I've got no idea how British grading works, so I'm doing this Harry Potter style. O (Outstanding) E (Exceeds Expectations) A (Acceptable) P (Poor) D (Dreadful). No T.
Saturday A.M.
(11:12) Birdie. You awake?
(11:13) Have I ever been known to sleep past eight?
(11:13) Idk maybe.
(11:14) No I don't, fool.
(11:15) :P I dont know that. Maybe you get up early just to be able to talk to the awesome me.
(11:16) You're self-centered.
(11:17) Just now realizing that, Birdie?
(11:18) Haha.
(11:19) Can I guess your favorite song?
(11:20) You get one try a day.
(11:21) All The Things She Said by t.A.t.U.
(11:22)...Thats by a Russian band.
(11:23) I thought it was German? All I know is that it's really popular and foreign.
(11:24) That song is in English, Birdie.
(11:24) Oh.
(11:25) Damn it.
(11:26) Why dont we talk about something else?
(11:27) Okay...I guess...
(11:28) Whats your favorite colour?
(11:29) Probably red. You?
(11:30: Blue.
(11:31) Okay...Whats your favorite movie?
(11:32) God damn it how do I decide.
(11:33) Uh
(11:33) Jackass.
(11:34) My brother loves those movies, heh. My favorite movie would probably be Frozen.
(11:35) Thats a kids movie, Birdie.
(11:36) Your point being...?
(11:37) I
(11:38) Never mind, forget I said anything. This would be a pointless argument.
(11:39) Indeed it would be.
(11:40) Could you tell me more about Francis and Antonio?
(11:41) Theyre both idiots.
(11:42) I guess I am too.
(11:42) Heh...But I bet they're good friends, right?
(11:43) They are my best fucking friends ever. Yes they are.
(11:44) That's good...
(11:45) I've only had a few friends. Lars and Bella, when they lived here. Yekaterina. And I guess her sister Natalia. As long as I didn't get too close to Ivan.
(11:47) Sadly Ivan wanted to be close to me. He freaked me out. And Natalia threatened to cut my insides. So I kind of just tried to avoid those two. And then Yekaterina moved, and now we're back here. Alone.
(11:48) Oh...You live in Britain right?
(11:49) Yeah, couple of miles out of London.
(11:50) !
(11:50) I live *in* London!
(11:51) Really?
(11:52) Yeah! This is so cool. Too cool, real cool!
(11:53) Heh...Indeed, eh?
(11:54) Birdie, what if we met in real life?
(11:55) That would actually be kind of neat...I bet you're even more interesting in real life than you are in texting, heh!
(11:56) I dunno, Im pretty awesome either way.
(11:57) So uh.
(11:57) We still asking questions?
(11:58) Sure.
(11:58) Ok...Opinion on racial rights?
(11:59) That's an easy question. Equality for all.
(12:00) What about the LGBTQ community?
(12:01) See above statement of 'equality for all.'
(12:01) Oh. Oh wow.
(12:02) Oh wow wow okay. Wow.
(12:03) !?
(12:04) You okay, Gil?
(12:05) Hahahahahaha yep Im fine.
(12:06) You don't seem very fine...
(12:07) Nothing Birdie it is absolutely nothing.
(12:08) Well...Okay then...
(12:09) You mentioned Francis and Antonio were totally in love with other people? Who?
(12:10) Antonio is so obviously in love with his little tomato Lovino.
(12:11) Wait, is Antonio a homosexual?
(12:12) Exclusively. Why you got a problem with him.
(12:13) No I was just wondering! I have nothing against it! Continue!
(12:14) Hahahahahahahahahaha ok. Francis is probably the most pansexual man I have ever met.
(12:15) Hehehe...Sounds a lot like my cousin. He'd hit on every girl or guy that'd pass by.
(12:16) Sounds like Francis.
(12:17) Ironically his name was Francis as well, though I've never called him Franny.
(12:18) Wow holy shit. Itd be funny if they were the same person haha.
(12:19) How on earth could you know Francis Bonnefoy and still be friends with him? Hehehe he's a bit too much.
(12:20) WEHFWGCQGVUHEBVJSCBUEGCPIEGFCHBASHKCGBFKHFEIUGFUIRHGFB
(12:21) Uh...
(12:22) Gil? Gilly? You okay?
(12:27) OHMYFUCKINGGODBRB
(12:30) You better have a good reason for interrupting my beauty sleep thirty minutes too early.
