Chapter 21

Though Raven had said she was going to her room, when she passed the stairwell that led to the roof, she decided some fresh air wouldn't be a bad idea. God knew she needed it.

Raven paced along the edge of the roof, paying no attention to the beautiful weather as she let the wind play with her cloak. Her hands shook slightly as the adrenaline wore off, though her mind remained focused and alert.

Beast Boy just... kissed me, Raven thought. Again.

It had been quite a curve ball. There she was, ready to nip any idea of romance in the bud, and the second he opened his eyes her plans went out the window. Her forced conviction evaporated and her solemn determination vanished. Raven pursed her lips in frustration. It was like her mind was split.

Part of her (the part with the brains, it seemed) screamed at her to stop this now before it went any further. With every step she took, thought she considered, or conversation she had it reminded her of the unfortunate fate that was coming no matter what she did. Raven was a logical person-she wanted to listen to this voice of reason, but when she did it felt like a weight dragging her further into depression.

Then there was the other side, the one that brushed off the future that was coming for a brighter outlook. This one was hopeful, however futile that was, that she could be happy in whatever amount of time she had left. This side didn't accept Beast Boy's kiss; it reveled in it.

The realization hit Raven like a bullet, tearing through her emotions and leaving her head feeling light. She ceased her pacing and collapsed ungracefully to the ground, drawing her legs to her chest. She... liked Beast Boy. She had feelings for Beast Boy. She thought of Beast Boy as more than a friend. She repeated the sentiment over and over as its veracity grew. Raven couldn't deny it any longer, and frankly she didn't want to.

Beast Boy had feelings for her, and she returned them.

Letting go of everything else for a moment, Raven sunk deeper and deeper into the feeling. She felt light and warm and safe. Like despite everything, despite the future and the past, the darkness within her and the blood in her veins, she was happy. It was a bubbly, shining feeling that brought her almost to tears.

Images surged through her head. Beast Boy making her laugh, Beast Boy holding her hand, Beast Boy kissing her and whispering in her ear that no matter what, it was going to be okay. Her heart clenched with a warm, aching feeling that told her she needed him, that she needed those images to be real. Being with him was easy, and it was right.

What wasn't easy was her situation. She could push it down and push it away for a while, but it always crept back. She felt it now, like dark tendrils smothering the light she had discovered. On Friday night she was going to die, and no amount of reassurance could make that okay.

The threat of tears she felt earlier solidified. Things in her life finally felt good. She felt happier than she ever had. And Beast Boy... now everything was going to be taken from her.

Raven didn't even care that she was downing in self-pity; she just allowed herself this one time to cry over how much her life sucked. There just wasn't a more eloquent way to put it.

She drew her legs tighter to her chest and buried her face in them. A few minutes later she was out of tears, anger replaced by a spreading numbness. It had to be this way. She knew that. It didn't make it suck any less, but it was the truth.

That left her with one question she knew she had to answer before she could face Beast Boy: would she let him in?

It seemed pointless to start something with him when it would last only three days. But the idea tempted her. In fact, it tempted her into an entirely new perspective. She only had three days left. Seventy two hours. 4,320 minutes. It wasn't much time at all, and here she was, sitting on the roof alone, wasting it.

She made her decision: she was going to make the most of her time left. For once in her life, she was going to be reckless and selfish.

Filled with resolve, she stood and wiped her eyes, the last traces of sadness gone. She didn't care what was happening in the future. Right now, in this moment, she was going to Beast Boy's room.

Beast Boy paced back as fourth in his room, cursing his hormones and his lack of self control.

Why did I have to kiss her again? he mentally berated himself. It went so well the first time.

The game plan was to take it slow, to gently coax Raven into some form of relationship. But if he knew anything about Raven, it was that she wouldn't come around easily. Sporadically kissing her probably wouldn't help, but he couldn't control himself around her. Every time he saw her he pictured himself holding her, touching her, making her laugh and staring into her eyes as they lit up with happiness. He wanted to be the one to do that for her.

He shook his head. What was it about Raven that turned him into such a sap?

None of it mattered now. God, I'm such an idiot. He would be surprised if she ever talked to him again. He knew how particular she was about her personal space; he was sure she was thrilled about his recent violations of it.

