Sunday P.M.

(8:27) Birdie.

(8:28) My reputation.

(8:29) Its bleeding.

(8:30) What?

(8:31) You don't respond for a couple of days and you say your rep is bleeding.

(8:32) I got my ass handed to me.

(8:32) By Elizabeta.

(8:33) Let me just.

(8:34) Laugh. For a minute.

(8:35) You are harsh and cruel.

(8:36) Well I'm assuming you must have done /something/ to make her mad at you!

(8:37) That woman is always mad at me.

(8:38) With the stories you tell me, she always has a reason to be.

(8:39) Whos side are you on!?

(8:40) Team Gilbert, but Elizabeta always seems to have a reason to be mad.

(8:41) You are so rooting for Team Elizabeta.

(8:42) I am wounded, Birdie.

(8:43) So, let me guess, you're in the hospital and have been unable to text me because something important is damaged.

(8:44) My left wrist. Which is why I cant text you.

(8:45) She so did that on purpose.

(8:46) Wait, you're left-handed? And also just your wrist?

(8:48) My right leg too. And fractured my ankle. Yes I am awesomely left-handed.

(8:49) But I gave her a fractured tailbone so ha.

(8:50) But then we have suspension. For fighting.

(8:51) Oh...That's too bad…

(8:52) But enough chit chat.

(8:53) I have a seriously important question to ask you.

(8:54) My awesomeness demands an answer.

(8:55) ?

(8:58) I was looking at all the pasts texts weve texted and I saw when I asked if those tulips were from a girlfriend you said something like that and then you said no when I asked boyfriend and then when I asked well who you said he moved away.

(8:59) *He.*

(9:00) So he was something like a girlfriend?

(9:01) Oh.

(9:02) Well.

(9:03) Shit.

(9:04) Lars was just.

(9:05) It was only a few weeks.

(9:06) I used to be bullied a lot, but he helped me out, and he gave me tulips.

(9:07) I was kind of sort of depressed for a while.

(9:08) But every month he sends me twenty-four tulips. It kind of lights everything up a little when I'm reminded that all those nice times weren't just a hallucination, but they actually happened. That someone noticed me.

(9:09) I

(9:10) Be right back

(9:11)?

(9:13) Im back.

(9:14) What did you do?

(9:15) I had to punch a wall to feel manly again.

(9:16) But I think I just fractured my other wrist so.

(9:17) Mon dieu.

(9:18) This is why we can't have nice things, Gil.

(9:19) Ja ja ja I know, Luddy already told me.

(9:20) And he had every right to do do so.

(9:28) Gil?

(9:50) Sorry, was eating. The hospital food is better than school food.

(9:51) I dont know why. It just is.

(9:52) Is it soup surprise?

(9:53) BETTER.

(9:54) Meatloaf surprise.

(9:55) I would probably not eat that.

(9:56) Too late.

(9:57) Im about to engage in a food fling war with Elizabeta. Later.

(9:58) !? Do you WANT to get yourself killed?!

(10:12) Im back.

(10:14) How was the food fling war?

(10:15) It was cut short and we endured ten minutes of the head nurse screaming at us.

(10:16) Sounds like fun.

(10:17) Oh mon dieu.

(10:18) What.

(10:19) I just now realized you meant to send the text about masturbating to Roderich.

(10:20) So….Dear lordy.

(10:21) Are you even a virgin?

(10:22) Wtf happened this conversation was so normal.

(10:23) Still a virgin, dont you worry your horses, Birdie.

(10:24) Shit now I feel the need to jerk off.

(10:25) Too bad both my wrists are broken.

(10:26) I did not need to know that.

(10:27) Well too fucking late.

(10:28) Now I'm getting….

(10:29) Shit.

(10:30) Are you getting turned on

(10:31) No I'm getting another shot

(10:32) Oh shit no

(10:34) Gil, if I die tonight, I need you to deliver my body unto the holy maple tree and scatter my ashes in the wind.

(10:35) Be brave, soldier.

Monday A.M.

(7:34) I'M OUT OF THE HOSPITAL, I'M A FREE MAN

(7:35) PRAISE THE MAPLE LEAF

(7:36) SING HALLELUJAH

(7:37) Yes yes that is nice news but IT IS SEVEN IN THE FUCKING MORNING I HAD ANOTHER TWENTY MINUTES TO SLEEP

(7:38) Not anymore.

Monday P.M.

(9:28) Birdie.

(9:29) Birdie Birdie oh Birdie.

(9:30) Birdie.

(9:31) I'm tired from being up all day what do you want.

(9:32) Revenge, dear Birdie.

(9:33) I'd comment on the irony of the situation if I wasn't so tired.

(9:34) Ha.

Tuesday P.M.

(5:13) Birdie what is your dream guy.

(5:14) Blond, fabulous, sparkling eyes, good fashion sense.

(5:15) You have just described Feliks Łukasiewicz. Congratulations.

(5:16) Wait what?

(5:17) I dont even know Birdie. I dont even know.

(5:18) I wasn't even being serious, I was joking.

(5:19) There is a legit guy with blond hair, sparkling eyes, fabulous with a good fashion sense?

(5:20) Feliks.

(5:21) That thing youre describing.

(5:22) Its called a Feliks.

(5:23) I never knew such a thing existed.

(5:24) I have been amazed.

(5:25) And what may be your dream man, young padawan?

