Saturday A.M.
(4:13) BIRDIE ARE YOU STRAIGHT
(4:14) No
(4:14) Youre lying to me.
(4:15) Ah yes, I am indeed straight.
(4:16) Thank you for accepting me for who I am, Gilbert.
(4:17) Why youre welcome Mattie dear.
(4:18) You have made my journey to coming out to my parents so much easier.
(4:19) You are a blessing.
(4:20) Youre making me blush.
(4:21) Thank you for helping me, Gil. It's been magnificent.
(4:22) I've been wondering how to tell my family I'm straight and now…
(4:23) And now I think I can.
(4:24) Youre ever so fucking welcome Birdie.
(4:25) What the hell is this conversation even about?
(4:28) Idk I had a point to asking that to make a dashing return from the dead but it was all lost when you said no.
(4:29) Were you expecting me to say straight?
(4:30) Well duh everybody else does.
(4:31) I try not to lie.
(4:32) Hahaha.
(4:33) Wait hey Birdie have you told your parents your gay?
(4:34) *Pan.
(4:35) Oh what fucking ever.
(4:36) Yeah they know...They actually found out about Alfred first.
(4:38) What?! We *BOTH* have bros who are totally gay? Were more alike than we thought!
(4:39) Wait Ludwig is tasting the rainbow?
(4:41) He says otherwise but hes so in the closet like um one does not get turned gay by that cute lil Italian hes always running around with like come on man stop lying embrace your inner gay
(4:42) Has he ever had dates before?
(4:43) This one chick named Francine in like the sixth grade
(4:44) But we dont talk about Francine.
(4:45) So maybe Ludwig's bisexual?
(4:46) No no hes gay.
(4:47) If you're sure…
(4:48) I mothered the shit out of Luddy he is a perfect human being
(4:49) And gay
(4:50) Like brother like brother
(4:50) Saving people, hunting things, the family business.
(4:51) I feel as if I should understand that reference.
(4:52) What the fuck how do you not know Supernatural.
(4:53) Like 99% of the school watches it.
(4:55) What is it about?
(4:55) Gays
(4:56) What really!?
(4:57) lol no.
(4:58) Oh.
(4:59) Its fucking epic tho.
(5:00) Like the eleventh season just started airing and asderefaorigfbwngjk.
(5:01) What does that even mean?
(5:02) Happiness.
(5:03) Of course.
(5:04) Well if we're talking about shows have you seen Sherlock?
(5:05) Whats that.
(5:07) Oh.
(5:07) My.
(5:07) God.
(5:08) Im assuming me not knowing what that is is a sin.
(5:09) Gilbert do you have Netflix.
(5:10) Netflix n chill, bro.
(5:11) Gilbert young man you will watch Sherlock young man or you're grounded for a week.
(5:12) Wtf no.
(5:13) I have football practice tonight.
(5:14) Why not just have done it earlier?
(5:16) Because its fucking London and it rained so now were postponing it till eight where the air will be cooler and hopefully the ground harder.
(5:17) Oh.
(5:18) So anyways like you said earlier Alfred is gay?
(5:19) He's actually bi.
(5:20) You and your exact sexualities why cant just everyone be gay.
(5:21) Hes gay, shes gay, its gay, thats gay, theyre gay, theyre all gay.
(5:22) Because the world isn't like that, Gil.
(5:23) Well fuck.
(5:24) But yeah, Alfred is bisxeual.
(5:25) Remember how I said he broke up with his ex and then got back together with him?
(5:26) The shit they should sell to Disney?
(5:27) Yeah.
(5:28) Well when Alfred was sixteen and Arthur twenty they started dating and Arthur was kind of mild he wasnt overly gentlemanly and polite but fairly so but he was also kind of crazy.
(5:29) But then Arthur graduated and he started doing all this bad shit.
(5:30) Starting fights, smoking, alcohol. He got arrested like three times.
(5:31) I have found a new role model.
(5:32) It's not funny, he was really bad and rude and plain out abusive!
(5:33) Take a chill dildo Birdie.
(5:34) *pill wtf.
(5:35) I'm going to ignore that.
(5:37) That went on like that for like three months and Alfred broke up with him after he gave him three chances to clean up his act. His departing words were 'it's not me its you.'
(5:38) Hahahahahahaha.
(5:41) We didn't hear from Arthur again for like, two years. He just suddenly disappeared off planet Earth. Just after Alfred turned nineteen this summer Arthur suddenly came back twenty three and bright and shiny and clean and gentlemanly and a stick in the mud.
