Saturday P.M.
(8:43) Birdie.
(8:44) Birdie.
(8:45) Hey Birdie.
(8:45) I've been summoned.
(8:46) Yeah sorry for not talking Ive been like super super busy.
(8:47) You did something to Elizabeta didn't you.
(8:48) Am I that transparent.
(8:49) No, I am just a seer of the future.
(8:50) But if youre a seer of the future how can you know something I did in the past.
(8:51) Because I predicted you would do this hours ago when that was still part of the future.
(8:52) I guess that makes sense.
(8:53) I always make sense.
(8:54) No you dont.
(8:55) You have caught me in a lie.
(8:56) Youre going to fucking jail, Birdie.
(8:57) You'll never take me alive.
(8:58) Watch me.
(8:59) I shudder in fear of your overwhelming power.
(9:00) As you should.
(9:01) Where is this conversation going again?
(9:02) Idk Birdie I just wanted to say hey.
(9:03) Well you've said hey.
(9:04) Indeed I have.
(9:05) And I have homework to do now.
(9:06) Wait, youre in school now?
(9:07) In a sense, yes. Homeschooled.
(9:08) My 'homework' is just chores.
(9:09) Oh ok.
(9:10) Well.
(9:11) This awkward.
(9:12) Yes, it is…
(9:13) Hows life?
(9:14) Uh, it's good, I guess…
(9:15) A little slow….What about you?
(9:17) Im fine, Franny and Toni and I are probably going to a dorm party tomorrow.
(9:18) Oh. Tell me how that goes?
(9:19) Ja sure….
(9:20) Awkward.
(9:21) Yep.
Sunday A.M.
(8:18) BIRDIE
(8:19) BIRDIE YES OMG BIRDIE I TOTALLY KNEW IT I AM THE MOST AMAZING BIG BROTHER TO HAVE EVER EXISTED ON THE PLANET HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE
(8:20) What!?
(8:21) OK SO YEAH YOU KNOW HOW I SAID THE OTHER DAY LUDDY IS TOTALLY GAY
(8:22) Yes…?
(8:23) WELL HE IS BECAUSE HES LIKE OFFICIALLY GOING OUT WITH FELI NOW SO YAS I TOTALLY KNEW IT
(8:24) That's good! What's Feli like?
(8:26) You would never guess they were bfffs. Theyre like polar opposites almost. Luddy is hard-faced and seems stone cold and diligent and all that shit. Feli is bright and happy and bubbly and bouncy and loud and always in a good mood. They got some things in common-football, cooking, animals-but a lot of people would never guess they would hang out with each other.
(8:27) Wow, they're that different?
(8:28) Yep! Theyve got this third friend, Kiku Honda, whos totally quiet and 'respectful.' Real anime nerd. Theyre an odd trio but theyve got a really good friendship. Not as fucking awesome as me and Franny and Toni but theyre up there in that league.
(8:29) Well, that's good.
(8:30) Alfred's sort of got his own little clique here too, and Arthur does too, but they're a bit different.
(8:31) ?
(8:32) Alfred hangs around with the school jocks and stuff, and Arthur's really only got two friends, both which are younger than him, they're a year above Alfred in school. They've got a 'magic club.'
(8:33) Do they smoke weed?
(8:34) What!? No!
(8:35) What a shame.
(8:36) Gilbert, just...NO!
(8:37) Calm your man titties, Birdie, Im not being serious.
(8:38) You better not be, or I'll beat your ass with a hockey stick.
(8:39) Oooh. Violent.
(8:40) Wait you play hockey?
(8:41) I used to...But now, I'm not sure if they'll let me play again.
(8:42) Thats so fucking ratchet. Are you any good?
(8:43) Hella.
(8:44) Youre lying.
(8:46) Gilbert, I am a mostly modest man. When I say 'hella' when you ask how good I am at something I mean business.
(8:47) Yeah whatever.
(8:48) Question: how tall are you?
(8:49) Maybe like….Five foot nine and a half?
(8:50) HA SHORTIE!
(8:51) What!?
(8:52) Im five foot eleven and a half. BEAT THAT.
(8:52) Well, Alfred is a whole inch and a half shorter than you. For some reason I imagined you as five foot seven.
(8:52) Im offended.
(8:53) WAIT A MINUTE.
(8:53) You said Ludwig was taller than you. So how freaking tall is Ludwig?
(8:54) Little Luddy is proudly six foot two.
(8:55) That's
(8:56) That's not little
(8:57) You shut your mouth.
(8:58) Why do you even refer to him as 'Little Luddy?'
(8:59) In my view of heights, six foot two is not little.
(9:00) Well you can go and flush your view down the toilet.
(9:01) Damn it that was unintentional.
