Neo sat on the porch railing, one leg tucked up against her chest, the other dangling over the side. She kicked it slowly, letting it swing back and forth as she stewed in her thoughts.
She and Yang had barely spoken all day. After their last sparring match the evening before...Neo just felt uncomfortable. She needed to get through to Yang, but it seemed the only way she could do that was by simply being as awful as she could, until Yang finally snapped and took her anger out on Neo. That...was not exactly good for Neo. She didn't want to hurt Yang, even if it was for her own good. But she couldn't think of another way.
Neo's head snapped up as she heard heavy wingbeats. A raven circled overhead, then wheeled off towards the west, where the sun was sinking behind a heavy cloudbank. The grey mountain had been piling up, threatening a heavy snowstorm, the last desperate gasp of winter before it gave way to spring. Neo quickly lost sight of the raven, a black speck in the darkening sky.
Neo sighed. She wanted Yang to be happy and strong, but the poor girl was convinced that she was broken. Neo refused to believe that. The mere fact that Yang was able to get out of bed in the morning every day, considering where she was when Neo had found her...that showed how strong she was, and how determined.
Their first meeting seemed a lifetime ago. Neo had changed since then. She never would have imagined she could care so much for a person who wasn't Roman...or that caring for a person could hurt so much. Neo just wanted Yang to see herself the way Neo saw her.
Neo's thoughts were broken as the front door opened and Yang stepped out on the porch, weapons ready. Neo gave her a shy smile, even in the darkening winter evening Yang seemed to shine. The blonde, though, kept a stern face, nodding once, and stiffly, before she spoke.
"Hey, it's getting dark. You want to get one bout of sparring practice in before nightfall?"
Neo, swallowed. This was going to be the time she broke through to Yang, she was sure of it. She had to make it happen. She swung her legs down from the railing and dropped to the ground.
"Sure. Let's go."
/
"You remember the rules?" Neo asked, her whispery voice drifting between the trees as she led Yang towards the clearing they had been using for sparring. Yang rolled her eyes.
"Course I do. One hit on you, that's all."
"We're adding another rule today. We go until your Aura breaks."
Yang paused in her stride momentarily, then steeled herself and pressed forward, fists clenched.
"Let's do it, then," she snarled.
"Gladly," Neo replied, and with that she turned and sprinted off into the woods, snow flying up around her feet. Yang stood there for half a second, gobsmacked, then she took off after Neo.
"Hey!"
Neo's giggle sounded out through the forest.
"No one said I had to stand there and make it easy for you!"
Yang lost sight of Neo in the trees and immediately skidded to a halt. This was exactly the kind of strategy Neo would use to surprise her. Proud that she had caught on, Yang brought up her guard and moved carefully through the forest, ducking around tree trunks, wary for any sign of her opponent.
As if from nowhere, Neo appeared from behind a snow-laden oak and aimed a kick at her. Yang, spun around quickly and blocked it, then stepped back and fired, the round gouging a chunk of wood from the tree and forcing Neo to drop back as well. Yang pressed her advantage, only for Neo to vanish into thin air.
Yang brought up her guard again, pressing her back against a tree. She had to think, what would Neo use to get the drop on her?
Drop. The trees!
Yang darted forward, spinning around and firing her gauntlet off into the snow-laden tree branches above her. A shower of snow cascaded down around her, but it only served to mask Neo's descent. Yang felt the smaller girl land hard on her back, heavy boots striking her head and the back of her neck. They both hit the ground, Yang feeling snow stick in her hair and find its way into her clothes. She rolled away quickly and sprang upright, and found herself face-to-face with Neo.
For a moment they were both stock-still, sizing each other up and blinking melted snow out of their eyes. The sun had sunk lower behind the piled-up clouds, and the shadows had lengthened. The forest was plunged into an early twilight gloom.
"Guess we should make this quick," Neo whispered, that same damn smirk on her face.
Watch yourself, Yang, she's done this before...