(5:43) Thats one of the biggest fucking character developments in the history of ever.
(5:45) Anyways Arthur apparently had no expectation of Alfred to come running back to him but after two months they got back together again. Hip hip hurray.
(5:46) Whats Arthur like now?
(5:47) He's taken out all his piercings but he still has this one tattoo and basically hes a stereotypical British gentleman.
(5:48) Well then.
(5:50) Alfred must really have like the patience of a god or something or the forgiveness or whatever the fuck cuz I aint taken back no ex of mine that does that shit.
(5:51) That's what Alfred said, heh….But I guess maybe they're meant to be.
(5:52) Hey no chick flick moments.
(5:53) Reconsider selling this shit to Disney.
(5:54) Might not be kid appropriate.
(5:55) Ya think.
(5:59) Anyways Birdie I gotta go eat dinner.
(6:00) BYE!
(6:01) Bye! :)
Sunday A.M.
(8:30) Mon ami.
(8:31) Guys.
(8:34) Get your asses up.
(8:42) franny its too early! (◕︵◕)
(8:43) Revenge, dear Toni.
(8:44) Hahahahahahahahaha.
(8:45) what are you laughing for gil? (●´ω｀●)
(8:46) Nothing, Toni. Inside joke.
(8:47) Seriously Franny why the fuck did you wake us up.
(8:48) i was having a good dream about romanito!≧◡≦
(8:49) That sounds disturbing.
(8:50) (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
(8:52) You are probably wondering why I have gathered you here today.
(8:53) no shit sherlock…ᇂﮌᇂ)
(8:54) Antonio, shut the fuck up for a second.
(8:55) We have important matters to discuss-
(8:56) Gilbert.
(8:57) What why me.
(8:59) Because your growing obsession with my little cousin Matthieu is beginning to seriously concern me.
(9:00) Wtf are you talking about Im not obsessed with him.
(9:01) yes you are
(9:01) Yes you are.
(9:02) No Im not and Toni youre just being a filthy hypocrite.
(9:03) maybe but at least we know lovi in person!! (~￣▽￣)~
(9:04) You were pining all practice yesterday to talk to Matthew.
(9:05) Toni you filthy traitor!
(9:06) im sorry he promised me tomatoes! (ノ・ω・)ノ
(9:07) I thought our friendship meant more to you, Toni. The wall god is displeased.
(9:08) What the fuck?
(9:10) None of you watch…? Nevermind. I'm wasting my time with you fools.
(9:11) Hey fools is my word!
(9:12) Fool, it is mine!
(9:13) I've said it for way longer, fool!
(9:15) FOOLS!
(9:16) SHUT UP TONI
(9:16) Shut up Toni!
(9:17) (◕︿◕✿)
(9:18) Have you ever considered the fact you might be falling in love with dear Matthew?
(9:19) NO! NO IM NOT!
(9:20) I AM NOT FALLING IN LOVE WITH MATTHEW I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE
(9:21) (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
Monday P.M.
(8:58) Sorry for not texting Franny took my phone away from me.
(9:04) Do I even want to know?
(9:05) He said its whats going to happen if my grades dont improve.
(9:06) Hes like my fucking mother.
(9:07) Heh that sounds just like Francis.
(9:08) Except a bit kinder.
(9:09) ?
(9:10) He was a total douche that last time I saw him.
(9:11) Hed take stuff away from me until my grades got better but he was a lot meaner about it.
(9:12) Frannys always been nice tho. Maybe hes just mean to you?
(9:13) He can be nice to to be honest I think Alfred just gets his temper flared.
(9:14) Ha, Franny doesnt talk about Alfred nearly as much as he does you.
(9:15) I've always been the favorite.
(9:15) I can see why lmfao
(9:16) Maybe he disapproved of Arthur
(9:17) That was before Arthur went all whacky and shit.
(9:18) Maybe he still disapproved of Arthur.
(9:19) They never got along…
(9:20) I seriously have to ask Francis if he has any pics of you because omfg I seriously want to fucking know what you look like!
(9:23) That's a bit creepy though!
(9:24) No its not!
(9:25) Its normal!
(9:26) I want to see the face of someone who makes me smile a shit ton during the day!
(9:30) That sounded straighter in my head.
(9:31) I'm laughing too hard.
(9:32) You are a horrible person.
(9:33) Yes, I know.
(9:34) Ok so basically you already know me and Franny but like Toni is dying to meet you.
(9:35) Whats Toni like?
(9:36) Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
(9:37) His brains must have been flushed down the toilet years ago.
(9:38) Return Of The Concerning Toilet.
