Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue

He rolled over, half expecting to feel her limbs touching her, he felt nothing.

Opening his eyes he looks around the room, her clothes from the day earlier were still on the floor, thinking back to the previous night a smile crept up on his face.

FLASHBACK

Their lips fused together, he pulls away and looks at her, her freshly kissed lips, rosy checks, he attacks her neck with his lips.

Her hands reach down and grab the hem of his shirt, he pulls away again giving her enough time to take his shirt off before resuming his work on her neck.

She gasps for air as her continues to kiss her neck, as he did working on the buttons of her tops as well. Making his way to her collarbone, her shirt was unbuttons he guides her out of if, exposing her cream with black lace bra.

END OF FLASHBACK

He continues to look around the room, he sees her bra, his shirt, her jeans, his.

'Where the hell is she?' he thought, she most definitely was not a morning a person, she also wasn't the quietest either. He got up out of the bed and searched for his academy track pants from his dresser. Throwing them on, he walks to the kitchen; no sign of McNally.

He decided to grab his phone see if she had called him or something; she did, and left a voicemail.

"Hey Sam, it's me," her voice sounded shaky, like she had been crying as she dialed has number.

"Last night was uh, mistake. I'm sorry, I should never have let you kiss me, last night didn't change anything Sam. We can't use sex as a way of hiding from our problems. I'm going to go away for a while, I need to work on myself before I can work on us..." There was a long pause, Sam her the sound of her crying, all he wanted to do was be there and tell her everything was going to be okay. " I love you Sam Swarek, more then you'll every now, I just was that was enough right now."

And that was it, that was the last time her heard her voice.

It was exactly 4 days after she left, when he stopped drinking alone on their; well he guessed his couch, got up and pulled himself together.

7 days to return back to 15 Division.

9 days to delete the message she left him.

11 days for her scent to leave their home.

1 month to pack her stuff up.

375 times he said "I'm fine." lying to himself and to the people that cared about him the most.

2 months for him to stop blaming himself for her leaving.

"Brother, how have you been?" a concerned Oliver asked as they walked into parade, "I'm fine," Make that 376 times, "How's Celery?" he asked trying to change the subject, "She's amazing, she's got a pretty amazing husband you know." Sam laughed, "And the girls?"

"Growing up too fast, not wanting to around their dear old dad too much these days." Sighing as he walked up to the podium to give his morning speech, Sam still couldn't believe how well he fit into the Staff Sargent position after Frank left.

Walking out of parade, he looked down at his left hand, ring finger at the wedding band the he still wore. He didn't really know why he still wore it, she had been gone now for months, he often wondered if she still wore her's. He also wondered where she was, was she happy? With someone else?

Today marked the 3 month milestone of her leaving, twirling the ring around his finger he thought back to his interaction with people after she left.

FLASHBACK

4 beers deep, and no looking back a heartbroken Sam Swarek stumbled to his front door to answer it, grabbing the handle he opened it "Andy?" he asked looking out and seeing his best friend standing there instead.

"Sammy, brother what is going on with you? Both you and McNally don't show up for shift, no phone call? You had us worried sick. And from what I can tell you are drunk off you ass at, 4pm on a Tuesday" He said looking down at his watch. The parental part of Oliver was kicking in.

"She's gone man, I lost her," he said, using his best friend to stabilize himself. "Sammy," Oliver said quietly, he had never seen Sam like this; broken to what seemed beyond repair. Sure McNally had left before but they always knew she would come back eventually, but this time things just seemed different. Sure they fought like ever married couple but it never got to the point where one of them would leave, they would always make up before they went to bed. Oliver worried that maybe McNally would never come back this time.

END OF FLASHBACK

He smelt her perfume, he jerked his head up and looked around, she was no were in sight.

Maybe his mind was just playing tricks on him, he shrugged his shoulders and head toward his office. '3 months' he thought, '3 months since I've seen her face, heard her laugh, smelt the hand lotion that she puts on every night before bed. 3 months since I've told her I loved her.'

Walking up the steps he noticed a brunette, waiting there for him. She was wearing a dark wash denim jean jacket, for what he could tell from the doorway, her hair was neatly placed half over her shoulder the other half, on her back.

As he opened the door he knew, he smelt her perfume again, walking around the chair he looked up at her.

"Hi." she said.

"Andy." he managed to force out.

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