Yang pivoted quickly, catching a glimpse of flying snow to her left, as the Neo in front of her disappeared. Yang felt a bit of pride that she had caught it so quickly - but when she fired Ember Celica at where she thought Neo was, she instead felt Neo's boot slam into her chin. Stunned, she was barely able to bring up her arm to block the next attack, but she was a fraction of a second too late - Neo's boot connected with her stomach, and she once again found herself planted on her back in the cold, wet snow. She tried rolling again, but again Neo planted her boot on Yang's stomach, knocking the air out of her. Then, she stepped back.
"Come, on get up. Otherwise I'll just be beating you until your Aura breaks," Neo said. Yang saw red creeping into the edges of her vision. Damn it, Neo was just toying with her now!
She surged to her feet and caught her breath, while Neo moved carefully in a wide circle around her, swinging her parasol. Yang realized that Neo hadn't even bothered to use her weapon in this fight.
Don't go easy on me, please, Yang thought desperately. She needed an enemy to fight, to direct her rage against. It was the disconnect in her mind again, she wanted to fight the old Neo, but the new one was still here, if only she could separate them in her mind...
/
She's close, I can tell, Neo thought frantically. Yang just needed something to provoke her, to push her over the edge.
"What's the matter, Yang, afraid to hurt me?" she asked.
"Are you?" Yang replied, "It's not like you haven't done it before!"
The barb stung, but Neo wouldn't let up.
"I've done plenty worse things, Yang..."
"Oh, I'm well aware!" Yang snarled, "You probably could have killed me and never lost any sleep over it!"
"Don't you get it Yang!?", Neo yelled, voice ragged and breaking, "All those people I killed, I enjoyed every minute of it! I never felt more alive than when I was watching the life fade from someone's eyes."
Kablam!
Yang fired both of her gauntlets at the ground, propelling her forwards towards Neo. Neo's heart leapt into her throat as she saw the flames licking around Yang's hair and saw the red fill her eyes.
Icy fear gripped her heart...but at the same time, she couldn't help but feel excitement.
/
Yang didn't even check her pace. To do so would have meant defeat, she needed to close the gap as quickly as possible before Neo could move, or throw up an illusion.
More rage bubbled up inside her, but with it came a sudden clarity. This was no longer Neo, the sweet and gentle girl who had helped her through her darkest days. This was the unrepentant murderer who had almost killed her, her sister, and who knew how many innocents.
She was burning. She felt her rage return, filling her, making her stronger. She rushed forwards, and Neo moved to meet her, parasol ready to block or deflect her blows. This time, though, she was stronger, and faster, and she knew how to fight Neo.
Images flashed through her head with every blow: Emerald Sustrai. Mercury Black. Cinder Fall. Adam Taurus. Adam Taurus! Adam Taurus!
This wasn't about Yang, or how they had hurt her, it was about how they had hurt the people she cared about, the people she loved.
Neo was mixing it up now, relying primarily on kicks to try and catch Yang off guard, but she was moving quickly, blocking every attack in turn and giving as good as she got. With every blow, Neo was forced back a step, no matter if she blocked or deflected it. Her eyes flashed white for a moment, fear momentarily appearing, only to be replaced by determination. Yang's own eyes were blazing red, tinging the whole world a blood scarlet, and it seemed that the twilight woods were lit up by her fiery hair.
She was burning again.
All it took was one punch from her right arm, her robot arm, powered by her rage and pain, connecting with the center of Neo's chest. The girl let out a gasp of pain and surprise before she was sent flying backwards, tumbling into a snowdrift.
Everything stopped suddenly.
She felt incredible. She looked down at her hands as the light from her hair faded, plunging the woods back into darkness. She'd done it! She'd gotten her Semblance back! She'd even landed a hit on Neo-
Oh, right...
Yang turned and saw Neo sitting up in the snowdrift where she had landed, a genuine smile on her face.
Yang was by her side in a second, her right arm wrapped around the smaller girl, propping her up, while she pressed the palm of her good hand to the center of Neo's chest. When she didn't gasp or flinch away, Yang relaxed.
