A/N: Sorry it took me so long! I got sidetracked. Thank you so much for all the feedback. I really appreciate it. This may not take the direction you thought it would, but there will be action, an actual plot, and lots of 'fun' brother moments to look forward to. I have the next chapters written, so I promise to update much, much faster now. Just bear with me through this chapter first, which is admittedly not much fun.
Raphael's own words echoed in his ears, except this time it wasn't in his voice, and it wasn't him leaving.
No one tried to stop Leo. No one even moved until the door to the lair slammed shut. Raph flinched, but Mikey visibly jumped.
Splinter was the next to move as he left the kitchen in a determined stride and headed, not toward the door, but toward his own room.
Mikey finally broke the silence. "Sensei?" he asked in a timid voice that Raph was completely unaccustomed to coming from his loud and over-confident brother.
The old rat stopped suddenly and only turned his head to fix his student with a hard stare.
Mikey hesitated, but continued on. "What do we do now?"
"You are free to make your own choices." Splinter responded, and then continued on his way.
"That was… not helpful." Mike muttered once the three turtles were left alone in the kitchen.
Raph's head was spinning, still thinking about Leo. He'd never seen the eldest turtle snap like that. Raph didn't call him Splinter Jr. for nothing. Both were obnoxiously in control of their emotions and were so perfect in every way, and shoved it down everyone else's throats. It drove him insane. Leo had his weak moments for sure, but never this bad, and he'd definitely never seen the old rat as pissed off as he was.
So for both of them to crack tonight…
"Raph?" There was that nervous tone again. Instead of eliciting sympathy, it just got on Raph's already riled-up nerves.
"What?" He snapped.
Mikey flinched, but then stepped forward, the apprehension gone, replaced suddenly by an almost as rare expression- anger. "Aren't we going to go after him?"
"And why the hell would we do that?" Raph scoffed as he folded his arms over his chest.
Mike's soft blue eyes narrowed into a hard line. "Did you miss that little incident a few weeks ago, Bro? There were some big ugly monsters from another dimension and the stone psychos you let kidnap Leo? Remember that? You stepped up and we all got together to save him, had a nice brady bunch moment and everything was good? Where did that Raph go?"
Raph shrugged imperceptibly, keeping his face set in a scowl. "This is different. He left. Again."
Donny, who had been quietly standing on the sidelines, couldn't take it anymore. "You're unbelievable," He shook his head in apparent disgust.
"What did you say?" Raph growled, turning on him.
Don had only ever confronted Raph a handful of times during his short tenure as leader. The slightest suggestion of violence from Raph had always turned him aside, but not this time. "I said you're an ass." Don said calmly. "Who the hell are you to blame Leo for leaving? Who tried to quit the team over having to take orders?"
"That would be Raph." Mikey quipped.
Raph looked between his two brothers who were staring him down. This was new. Why was he to blame all of a sudden? Wasn't he still there? Hadn't he saved Leo's sorry ass this month already? "I don' have a problem taking orders." Don scoffed, but Raph continued. "I got a problem with self-righteous hypocrites tryin' to tell me what to do. Leo deserves everything he's got."
Don threw up his hands, a look of exasperation on his face. "You hate him for doing the same exact things you think you're so justified in."
"I ain't the one runnin' around preachin' one thing and doin' another." Raph countered.
"Oh you're not?" Don raised an eye-ridge in disbelief, his tone softening as his expression cracked. "For over a year you told everyone here there was no team, and yet you seemed pretty upset at Leo for not being here. Why?" Raph didn't answer, but Don went on, "Then he comes back and you hate him even more. Why?" He repeated. Again, he didn't wait for a response. "Did what he just say to Splinter mean anything to you?"
In truth, that incident was still trying to work itself out in Raph's mind. He didn't know what to think. "He's finally gettin' a taste of his own medicine?"
Don's jaw shifted as he grit his teeth, barely holding his fury while Raph continued to sneer at him. "Forget it." He finally muttered. "Mikey, let's go find him."
Don left, but Mikey lingered, seemingly studying the red-banded turtle. "You were right about one thing." He admitted. "We're not a team. We're brothers- no matter what."
Raph watched his brothers disappear as a sharp pang of guilt stabbed him the chest. Mikey was irritatingly good at creating that response with what remained of his innocence, though after rescuing Leo, Raph could remember spouting off something almost as naïve.
So what had changed?
Raph dragged his hands over his face as he came to the awful realization; Nothing. Nothing had changed. Mikey, little prick that he was, was right. They were still brothers.
The last time he'd ignored that fact, he'd watch Leo get carted away in the back of truck. It didn't matter how much he resented him, hated him, envied him… They were brothers. If he had to fight him in the lair, he would, but they would be together.
Raph stalked past the partially open door of the dojo and caught a glimpse of Splinter sitting in a meditation pose, eyes closed. He almost stopped, but shook his head and continued on. Despite all his challenges to authority, Raph had somehow maintained that their Sensei was infallible. Leo was always left to be the enforcer of his orders, so it was Leo Raph took everything out on. It was Splinter who had sent Leo away, and yet Raph had never blamed him. Raph could try to say it was because Leo had extended his stay far beyond what had been expected, but shouldn't Splinter have seen that coming? What was the logic behind the leader leaving anyways?
For the first time in a long time, he could see where Leo was coming from. That didn't let the fearless leader off the hook, but at least could understand at least partially what had just happened.
Usually Raph was the one to storm off. He needed to be alone to clear his head. That meant he had never seen what Leo did after he left. From his other brothers' descriptions, Leo had usually just let off some steam in the dojo, or meditated. That in itself had always bugged Raph. He didn't understand how Leo could be so damned collected. Half the time he picked on Leo, he was hoping to see the turtle lash out, lose his temper and do something stupid. Raph had come close and caught glimpses of what it might be like, but now that he had finally seen Leo lose it, he didn't really want to see it again. Even at the end of his rope, Leo maintained such an eerie, deathly calm. Raph thought it was a pretty terrifying sight despite himself.
And suddenly Raph knew exactly where to find his brother.