(12:31) MATTHEW
(12:31) DO YOU HAVE A COUSIN
(12:32) NAMED MATTHEW
(12:33) Oui, poor boy. Why?
(12:37) HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
(12:38) I'm assuming you're at football practice with Antonio and you're freaking out.
(12:39) YESYESYES DO YOU HAVE ANY PICTURES OF MATTHEW
(12:40) Just of when he was a bit younger~ He's grown up the past few years, haven't seen him in three.
(12:41) gil i cant believe the coach just set us to the side like that v(ಥ ̯ ಥ)v
(12:42) I cant believe youre sitting directly next to me and texting in the group chat. Right fucking next to me, bro.
(12:43) i wanna talk to franny too! (◡‿◡✿)
(12:44) Please. The emoticons. It's too early in the morning for this.
(12:44) ( ‿ ✿)
(12:45) gil hold my flower (ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿
(12:46) ✿＼(｡-_-｡ Kick his ass Toni I got yo flower
(12:47) I hate the both of you.
(12:52) Are you gonna say what's freaking you out?
(12:53) FRANNYS LAST NAME IS BONNEFOY
(12:54) Holy shit!
(12:55) That's...Wow!
(12:54) I don't even have words for it! We've been talking about the same Francis!
(12:55) I fucking know right
(12:56) Just tell me before I go crazy
(12:57) Are you this cute and hesitant and shy in real life or
(12:58) Well uh...I wouldn't call myself cute? But yeah I'm shy.
(12:59) What makes you think I'm cute?
(1:00) Just like in a cute puppy way ok
(1:02) Ok
(1:04) Birdie
(1:05) Earth to Birdie
(1:06) Matthew
(1:10) Mattie
(1:11) Im assuming Alfreds there
(1:12) See ya.
(4:42) Sorry about that! Was busy.
(4:43) Ja I know.
(4:44) But now *Im* busy!
(4:44) Uh oh...Sorry.
(4:47) Ill txt u l8r ok
(4:48) Yeah...
Wednesday P.M.
(7:31) Earth to Birdie, come in Birdie.
(7:38) When you said 'later' I didn't know you meant a whole day.
(7:39) Quit your whining and bask in mein awesomeness.
(7:40) I'm basking in it, I'm basking in it.
(7:41) Gil, do you draw?
(7:43) Hell yes.
(7:43) Are you any good?
(7:44) Hell yes.
(7:46) I'm trying to draw what I think you look like, but I want to incorporate your name into the drawing. What's your full name if, uh, you don't mind me asking?
(7:47) Uh
(7:48) ?
(7:48) Well
(7:49) The awesome me is only embarrassed by this one thing
(7:50) My name
(7:51) Its the only thing unawesome about me.
(7:52) It can't be that bad!
(7:53) Do you promise not to laugh?
(7:54) Im fucking trusting you with qualified information.
(7:55) I swear I won't laugh!
(7:58) Okay.
(7:59) It's Gilbert Wilhelm
(8:00) That's not too bad!
(8:01) Wolfgang
(8:01) Fritz
(8:02) Elizabeth
(8:03) Beilschmidt.
(8:07) I
(8:08) I stand corrected.
(8:09) It is that bad and I'm laughing. I'm a terrible person. I'm sorry.
(8:10) Im used to it.
(8:11) So...Your full name is legitimately Gilbert Wilhelm Wolfgang Fritz Elizabeth Beilschmidt?
(8:12) Grandpa said my parents were expecting a girl.
(8:13) But...Why not just give you a gender-neutral name? Why...Elizabeth?
(8:14) I dont fucking know.
(8:15) Its better than Luddys name at least.
(8:16) ?
(8:17) How so?
(8:18) My parents were hoping it was a girl with him.
(8:19) Say hello to Ludwig Anne Beilschmidt.
(8:20) Pffffffffft
(8:23) I physically cannot
(8:24) At least his is short, Mon Dieu! XD
(8:25) Hahaha. Whats your full name?
(8:26) It's just Matthew, I don't have a middle name.
(8:28) Which is why Alfred flaunts his in my face all the time by making sure to write 'Alfred F. Jones'.
(8:29) Whats his middle name?
(8:30) Fucking.
(8:31) Well that sounds...
(8:32) Better than mine. I hate to admit it.
(8:34) Yeah...
(8:35) Guess who's going to be released from the hospital early?
(8:36) You?
(8:36) How did you know?
(8:37) Er...You kind of told me?
