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The McCall Twin

Chapter Eight - Magic Bullet Pt. 2

After we left the school, Stiles drove to only where his Adderall induced brain knows. I wasn't even paying attention. I was watching Sexy, who was currently taking off his jacket. Yes, less layers, easy access!

Stiles still seemed ticked off, but I could care less. He needs to get off the rag, or get some Midol. I mean he's acting if being in a car with Derek is bad. It's actually one of my fantasies. In case you're wondering, I have over two hundred, but keep it hush-hush because when Derek and I get together (which will happen 'cause…? That's right I'm Emily) I want to always keep him surprised. Wink, nudge.

My attention was turned to Stiles as he groaned quietly and threw his arm to the side frustratingly. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Who peed in your Adderall?" I asked putting my head between their shoulders.

"Well, I don't know maybe it's the fact that there's a sick werewolf in my passenger's seat- Hey, try not to bleed on my seats," Stiles said.

"Wow, Stiles, I can feel your compassion," I said rolling my eyes at him. He was overdramatic sometimes. He really needs to get high. "You need to relax, wanna a blunt?"

He sighed and mumbled, "I'm gonna need some if I keep hanging out with you."

I grinned. "Don't worry buddy, I got the hookup."

He shook his head, but smiled then said, "Alright, well we're almost there."

"Where?" Derek and I inquired simultaneously.

No freakin' way… we said something at the same time! Next thing you know we'll be finishing each others sentences. Then picture this we'll be both butt naked banging on the bathroom fl- Oops sorry, I was listening to Shaggy during Spanish. But this is another fantasy, wink!

"Uh, to your house," Stiles' dull answer came.

"No," Derek told him.

Stiles looked appalled. "I can't take you to your own house?"

"That's what he done said." I gotchu Sexy!

They both seemed to ignore me.

"Are you guys ignoring me?" Nothing. "Well! In the words of Stephanie Tanner, how rude!"

Still nothing before Derek explained, "Not while I can't protect myself." I'll protect you, but I'm more off a hands-on kind of girl if you know what I mean. Yes, you're supposed to think wrong children.

Frustrated, Stiles pulled the car over. Ok, I'm making it my mission to drug Stiles up so that nigga could finally relax.

Then he turned to Derek. "What happens if Scott can't find your little magic bullet, huh? Are you dying?" He's getting more balls. That's good, but what isn't, is who he is doing it to. He better recognize and stop talking to Derek like that.

"Not yet," Derek shook his head. YES, I TOLD YOU BLEEPERS! "I have a last resort."

"What do you mean? What last resort?" I had to agree with Stiles. I mean what did Sexy mean?

Derek pulled up his sleeve. Yes less clothing! I thought that until I caught sight of the bullet wound. Holy crap… His whole sexy arm looked like it was decaying and the bullet hole was ginormous and bloody. It looked like a mental period.

Stiles thought the same. "Oh my god, what is that?"

"What the hell did that dirty bitch do to you?" I practically shouted.

"Oh, is that contagious?"

"Is that like an STD?" I'm not afraid of getting it from you though, love.

"You know what, you should probably just get out."

"Doctor McCall will help you!"

"Like anybody sane would give you a job as a doctor."

"What was that? Was that jealously I hear about me being a doctor and you not being one? I believe it is."

"Oh so clever-," Stiles was cut off by Derek, who was sounding sexy as ever, "Start the car. Now."

Gosh, he's so demanding. I can only imagine him in the sack like that. No bad Emily, stop! The way he would grip my body tight- it's happening again! Not that I'm complaining, but I need to focus on the situation and how I'm gon' get the dirty bitch who done did this to MY Derek.

"I don't think you should be barking orders with the way you look," Stiles protested.

I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing. "Oh crap Stiles! That's a good one 'cause," I continued laughing, "'cause he's a werewolf and they bark!"

"Anyways," He said to Sexy, "If I wanted to, I could probably drag your little werewolf ass out in the middle of the road and leave you for dead." Wow, Stiles actually sounded… hot.

Derek retorted, "Start the car, or I'm gonna rip your throat out… with my teeth." So much hotter- no, sexier.

Stiles sat back in his seat and started his Jeep then drove off.

It was quiet before I said, "And the winner is Derek!" And his prize is me! Naked.

Shoot yeah.

-X-

"Well, what am I supposed to do with him?" Stiles asked Scott on his phone.

First, Stiles can leave me and Derek alone, so I can have a proper goodbye.