"I'm okay, Yang," Neo whispered. She looked up at Yang and smiled.
"I did it..." Yang said in a hushed tone, and returned Neo's smile.
"You did it!" she said as she wrapped her arms around Yang and hugged her. Yang couldn't bring herself to return the gesture.
"Neo, wait..."
She pulled away from the hug and stood up, brushing snow off her clothes and shivering suddenly. Night had almost completely fallen, and Yang turned around to find the direction of the house again.
"Yang, what's wrong?"
Yang felt a pained expression cross her face.
"Did you mean what you said? About enjoying it?"
"Yang, come on-"
"Did you?"
/
Neo's heart sunk at the coolness in Yang's tone.
"Yang, I...I didn't mean-"
Yang said a single word, clipped and harsh.
"Stop."
Neo swallowed and looked up at the blonde, not sure what she was feeling. She thought it might be shame.
"I don't know why I let this happen. I can't believe I let myself..."
Yang cut herself off, turned on her heel, and threw up her hands.
"I can't believe I let myself forget who you are," she said bitterly. Neo felt a stab of that same feeling. It was pain, a stabbing pain in her chest, that made her want to shrink away. She...she had hurt Yang, and somehow realizing that had made her feel worse than anything.
"Who am I to you?" Neo whispered, her voice barely audible. Yang turned to look over her shoulder.
"You're a murderer. An unrepentant murderer. And I tried to tell myself that you were something else underneath, like helping me would erase what you did before..."
"Yang..."
Neo felt her heart pounding in her chest, this wasn't what she wanted at all! Neo was so terrified by this new feeling. And why wasn't she angry? Why wasn't she getting defensive?
"Maybe I wanted to think that. Maybe I wanted to believe you could be someone else. But how can...how can I love a murderer?"
For half a moment, Neo felt a roaring sound in her ears, she felt like she was falling...then everything stopped. She felt a moment of absolute clarity.
She wanted Yang to love her. She wanted that so badly, and Yang...she probably felt the same way. But the blonde couldn't return those feelings the way Neo wanted her to. Just as she had said, Neo was a murderer...and knowing that hurt Yang more than Neo had understood. There was a brief flare of hope - if Neo could just make it right, maybe they could have a chance - but that was quickly replaced with dread. Yang could never love her. Not while Neo had this blood on her hands.
"Yang...Yang I'm sorry, I..."
Yang wasn't listening. She was making her way to the house in the gathering night, feet crunching in the snow. Neo didn't know what to say.
/
Yang felt sick.
She was a little upset that she had lashed out at Neo, but mostly she was just angry at the little murderer. This wasn't the kind of anger that fueled her Semblance though, this just made her...tired.
Seeing that Neo was upset as well...it hurt, but at the same time Yang felt that Neo needed to realize this. She wished it had been at a different time, and she had said it differently...but it needed to be done.
Yang put one foot in front of the other, passing quickly through the woods and soon coming in sight of the house.
"Yang...wait..."
Yang checked her pace momentarily, but did not stop. That was enough for Neo to scamper after her, eyes downcast.
"Yang...I...I don't know what to say."
"Maybe start with an apology?" Yang asked.
Neo glanced away quickly and began to stammer.
"It's just...I did it because..."
Yang felt righteous anger welling up in her. This was why she couldn't forgive Neo, because she still, after everything, refused to admit that she was wrong. She reached the front door and opened it, throwing a beam of light across the darkened yard. She took a deep breath, turned to face Neo, and sighed.
"You know what I think? I think you're just a scared little girl who inflicts her pain on others because she doesn't know how to deal with it herself."
Neo stopped so quickly it was as if she had been struck. Her eyes turned white, and whatever words she had been about to speak died on her lips. She snapped her mouth shut, and she trembled slightly.
"Neo, I think you need to take a long hard look at yourself, and ask yourself...if you really did enjoy killing people, then why did you go to all the trouble of justifying it?"