(8:38) Sarcasm, Gil. Sarcasm.
(8:39) Hey, how did you come up with the nickname Prussia?
(8:40) Well
(8:44) I've known my friends for a long time, and a couple of years ago we came up with this really stupid game. Ludwig called Germany just to hang out with Feliciano, who was Italy, and I wanted a German country. No way I was being Austria, because Roderich is from there and he already was Austria, and my trigger-happy cousin and his adopted sister are both from Switzerland and Liechtenstein. Did some research, and lo and behold! There used to be a German country named Prussia.
(8:45) Which is why I am so awesomely Prussia.
(8:46) Heh...Would I be Canada, then?
(8:47) Yeah sure.
(8:48) I heard there's a Prussia in Canada, so...
(8:49) I just realized the innuendo in that sentence.
(8:50) Eh I dont care.
(8:51) Who cares about innuendo anyways.
(8:52) Thats what I live for.
(8:53) I'm concerned for you, Gilbert.
(8:55) Honestly, you should be.
(8:56) There should be a little bit of Prussia in everybody.
(8:57) Oh my god.
(8:58) Ha, just kidding.
(8:59) Your lungs feeling better?
(9:00) Lots.
(9:00) Thats good, Birdie. Dont die on me!
(9:01) I'm not dying any time soon, Gil.
(9:02) Let me have my drama moment, dammit.
(9:03) Heh...So how's Francis?
(9:04) He totally freaked when he found out it was you I was texting.
(9:05) I would have told him more, but I had to protect my junk.
(9:05) !? Eh!
(9:06) Football practice, Birdie. Im the teams awesome goalie. No goal has ever gotten past me.
(9:07) Wow, you must be good...I kind of suck at football.
(9:08) But I'm pretty good at hockey, if I do say so myself!
(9:09) Theres a guy at our school really good at hockey. Two, actually.
(9:10) Theyre both scary af. Ivan Braginsky and Berwald something or other.
(9:11) Berwald? That's a bit of a strange name.
(9:12) I know right.
(9:13) Got any guesses for my favorite song?
(9:14) Sadly, no.
(9:15) How unfortunate.
(9:16) I've got to go, Gilbert. The doctors have come with needles.
(9:17) Fight em. Fight em hard, Mattie. Dont let them get to you.
(9:18) May my awesomeness bless you with strength.
(9:19) Send my regards to Alfred if I perish.
(10:18) My butt hurts.
(10:28) Youre alive!
(10:29) Barely, but enough funny business.
(10:30) I believe I have your favorite song.
(10:31) Ha, sure. Go on, guess.
(10:31) Monstaa by Culcha Candela.
(10:32) Wait
(10:33) What?!
(10:34) How the hell did you guess that!
(10:35) I found my brother listening to a German band that had that line in it. Bitte-bitte something.
(10:36) It was just a guess, but a lucky one, apparently!
(10:37) Someone has to tell me about their evil ex and all her wrong deeds!
(10:40)Uggh.
(10:41) Fine.
(10:43) I'm waiting.
(10:48) Wait longer, I aint discussing this in class.
(6:59) What ho.
(6:59) Tell me about your ex. Now.
(7:00) No more postponing! I want to know how terrible you believe they are!
(7:01) What was her name?
(7:02) Well first thing youve got to know about my ex is that they are the most stuck up stubborn prick in the whole world.
(7:03) They think theyre so perfect and flawless and it makes me sick.
(7:04) You've avoided saying her name, I see.
(7:05) Is it Elizabeta? Do you really hate her that badly to not say her name?
(7:06) Well uh Birdie
(7:07) About my ex
(7:08) They were kind of a guy so uh
(7:10) Birdie?
(7:13) I havent scared ya off, have I?
(7:14) No! No you haven't!
(7:15) I'm just...Shocked, I guess? You seemed more like a lady's type of man!
(7:16) Noooo Birdie youre so very wrong.
(7:17) So youre a homosexual?
(7:18) I hate it when they slap sexuality on ya
(7:19) Yes, Birdie. Exclusively homosexual. Taste the rainbow and yada yada yada. Not as special as the pan Francis and Antonio, yada yada yada. But to be honest 99% sure Luddy is homo too.
(7:20) Oh...I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come off as rude.
(7:21) It's okay if you don't want to talk about him...
(7:22) Youve already got me started, no turning back now.
(7:23) It was Roderich.
(7:25) !
(7:27) Not this infamous Roderich that I have heard so much about?