While he was on the phone, I turned to Derek. "How you holding up?"

"Peachy," he snapped.

"Look, you're gonna be fine. Ok?" I said wanting more than to hug him. It was finally getting to me that he was really bad. Oh my gosh, it's like Heraldo all over again! I almost needed therapy last time. I can't go through this again!

He looked at me. "And you know this because?"

"Because I'm Emily and I know all, duh." He snorted lightly. "So can you feel your diseased arm?"

He gave me a halfhearted glare. "Not as much, but it's affecting my whole body."

"I wanted to be the only one to affect your body…" I muttered almost inaudibly.

Derek's head shot towards me. Wow, that sounded horribly dirty, ha-ha! Anyways, why was he looking at me? Oh dude, he's a wolf which means he can hear me!

Right when I was going to come up with some excuse of what I said Derek leaned closer to me and I stopped breathing. "You know if you didn't irritate me on a daily basis, I might've let you."

Am I dreaming? Did he really just say that? Someone pinch me! Ow! Ok, I just did and I'm awake. This must be the McCall siblings' month.

I was at a loss for words then Derek smirked and I practically lost it.

"I finally got you to shut up, wow."

Before I could regain myself, Stiles handed the phone to my Sexy. "You're not gonna believe where he wants us to take you."

"Did you find it?" Please say yes, twin. I need to get laid by Derek. "Look, if you don't find it then I'm dead, alright?" Nooooo! "Then think about this: the alpha calls you out against your will and he's going to do it again. Next time you either kill with him or you get killed, so if you want to stay alive then you need me." Oh cha, tell him Sexy! "Find the bullet."

Before he hung up, I shouted, "Be careful, twinny-twin!"

"Irritating," Derek mumbled.

Ah, he knows he loves me and wants to do me.

-X-

Stiles unlocked the door as I tried to hold Derek up. He wasn't exactly the lightest. Yeah, I like my men big- all ways.

"Hurry up, Stiles," I said pushing Sexy up, who was currently trying to pull off his shirt. I know, so freakin' smexy. Yes that's right peoples, I found a new adjective.

"Trying, Em, trying," He said as he dropped the key. Again.

"Failing, Stilinski, failing."

"Shut up, I can't focus!"

"It's a hole, Stiles! Just stick it in!" Must…resist…dirty…joke… "How do you expect to get Lydia?"

Hook, line and sinker.

Stiles got the door opened then helped me with Sexy-heavy Derek. Sorry babe. We lead him to the operating table in the back. Smexy took off his shirt and I drooled. Holy crap, I didn't know he had a tattoo. That's hot. Damn Paris Hilton.

Derek put his defected arm on his table and I grimaced. It wasn't the sexiest thing, but I'd still bone fa' sho!

"You know that really doesn't look like anything some Echinacea and a good night sleep could take care of."

I nodded, "Way to think positive, Stiles."

"Right? Props to me."

"Yeah no, you killed it."

"Oh shut up."

"Will you two be quiet?" Derek hissed weakly. "If the infection reaches my heart, it'll kill me."

"We don't want that," I said fast.

"She speaks for herself," I glared at him and he sighed to Derek. "Positivity just isn't in your vocabulary, is it?"

"If he doesn't get here with the bullet in time, last resort." Derek explained.

Stiles and I shared a look. "Which is?"

Sexy held up saw-knife thing. "One of you is going to cut off my arm."

What the flying tuck! I don't want to cut off his sexy arm! What's gonna hold me tight to his rock hard body? Well at least he won't be dead. Gosh if I really do this, I'm gon' need therapy ASAP. But I've watched so many horror movies; I think I could do this. NOT.

Derek set the saw thing on the table and slid it towards us. Stiles and I shared a look. I immediately pushed it to him to which he pushed back. This went on for a while.

"You do it."

"Me? No, you do it!"

"Grow a pair already!"

"No thanks, I'm perfectly content that mine haven't fully developed! You!"

"No, you!"

"You're the one who has the hots for him!"

"Well when I pictured getting it on, I didn't exactly have this in my mind!"

"Surprise, surprise!"

"Oh, I am so not giving hints to Lydia about you!"

"You don't even talk to her!"

"Yeah I do, we talked today and she called me clever and agreed with me on many things!"

"Really!"

"Yeah and now I won't pop your collar for her!"

"Oh come on!"

"Nope!"

"Fine, I'll do it!"

"Winna-winna chicken dinna!"