(9:39) Part three.
(9:42) The toilet's back….And it's PERSONAL.
(9:43) Can Gilbert Wilhelm Wolfgang Fritz Elizabeth Beilschmidt defeat him in time?
(9:44) With his trusty sidekick Matthew Williams?
(9:45) What why am I the sidekick why can't I be the antagonist?
(9:46) Because then youd be the toilet.
(9:47) I've always wanted to be a toilet.
(9:48) Are you transbathroom?
(9:49) I might be. It never felt right being a urinal.
(9:50) I wish you luck on your journey to becoming a toilet.
(9:51) Thank you, lieutenant Gilbert Wilhelm Wolfgang Fritz Elizabeth Beilschmidt.
Wednesday P.M.
(1:28) Gilbert?
(1:34) Oh I forgot you're in class right about now.
(2:18) Nope Im here I just had Phys Ed
(2:22) Oh
(2:25) But I cant talk at all today or tomorrow that long bc I have important shit to do
(2:26) Like what?
(2:28) They decided last minute they wanted me to compete in tournament
(2:29) Tournament for what?
(2:30) Flute.
(2:31) Such a manly event.
(2:33) Shut up and go sniff your flowers, Tulip Man.
Friday A.M.
(9:53) So you're going to perform in the concert today, yes?
(9:54) Dont talk to me, Roddy.
(9:55) It was a simple and legitimate question that did not require such hostility, Gilbert.
(9:56) Oh what fucking ever you prick.
(9:57) Some things never change, do they?
(9:58) Roddy, why are you even texting me? Dont you have some lame piano performance shit to do?
(9:59) The piano session is after the clarinets. Please pay attention, Gilbert.
(10:00) Why dont you pay attention how much I care!
(10:01) Oh wait I DONT!
(10:02) I'm just trying to be nice to you and you would think by now we would have gotten over all shenanigans from the past.
(10:03) So thats what I was? A shenanigan? A mark of dirt on your clean vanilla record?
(10:04) I never said that. I don't blame you for me getting suspended-
(10:05) I take full responsibility for the paint spray incident.
(10:06) You aren't a blemish on my 'vanilla record' Gilbert. You were an experience.
(10:07) Oh, Im an experience now? Just an experiment for your 'bi phase?!'
(10:08) You are so thick headed. I didn't mean it like that.
(10:09) You're up next. Break a leg.
(10:10) Break your neck.
Friday P.M.
(8:03) Hey Gilbert, you still awake?
(8:59) Sorry I was doing something with Luddy.
(9:00) What? Why?
(9:02) As much as I love our wonderful conversations together I am still an awesome big brother who has to embarass his little one at all times.
(9:03) You sound like an awful big brother.
(9:04) What the fuck are you talking about I am the shit.
(9:05) Yeah, whatever you say, Gil.
(9:06) Ok so do you want to meet Toni n shit because theyre not leaving me the hell alone
(9:07) They keep bothering you about it?
(9:08) A slightly negative and slightly positive trait we all possess is persistency
(9:09) Ah. That explains a lot.
(9:11) So anyways...They totally want to do a group chat with you.
(9:12) Will there be pancakes?
(9:13) Yes.
(9:14) Well, I'm in, then.
(9:15) Sweeeet!
(9:18) Guys Birdie is here now!
(9:19) Again with the Sesame Street kink name?
(9:20) Stfu.
(9:21) Uh, hi.
(9:22) Matthieu~! How are you, mon cher?
(9:23) Pretty good, you?
(9:24) I'm doing wonderful, thank you. How's your brother?
(9:25) He's back together with Arthur now!
(9:26) Oh.
(9:27) Is he?
(9:28) Yo guys Im still here.
(9:29) Mon ami, let us catch up together.
(9:30) Can ya do that privately?
(9:31) awww is gil jealous? (・∀・ )
(9:32) TONI I THOUGHT YOU WERE ASLEEP
(9:33) Nice to meet you, Toni.
(9:34) same mi amigo! ＼（○＾ω＾○）／
(9:35) I've heard a lot about you both!
(9:36) saaaame Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ
(9:37) Gil won't shut up about you!
(9:38) he calls you his sweet birdie! ~(◠ω◕✿)
(9:39) I DO NOT YALL ARE MAKING SHIT UP
(9:40) Defensive response is defensive.
(9:41) Shut up, Birdie.
(9:44) Im exhausted as shit. Good night guys. Dont be poisoning Birdies mind.
(9:45) Did that years ago, too late, mon cher.
(9:46) Ha. Ha. Ha.
(9:47) Shut up.