(7:28) The very same prick.
(7:29) At first Roderich was probably like one of the best things ever ya know?
(7:32) And then came Year 10 where all this drama is everywhere and people are going on dates left and right so I asked Roderich and he said yes and everything was good for a while. Crush for seven years going on a date with me? Hell yes!
(7:34) But nooo. Roderich was not at all concerned for my side of the relationship. The relationship seemed to be all me, if you know what I mean. I did all the work, all the kissing, I was the one who started it, all of it.
(7:35) Did you ever think maybe you were coming off as pushy or clingy...? Or maybe you expected more out of him because you'd liked him for so long...?
(7:36) Be quiet, Birdie, Im in the middle of a rant right here.
(7:38) So I told Roderich exactly what I was thinking, and the ungrateful little snob told me that if it wasnt working for me, for me to just leave him! Stupid aristocrat. Said *I* should break up with *him* so then I would look like the bad guy!
(7:39) I'm not really sure that was his intent, Gilbert.
(7:40) Silence, virgin potato.
(7:40) !?
(7:42) So after a few months of unstable fighting and drama and the whole school practically knew of this, Roderich finally broke it off and said I was an immature jerk who tried to come onto him way too much and didnt give him space. Like hell!
(7:43) And not even a month after all that, he starts going out with Elizabeta! The nerve of that jerk! And then he tries to rub it in my face!
(7:45) Wow. I wasn't there, so I can't say much, but...It did kind of sound like maybe just maybe this might have been your fault too?
(7:46) You and Franny sound the same. You really are cousins.
(7:47) I'm just trying to tell you the way it sounds from an outsider's point of view!
(7:48) Okay so maybe I was a tiny tiny bit clingy.
(7:49) But still. Rubbing Elizabeta in my face was the lowest of the low.
(7:50) Well...You have to have some good memories with Roderich, right?
(7:51) The worst outnumber the best.
(7:52) But ja, I guess he kind of sort of helped me out with the flute.
(7:53) And bought me tickets to a concert.
(7:54) And got me this phone.
(7:55) And maybe uh a car.
(7:56) Mon Dieu!
(7:57) But everything else sucked. Everything else was bad very bad.
(7:58) He must be filthy rich...! A car and a phone...! And he didn't want it back after breaking up with you?
(7:59) He said I could keep it because 'sentimental value.'
(8:00) Stupid prick.
(8:01) You're making it sound worse than it really is, to be honest with you.
(8:02) No. No Roderich is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
(8:03) He still has the nerve to text me like us breaking up never happened or anything.
(8:04) You are ridiculous. Maybe he's trying to be nice, Gil!
(8:05) You and Franny said the same exact thing and its scaring me.
(8:06) ._.
(8:06) I just realized you're a bit of an idiot...
(8:07) This convo is taking a turn for the depressing. Moving on, Birdie?
(8:08) I would but I've actually got to get going soon. See you, Gilbert.
(8:09) Bye!
(8:20)You left your science homework within the chemistry lab. Would you like it if I returned it to you?
(8:20) Screw off, Roddy.
(8:21)A year of this and you would have thought by now you would mature at least a fragment. Do you want the homework, yes or no?
(8:22) What loser *wants* to do homework anyways?!
(8:23) Perhaps someone without the intent of failing every single class possible. You're, what, barely scraping 'Acceptable' in everything?
(8:24) For your information I have an E in two classes. Two.
(8:25) I would rather not guess as to what those classes are.
(8:26)Oh, Antonio just happens to be passing by. I shall tell him to deliver this to you. Good day, Gilbert.
(8:27) Hey! You cant just talk to me like that then pass off with a 'good day!' Prick.
(8:28) Just talking to you sometimes is going to give me gray hair early, Gilbert. Everything I do just has to be instigating a fight with you.
(8:29) If you really want a fight, I believe I could call upon Elizabeta. She would be more than delighted to tell you first-hand how her frying pan feels.
(8:30) Oh, you wanna go?! You wanna let a girl fight for you?! Lets go, Roddy!
(8:31) Oh dear.
(8:34) She says meet her near the girl's bathroom on the second floor west corridor. Bring nothing. Fists only.
(8:35) Shes goin down!
(8:36) Sigh...Barbarians.
(7:01) Gilbert?
(7:02) Hello?
(7:07) Are you sick or something?
(7:12) Did you text and get your phone taken up?
(7:13) I guess I'll talk to you tomorrow, then?...
(7:15) Good bye.