Stiles grabbed the saw and pressed the button. It made one of those scary noises. Eh, I hate chain saws! Stiles and I shivered at the sound.

"Oh my God," He said and tossed the saw down. "What if you bleed to death?"

"It'll heal if it works," Derek said while he tied a band around his defected arm with his teeth.

"I don't know if I can do this." Stiles said looking really sick.

"Why not?" Derek demanded.

"Well, because the cutting through the flesh, the sawing of the bone, and especially the blood!" Stiles shouted.

Derek threw his good not defected on the table and groaned, "D'you faint at the sight of blood?"

"No, but I might at the sight of a chopped off arm!" Melodramatic-Adderall-taking-Lydia-loving fool.

"Fine, how about this?" Derek suggested. "You cut off my arm, or I cut off your head." His threats are so lovely. He can cut off my head any day.

"You know I'm so not buying your threats any-," Stiles stopped talking as Derek grabbed him with his good arm and pulled him close like he was going to hurt him. Sigh. I wish that was me.

"Oh my god. Ok. Alright. Sold. Totally. I'll do it. Ok. I'll do it." Stiles breathed out, obviously scared shitless.

But suddenly Sexy started coughing badly. He was still holding Stiles and said dude was freaking out. "What? What are you doing?"

"What's going on? Derek?" I asked, but stopped and squealed when I saw him spit out blood.

"Holy God, what the hell is that?" Stiles said looking at Derek.

Though I was thoroughly freaked out, I went up to him and began rubbing his back. I had to ignore how much muscle I felt and how I just wanted to jump him right here and now, bloody and all. Back to what I was saying, it was the same thing my mom did when Scott or I was sick. It really didn't do crap, but it made me feel better.

"It's my body. It's trying to heal itself," Derek explained still bent over the side of the table.

"Well, it's slacking' huh?" I smiled at Sexy, who didn't see the humor. "No? Alright."

I continued to rub his sexy back (Justin Timberlake quote!) and he rasped out, "Now. You got to do it now."

Stiles looked sick. "Look honestly, I don't think I can."

Derek was taking no crap. "Just do it!"

"Come on Stiles, be like Nike!" I encouraged him.

"Oh my God, ok," Stiles said before getting the saw and turning it on.

I closed my eyes and pushed my face into Derek's back.

"Oh God. Alright, here we go!"

I pushed my face deeper then I heard the angels singing. Well, it wasn't exactly singing and it was no angel. It was Scott!

"Stiles? Emily?" Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah!

"Scott?"

"Twin!"

Scott walked in and saw the whole thing. "What the hell are you doing?"

Stiles sighed in relief. "Oh, you just prevented a lifetime of nightmares." And you increased my chances of me getting it on with Smexy Derek.

"Did you get it?" Derek asked and my face rumbled since it was still on his back. I moved away very reluctantly.

Scott pulled the bullet out of his pocket and handed it to Derek.

"What are you gonna do with it?" Stiles asked the million dollar question.

Derek looked delusional as he mumbled incoherent things. Yeah I know big words, suck one! All of a sudden, Derek dropped the bullet and it landed under something and into a vent or drain type thing. Scott shot after it and Stiles and I went to Sexy, who had fallen and was unconscious.

I grabbed his face and shook it. "Come on, butter fingers! Derek, wake up!"

Stiles asked, "Scott, what the hell are we gonna do?"

"I don't know!"

Still slightly shaking Derek, I shouted at Scott, "Hurry up!"

"I'm trying, Em! Give me a second!" Scott replied.

"He's not waking up! I think he's dying! I think he's dead!" Stiles blurted out. NO.

"Scott!" We both shouted.

"Ok just hold on!" Came the frantic reply. "I got it! I got it!" Thank Jebus.

Stiles was still looking at Scott when I took my chance. That's right, it was a bit cliché but everyone loves a classic. I kissed him quick and hard. I wish it was as passionate as the one in my dream, but at least it happened for real. And though he just puked up blood and is all nasty, it was actually nice and I felt that spark you're supposed to feel in those Nicholas Sparks books. His lips were still warm, a bit chapped, but I ain't ever complaining.

I pulled back and watched him. His eyes were fluttering and I couldn't believe that fairytale shit actually worked. But before I could see him officially wake up, I heard Stiles say, "Please, don't kill me for this."

I turned to Stiles just to see his fist slam into Derek's sexy face.

I felt my mouth drop and Stiles cried out, "Ow!"

Derek woke up looking dazed, but said, "Give me."