A knock on the door distracted him from his self-depreciating tirade. Beast Boy narrowed his eyes. Who... Cyborg, he determined. He had promised him they'd hang this afternoon before the alarm went off.

He hopped over an overflowing laundry basket and stumbled his way to the door

"Look, I know I said..." he began before registering who was in front of him. It took his brain a few seconds to comprehend that this was not Cyborg. This was the last person he'd expect to find at his door. It was her. Raven.

As slow as his brain was to process that she was there, it came to a pretty quick conclusion about why she was there. Oh shit, he thought. I'm about to get it.

He instantly stiffened, assuming a defensive posture to be ready for whatever choice words she had prepared for him. It had been a half an hour since they left the med bay. If it took her that long to come to him... she's pissed, he deduced.

All the while Raven just stood there, staring at him blankly. Beast Boy took a deep breath, mustering some courage.

"Hey," he said meekly.

Raven continued to stare at him. He was about to say something when he heard a soft, timid "hi" roll off her lips in return.

"So... did you need something?" Hmmm. This was odd. He was expecting pissed. He was braced for pissed. But Raven didn't exude any hints of anger. She seemed strangely nervous. Hope swelled in Beast Boy's chest, but he pushed it down.

"I, um, wanted to ask if it was true. What you said earlier."

Beast boy could only assume she was talking about his admission of affection. With no idea why she was asking this or what her endgame was, he considered her question cautiously. He figured the only thing he could do, however, was tell her the truth.

"Of course it was. Raven, I know you don't return the feeling but you... you fascinate me. I find myself wanting to be around you all the time. You're supposed to be the dark, depressing one around here but somehow, when I'm with you, you make me happy. I don't know, it just feels... right."

He risked a glance at her eyes. She still just stared at him.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out. "I know that sounds stupid."

"It doesn't," he heard her soft voice enunciate.

"What?" he breathed, more out of disbelief than not hearing what she said.

Raven reached up and put her hood down, letting her violet hair swish around her face. Her eyes bore into him, conveying warmth.

"I said it doesn't sound stupid. Not at all."

With two long strides, she closed the distance between them. What she did next Beast Boy never would have seen coming. She tentatively reached her head up to his. Beast Boy didn't need an instruction manual. He knew what to do next.

When their lips met it sent shivers down his spine despite the heat that flushed his face and sank in his stomach.

The first time he did this he was too nervous to notice much. This time he was hyper aware of the girl in front of him. He picked up her rich, deep, but feminine scent, felt the flutter of her heavy lashes against his cheek, and tasted the faint trace of spiced tea on her lips.

She was intoxicating.

The kiss was sweet, light, and brief. Though Beast Boy could have spent hours kissing her, he was too dumbfounded by her forwardness to get greedy.

"Wait a minute, does this mean..." he asked cautiously as they separated.

"It means that you're right." She smiled at him. She was beautiful when she smiled. Each one was rare, so each one was precious. "I'll be honest: I don't understand this. I don't know why you of all people make me feel like this. But being around you feels right." She never broke eye contact, though Beast Boy could tell she was nervous.

Beast Boy felt like jumping, dancing, picking Raven up and spinning her around. He had to will every muscle to stay still. Being with Raven had turned into a secret dream of his, a fantasy that he spent more time thinking about than he should have because the chances of it actually happening were one in a million.

Beast Boy decided he should buy a lottery ticket. Clearly the odds were in his favor today.

"So..." Raven drawled. Beast Boy realized he had been grinning at her like an idiot for the past thirty seconds.

"So you and me," he said smoothly, trying his best to recover, "I guess we're together now."

Raven's smile faded into a look of amusement. She held one brow in a delicate arch. "We are?"

"Well, um, yeah," Beast Boy sputtered in an attempt to backpedal. "You know, if you want to."

Raven smirked. "What are you asking me?"

Beast Boy stood straighter, locked his eyes with hers, and ran over the words in his mind carefully. He felt like they we're in elementary school. "Raven, will you be my girlfriend?"

Raven snickered, a for a horrible moment he thought he screwed something up or that she was only making fun of him this entire time. But he studied her face an the emotion in her eyes and realized she was happy. That this strange, unexpected relationship between them made her happy. Her chuckle died down and she looked at him with soft eyes.

"Beast Boy, I suppose I will."