(9:02) You can take your view and….Stuff it….down a…..
(9:03) Toilet?
(9:04) NO NOT A TOILET
(9:05) Down your throat.
(9:06) Yeah that sounds good.
(9:07) Oh mon Dieu.
(9:08) Why do you automatically refer things to a toilet?
(9:09) Well maybe I have a shitty life, and I need a toilet to flush all that shit away.
(9:10) That was both deep and disgusting.
(9:11) Thank you, Birdie. I try to be philosophical when I can.
(9:12) You're welcome, Gil.
(9:21) You busy?
(9:27) Yeah sorry I just have a lot of homework to catch up on since I missed school for suspension.
(9:28) You actually do your homework?
(9:29) Uh yeah you have to have fucking good grades to stay in this school
(9:30) I thought you didn't do work….
(9:33) Well obviously I was lying to make myself look cooler because in reality I am a nerd an absolute nerd who raised his brother to be a nerd as well and really Im a dork is what other people say.
(9:34) You were more willing to admit that than I thought.
(9:35) You're a nerd just for doing your homework?
(9:36) No no see
(9:38) I like Star Wars and classic rock and anime and computer games and running blogs but at the same time football and video games and hiking and shit
(9:39) Im a semi-nerd in my definition
(9:40) But Luddy is secretly a huge nerd too
(9:41) He has all the Percy Jackson, Maze Runner, Hunger Games, Divergent, etc., he has all of those books
(9:42) And a Star Trek poster
(9:43) But no one is allowed to see that
(9:44) Were like closet nerds
(9:45) Is it bad I laughed I'm sorry.
(9:46) I never really took you or Ludwig as the nerdy type…!
(9:47) Well
(9:48) I never took you as the hockey type
(9:49) Yeah no one ever does.
(9:50) They think it's just all Alfred when it comes to sports.
(9:51) What kind of sports does he play?
(9:53) American football back when we lived in America for a couple of years, now sometimes he plays basketball, but not so often. He used to play hockey with me, which he's not as good as me, but he's decent.
(9:58) Ah yes I want to stay to chat more but both Franny and Luddy are about to team up and get onto my ass about completing my schoolwork
(9:59) Au revoir
(10:00) Bye!
Monday P.M.
(5:13) Hey Gil!
(5:14) Hello and welcome to Gilbert's sex line! We love stuffing our sausages in your buns!
(5:14) WHAT!?
(5:15) wehfbajjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjgshfw,we
(5:16) BIRDIE MY FRIEND HERACLES JUST TOOK MY PHONE IM SORRY
(5:17) IM SO SORRY
(5:19) Give me a moment.
(5:20) So I can laugh.
(5:21) I hate you.
(5:22) No Gilbert, you love me, for you are still texting me.
(5:23) Oh shut up Birdie.
Tuesday P.M.
(4:28) Im bored.
(4:31) That's nice.
(4:32) Help me ease my boredom.
(4:33) I'm feeling frankly evil today.
(4:34) Dont leave me hanging, Birdie.
(4:35) Okay fine I'll stay.
(4:36) Aw yes.
(4:37) Twenty questions?
(4:38) Why 20 Questions?
(4:39) I love playing that. I told you Im good at guessing.
(4:40) Okay fine.
(4:42) Is it a mineral, object, person, animal, or food?
(4:43) Food.
(4:44) Is it a vegetable?
(4:45) No.
(4:46) A fruit?
(4:47) Yeah.
(4:48) This is gonna be easy.
(4:49) Yeah probably my item isn't too hard to guess.
(4:50) Youre a killjoy.
(4:51) Is it used in fruit salad?
(4:52) Yes. I think.
(4:53) Is it red?
(4:54) Yep.
(4:55) Is it an apple? Shinigami like them!
(4:56) What?
(4:57) What
(4:58) Ignoring comment about shini-whatever, no, it's not an apple.
(4:59) Is it a cherry?
(5:00) Yes.
(5:01) I WIN MOTHERFUCKER
(5:02) YOU CAN GO STUFF YOUR HEAD DOWN A TOILET
(5:03) LOSER ALWAYS STUFFS THEIR HEADS DOWN A TOILET
(5:04) Oh no. Not a toilet.
(5:05) Gilbert someone needs to start punching you every time you say toilet.
(5:06) Yeah well that thought can get shoved down the toilet.
(5:07) Franny read what you said over my shoulder and just punched my arm. Ow.
(5:08) Tell Francis I said hi!
(5:09) No need, hes reading over my shoulder like a creep.
(5:10) Hello Francis!
(5:11) He says bonjour.
(5:12) Tell him I asked how he is.
(5:13) Do I look like a fucking mailman to you dont you have a phone of your own to do this shit or did you drop it down a toilet
(5:14) HE FUCKING PUNCHED ME AGAIN
(5:15) Serves you right, talking about toilets like that.