Scott gave him the bullet. I'm sensing déjà vu.

The boys helped him up and Derek complied. Then he tore the bullet apart with his teeth and dumped the weed-looking stuff on the table. He grabbed a lighter and lit it up. It burned swiftly before dulling. When it was done, Derek scooped it up and smeared it into his wound. I winced as did the rest of us.

Then I felt like my tacos from lunch were coming up when I saw Derek push his finger into it. I could have said that in so many dirty ways, but I refrained myself. Go Emily!

Derek screamed in pain and fell to the floor. My mouth dropped again and I felt myself moving back from him next to twin and Stiles. Then Derek's arm magically healed itself and my eyes widened.

Stiles broke the silence. "That was awesome!"

"Right?" I couldn't help but say.

We high-fived each other. "Yes!"

Derek finally sat up and Scott asked, "You ok?"

"Well except for the agonizing pain," Sexy said sarcastically. Oh, he's back! WOO.

"Guessing the ability to use sarcasm is a good sign of health," Stiles remarked and I smiled widely.

Then Scott spoke up. "Ok, we saved your life which means you're gonna leave us alone, you got that?" Whoa, when did I agree to this? I'm firmly against this! "And if you don't, I'm going to go back to Allison's dad and I'm gonna tell him everything." No, bad Daddy Argent!

"You're gonna trust them?" Nope, not I love! "What? You think they can help you?" I think you can help me if you removed your pants right now.

"Well, why not?" Twin just doesn't get that they are crazy and wanna destroy him. I told you slow. Ha, get it? 'Cause it's originally 'I told you so', but I said slow 'cause Scotty-poo's slow! Woo, funny chick here! "They're a lot freakin' nicer than you are."

Derek glanced at me and I instantly thought back to when Daddy Argent and his band of geeks messed with his car. "Yeah, I can show you exactly how nice they are."

"What do you mean?" Scott asked.

He means he's going to show you, dumbass.

Slow-bleeper-bitch.

-X-

Stiles took us to Derek's car and then he drove us to wherever the place he was going to show how nice the Argents really were. Soon, we arrived at Beacons Crossing Home and I sort of wondered why. What was here?

We all jumped out of his car and walked in the building. We followed Derek as he led us to a room. He opened the door and we sauntered in. I observed the room and saw a man in wheelchair, but he didn't even look like he was alive. He didn't move.

Scott and I looked at each other and then Scott said, "Who is he?"

"My uncle." Sexy-sweetheart said what? "Peter Hale."

"Is he… like you, a werewolf?" Scott inquired.

"He was. Now he's barely even human." Derek explained unemotionally. Poor Sexy. "Six years ago, my sister and I were at school when our house caught on fire. Eleven people were trapped inside. He was the only survivor." My heart goes out to you, love! That's so sad.

Scott asked. "So… what makes you so sure that they set the fire?"

Derek scoffed at this. "'Cause they're the only ones who knew about us."

"Then they had a reason." Stupid, stupid twin.

"'Cause there's so many reasons to burn a house filled with innocent people down." I said sarcastically. "Come on, think Scott."

Derek looked at me then Scott and said, "You tell me what justifies this." Then he turned his uncle around and I saw the other half of his face was completely scarred and mutilated.

My eyes widened as Derek spoke, "They say they'll only kill an adult and only with absolute proof, but there were people in my family that were permanently ordinary in that fire. This is what they do and this is what Allison will do." Sweet Ally?

Abruptly, a shrill voice sounded in the room, "What are you doing? How did you get in here?" I turned and saw a redheaded nurse standing in the doorway. Busted big time yeah!

Derek answered without missing a beat. "We were just leaving." Then he guided me out of the room since I was still shocked at everything.

Everything was silent as Sexy drove us home. It wasn't far, so it took us a few minutes; ten minutes top. He parked in front of our house and Scott climbed out. He said thanks and went to unlock the door. I was almost out when warm, sexy breath graced my ear. I shivered involuntarily and stopped moving.

"I know about the kiss."

Those five words made my mouth fall open a third time tonight. I looked at Derek, but he was looking out the windshield. I jumped when I heard Scott yell, "Em, come on! Let's go!"

Oh if twin wasn't here, I would've shown Sexy a kiss with him actually awake.

Damn cock-block brother.

A/N: So I lied. I ended up fitting this episode into two chapter, yay me. Anywho, what'd you think - 15 reviews. And guys, please let me know what you want to see!

I'm dunzo - Holler.

xInsanelySarcastic