Snowflakes were beginning to drift down out of the sky. Some of them stuck in Neo's particolored hair, the same hair Yang had braided just under a week ago. She felt another lump in her throat as she turned to go inside.
/
"Wait...please..."
Neo stepped up on to the porch and slumped against the column that held up the roof. She felt so helpless to convince Yang to just stay, to listen to her. She was so cold, and tired, and overwhelmed by it all...she pulled her coat tighter around her.
To Neo's profound relief, Yang paused in the open doorway. Neo felt her chest tighten. Now...now she only had to find the words to say.
Yang was right. As much as it hurt to hear, Yang was right. Neo had been killing people to forget, to escape the pain she carried with her. She'd created these elaborate justifications, but in the end it had only been so that she could feel a little less alone and afraid.
And it hadn't worked.
She remembered suddenly how every time she had killed someone, the feeling of control and power had quickly faded. No matter how many people she killed, it had never made being alone in the dark any easier. She'd done it purely for that brief moment of satisfaction, that high...all those deaths, and they hadn't even helped her escape that feeling of powerlessness for more than a moment.
She had been lying to herself all this time.
She'd been hurting people - people like Yang. Their fight on the train hadn't been an isolated incident, it had been part of a pattern of destruction. It was Neo's worldview that had nearly killed the woman she now loved, not some series of circumstances outside her control. And if she had grown to regret almost killing Yang, who else could she have regretted killing? All those people she had killed, all to hide from the fact that deep down, she was scared and alone...it was pathetic in hindsight, a facade of confidence, hollow in the end.
"I'm...I never knew..."
There words were impossible to say. She tried to grasp at them, only for them to escape her, even as she felt tears welling up in her eyes.
"Neo?"
Neo let out a shuddering breath and looked pleadingly at Yang.
"I was wrong, Yang. No matter what I told myself...I was always a monster. I never realized just how much I hurt people. I tried to hide from that...but then I met you."
Yang never made her feel alone or afraid. When she was with Yang, she felt warm and safe, like she was wrapped in a thick blanket. Yang, even if she had judged Neo, still only did so because she cared, because she wanted her to be better. All of Neo's fears and doubts vanished when Yang smiled at her.
Neo thought that maybe if she earned Yang's love, she'd never be alone again.
But then...then she thought about how Yang had looked at her when she had talked about enjoying it when she killed people. That look filled her with shame. She couldn't bear to have Yang look at her the same way again. But if Yang truly thought Neo was a murderer...then how could Neo ever earn her love?
How could Yang ever love a monster? she thought.
Yang, so selfless and pure and good, she could never love someone like Neo, someone who killed for the pleasure of it.
Neo felt tears running down her face.
You're a monster...you're a monster and that's why Yang can't love you...
"When I saw how much it hurt you...I couldn't lie to myself any more. I never want to hurt you again, Yang," she said, her voice breaking as she descended into a bout of crying.
/
Whatever anger Yang had felt was long gone. At such an outpouring of grief, it had been replaced with compassion. Neo was hurting so, so deeply, and when Yang had lashed out at her she'd cut uncomfortably close to the truth. What Neo needed, more than anything, was to be comforted.
There wasn't even a doubt in Yang's mind. She would help Neo to heal, just as Neo had helped her. Yang stepped forward to wrap her arms around Neo. Before she could even hold her close, Neo had stepped forward and pressed herself against Yang, wrapping her arms tightly around her. As Yang pulled her in close she realized just how frail the smaller girl seemed. Neo shuddered and buried her face in Yang's chest. As much as Yang had been frustrated with Neo...this was exactly what she wanted to hear. Yang was willing to give Neo a chance, if she was truly remorseful, and if she truly wanted to change. And...Yang believed she was. It wasn't just that she wanted to believe it, she really felt in her gut that Neo wanted to be saved.
"Neo...Neo, you're not a monster. If you were a monster you wouldn't feel guilty," she said soothingly.