(5:16) Don't you ever consider their feelings? What if they feel awkward when you talk about them like that?
(5:17) This conversation is getting awkward.
(5:18) How do you think the toilets feel?
(5:19) BIRDIE LIKE FIFTY PERCENT OF OUR CONVERSATIONS ARE ABOUT TOILETS YOU TALK ABOUT THEM JUST AS MUCH TOO
(5:20) YES WELL MAYBE YOU ARE THE ONE THAT INSTIGATES THE TALKING ABOUT TOILETS IN THE FIRST PLACE
(5:21) I would love to stay and argue about toilets but Ive got football practice soon.
(5:23) Yeah okay. Don't get lost in a toilet.
(5:24) Fuck you.
(6:18) Mattie bro! :DDDDDDD
(6:19) Wat r u doing :?
(6:20) Texting a friend.
(6:21) But u don't have any friendz. :D
(6:22) Oh my god you're typing like that again! Was it another dare?
(6:23) Yes :( matthias dared me 2.
(6:24)It hurts 2 talk liek dis 4 2 long. :'(
(6:23) Well he doesn't read your text messages, does he? Just text normally and he won't know.
(6:24) Yay! :D
(6:25) So mattie this party is soooo wicked. :DDDDD
(6:26) I'm glad to hear. Having a good time?
(6:27) Yeah what about you mattie bro you having a good time? Are you texting that gilbert dude? ;)
(6:28) I don't know what you're implying with the winky face but yes, I am.
(6:29) Oh come onnnn mattie you said you liked him! OwO
(6:30) It's just a small crush thing. I don't even know what he looks like!
(6:31)Why don't you change that? You have gilbert's number and a camera all you have to do is take a self and like send it to him! Easy duh! XD
(6:32) Al, maybe I don't really want him to know what I look like.
(6:33) Whyyyyyyy? D:
(6:34) Well frankly, I think I'm rather hideous.
(6:35) Mattie bro you are bootiful even artie says so so accept the beauty and love /(OwO)/ hug
(6:36) I am not accepting the beauty and love. That's gay.
(6:37) You're gay! :(
(6:38) Pansexual!
(6:39) Blah blah blah why can't everybody just be gay?
(6:40) You and Gilbert would get along finely.
(6:41) Aw yuuuus :D
(6:42) Gtg mattie artie is calling me and i ain't saying no to a little artie time ;)
(6:43) Gross.
(6:44) You just jelly you ain't getting none :P
Wednesday P.M.
(11:48) Birdie?
(11:49) You awake?
(11:50) Birddiiiieeee
(11:51) Mein awesomeness demands you
(11:52) Oh mein Gott
Thursday A.M.
(7:14) GOOD MORNING BIRDIE
(7:15) Oh hello.
(7:16) Oh look youre actually awake this time!
(7:17) I've been up since six thirty.
(7:18) Willingly?!
(7:19) Yes Gil, willingly.
(7:20) Youre a psychopath, who would even get up that early willingly?
(7:21) It's high functioning sociopath, do your research.
(7:23) What?
(7:34) You have yet to watch Sherlock, child. I won't speak to you until you do.
(7:35) Ugh fine.
(7:36) I'll even watch that Unnatural show you wanted me to watch
(7:37) ITS CALLED SUPERNATURAL
(7:38) Well okay then.
(7:39) Jfc youre just like my friend Mei. Shes always telling me to watch Doctor Who and shit. Idek what that is.
(7:40) It's a show, I've seen it around on Netflix, but I've never watched. It looks pretty good.
(7:41) Really?
(7:42) Yeah.
(7:43) Well what if I watched Sherlock, and you watched Supernatural, and then we watched Doctor Who together?
(7:44) Alright, sounds like a plan….I like it!
(7:45) Of course you do I made it.
(7:46) Oh my god.
(7:47) Before I leave here Im gonna be evil.
(7:48) In three seconds youll be singing "I'm a Barbie Girl" in your head.
(7:49) I HATE YOU DAMN IT NOW IT'S STUCK IN MY HEAD
Friday P.M.
(11:42) Hey Birdie!
(11:43) Hi Gil!
(11:44) Enthusiastic response is enthusiastic.
(11:45) Hey saying stuff like that is my thing, don't be stealing it.
(11:46) Killjoy.
(11:47) Whatever. I want to stay and chat but my brother needs help with something right now.
(11:48) Like what?
(11:49) Like me having to drive over to the bar to save his sorry ass because he's drunk.
(11:50) I love getting drunk.
(11:51) But yeah you should probably go get him just sayin.
(11:52) Talk to you tomorrow?
(11:53) Of course Birdie :)