(5:26) I feel as if I should understand that reference but, no clue.

(5:27) My dream guy would probs be like….

(5:29) Cute and funny and shy at the same time and pretty eyes and like really soft hair so I can pet him all the time but is actually secretly badass and is like super awesome but not as awesome as me.

(5:30) I was going to create a witty reply but I realized I had none.

(5:31) Basically a summary of my life right there.

(5:32) Except I actually create witty replies.

(5:33) That does not make any sense.

(5:34) I know.

(5:35) Whats the best feeling in the world?

(5:36) Uh

(5:37) Freshly powdered snow, probably. Or the feeling of maple syrup being drizzled over pancakes.

(5:38) Not sure about that last one but okay.

(5:39) What about you?

(5:40) Soft kitty.

(5:41) Warm kitty.

(5:41) Little ball of fur.

(5:42) Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty

(5:43) FUCKING PURR PURR PURR

(5:44) HAHAHAHAHAHA I LOVE THAT SHOW

(5:45) Who doesn't?

(5:46) Unawesome people.

(5:47) Birdie, your awesomeness has increased by .0005 percent. Congratulations.

(5:48) Thank you, Lord Gilbert.

(5:49) Any time.

Wednesday A.M.

(6:23) I know it's early in the morning but please.

(6:24) Some help would be nice.

(6:28) Im up Im up Im awake Im awake whats happening.

(6:29) Oh mon dieu.

(6:30) I think there's an intruder in my house.

(6:31) ?! WHAT

(6:32) I'm scared. I want to call the police but I'm stuttering too much.

(6:33) Why can't we text the police?

(6:34) HOLY SHIT BIRDIE

(6:35) PLEASE DONT DIE

(6:36) I STILL HAVE TO SHARE MY AWESOME TALES WITH YOU TO PASS ON TO YOUR GRANDCHILDREN

(6:37) OF A GREAT MAN YOU ONCE KNEW NAMED GILBERT WILHELM WOLFGANG FRITZ ELIZABETH BEILSCHMIDT

(6:42) Birdie?

(6:47) False alarm. It was just Alfred sneaking in the kitchen trying to get some burgers while everyone else is asleep.

(6:48) Burgers, huh?

(6:49) Also, DONT FUCKING MAKE ME WORRY LIKE THAT.

(6:50) YOU ARE THE ONLY GODDAMN PERSON ON THE PLANET I CAN TALK TO ABOUT CERTAIN THINGS BECAUSE I DONT KNOW YOU.

(6:51) Er…Why?

(6:52) I feel as if I can spill all my secrets to a stranger. But no my best friends.

(6:53) I am sure they are offended.

(6:54) Nah they dont care.

(6:57) Gdi I should probably go back to sleep but you fucking woke me up.

(6:58) How about we just talk to classes start?

(6:59) Great fucking idea, and the nominees are Leonardo diCaprio, Leonardo diCaprio, and Leonardo diCaprio.

(7:00) AND THE WINNER IS MATTHEW WILLIAMS!

(7:01) I can't figure out if that's sarcasm or not.

(7:02) I'll leave that up to you to decide.

(7:03) Wah wah, drama king.

(7:04) Less drama, more king.

(7:05) Less king, more drama. Drama llama.

(7:06) You did not just associate me with a lame llama.

(7:07) I did.

(7:08) Fuck you birdie. Im too awesome for this shit.

(7:09) Ha, I bet you are.

(7:10) Hold on, Frannys bitching and complaining because I just laughed and woke him up.

(7:11) Oh dear.

(7:12) Ttyl.

(7:13) Good bye, Gilbert.

Wednesday P.M.

(6:31) Gilbert?

(6:34) Hello?

(6:36) Mon dieu…

(6:39) I am insanely bored. There is nothing to do in this house.

(6:44) Gilbert when I am bored I start singing.

(6:46) The Krusty Krab pizza

(6:47) Is the pizza

(6:48) For you and me

(6:49) The Krusty Krab pizza

(6:50) Is the pizza.

(6:51) Now I'm bored again.

Thursday P.M.

(5:14) Gilbert.

(5:17) Gilbert.

(5:18) Gilbert this is becoming a problem.

(5:19) I'm going to kill you if you don't ever message me again.

(5:24) I am highly trained in hockey-fu.

(5:30) That should be a real martial art, actually.

(5:35) I am a genius.

(5:40) Wait.

(5:41) Aren't you in suspension?

(5:42) Oh mon dieu.

(5:43) I guess you won't be answering until Saturday…

(5:47) I'm going to die of boredom.

(5:50) GILBERT WILHELM WOLFGANG FRITZ ELIZABETH BEILSCHMIDT YOU COULD AT LEAST STEAL YOUR PHONE BACK

(5:51) No no I'm kidding.

(5:52) Oh my god.

(5:53) Don't do drugs.

(5:58) This is the monster I become when I'm bored, un fucking believable.

*grabs a cup of tea and sits at computer* Hm, I should update Call Me May-*spews tea all over screen* I HAVE /HOW/ MANY FOLLOWS AND FAVORITES?!

Thank you guys for writing all of your reviews and favorites and follows! I know girls are generally better at writing yaoi than guys, but give a dude a chance w And I'm glad ya did! 3 Hugs!

I wish I could reply to every single one of the reviews but sadly, my internet connection is slow :( Sowwy.

But thank you all~!