"We love the things that destroy us, because in that destruction we truly feel alive."
―Robert Pobi,Bloodman
Danny lay in his bed staring at the ceiling. He skipped out on the last couple of class periods due to the depression that seeped slowly into him throughout the remainder of the day. Seeing Lacey hurt had jarred him. Danny wondered how long his hate for himself would last or how long he would love Lacey. Because at this point, one was synonymous with the other.
The constant twingle of Danny's phone text alert chimed into into the silence that Danny craved once his head hit the pillow. Jo was persistent if nothing else. Danny didn't feel like making excuses to ward of her advances tonight. The girl was grating on his last nerve the last few days. When a boy takes a girl's hand from his crotch area, one would think she'd get the hint. Of course, Jo thought it was because they were in the school library and others may see.
Danny felt his stomach turn at feeling violated by Jo's hands. He remembered her trying to be seductive but only failed miserably by her choice of words. "I can do things for you that Lacey never would."
First, Danny dared Jo to mention Lacey at all with less than pleasing pouty expression. Secondly, Jo had no clue at all how to be half the lover that Lacey Porter was to him. Danny and Lacey had only been together a few times. However, those few times sparked so much in them both. Being each other's first heightened their adventure as lovers. He wasn't going there with Jo ever. The sooner she got the hint, they better they both would be.
Karen stuck her head into Danny's bedroom door. "Danny, Jo is wanting to come up." She walked in with a huge smile. "But I wanted to talk to you first."
Danny sat up on his bed. "Jo?"
Before he could finish asking, Karen flashed her hand in front of Danny's face. "Jack asked me to marry him." She said excitedly. "I said Yes."
"Congratulations, Mom." Danny pulled Karen into an embrace. "I'm glad you're happy."
"I am." Karen pulled back from Danny's hug. She pushed a few tendrils of hair behind his ear. "Are you happy, Danny? I mean ….with Jo?" Karen looked confused at her son. Danny stared at her without an answer. "Lacey seemed to make you so happy. She was always the one you seemed to have a crush on even before…" She hesitated at her thoughts of using the words 'before juvie'. "I thought you two would get serious."
Danny exhaled as he sat up straighter. "We were serious." He didn't feel like his mother needed to know how serious because it hurt to even mention their relationship had progressed into intimacy before his world fell apart. "Lacey needs to move on from my life, Mom. Jo...well...she takes me with all my flaws. No questions asked."
"I guess it is easier to have a girlfriend that doesn't pressure you about things. But Danny, just because Jo was there in that moment and the worst moment of your life may have been shared with her, that doesn't equate love or happiness. It only equates a shared drama. Nothing else. It doesn't make her understand you more." Karen breathed out a long sigh. "I only want to see you happy. If that means Jo, fine. But if this is just settling, don't do that. I want you to get the happiness you deserve."
"I am doing exactly that. This is what I deserve." Danny closed his eyes. "I still feel bad. Can you send Jo away?"
"Sure, Sweetie." Karen kissed Danny's forehead. "I love you."
Karen got up and walked out of Danny's bedroom pulling the door closed as she went. Danny slipped his hand into the jacket pocket and pulled out the bottle of pills. He opened the bottle and popped two pills in his mouth. He told himself that he wasn't going to get hooked on drugs. It was just a momentary relief he needed to forget the pain he was feeling.
Soon Danny was laying in his bed staring up at the ceiling. He smiled as he chuckled slightly at the thoughts playing in his head.
"I want a balloon sword." Danny pouted as he looked at the magician, who handed him a light blue balloon dog animal.
Jo knocked her shoulder into Danny's. "I told him to make you a doggie like mine. See." She held a pink dog balloon animal up.
"But I want a sword. I want to play pirates." Danny whined out.
"It's my birthday, Danny." Jo pouted as she held tightly to her pink balloon dog. "What I say goes."
Karen walked up with Tess. "Are you two having fun?"
"I wanted a sword." Danny held up the blue dog. "The magician can only make one balloon thing for each kid."
"I told him to give Danny a dog like mine." Jo spoke up as she crossed her arms. "It is my seventh birthday."
"It is her birthday, Danny." Karen smiled weakly at him. "Don't be so selfish. Do what Jo wants."
Tess stuck out her hand to take Jo's. "Time for presents and cake. Come on."
Lacey had stood back watching. She held a balloon sword as she stared at Danny. Lacey took a deep breath as she leaned to pick a jagged stick from the ground. She walked up and poked Danny's dog bursting the balloon. "Oops." She grinned mischievously. "I guess you'll have to take mine since I burst yours."
Danny shook his head. "You didn't have to give me yours." Danny said as he walked with Lacey towards Jo, who was already ripping open her presents.
"It is no fun playing pirates without you." Lacey pushed her sweaty palms over her forehead. "Besides, I wanted to be the princess. You can be the pirate that protects me."
"You never want to be a princess, Lace." Danny swished the balloon sword in the air as he pretended to fend off imaginary pirates. "You're just saying that to make me happy."
"You always make me happy, Lacey." Danny said in the dream but also out loud as his eyes drooped almost closed.
Jo stood in his doorway staring in. She had went home and talked her mother into making Danny some chicken soup to make him feel better. After talking Karen into letting her give Danny the soup personally, she made it up to Danny's room to surprise him. It was Jo who was in for the surprise as she heard him repeat the words again.
"You always made me happy, Lacey." Danny murmured as he added. "You're the only one that can still make me happy."
Jo gritted her teeth ready to pounce on Danny with her angry words. However, she stopped short when Danny's phone rang.
Lacey lay in bed as she read over some notes for tomorrow's history test. She hoped Danny studied this time. Perhaps, she should call to make sure. Wasn't that being a friend? She was still his friend, wasn't she?
She called Danny's cellphone before she changed her mind. Danny answered with slurred words.
"You always make me happy, Lacey." He chuckled slightly at his words.
Jo's eyes immediately blurred with tears. She turned and ran out of Danny's house until she stopped to catch her breath. She panted out angrily to nothingness. She looked at the bowl of soup clutched in her hands. "Seriously, Danny Desai. You and Lacey won't hurt me again. I'm your only hope. Maybe I saw a few things wrong. I'm not sure if your dad was trying to hurt you or reaching to help you up when you hit him." Jo sneered. "You belong to me, Danny. Like it or not."