Neo whimpered, cleared her throat, and spoke hoarsely.
"Why...why are you still comforting me? Why don't you hate me? After everything-"
"Shhh. Neo, I can't hate you. Not if you feel guilty. You want to change, right?"
Neo's eyes met Yang's, and she saw they were no longer white - instead, they were both a deep brown.
"I do. I want to be better. So that..." she swallowed, "So that I'll never hurt you again."
Yang smiled at her.
"That," Yang said, squeezing Neo gently, "Is why I can't hate you. Because you can be sweet, and caring, and that's how I know there's still good in you."
/
Neo wiped away her tears and looked back at Yang.
"Thank you for giving me a chance, Yang. I won't let you down," she whispered hoarsely. She meant it - she intended to make it up to Yang, every day, with all her might. Then...maybe she could deserve Yang's love.
"Neo. You said you...did those things to forget. So that you could forget being alone and afraid."
"Yes."
"You don't have to worry about that anymore. Because I'm going to help you heal. You don't have to be afraid anymore. I'm here."
"Thank you..."
Neo's heart was pounding in her chest. She was always surprised by the generosity and kindness showed by Yang Xiao Long. Yang's arm was wrapped around her, gentle and comforting, yet at the same time with strength that spoke of protectiveness. Neo wanted to return the embrace - to drape her arms over Yang's shoulder and press herself against the blonde, feel her body against Yang's. She wanted to cling desperately to Yang and never let go.
Neo realized she was tired. Not just because of the effort of pouring her heart out to Yang, or the stress of realizing just how awful her choices had been. She was tired of being afraid. She was tired of lying to herself. She was tired of being alone.
"Neo...let's just go to bed," Yang said, taking Neo's hand.
"Yang?" Neo asked, her voice cutting clear through the silence.
"Yes, Neo?"
"I...I don't want to be alone tonight..."
Yang squeezed Neo's hand. In the warm light streaming out through the door, Neo could see her smile.
"I understand. You can stay with me tonight."
Neo's heart leapt into her throat.
Tonight.
"Thank you," she said, her voice a hoarse whisper. Yang led her by the hand inside, closing the front door behind her.
Neo moved as if she was in a trance. All Neo could think about was how thankful she was...and how much she cared about Yang. This beautiful, compassionate girl who had come into her life so unexpectedly.
Who had changed her by showing her the affection and kindness she'd always craved.
Neo paused at her bedroom door.
"Let me change. I'll be there in a minute."
Yang smiled at her and gave her hand one last squeeze before continuing down the hall.
Neo moved quickly, though she was still shaking from the excitement of the day. As she changed into her sleeping clothes, she glanced at the closet.
She opened it and knelt on the floor, opening her duffel bag and taking out Roman's hat. The tears returned as she held it gently in her hands.
"You...you tried to watch out for me. But you don't have to worry anymore. I have Yang to care for me now."
Neo wiped away her tears, stood up, and left.
She made her way to Yang's room and found the blonde lying in her bed, holding up the edge of the blankets for Neo. For a moment she hesitated. It seemed so strange, so personal, and even though it was everything she wanted, she wasn't sure Yang was comfortable with it.
"I..."
Yang gave her a soft laugh.
"It's fine, really."
Neo's heart practically melted at that sweet, musical voice. She crawled into bed, and before she had a chance to get comfortable Yang's grabbed her with her good arm, pulling her in close.
Neo felt her stomach flip over as Yang's strong arm wrapped around her protectively, as she felt Yang's warm body against hers. She hadn't realized just how numb she was from the cold until she felt the heat from Yang's body pressed against her back.
"You're okay, Neo..." Yang whispered. Neo smiled and reached up to touch Yang's hand.
I love you, she thought. She could say it another time.
She closed her eyes and listened to the sound of Yang's shallow breathing. Neo was so tired...
As she drifted off to sleep, she had one final thought.
She wouldn't have to face the night alone anymore.
/
End of Act II