Boy gasped. "You wouldn't!" he cried.
"Oh, I would," she replied with a devilish grin. She ripped a hole in the plastic packaging and took out a handful of the raw bacon, flinging it at Beast Boy. It spread out buck-shot style, a couple of pieces finding their moving target.
"I've been hit!" Beast Boy yelled as he tried to take refuge under the kitchen table. "I've been hit by flying bacon!"
"Serves you right for starting this!" Raven shouted as she sprinted after him, shooting handful after handful of the slimy meat at him.
They went full circle to the kitchen once again, where Beast Boy dove for the fridge. He yanked the door open, pulled out three two-liters of coke, and cut the tops off of them with one clawed finger. Raven was confused as to what he was doing until he transformed into an elephant.
He sucked the soda down in seconds through his trunk, aiming the long tube at her. She froze, her eyes widening. She stood that way for what felt like an eternity, until he took in a deep breath and blew.
Raven closed her eyes as she was showered in coke. "BEAST BOY!" she yelled, but he wouldn't cease the stream. She took a gasping breath and realized she was laughing. "Beast Boy stop it! Stop it!" she laughed, holding up her arms to try and shield her face. He finally ran out of coke and let out a triumphant trumpet.
At that moment, the doors to the common room slid open, and Robin came racing in. He froze at the top of the stairs, gaping at his two teammates and at the state of the common room.
Raven didn't move a muscle. She turned only her eyes to look at Beast Boy, who she noted was back in human form. They had been caught red-handed.
Robin opened his mouth, then closed it. Then opened it again, and closed it again. He turned on his heel and marched from the common room without a word.
As soon as the door closed, Raven heard stifled laughter coming from the kitchen. She pursed her lips, trying to contain her own laughter. When she locked eyes with Beast Boy, they both lost it.
She made her way back to the kitchen, and they both slumped once again on the floor, giggling like two little schoolgirls.
"I've gotta say Raven," Beast Boy said to her with a smile. "I never in a million years thought I would be sitting on the kitchen floor with you, covered in the contents of our refrigerator, laughing hysterically about a food fight."
Raven shook her head. "Neither did I, Beast Boy. Neither did I."
AN: So, um, this one's a little out of character. However, I just couldn't resist letting Raven have some fun. :) Thank you so much for reading!
XOXO Gwen